Interesting. I wasn't sure if it was me being my generally irritable self or not.
I've never given her much thought but I've been annoyed with her recently with her comment about the boards and the friends she's made that, IIRC correctly was in response to you saying something to the effect on not trying to make friends on the boards and keeping your life segregated (I might have that wrong, though). As if her experience as an Asian woman was the same as a black woman. I seem to remember you calling her out on that one though, again, I might have that wrong as well.
ok, so I'm sure I'm coming at this late and it's been discussed already but I get so pissy whenever I see the new Pokemon post on ML and in the first post, Miso says something about the person who started the original Pokemon thread was "run off". I missed a lot of the backstory because I'm not super active on GBCN except the makeup board but I kind of gleaned the backstory about supergreen. So no, she wasn't "run off "like she was some poor innocent persecuted in a witch hunt. Blech.
Sadly, I am sure she is not the only one who has perceived everything happening recently as some sort of witch hunt or Spanish Inquisition. I tried to say as much in one of the threads and immediately got a defensive "no, I'm not scared! You're misinterpreting this" from someone, but frankly, I think that's bullshit. I don't think I am misinterpreting a damned thing. I think people are more focused on whether they are "saying the wrong thing" (and @natariru knows someone actually asked her why she was being defriended when she "has never said anything wrong on the board") than on confronting their own biases or giving a shit whether they are raising their children to do any better than they themselves have done.
Interesting. I wasn't sure if it was me being my generally irritable self or not.
I've never given her much thought but I've been annoyed with her recently with her comment about the boards and the friends she's made that, IIRC correctly was in response to you saying something to the effect on not trying to make friends on the boards and keeping your life segregated (I might have that wrong, though). As if her experience as an Asian woman was the same as a black woman. I seem to remember you calling her out on that one though, again, I might have that wrong as well.
And then the "run off" comment. So tone deaf.
No, you're remembering correctly. I think, in a nutshell, that she gets away with typical "white girl" behavior on the boards, but then still wants to insert herself into conversations about racism against black people. Her actions, at least on this board, don't match up with her assertions, so I usually just roll my eyes. But when she went ahead and tagged me in her usual BS, I got heated. She defended Booby so hard at first that I assumed they were best friends. Come to find out, she'd never even met the woman! Lol. It was so weird. And don't even get me started on the bragging about cursing people out IRL over dumb shit (as if any black woman on here could get away with that). So, no, you don't experience the boards in the same way that I do, and there is a very obvious reason for that.
The conversations here, especially sfy and 05heel, have helped me worked through some work relationship stuff I've been dealing with for years. I've been stressing about how I relate to the group of women I'm social with at work. When I first started here I would say "they're nice but just not my people". I knew deep down that we couldn't connect because they live in a different world than I do. They leave their white world only to save the black and brown kids for 6 hours a day and then scurry back a quickly as possible while patting themselves on the back for different than their neighbors. This last week has made me realize that I'm not going to have a deep connection with these women and that's ok. It's OK to keep them at arm's length and KOKO.
I have a few white friends from grad school that I fell are real friends. One I barely see now with kids and work but we talk regularly. The other is a close friend who I see regularly. I think she's the closest to getting it but she's not there yet. I plan to be more raw with them regarding race because I need to be sure they are who I believe them to be. I've always been honest with them but I've been prettying things up for white people my whole life. I can't continue to do that.
The conversations here, especially sfy and 05heel , have helped me worked through some work relationship stuff I've been dealing with for years. I've been stressing about how I relate to the group of women I'm social with at work. When I first started here I would say "they're nice but just not my people". I knew deep down that we couldn't connect because they live in a different world than I do. They leave their white world only to save the black and brown kids for 6 hours a day and then scurry back a quickly as possible while patting themselves on the back for different than their neighbors. This last week has made me realize that I'm not going to have a deep connection with these women and that's ok. It's OK to keep them at arm's length and KOKO.
I have a few white friends from grad school that I fell are real friends. One I barely see now with kids and work but we talk regularly. The other is a close friend who I see regularly. I think she's the closest to getting it but she's not there yet. I plan to be more raw with them regarding race because I need to be sure they are who I believe them to be. I've always been honest with them but I've been prettying things up for white people my whole life. I can't continue to do that.
Go in and let have. You will have no regrets either way--whether they are the people you hope them to be or not. Save
The conversations here, especially sfy and 05heel , have helped me worked through some work relationship stuff I've been dealing with for years. I've been stressing about how I relate to the group of women I'm social with at work. When I first started here I would say "they're nice but just not my people". I knew deep down that we couldn't connect because they live in a different world than I do. They leave their white world only to save the black and brown kids for 6 hours a day and then scurry back a quickly as possible while patting themselves on the back for different than their neighbors. This last week has made me realize that I'm not going to have a deep connection with these women and that's ok. It's OK to keep them at arm's length and KOKO.
I have a few white friends from grad school that I fell are real friends. One I barely see now with kids and work but we talk regularly. The other is a close friend who I see regularly. I think she's the closest to getting it but she's not there yet. I plan to be more raw with them regarding race because I need to be sure they are who I believe them to be. I've always been honest with them but I've been prettying things up for white people my whole life. I can't continue to do that.
I wish more black people (because I don't care how white people feel about this) felt comfortable acknowledging the fundamental disconnect between the two groups. It just...is. Actual and factual, as TLC would say. For me, it's no different than saying that water is wet. I'm not offended by it, nor do I feel any kind of way about it. I know there are people who truly wish this divide didn't exist, and I can respect that. I'm not there, but it's cool. But we can at least allow ourselves to acknowledge it, even if it's only in the interest of self-protection. I just try to remember that wherever that original divide came from, it's been carefully cultivated and maintained by white people. They want it this way, and don't let them tell you otherwise.
I just read the Solange thread on April 2012. They are dense over there. 1. No one noticed tambcat has used the N-word until karinothing pointed it out....really??? Then they are all just realizing the difference their 11 yo kid would receive v. Solange's. They didn't think about disparate treated among black v. white kids with the Tamir Rice shooting or the graduation pool party that warranted the ninja cop doing a tuck and roll or Trayvon Martin or the million other stories that have been in the news and all over these boards? They are just seeing it after this post? It must be nice living in ignorant bliss.
I just read the Solange thread on April 2012. They are dense over there. 1. No one noticed tambcat has used the N-word until karinothing pointed it out....really??? Then they are all just realizing the difference their 11 yo kid would receive v. Solange's. They didn't think about disparate treated among black v. white kids with the Tamir Rice shooting or the graduation pool party that warranted the ninja cop doing a tuck and roll or Trayvon Martin or the million other stories that have been in the news and all over these boards? They are just seeing it after this post? It must be nice living in ignorant bliss.
They're listening! They're learning!
The hand wringing in that thread and the Good schools thread had me rolling my eyes.