Post by Black Lavender on Sept 8, 2016 19:56:55 GMT -5
So I'm finally getting caught up on all this, and am I the only one who immediately goes to the "bitch, you can meet me outside and we can handle this shit"?
@natariru that's horrible! @kirkette "best of luck with your bad ass children" has become my favorite phrase.
Is not being a complete racist in 3-2-1 Magic? I don't know. I don't read those books. Maybe it should be though white people might actually take it to heart, if they ever stop getting beat on by their tiny assed terrorist long enough to read, and gain knowledge.
Fuck, girl, you pull no punches!
I've been away all day so I have to go and catch the MMM thread. @natariru, I'm so sorry.
I have so much second hand embarrassment. How do you not stop and think about the words that you are TYPING. I guess it's because you aren't really "listening" and "learning".
ETA I am also ashamed of myself for not calling out the comment about Newark.
This feels like middle school to me. All those years of being made fun of for being the wrong color and the wrong culture. You can't ever forget, no matter how hard I try.
Post by newnamesameperson on Sept 9, 2016 8:32:05 GMT -5
I feel embarrassed to say but something really clicked in that thread for me. I've always wondered when people make comments about my race and others race what did they truly mean by that. Could they have really meant it? Their liberals, so no they didn't mean it that way.
Wrong.
They did mean it that way. I feel like liberal is the new way of showing how open minded you are, but really you can be the same intolerable racist as someone who doesn't identify as liberal.
You all are amazing. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. All the fuck yous. The bloop just about did me in. It's not like anything is going to change so we may as well as some fun.
@kirkette is up in there telling the truth and shaming the devil. You went all in my friend. Well done.
This is where I am. Not a damn thing will change so rather than allow them to have me feeling some type of way, I'm running through that thread high fiving and laughing at those tripping over themselves to explain how they're not racist.
Post by newnamesameperson on Sept 10, 2016 20:12:39 GMT -5
I gave up on it. I don't care anymore. I'm not here to educate grown people how to not act like fools. I've seen so many eloquent and kind responses by the women on this board be met with fluff. Yep, go ahead and check in saying you're absorbing but are you really? Or is it because you're scared of a call out from a damn internet board?!
I think some of them actually believe they can do better. Someone needs to be a friend and tell them that it's too late. If you've managed to reach full grown adulthood, have spawned children, and still struggle with this concept? Lol. You have my full permission to give it all the way the fuck up. No hard feelings.
Much of that thread reminded me of "days of dialogue" from high school and college that never changed anything on campus and usually left people of color more vulnerable and hurt in the end.
Seriously the two of you have blown me away. For the past several weeks/months I have been struggling with some relationships I have with white women and in my head I knew it stems from a shift in my behaviour and character where I am less willing to buy into the colour blindness nonsense. And it makes them uncomfortable. But what you both have said about fundamentally not being able to trust white women is hitting me hard. I have several white friends that I love but you know we have never had a conversation about race deeper than seeing them share black lives matter posts.
Anyway that was probably a bunch of confusion but the gist of it is I just wanted to say thank you for the clarity.
hey, no problem. I'm trying to strike that balance between being supportive, and acting like an obnoxious mother hen coming to collect my babies. Lol. You know what I mean though. I just couldn't watch anymore. I hate to see us hurting. Someone should really consider the idea of a black ally certification or something. Sadly, I'd probably land myself in jail very quickly, so I'll have to leave it to people with a lot more chill.
I hope you're able to come to a place of comfort and understanding with your friend. Don't be afraid to pull back and protect yourself though. It doesn't make you (or even her) a bad person.
Hey, I understand. I have even been there. I have told this story before, but I had a friend (we weren't especially close, no phone calls--which is generally my measure of whether I'm close to someone--but would meet for lunch/dinner several times a year, catch a movie together from time to time) who is from South America and not long ago, said something to me that made me reenact the Wee-bey gif. It's interesting how you can have a relationship with someone for a long time and until something happens, it can all be quite surface. Mind you, we'd had some discussions about race before (because I can't not have a discussion about race with someone I consider a friend), but what that conversation taught me is that for many non-black people, sometimes you have to dig, dig, dig, because they might be thinking straight on the major things, but on more insidious topics, they might say something to knock your wig back.
Also, it been years of us having pretty frank--but not especially deep--conversations when we had a conversation that went something like this:
Me: "Because you know" blah blah blah "white people" Her: "Well, not all white people (lol!), because obviously, I don't" blah blah blah Me: *blank stare* "Wait, what? You're white? You identify as white?"
Bro, like no wonder! That was need to know information lol.
Hey, I understand. I have even been there. I have told this story before, but I had a friend (we weren't especially close, no phone calls--which is generally my measure of whether I'm close to someone--but would meet for lunch/dinner several times a year, catch a movie together from time to time) who is from South America and not long ago, said something to me that made me reenact the Wee-bey gif. It's interesting how you can have a relationship with someone for a long time and until something happens, it can all be quite surface. Mind you, we'd had some discussions about race before (because I can't not have a discussion about race with someone I consider a friend), but what that conversation taught me is that for many non-black people, sometimes you have to dig, dig, dig, because they might be thinking straight on the major things, but on more insidious topics, they might say something to knock your wig back.
Also, it been years of us having pretty frank--but not especially deep--conversations when we had a conversation that went something like this:
Me: "Because you know" blah blah blah "white people" Her: "Well, not all white people (lol!), because obviously, I don't" blah blah blah Me: *blank stare* "Wait, what? You're white? You identify as white?"
Bro, like no wonder! That was need to know information lol.
My own sister identified as "white" for so long (she is in fact lighter than me) and I just kept looking at her like "ok, sure, you are white, have fun with your white friends". Until one of those friends called her a "fucking spic" to her face.
I can see how it's confusing to find a spot to identify with, especially being an immigrant or having immigrant parents.
I didn't want to like this because of what happened to your sister, but yes, that's true. It's another set of issues that I recognize are also complicated and that I will not fully understand. Save
Hey, I understand. I have even been there. I have told this story before, but I had a friend (we weren't especially close, no phone calls--which is generally my measure of whether I'm close to someone--but would meet for lunch/dinner several times a year, catch a movie together from time to time) who is from South America and not long ago, said something to me that made me reenact the Wee-bey gif. It's interesting how you can have a relationship with someone for a long time and until something happens, it can all be quite surface. Mind you, we'd had some discussions about race before (because I can't not have a discussion about race with someone I consider a friend), but what that conversation taught me is that for many non-black people, sometimes you have to dig, dig, dig, because they might be thinking straight on the major things, but on more insidious topics, they might say something to knock your wig back.
Also, it been years of us having pretty frank--but not especially deep--conversations when we had a conversation that went something like this:
Me: "Because you know" blah blah blah "white people" Her: "Well, not all white people (lol!), because obviously, I don't" blah blah blah Me: *blank stare* "Wait, what? You're white? You identify as white?"
Bro, like no wonder! That was need to know information lol.
My own sister identified as "white" for so long (she is in fact lighter than me) and I just kept looking at her like "ok, sure, you are white, have fun with your white friends". Until one of those friends called her a "fucking spic" to her face.
I can see how it's confusing to find a spot to identify with, especially being an immigrant or having immigrant parents.
I think the immigrant minority experience is incredibly hard. Not that I have any direct knowledge, but I honestly consider this an under appreciated privilege of mine.
Post by EnchantedSoul on Sept 11, 2016 9:30:43 GMT -5
The shit that's going down over there is very similar to what went down on April for us. I've been liking most of what 05heel and sfy have been saying and nodding in agreement. I knew from jump that these folks would never be my friends. But every time something significant would happen and we would express concern about our fellow persons of color or our own children, husbands, brothers we would be met with crickets. Or another Janie and Jack thread that would have three or four pages and essentially no one could give a shit whether or not we were hurting inside. The lack of basic fucking decency toward us rang loud and clear.
I don't post a lot, especially now but I find it fucking rich that those heifers are over there talking about how they need to do better. POC don't fucking have to be told how to be decent to fellow humans. Furthermore, they only feel the need to do better because some other white people told them so.
I'm glad you guys spoke up but since I don't post there I figure I'd just leave them to their own devices. I'm sorry WOC were hurt (again) but know that you guys have support in us.