Self Care Thread?

[gazpacho]

Hi, ladies.

My self-care routine has fallen apart and I need to get back on track (like yesterday). Anyone up for a self-care thread? I am sure most have their own self-care goals (weight loss; destressing; budgeting, etc). So, a general thread might be nice. Just thought I would put it out there. This would be a perfect space for a 'SELF-CARE' thread!!

[borinquen57]

Short term
Physical: mani/pedi, walks
Emotional/Mental: reading, GNO, sewing/crochet/crafting

Long term
Physical: weight-loss surgery
Emotional/Mental: divorce

My long term self-care actions are very drastic.

[thejackpot]

Good idea! Self care is a weak spot for me. Like a lot of other folks, I give so much to the family that sometimes I feel drained. So I am taking small steps to get my act together.
Currently doing Whole 30! I am on day 19 and it is going great. Not supposed to weigh myself but I have enjoyed the non scale victories of feeling good, wearing smaller jeans and filling fresh faced.
I have been walking everyday and I am committed to doing some form of exercise daily.
I am also checking in on my friendships more. Made a dinner date this week.
Also for personal care, I recently started electrolysis to get rid of annoying hair and that is making me feel less like the bearded lady

I would like to read more. I checked out a few books for myself this week.

[skwcm80]

Right now I think I do ok in the self care department. I run like a mad woman. My life isn't stress free but I think I have a good balance. So my long term goal is KOKO, my short term goal is to grow back the toenail I lost to whe training gods.

Thank goodness flip flop season is almost over.

[gazpacho]

Physical: 'Eating/Weight-Loss--> I fell off the wagon and regained 20lbs. I've been so stressed and my eating has been terrible and I haven't been working out due to injury. I am recommitting to eating better and working out (minimum of 5 days a week). I am going back to running as it helped me relieve stress and lose weight. My goal is to get serious and lose 50 lbs over the next 10 months.

Also, I have been making sure I de-stress every day. I have been going to get massages monthly and the occasional facial.

Mental/Emotional: Spending time doing something OTHER than my work. I am so much more than my work and I need to start enacting that--before it is too late. I am working on establishing clearer boundaries and finding some of the passion I have lost (or tucked away).

ETA: I have a couple more things to add later.

[DesertMoon]

So I have a lot of trouble with self care. I've got 2 kids under 4 and just don't have the energy,

I acknowledged my depression recently and began antidepressants which has helped. I've been losing weighty rapidly which isn't great since I'm already very slight. I'm trying to eat 3 meals, but it's hard to force an appetite especially when I so easily can dismiss it by thinking oh I'm busy, or oh I'll eat after I get the kids fed.

I HAVE been going to the gym, lifting weights just to build some strength and getting massages. It's not much but it's an hr alone and it helps me feel better.

I hope we all can take better care of our fabulous selves.

[bimbi284]

I recently did a self care challenge with friends. It was a 21 day thing with a new thing to think about/do each week day.
Day 1: Ditch Habits, Create Practices
Habits are unconscious repetitive acts that are done without intention or mindfulness. Our habits often conspire to eliminate spaciousness in our daily lives. Creating “spaciousness”—a breath, an interval, or a moment to consider or to reconsider—is one of the most critical aspects of self-care. It’s key to unlocking our creativity, gaining a wide perspective, cultivating resilience, thinking strategically, and making a greater impact as a movement!

When we become aware of our habits, we can choose to replace them with intentional practices, which are repetitive acts that are consciously done for an explicit benefit (like creating spaciousness) and which can be improved over time.

SCC Icon
Today's Challenge
Self-care confessions: When we stop to think about it, we probably all have habits that sabotage our self-care. We've heard folks confess to slouching at their desk instead of sitting or standing with an upright, dignified posture; grazing throughout the day instead of eating healthy meals; wasting away the first minutes of the morning by mindlessly surfing the internet; and keeping a schedule so busy that the things most important to you (and yes, some days that may include maintaining your eyebrows) get lost.

Today, confess (if only to yourself) one specific habit that is undermining your self-care. Then name an intentional practice that you want to shift toward instead.

Day 2: Stay Hydrated Regularly… With H2O!
Hydration is one of the simplest, yet most essential things you can do for your self-care. We’re sure you already know how good water is for you, that it boosts your energy, and helps with digestion. But did you know that:

85% of your brain tissue is water!

If you’re dehydrated, your mind and body are like a car running on empty.

Bottom line: If you’re like some people around here not drinking enough water, you are not giving your mind and body what they need to be their most impactful.

Psst. Coffee drinkers. If you’ve been drinking that cup of coffee and feeling pretty good about yourself, thinking “It’s not like I’m drinking Diet Coke for breakfast. It’s mostly water, right?” We’ve got some bad news for you. That ain’t gonna cut it. You need the good stuff: the pure H2O. At a bare minimum, drink 1 cup of water for every 1 cup of coffee.

Today's Challenge
Place a big bottle of water by your desk and drink from it regularly. Was it empty by the end of the day? Did you do multiple refills? Note how much you drank by the end of the day.

Deepen Your Practice
Increase that amount a little bit each day. Try to add a cup a day this week.


Day 3: Practice 20-20-20 Vision
How long have you been sitting there staring at your screen? How are your eyes doing right now? Many of our jobs require us to stare at a computer for a good chunk of the day. When we get into this zone, we begin to over-tax our mind and body which leads to a diminishing return on our productivity.

Today's Challenge
Set a calendar reminder or alarm on your phone to look away from the computer screen for 20 seconds every 20 minutes. You should try to focus on something at least 20 feet away. This will give your eyes a chance to re-lubricate, your mind to rest, and your body to notice any physical needs you might be ignoring. Does the idea of looking up from your computer every 20 minutes sound disruptive to you? Here’s the thing: we need to disrupt this habit which is causing us to work in a less-than productive way. Work smarter. Not harder.

Deepen Your Practice
When you look up and out, notice one thing that you never noticed before. How long has that building been there?

Day 4: Breathe Low and Slooow
Are you aware of your breath right now?

How about now?

Did you know that over 90% of us are using less than 50% of our breathing capacity? Think about the last time you were anxious or stressed. Was your breath fast and shallow? High up in your chest? Could you not think properly or strategically? Our body will often exhibit signs of anxiety and stress before our mind even registers it!

By intentionally breathing slowly from low in our core and cultivating this practice on a regular basis, we become our most powerful selves: physically AND mentally.

Today's Challenge
Intentionally set yourself up to be your most grounded, present, powerful self:

Before each meeting or appointment you go into, take three slow and deep breaths. Make sure you can feel the balls of your feet on the ground. Focus on your breathing to let your mind clear – experiment by filing your mind with a single exhale. You will literally feel more grounded and better able to engage in the meeting you are going into! Over time, this practice can help create the spaciousness that is required for strategic thinking.

Deepen Your Practice
The next time you find yourself breathing fast and high in your chest, take a moment to slow your breathing down. Breathe deeply from just below your belly button. You want your exhales to be longer than your inhales. You may find that relaxing your body out of the state of anxiety may also affect the anxiety in your mind. This will allow you to respond (or not) rather than just react.


(Can't find days 5/6, whoops)


Day 7: Spaciousness is Essential for Self-Care
On our first day, we introduced spaciousness as a breath, an interval, or a brief pause from our daily work. Can you remember why spaciousness is essential for self-care?

If you answered something like: “because it allows you to think creatively to imagine new possibilities for greater impact and to be sustainable in the long haul?” You got that right!

Poetry is an amazing tool for helping to cultivate spaciousness and unlock our creative side. And the poem “Fire” reminds us of how important spaciousness is.

Today's Challenge
Read “Fire” out loud to yourself (or with others who might be taking this challenge with you).

Deepen Your Practice
Let’s get creative. Pick one line from the poem and -- using your selection as the first line -- write your own 5-line poem. Give yourself only 5 minutes to do this and write whatever comes to mind. Don’t overthink it! Set the timer, let it flow and see what’s in there, waiting to come out.

Day 8: Connecting to Others
Have you done a quick check-in with your people today? Creating space to connect with others is another form of self-care! By investing the time in seeing each other’s humanity (and in being seen), we build relationship and trust. And that is the foundation for a powerful movement for social change.

Today's Challenge
At one of your meetings, instead of going straight into the agenda, do a short check-in with folks first. Try these prompts or create one of your own:
One thing I do to take care of myself is…
Tell a story about a recent time you felt powerful. How did it feel in your body?
What are you going to do after we end violence against girls and women?

How did starting by connecting as human beings affect your experience? Did you learn anything new about your colleagues? Appreciate them differently? Did the tone of the meeting shift?

Deepen Your Practice
Want to connect more deeply with your colleagues? Try out our love notes toolkit.


Day 9: Go Pee -- Join the Self-Care Revolution!
An advocate we love gave us permission to share her self-care confession:
"I used to hold my pee for hours at a time to work longer without taking a break. When I finally did hurry down the hall to the bathroom, I would unbuckle and unzip my pants along the way to 'save time.' Even after several embarrassing encounters with unsuspecting passersby, I kept it up in service of getting more done."
We are happy to report that she has replaced that habit with the revolutionary practice of making time to pee (and is now keeping it zipped).
For those of us scheduling back to back meetings with no spaciousness for thinking, much less other critical bodily functions, not having to pee can seem like a great convenience. Of course, what it tells us is that you are not hydrating sufficiently and your body is not getting what it needs to function at its peak performance.
Your mind and body are intimately connected. Think of it this way: If your bladder isn’t charging on all cylinders, neither is your mind.

Today's Challenge
Note how many times you go to the bathroom. If you’re not going at least once in a 3-4 hour block, drink more water!
Psst. If you are proudly peeing due to the amount of caffeine you are drinking, this is your friendly reminder that coffee doesn’t count as water. Try to replace at least one of those split-shot americanos or double soy lattes with a nice, refreshing cup of H2O.

Deepen Your Practice
Check out the color of your pee before you flush: the lighter, the better.
Yeah. We went there.

(Missing some more, damn)

Day 18: Make the Time and Space to Think Big
Sometimes in our daily work routine, we get so caught up in the never-ending tasks at hand that we don’t have the spaciousness to step back and think big; to reflect on the world we are trying to create. To be a powerful movement for social change, we need to have a clear vision of where we are trying to get TO in order to develop strategies for how to get there.


Today's Challenge
Actively schedule a big chunk of time to get your best big picture thinking. Start with 30-60 minutes to think about the world you are trying to create and how your current work drives toward that purpose --and note where it doesn't! You might find opportunities to be your most impactful by eliminating projects that don't serve your purpose!


Deepen Your Practice
Do this activity with your colleagues and share what your powerful visions entail!

Days 19 & 20: Connection between Mind, Body, and Spirit
Science tells us that it takes 21 days to break a habit and we are well on our way! By now, we hope you’ve learned that your mind, body, and spirit are beautifully interconnected.This poem, shared with us by faculty member Norma Wong, demonstrates what it means for YOU to be connected to your mind, body, and spirit.

Our mind, body, and spirit are “hard-wired”
together; each impacts the other
When one part is tired or depleted,
all parts are tired and depleted
By working on and restoring one part,
all parts benefit


Today's Challenge
Remember that old adage that smiling and laughing can instantly make you feel better and happier? Share a video, gif, meme, or photo that made you smile.

Deepen Your Practice
Notice whether caring for your physical self has benefited or improved your mental and spiritual self. Share with us.


Day 21: Put Your Oxygen Mask On First!
Every time we board a plane, flight attendants tell us we must put on our own oxygen mask before attending to anyone around us who might require assistance. We know that we can’t reliably show up for others if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. The same applies in this work. While we may be able to keep driving forward by sheer force of will without practicing self-care, we are simply not bringing our most powerful selves to the effort. To stay in this for the long haul, stay open to possibilities, cultivate our creativity and have the greatest impact possible, we need to take care of our most essential resource: ourselves.

At the end of these 21 days, this is a good time to remind ourselves: self-care is not something we do when we are beyond depleted. That's called recovery. Self-care for impact needs to be in every moment. In the breathing, hydration, spaciousness, and more that we must cultivate every single day.


Today's Challenge
Read this piece about the ripple effect out loud. Think about the people in your family, community, and beyond that you could affect by being a more impactful you through self-care. Reflect on what this looks and feels like to you.

Also, super important for my own self care is having good boundaries in a variety of ways. I find this helpful:
blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2016/06/quotes-healthy-boundaries/

[sfy]

I am the most lazy, selfish and self-indulgent bastard on the planet. I am happy to share my ways of carefree living and absolute sloth with all of you, so long as your spouses/partners and families do not come after me later .

Physical
Daily/twice daily bath with products (heavy into lavender for the relaxation quality), candles and heavy moisturization products afterward
3-5 workout days a week - spin, yoga, swim, and /or hike
Biweekly hair appointments, pedicures, manicures and eyebrow threading
Monthly facials
Occasional spa days (have been increasing these as of late)

Mental
Daily alone/me time
Meditation
Yoga
Girls' days/nights
Refrain from doing most things I don't enjoy doing, don't tell people yes when I don't feel like doing something

Spiritual
Daily prayer, giving of thanks
Occasionally praying the rosary, novenas
Sporadically attend church

[sfy]

Sept 11, 2016 7:31:39 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Sept 11, 2016 7:25:05 GMT -5 sfy said:

I am the most lazy, selfish and self-indulgent bastard on the planet. I am happy to share my ways of carefree living and absolute sloth with all of you, so long as your spouses/partners and families do not come after me later .

Teach us your ways, wise one!

Lol I edited. But one of my friends is active in so many organizations. She also has a demanding job and gives a substantial amount of her time to her family and church. She is a great person to everyone, but I don't want to be great person to everyone . I want to be happy. I think the main thing is knowing when and how to say no to things that take away from you. We all want to give, but I'm first on the give list. After that, if I have time, and if I feel like it, I will do what I want and not much more.

[gazpacho]

Sept 11, 2016 7:41:15 GMT -5 sfy said:

Sept 11, 2016 7:31:39 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Teach us your ways, wise one!

Lol I edited. But one of my friends is active in so many organizations. She also has a demanding job and gives a substantial amount of her time to her family and church. She is a great person to everyone, but I don't want to be great person to everyone . I want to be happy. I think the main thing is knowing when and how to say no to things that take away from you. We all want to give, but I'm first on the give list. After that, if I have time, and if I feel like it, I will do what I want and not much more.

 Not saying "NO" has been an issue for me. The superwoman myth is just that. I have had multiple Black female colleagues who have died or have serious health issues due to this social expectation. I am learning to be more selfish!!

[sfy]

Sept 11, 2016 8:01:38 GMT -5 @natariru said:

And put my phone down.

This is something I need to do, too!  My phone makes me happy, so I don't .  But I have reminded myself that it has to be practically impossible to have a truly centered and balanced life with a fucking phone grafted to your hand and often, face. I can't keep telling myself otherwise so I can keep doing what I want lol.
Save

[05heel]

This is a good thread. I'm working on this too. One thing I've done is started buying new clothes again. I recently built a house, so I poured a lot of money and time into that and related purchases. But I swear I used to be so fly, and was starting to feel unmoored by my lack of focus on my appearance. Shallow? Maybe, but I'm also a fake gospel singer, so what do you expect? :-). My next goal is to get back on my hair game. I've been natural for like 7 years and I'll never go back, but natural doesn't mean carefree and no maintenance. Not for me anyway. I feel better when my hair is on point, so I'm going back to my previous obsession.

Lastly, I do yoga and other mindful shit, yada, yada, yada. I make sure I read at least three books per month, and my #1 self care practice is to say no to whomever I want, whenever I please.

[skwcm80]

Sept 11, 2016 7:45:42 GMT -5 gazpacho said:

Sept 11, 2016 7:41:15 GMT -5 sfy said:

 Not saying "NO" has been an issue for me. The superwoman myth is just that. I have had multiple Black female colleagues who have died or have serious health issues due to this social expectation. I am learning to be more selfish!!

I have several friends like this. One in particular could have 4 appointments through the course of the day, and if I were to ask her to meet me she'd find a way to indulge me. I remind her all the time that her mile long to-do list isn't going anywhere so she needs to take some time for herself.


Not me though. I'll sit right next to sfy, I want to be happy. I tell folks all the time that I say no only because I feel like I haven't said it in a while. They think I'm joking, but I'm not. 

[bimbi284]

Sept 11, 2016 7:25:19 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Sept 11, 2016 2:20:42 GMT -5 bimbi284 said:

I recently did a self care challenge with friends. It was a 21 day thing with a new thing to think about/do each week day.
Day 1: Ditch Habits, Create Practices
Habits are unconscious repetitive acts that are done without intention or mindfulness. Our habits often conspire to eliminate spaciousness in our daily lives. Creating “spaciousness”—a breath, an interval, or a moment to consider or to reconsider—is one of the most critical aspects of self-care. It’s key to unlocking our creativity, gaining a wide perspective, cultivating resilience, thinking strategically, and making a greater impact as a movement!

When we become aware of our habits, we can choose to replace them with intentional practices, which are repetitive acts that are consciously done for an explicit benefit (like creating spaciousness) and which can be improved over time.

SCC Icon
Today's Challenge
Self-care confessions: When we stop to think about it, we probably all have habits that sabotage our self-care. We've heard folks confess to slouching at their desk instead of sitting or standing with an upright, dignified posture; grazing throughout the day instead of eating healthy meals; wasting away the first minutes of the morning by mindlessly surfing the internet; and keeping a schedule so busy that the things most important to you (and yes, some days that may include maintaining your eyebrows) get lost.

Today, confess (if only to yourself) one specific habit that is undermining your self-care. Then name an intentional practice that you want to shift toward instead.

Day 2: Stay Hydrated Regularly… With H2O!
Hydration is one of the simplest, yet most essential things you can do for your self-care. We’re sure you already know how good water is for you, that it boosts your energy, and helps with digestion. But did you know that:

85% of your brain tissue is water!

If you’re dehydrated, your mind and body are like a car running on empty.

Bottom line: If you’re like some people around here not drinking enough water, you are not giving your mind and body what they need to be their most impactful.

Psst. Coffee drinkers. If you’ve been drinking that cup of coffee and feeling pretty good about yourself, thinking “It’s not like I’m drinking Diet Coke for breakfast. It’s mostly water, right?” We’ve got some bad news for you. That ain’t gonna cut it. You need the good stuff: the pure H2O. At a bare minimum, drink 1 cup of water for every 1 cup of coffee.

Today's Challenge
Place a big bottle of water by your desk and drink from it regularly. Was it empty by the end of the day? Did you do multiple refills? Note how much you drank by the end of the day.

Deepen Your Practice
Increase that amount a little bit each day. Try to add a cup a day this week.


Day 3: Practice 20-20-20 Vision
How long have you been sitting there staring at your screen? How are your eyes doing right now? Many of our jobs require us to stare at a computer for a good chunk of the day. When we get into this zone, we begin to over-tax our mind and body which leads to a diminishing return on our productivity.

Today's Challenge
Set a calendar reminder or alarm on your phone to look away from the computer screen for 20 seconds every 20 minutes. You should try to focus on something at least 20 feet away. This will give your eyes a chance to re-lubricate, your mind to rest, and your body to notice any physical needs you might be ignoring. Does the idea of looking up from your computer every 20 minutes sound disruptive to you? Here’s the thing: we need to disrupt this habit which is causing us to work in a less-than productive way. Work smarter. Not harder.

Deepen Your Practice
When you look up and out, notice one thing that you never noticed before. How long has that building been there?

Day 4: Breathe Low and Slooow
Are you aware of your breath right now?

How about now?

Did you know that over 90% of us are using less than 50% of our breathing capacity? Think about the last time you were anxious or stressed. Was your breath fast and shallow? High up in your chest? Could you not think properly or strategically? Our body will often exhibit signs of anxiety and stress before our mind even registers it!

By intentionally breathing slowly from low in our core and cultivating this practice on a regular basis, we become our most powerful selves: physically AND mentally.

Today's Challenge
Intentionally set yourself up to be your most grounded, present, powerful self:

Before each meeting or appointment you go into, take three slow and deep breaths. Make sure you can feel the balls of your feet on the ground. Focus on your breathing to let your mind clear – experiment by filing your mind with a single exhale. You will literally feel more grounded and better able to engage in the meeting you are going into! Over time, this practice can help create the spaciousness that is required for strategic thinking.

Deepen Your Practice
The next time you find yourself breathing fast and high in your chest, take a moment to slow your breathing down. Breathe deeply from just below your belly button. You want your exhales to be longer than your inhales. You may find that relaxing your body out of the state of anxiety may also affect the anxiety in your mind. This will allow you to respond (or not) rather than just react.


(Can't find days 5/6, whoops)


Day 7: Spaciousness is Essential for Self-Care
On our first day, we introduced spaciousness as a breath, an interval, or a brief pause from our daily work. Can you remember why spaciousness is essential for self-care?

If you answered something like: “because it allows you to think creatively to imagine new possibilities for greater impact and to be sustainable in the long haul?” You got that right!

Poetry is an amazing tool for helping to cultivate spaciousness and unlock our creative side. And the poem “Fire” reminds us of how important spaciousness is.

Today's Challenge
Read “Fire” out loud to yourself (or with others who might be taking this challenge with you).

Deepen Your Practice
Let’s get creative. Pick one line from the poem and -- using your selection as the first line -- write your own 5-line poem. Give yourself only 5 minutes to do this and write whatever comes to mind. Don’t overthink it! Set the timer, let it flow and see what’s in there, waiting to come out.

Day 8: Connecting to Others
Have you done a quick check-in with your people today? Creating space to connect with others is another form of self-care! By investing the time in seeing each other’s humanity (and in being seen), we build relationship and trust. And that is the foundation for a powerful movement for social change.

Today's Challenge
At one of your meetings, instead of going straight into the agenda, do a short check-in with folks first. Try these prompts or create one of your own:
One thing I do to take care of myself is…
Tell a story about a recent time you felt powerful. How did it feel in your body?
What are you going to do after we end violence against girls and women?

How did starting by connecting as human beings affect your experience? Did you learn anything new about your colleagues? Appreciate them differently? Did the tone of the meeting shift?

Deepen Your Practice
Want to connect more deeply with your colleagues? Try out our love notes toolkit.


Day 9: Go Pee -- Join the Self-Care Revolution!
An advocate we love gave us permission to share her self-care confession:
"I used to hold my pee for hours at a time to work longer without taking a break. When I finally did hurry down the hall to the bathroom, I would unbuckle and unzip my pants along the way to 'save time.' Even after several embarrassing encounters with unsuspecting passersby, I kept it up in service of getting more done."
We are happy to report that she has replaced that habit with the revolutionary practice of making time to pee (and is now keeping it zipped).
For those of us scheduling back to back meetings with no spaciousness for thinking, much less other critical bodily functions, not having to pee can seem like a great convenience. Of course, what it tells us is that you are not hydrating sufficiently and your body is not getting what it needs to function at its peak performance.
Your mind and body are intimately connected. Think of it this way: If your bladder isn’t charging on all cylinders, neither is your mind.

Today's Challenge
Note how many times you go to the bathroom. If you’re not going at least once in a 3-4 hour block, drink more water!
Psst. If you are proudly peeing due to the amount of caffeine you are drinking, this is your friendly reminder that coffee doesn’t count as water. Try to replace at least one of those split-shot americanos or double soy lattes with a nice, refreshing cup of H2O.

Deepen Your Practice
Check out the color of your pee before you flush: the lighter, the better.
Yeah. We went there.

(Missing some more, damn)

Day 18: Make the Time and Space to Think Big
Sometimes in our daily work routine, we get so caught up in the never-ending tasks at hand that we don’t have the spaciousness to step back and think big; to reflect on the world we are trying to create. To be a powerful movement for social change, we need to have a clear vision of where we are trying to get TO in order to develop strategies for how to get there.


Today's Challenge
Actively schedule a big chunk of time to get your best big picture thinking. Start with 30-60 minutes to think about the world you are trying to create and how your current work drives toward that purpose --and note where it doesn't! You might find opportunities to be your most impactful by eliminating projects that don't serve your purpose!


Deepen Your Practice
Do this activity with your colleagues and share what your powerful visions entail!

Days 19 & 20: Connection between Mind, Body, and Spirit
Science tells us that it takes 21 days to break a habit and we are well on our way! By now, we hope you’ve learned that your mind, body, and spirit are beautifully interconnected.This poem, shared with us by faculty member Norma Wong, demonstrates what it means for YOU to be connected to your mind, body, and spirit.

Our mind, body, and spirit are “hard-wired”
together; each impacts the other
When one part is tired or depleted,
all parts are tired and depleted
By working on and restoring one part,
all parts benefit


Today's Challenge
Remember that old adage that smiling and laughing can instantly make you feel better and happier? Share a video, gif, meme, or photo that made you smile.

Deepen Your Practice
Notice whether caring for your physical self has benefited or improved your mental and spiritual self. Share with us.


Day 21: Put Your Oxygen Mask On First!
Every time we board a plane, flight attendants tell us we must put on our own oxygen mask before attending to anyone around us who might require assistance. We know that we can’t reliably show up for others if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. The same applies in this work. While we may be able to keep driving forward by sheer force of will without practicing self-care, we are simply not bringing our most powerful selves to the effort. To stay in this for the long haul, stay open to possibilities, cultivate our creativity and have the greatest impact possible, we need to take care of our most essential resource: ourselves.

At the end of these 21 days, this is a good time to remind ourselves: self-care is not something we do when we are beyond depleted. That's called recovery. Self-care for impact needs to be in every moment. In the breathing, hydration, spaciousness, and more that we must cultivate every single day.


Today's Challenge
Read this piece about the ripple effect out loud. Think about the people in your family, community, and beyond that you could affect by being a more impactful you through self-care. Reflect on what this looks and feels like to you.

Also, super important for my own self care is having good boundaries in a variety of ways. I find this helpful:
blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2016/06/quotes-healthy-boundaries/

I dug deep and found all the days here:
www.movetoendviolence.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Resources-Packet-12.22.15.pdf

Thank you!! It was late and my intention was to find it this morning to post.

[orangeblossom]

I like to do various craft projects and that generally relaxes me, unless I run into an issue.  I'm looking at you Silhouette Machines!.

I've recently decided to start showering at night, as I found it relaxes me before going to bed.

Cooking for other people makes me feel good.  Plus, it's a good way to try new things out, because DH is so/so on trying new things.  Hell, I like just looking through cookbooks and online for recipes, even if I have no intention of doing them.

Exercise wise, I do walk the dog twice/day, but I need to be consistent with doing exercise outside of that.  I really the walking videos by Leslie Sansone, and when I'm not being lazy try to do one of those a day.  I also like pilates, so I'd like to start doing my old school Winsor Pilates videos more.

In general, my biggest thing with lack of self-care, is going along for the get along with some things I probably shouldn't, but with school, I just don't have the emotional bandwidth for the BS that comes with flipping the script.

[raangoli]

I need to focus on my mental health. I had to quit my therapist sessions after I went back to work because I could not fit it in my schedule. I've tried to implement the things I learned along the way over my years in therapy, but PPD/PPA/PTSD is a different experience and it's hard.

I've tried to make time for the gym and get in walks when I can.

I've been trying to dip my toe into the Asian beauty routine from the mega thread on the makeup board. But one of the products I tried dried my under eye and so I have to figure out how to fix that.

I really need to find a hobby other than being on my phone or coming here to waste time. Maybe I will go back to reading.

[borinquen57]

Sept 11, 2016 8:01:38 GMT -5 @natariru said:

I need to get better at this. I haven't figured out balancing 2 children, going back to work, somewhat maintaining a home, & running an Etsy business. I'm burnt out. I probably need to drop something but I'm fucking stubborn.

- I'm a member at Hand & Stone and get monthly massages.
- I'm needlepointing Xmas stockings for my boys and it has helped my anxiety/panic attacks more than anything else I've tried. They probably won't be done until the boys are in their 30s but whatever.
- I recognize when I need alone time and am vocal & unapologetic about it to my H.
- Girls nights

I need to get some physical activity in. Even if it's a walk. I used to spin regularly before I had S (fucking 4 years ago) and I miss it.

I also need to sleep more. And put my phone down.

It's hard with kids, especially when they're still so little. I felt like I was drowning for a while but it got better after E turned one, plus I'm not a huge fan of 0-12 months. She's almost 20 months now and it is so much easier because she's more predictable.

[orangeblossom]

Sept 11, 2016 12:51:53 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Sept 11, 2016 12:08:15 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

I like to do various craft projects and that generally relaxes me, unless I run into an issue.  I'm looking at you Silhouette Machines!.

I've recently decided to start showering at night, as I found it relaxes me before going to bed.

Cooking for other people makes me feel good.  Plus, it's a good way to try new things out, because DH is so/so on trying new things.  Hell, I like just looking through cookbooks and online for recipes, even if I have no intention of doing them.

Exercise wise, I do walk the dog twice/day, but I need to be consistent with doing exercise outside of that.  I really the walking videos by Leslie Sansone, and when I'm not being lazy try to do one of those a day.  I also like pilates, so I'd like to start doing my old school Winsor Pilates videos more.

In general, my biggest thing with lack of self-care, is going along for the get along with some things I probably shouldn't, but with school, I just don't have the emotional bandwidth for the BS that comes with flipping the script.

What's going on w your Silhouette? Mine has given me some trouble too.

I have a Cameo and a KNK Zing Air which is a far superior machine. It's not as user friendly but that thing can cut faster, deeper, & more intricately than my Cameo ever did even straight out of the box.

Probably it's user error most of the time, but for awhile recently any time I tried to use an image from my library the program would shut off. Oh, I forgot, I can never get the Pixscan to work right.

I have a curio, but haven't used it as much as I thought I would. I plan to start though.

[EnchantedSoul]

Sept 10, 2016 19:38:42 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

I have been seeing a therapist and it is helping me sort through some longstanding issues.

I get my hair done every other week, sometimes every week if I feel like it. I get pedicures every three weeks or so.

Also, for me to stay sane and balanced, I need to be doing something creative (my regular date pointed out that I am happiest when teaching and creatively engaged, a connection I hadn't made) so I try to take an acting class or write fiction or sing with the band -- something that feeds my soul as often as I can.

Come hang with us on the NaNoWriMo board (on Book Club board). It's damn near a dead board but I keep trying :-P

[EnchantedSoul]

I'm low on the self-care totem pole in regards to my physical appearance. I have 4 kids and my oldest son has sports 6/7 days. I rock a running shirt, yoga pants and a ponytail everyday.

I'm much more concerned about finding inner peace. I have anxiety and have been toying with some yoga and meditation. My go-to's are writing and running though. I was struggling a few weeks ago and I painted my nails. It had been YEARS but I instantly felt better. So then I flat ironed my hair and thought I was the shiznit. Lol

[sfy]

Sept 11, 2016 13:48:40 GMT -5 cubed said:

I have zero self-care right now and it's making me struggle. My weight kept going up no matter what I did this summer, and a doctor told me I need more sleep to fix that. DS2 is 18 months and still does not sleep through the night. DH tries to help and switch nights but in reality, I deal with lack of sleep better than him so I still take on that burden. I'm not going to lie, 18 months of little sleep is wearing me down. Until I get through this stage I am in a haze.

It's so much harder when you have young children, but I hope you will stop taking on so much of the burden for your DH. He's a big boy, he will inevitably adapt to less sleep, just as you have. It's a good thing for all of you if you allow yourself to reclaim some much needed sleep. Not sleeping properly for that long a period can shave time off your life. You have to get some rest.

[gazpacho]

I was back on track today--walked 4 miles. Hopefully, I will be able to infuse more running in the next couple weeks. It was a good workout and I was able to just tune-out the world.

[childofhiphop]

I was really good at self care for a big minute. I lost 15% of my body weight by getting my sugar under control and swimming.

Then... my OxyContin addicted mother who has turned into a completely mean, ALWAYS negative and crazy lady had to move in because she blew through the bad hip settlement and can't afford to be on her own and none of my FOUR other sisters have the circumstance to take her in. We had to move up our two year renovation schedule to accommodate her having a place. The debt has skyrocketed and I'm stressed. Like I can't think straight. She wonders why I sit in the car 5-10 minutes before coming the house every day when I get home from work.

I started posting more but I need to disconnect more now (even from here) to just breathe.

I'm a planner so I'm using my 6 weeks post knee surgery downtime to regroup and get back to my daily bible reading, fiction/creative reading, get my house back in order and cooking (which will also help with the finances).

[kicks]

I'm pretty good at self care. I don't have kids and I have a supportive partner who lets me do whatever I want while cooking and cleaning for me when he's in town. So I have it pretty good in that sense.

I oscillate between wanting to be fabulous and save the world with volunteering, hobbies, working out, etc and being lazy as fuck (shout out to sfy!)

The hardest thing for me is the fact that I'm supposed to always be studying and at the end of the day I don't feel like reading another damn article or looking up the mechanism of action of another damn drug. So I feel somewhat guilty when I do fun shit instead of studying, but I quickly get over it lol

I made a list for fall and I'm focusing on the following:
Swimming - lessons with personal trainer
French class - starts next week
Volunteering/diversity - on a committee at work and talking to minority students at my med school
Soccer - 1 to 2 games per week
Gym - we joined a gym that's too damn expensive to not go to, so I'm trying to get there 3 days per week

[thejackpot]

childofhiphop that sounds like so much, be gentle to yourself. I hope you are able to steal some peaceful moments
@kick nice list, very diverse too!
cubed I feel you on the no sleep. My kids are awful sleepers. I tell myself that when they are teens I am paying them back. Accept the help and get some rest.

[childofhiphop]

Sept 11, 2016 17:55:28 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Sept 11, 2016 17:30:00 GMT -5 childofhiphop said:

I was really good at self care for a big minute. I lost 15% of my body weight by getting my sugar under control and swimming.

Then... my OxyContin addicted mother who has turned into a completely mean, ALWAYS negative and crazy lady had to move in because she blew through the bad hip settlement and can't afford to be on her own and none of my FOUR other sisters have the circumstance to take her in. We had to move up our two year renovation schedule to accommodate her having a place. The debt has skyrocketed and I'm stressed. Like I can't think straight. She wonders why I sit in the car 5-10 minutes before coming the house every day when I get home from work.

I started posting more but I need to disconnect more now (even from here) to just breathe.

I'm a planner so I'm using my 6 weeks post knee surgery downtime to regroup and get back to my daily bible reading, fiction/creative reading, get my house back in order and cooking (which will also help with the finances).

((hugs)) to you too. You don't have to do it all, you can't save the world. Remember that. 

Hugs are appreciated.

My daily dilemma is an internal struggle to be selfish. "She IS your mother." And I always end up with so what can I do? I could never in life turn my back on my Mom - especially knowing the struggles she's gone through and the imperfections she lives with now.

[kicks]

Also much love to those who are having difficulties right now. I know it's not easy wearing multiple hats, all the while trying to be a strong and confident woman of color. Taking care of our selves is so important.

[starlily]

These last two months of family drama with my brother/SIL/mom have killed me. I got so far off task in terms of self care.

Things I need to do:
- cut out processed foods and excess starches
- get back into a 4-5 day/week workout plan
- get back into a nightly skincare routine
- drink more water
- go to bed earlier
- start taking vitamin d and omega 3 supplements again
- purge my closet and only keep/buy what makes me feel good NOW regardless of the size on the tag
- start wearing my heels again
- read more. Books not boards.

What I need to do but don't know how best to handle:
- dealing with anxiety
- dealing with personalities at work

[brandnewday]

Currently I'm in a really good, calm place. Which feels kind of strange.

I finished school and found an amazing job. Last year was one of my harder years. I went from losing my job, to worrying about money each week, to finals, then the personal struggle of finding a job. It was a long and very hard process for me. Now that I'm finished for school for now, going back next year for grad school, I have some calmness in my life. Right now I'm trying to enjoy things being slower. That is hard for me because I'm used to having my life lived nearly at max capacity. No kids for me, so that helps. During the stressful last year, I did gain some weight. Nothing too crazy, and I'm not too stressed about it. Most people can't tell, and I'm currently working on getting back to my zone.

For self care, what I've been doing lately:

Health and Fitness:
- Currently doing the Whole 30 - day 12
- Doing meal prep and cooking more. I'm not an amazing cook by any means. Most times it comes out edible but nowhere near spectacular. I have been working on doing better so I don't eat out as often.
- Working out 4x week - Helps that the gym is next door to my job.

Mind and Spirit:
- Volunteering at church with kids has been amazing. While I don't have kids, and don't like a lot of them in general, the ones I get to work with a few times a month are amazing. One came up to me yesterday and told me that they loved when I'm there. Melted my heart a bit. Plus the little hugs, and the pictures they draw me. I'm very thankful for them.
- I need to pray more. I follow one woman on Facebook that does daily prayers. Many of those prayers got me through the darkest parts of last year.
- I might go back to therapy. I switched insurance with my new job, and my old therapist is no longer in network.

Creative and Fun:
- Every week I paint my nails. It forces me to sit still and just be. I can't really move much or do a lot of errands or home tasks. I have to sit still for an hour, which I normally stretch to 1.5 hours.
- I have been slowly making improvements and updates to our home decor. New bedding, new shower curtain, etc. I am on the lookout for a few new things like throw pillows for the living room. I try to decorate our house to show the combined personalities of H and me.
- Purging and list making. I have a lot of clothes, as many of you know. I'm trying to re-focus my purchases on things that suit my life working. I made lists of things I own so that I'm not just buying new things to buy them. I have a running list of things on my phone that are purchases that I've wanted to add to my closet. That way when I come across them IRL, I can buy them knowing I've been looking for that particular thing.
- I'm also trying to reinvent some of my style. Mostly my social, non-work style. I like dressing trendier when it comes to weekend wear.
- Catching up on shows. I just did not have time to watch a lot of TV when in school and working FT.
- I need to do more artwork. I've actually been slacking in this area. I have had a few more pieces in shows lately. It really hasn't been recent work though. I also want to go out and take more photographs.
- Getting out to plays and shows more. We have a lot of theaters in my area, and I never took as much advantage as I am now. I'm buying tickets left and right.
- Travel. We have plans to travel every few months. I also want to meet up with @natariru and a few others very soon.

[NitaX]

My self-care routine is decent:
Mondays - Running!
Tuesdays (when I can) - Zumba Class
Wednesday - Church (Bible Study is good for the soul)
Thursday - Running!
Friday - Chill with the kiddos
Saturday - Zumba
Sunday - Church

I was thinking yesterday that I need to resume my 1st Sunday Fellowship with my church members/friends. We kinda fell off this year, but we would usually do a 1st Sunday Fellowship where everyone came over for early dinner.

The other thing I do for self-care is a I visit a counselor monthly. My job has been giving me the blues for the better part of 2 years. I don't like my expanded role, and I greatly dislike being immersed in continuous chaos. From my counseling session, my exercise had fallen off, so my counselor suggested that I get back active.

I want to make more time for reading, because I feel like I never have enough time for it. I'm also going to make sure I get out of the office at lunch because I feel trapped. Sigh.