Jermys, I hope this doesn't come off like I'm trying to compare our situations, because I know I have no real grasp on the fears you're experiencing, but I am struggling with the same type of shit with my Facebook friends. They're so eager to like and comment on photos of DD, but the subject matter gets even slightly uncomfortable and it's met with radio silence from all but the same handful each time. I said this in the randoms thread the other day, but in a group I'm in someone actually said we should not have discussions about race/white privilege/fragility because it won't make a difference to anyone in there and it is not the place for it. I know it's not about me and my feelings, but I am still gobsmacked, days later. And I know it's not enough to just share articles and speak up, I know I need to be acting too and I am working on that, but Jesus Christ the unwillingness for the people in my Feed to even acknowledge anything that's going on is infuriating.
Jermys , I hope this doesn't come off like I'm trying to compare our situations, because I know I have no real grasp on the fears you're experiencing, but I am struggling with the same type of shit with my Facebook friends. They're so eager to like and comment on photos of DD, but the subject matter gets even slightly uncomfortable and it's met with radio silence from all but the same handful each time. I said this in the randoms thread the other day, but in a group I'm in someone actually said we should not have discussions about race/white privilege/fragility because it won't make a difference to anyone in there and it is not the place for it. I know it's not about me and my feelings, but I am still gobsmacked, days later. And I know it's not enough to just share articles and speak up, I know I need to be acting too and I am working on that, but Jesus Christ the unwillingness for the people in my Feed to even acknowledge anything that's going on is infuriating.
Yep. I post a picture or food or of my dog and get comments and likes. Post a serious article or comment and crickets. As far as here? I just got up and came in looking for the threads, and assumed they would be on WOC or CEP. Y'all are right, they should be here, too.
I'm growing older but not up. My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck, let the winds of time blow over my head. I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.
I feel like that in real life. Like, it's the same few people on my racial injustice posts on Facebook. But then I post something about my kids and the likes and comments are rolling in like crazy. I'm fucking tired. Do they not realize that the kids they proclaim to love have a fucking target on their backs? And it's only getting bigger as they age? My son is more likely to be murdered because his skin has more melanin. My daughter is more likely to be sexually assaulted because her skin is brown. I was sick dropping Freddie off at school yesterday because I'm seriously depressed and I'm scared that one day he'll leave my house and the next time I see him will be identifying his body. And I only have a few years before people see him as a threat worthy of death. And white people as a whole just go on with their days and keep their mouths shut. And I get it, because I did that too, and I'm ashamed of that, but goddammit, even if you don't know what to say, post one article without commentary. Send a check to BLM or the NAACP or SPLC. Just do something.
Stories from you and my other friends raising black children are really what have pushed me to be more vocal on facebook. I'm able to tell my daughter that if she is lost or in trouble, she can try to find a police officer. I never appreciated that that was a privilege.
@stilljustash - I am at a point where I don't know if it's better to speak or not speak. I don't want my words to sound like lip service, but the silence is deafening as well. The last thing I want to do is cause you anymore pain.
This is where I am.
eta: I'm horrified and feel helpless about this all. I'm sorry.
This is where I am. I am very vocal in real life and on fb but haven't posted on here. I know I don't know what to say so I just don't say anything here and that is wrong. I am so sorry and will do better going forward.
Post by textbookcase on Sept 21, 2016 10:27:58 GMT -5
Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm not on a lot these days and I came here this morning looking for a post about it, too. I can't believe this is the world we live in in 2016.
I've been reading the CEP threads but haven't been able to put together a decent/coherent post. I'm really at a loss for words.
DH is in LEO and it's been wonderful for him and our family but I keep getting more and more pissed off and angry with LEO as a whole at the same time. It angers me that people who have taken an oath to protect others - no matter who they are, what they look, or where they were standing for god sake - are abusing their position, and even worse, some choose this profession because they know that once they have a badge they can assert power over others. It angers me to continue to hear from other LEO spouses that it's always the victims fault, they should have just listened, they were probably doing something wrong anyway, etc. And on a very selfish level, it angers me because DH is one of the good ones - he's expressed very similar sentiments as mine, has been lobbying for body cameras and policies for his dept, additional training, etc. - and he wants to help and he wants people to be able to trust him, but other people just keep fucking it up.
I'm sorry @stilljustash , and to the other WOC, if my silence has seemed like a lack of support. It is definitely not.
ETA: and I'm angry and saddened at the stories WOC have shared here about how carefully/strategically you have to raise your children because of the world we live in. I feel like a child saying "it's not fair", but it's not and I wish I could do something.
ETA2: and what I was afraid of, my post seems all about me.
There is a 6 pager on Miso's emmy night, 18 pager on pokemon and 5 pager on Jonbenet.
But more shootings don't merit an honorable mention?
I've mostly been sticking to the WOC board, but peaked in over here and not gonna lie that Jon Benet post made me angry. I didn't read all the contents, but seeing its length and everyone's interest in her had me shaking my head. All I could think about are all the little brown kids who get killed and no one gives a damn about. Our lives simply don't matter and that is played out on a daily basis in a variety of ways.
@stilljustash - I am at a point where I don't know if it's better to speak or not speak. I don't want my words to sound like lip service, but the silence is deafening as well. The last thing I want to do is cause you anymore pain.
Same. I can't think of a thing to say that doesn't sound self-congratulatory or negative in some other way, but I'm sorry that it comes off like I don't care.
I'm surprised there hasn't been a post here, because I've been blowing up my FB feed about why aren't officers ever charged with murder? Which is very unlike me to post, but I'm outraged.
However, here, I don't want to look like I'm engaging in "theater" as that one article addressed, so I'm more careful what I post here as to not seem disrespectful. I'm not sure what to do here.
This is pretty much where I'm at in all of this. I'm still relatively new to these forums - I primarily visit this area of the boards and MMM. I read more than I actually post because I'm at work then chasing the toddler around as soon as I get home. I've seen some of the bs that has been going on though and I'm really just at a loss for words - I did not realize that this was an ongoing problem here. I can assure you that I do not agree with what has been going on, but I haven't said anything (here) because I didn't want it to seem like I'm just paying lip service either.
As far as the shootings, I spent a majority of my day yesterday arguing with idiots on fb about why this shit is just NOT OKAY. Actually, it seems like I'm doing this on an almost daily basis now on there since this is happening on a daily basis at this point. It's really infuriating when these people turn around and say shit 'well if he had just complied' or some other thinly veiled racist drivel. No. Just no.
Post by themysteriouswife on Sept 21, 2016 10:57:02 GMT -5
You are right. We should have posted. I could make an excuse on why, but there isn't one. I've posted on CEP, but not here. We should be talking about.
Post by mrsukyankee on Sept 21, 2016 11:02:35 GMT -5
I'm another who posts on CEP about this stuff and not on here. I'm sorry. I'm not at a loss for words, I'm angry - for my friends who have to worry about their husbands and kid just being a POC and being shot, for my white friends for not getting it or being obstructive, for not always knowing what to do next (though I did read the Luvie post as I follow her on FB).
And people, shut up with your examples of how you've been talking about this on FB and other forums.
Why? I'm trying to say it isn't lost on me, I'm outraged by it enough to post elsewhere, but I'm sensitive to the WOC on this board and what they have been asking of me, so I haven't posted here.
I apologize if it was a typo. On second look that seems likely.
But with the way this board has been, I just don't think this is the place for me to discuss real topics. Because they aren't all typos. And as I said earlier, I'm on a hair trigger of anger over the real shit going on.
I apologize if it was a typo. On second look that seems likely.
But they way this board has been, I just don't think this is the place for me to discuss real topics. Because they aren't all typos. And as I said earlier, I'm on a hair trigger of anger over the real shit going on.
Bye?
No. I know your 3 posts make you think you are relevant but you're not. Sonrisa is relevant and has a point.
Frankly, I'm not interested in having real conversations on this board right now. I'll go to CEP, other sources or people I know IRL.
This is where I am. If I want to read hand-wringing posts about how sad and helpless white women feel, I have the entirety of the internet to look at. CEP generally has more nuanced and thoughtful discussion. The race/serious discussions on ML often just feel like lip-service and are filled with self-congratulatory posts. What is happening to POC across the nation is disgusting. I keep thinking - there HAS to be something we can do about this. But what? I am watching "The People v. OJ Simpson" right now and I am reminded how little progress has been made. These shootings are Rodney King over and over again, but amplified because lives are being lost.
I could talk about how sad I am, how disgusted I am, how worried I am for my nephew who has brown skin...but how I feel is irrelevant. My actions need to speak louder than my words. I try to live by that mantra, even though it feels like not enough.
And people, shut up with your examples of how you've been talking about this on FB and other forums.
Why? I'm trying to say it isn't lost on me, I'm outraged by it enough to post elsewhere, but I'm sensitive to the WOC on this board and what they have been asking of me, so I haven't posted here.
I don't understand your point.
I'm guessing the only place where it does matter is this forum. *shrug*
Honestly, my reasoning for being silent isn't because I don't care, but it's because after arguing with people all day long about this stuff on social media, I'm just done at the end of the day. Anyway, for those that actually care, just know that I am not silent elsewhere.
I'm bowing out of this thread now because I said what I had to say.
Post by partiallysunny on Sept 21, 2016 11:56:24 GMT -5
If you're able to say "I go to CEP for real topics", please check your privilege.
WOC/POC don't have the luxury to ignore serious topics about race. To keep the discussions in one little tidy corner of their lives only to be acknowledged when they feel like it. They live the reality of what's happening in our society every day.