Post by snipsnsnails on Sept 21, 2016 12:01:07 GMT -5
I'm sorry, Ash. 😞
I read this yesterday as I was reading accounts of the shooting of Terence Crutcher. And I had to keep reading it over and over. The painful ludicrousness of this sentence. An investigation? Your answer to your investigation is here. Hands in the air. Back to the officers. Yes, yes, yes, he was violated. Terence Crutcher matters. 💔
For the people saying they go to CEP for the news/serious discussions, or how they're having these conversations and posting articles on FB, why not bring them here too? Not in a "LOOK WHAT I DID!" way, but as a way to start a dialogue. Keep the discussion going, disseminating information.
Don't compartmentalize and keep these discussions in one little area of your life. They should be pervasive throughout.
And people, shut up with your examples of how you've been talking about this on FB and other forums.
Why? I'm trying to say it isn't lost on me, I'm outraged by it enough to post elsewhere, but I'm sensitive to the WOC on this board and what they have been asking of me, so I haven't posted here.
I don't understand your point.
Because when we post about racism and then talk about how we are responding to it, it looks like we are seeking back pats for calling out racism.
Now, of course we should call out racism. But we don't need to run back here and say, "look, I called out racism!" We are all guilty of doing this (and, in fact, I mentioned a lengthy FB post I wrote in another thread, so I'm not specifically calling you out), but there are no cookies for not being a racist.
Also, just posting about how we are mad and sad does nothing. We need to be doing more. We need to talk about ways of being active (not passive) activists.
The Luvvie Ajayi article posted in this thread has some great ideas.
YUP I was thinking the same thing about this board and the MM Moms board @stilljustash ,
ETA: I see there is kinda a thread about it on MM Moms.
I keep voyeuristically lurking on April 2012 just to see where they go with what happened last week. I'm floored by the number of people who are like "I haven't had a chance to read the whole threads but I'm worried we won't get our community back"
There are like...three 3-page threads. Who the hell can't take the time to read that?
Why? I'm trying to say it isn't lost on me, I'm outraged by it enough to post elsewhere, but I'm sensitive to the WOC on this board and what they have been asking of me, so I haven't posted here.
I don't understand your point.
Also, just posting about how we are mad and sad does nothing. We need to be doing more. We need to talk about ways of being active (not passive) activists. .
This. I'm tired of seeing "I'm so angry/sad/disappointed that xyz happened/was said". Don't tell us, that does nothing but seem like a "oh yeah me too" check mark. Do something about it. And then don't feel like you have to come tell us about it either.
Our threads about racism come off at seeking back pats because the majority are reactionary. I think if we were more proactive in initially the dialogue, it would be less navel gazing. Truly, we need to start taking ownership of what we can and not being passive supporters. That does nothing.
We have to realize that it's sort of a luxury to compartmentalize this issues away to another board, forum, etc. That's great if you use CEP, it's a fantastic resource and I've gotten a lot of knowledge there, but that can't be the only way.
Posted to Facebook. This article is great and so true. I hope the people that I have the power to dialogue with see this and reflect, and make a change.
Really, we should be angry. We should be hurt. We should be embarassed. We should feel compelled to make our friends feel safe, their children feel safe, for them to feel listened to and valued. We should be proactive. We can't sit on our hands about this and just hope change happens. We need to be a part of that.
Really, we should be angry. We should be hurt. We should be embarassed. We should feel compelled to make our friends feel safe, their children feel safe, for them to feel listened to and valued. We should be proactive. We can't sit on our hands about this and just hope change happens. We need to be a part of that.
I agree. This may sound hollow, but I am taking what I learn from POC both here and elsewhere online and having discussions with friends and family IRL. It's not comfortable, but fuck being comfortable. I think too many of us shy away from them because they don't want to rock the boat with family and friends. That's privilege. That has to stop.
If one thing gives me hope, it's that I've been talking to my employees, both millenials, about the systematic racism in America. They are angry about the injustice and they recognize their privilege and they want to speak up and act. We've had some in depth discussions and I believe that they and young men and women like them can help break the cycle.
I'm sorry if this is rambling, I took some migraine meds.
I feel like that in real life. Like, it's the same few people on my racial injustice posts on Facebook. But then I post something about my kids and the likes and comments are rolling in like crazy.
I am ordering my son a shirt that says 'my life matters' so maybe people will ask me about it instead of saying how cute he is.
I know he is fucking adorable, and he has maybe three more years of people saying that until they see him as scary.
Why? I'm trying to say it isn't lost on me, I'm outraged by it enough to post elsewhere, but I'm sensitive to the WOC on this board and what they have been asking of me, so I haven't posted here.
I don't understand your point.
Because when we post about racism and then talk about how we are responding to it, it looks like we are seeking back pats for calling out racism.
Now, of course we should call out racism. But we don't need to run back here and say, "look, I called out racism!" We are all guilty of doing this (and, in fact, I mentioned a lengthy FB post I wrote in another thread, so I'm not specifically calling you out), but there are no cookies for not being a racist.
Also, just posting about how we are mad and sad does nothing. We need to be doing more. We need to talk about ways of being active (not passive) activists.
The Luvvie Ajayi article posted in this thread has some great ideas.
So this goes to my post as to why I don't post. I'm trying to be respectful of the appearance of theater here and avoid doing exactly what you said.
But them I am told not to post what I do elsewhere (like calling out in laws who live in Tulsa for their lack of response, etc) too. I don't understand what to do in order to acknowledge this horrible ongoing culture we have. Even in this thread people cannot agree.
Its not disagreement in this thread about posting/not posting.
Posting empty lip service replies here about how things make you sad or angry, or I'm so sorry, or only reacting to issues is one thing.
Posting information, starting dialogues, being present more than just SAYING "I'm here and I'm listening" and mentioning other things you've said/done as a way to gain insight from others or share information or ask for help is different.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I gave her what for because ugh!" is just looking for attention.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I sent her this article I found (link) that has some great points we should all be mindful of." or "Do you you guys have some information I can use to help her see her racism?" Etc.
The difference is the focus of what you're posting. Is it about you or are you actually trying to gain knowledge/share information?
For the people saying they go to CEP for the news/serious discussions, or how they're having these conversations and posting articles on FB, why not bring them here too?
I did. For years. I've often found this board not talking about what seems to be the most interesting, important or relevant topic to me, so I'd bring it here because this was my "home" board. I got plenty of shit from some posters for being a debbie downer for doing so. But I stopped because it isn't a "home board" to me anymore.
If the board wants to have real discussions, more of the people complaining in here can start posting those threads.
Post by FastHands on Sept 21, 2016 13:49:04 GMT -5
My natural inclination is not to add to a sea of "this is bullshit and I'm mad/upset about it" because it seems hollow to me. But what I'm starting to appreciate is that, if my response DOES make some POC feel supported, it's an infinitesimally small effort on my part and is worth doing. I think I would rather support those who feel undervalued all the time than stay silent because that's the more comfortable thing to do. I think I try to avoid "ally theater," but probably end up overcompensating. Others are really hurt by our silence and see it as ignoring or not valuing their experience and how all of this bullshit impacts not just their heart and their fears but literally their safety and their lives. (And see, all of this feels navel-gazy, but I'm going with it.)
Its not disagreement in this thread about posting/not posting.
Posting empty lip service replies here about how things make you sad or angry, or I'm so sorry, or only reacting to issues is one thing.
Posting information, starting dialogues, being present more than just SAYING "I'm here and I'm listening" and mentioning other things you've said/done as a way to gain insight from others or share information or ask for help is different.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I gave her what for because ugh!" is just looking for attention.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I sent her this article I found (link) that has some great points we should all be mindful of." or "Do you you guys have some information I can use to help her see her racism?" Etc.
The difference is the focus of what you're posting. Is it about you or are you actually trying to gain knowledge/share information?
This is very helpful-thanks for taking the time to write out the response.
Its not disagreement in this thread about posting/not posting.
Posting empty lip service replies here about how things make you sad or angry, or I'm so sorry, or only reacting to issues is one thing.
Posting information, starting dialogues, being present more than just SAYING "I'm here and I'm listening" and mentioning other things you've said/done as a way to gain insight from others or share information or ask for help is different.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I gave her what for because ugh!" is just looking for attention.
Starting a post saying "My friend said racist comment 38585931 so I sent her this article I found (link) that has some great points we should all be mindful of." or "Do you you guys have some information I can use to help her see her racism?" Etc.
The difference is the focus of what you're posting. Is it about you or are you actually trying to gain knowledge/share information?
Quoting so this will be read and listened to again.
Post by mrsfarmer on Sept 21, 2016 17:26:37 GMT -5
I don't know what to post that sounds right. I'm starting to wonder if the media understands what is newsworthy and how to appropriately report it.
When I read what happened on the boards the last few weeks, I was appalled and knew no matter what I post, it can't start to be enough. I'm trying to start in my own community and teach my daughters by example.
I'm disgusted but not surprised that I made two Facebook pairs today - the Luvvie post earlier today and a quick work-related pic later. No shock that the work post is still getting likes and comments but not one like/reply/share of anything I've posted about this, or any other like info.
I did spend a while educating a navel gazer on a friend's post who insisted her white son was disadvantaged by his race, and that she should have "gotten knocked up by a black guy" so that her son could have equal opportunities in life. I am not in the mood for such nonsense today.
I'm sorry that we've been silent, I can only speak for myself when I say it wasn't intentional.
For me, ML has always been a place where I come to read stupid posts about celebrity crap, or ask for help shoe shopping. CE&P is where I go for more serious topics and news. I don't post much anywhere these days, the frauds and catfish left a bad taste in my mouth, but like A previous poster, I read almost every post on the CE board. On ML I just skim for entertainment. With the exception of very few of the old timers giving updates on their lives, I don't find anything of substance here these days, so I typically post nothing.
I'm sorry again for not being more vocal, it's not for lack of outrage, sympathy, sadness or disgust. I'm right there on all of this bullshit.
Lurker here - My silence is because I don't know what else to say anymore. I just stare at the screen. There's nothing I can say that will fix this injustice. There's nothing more I can do to make any of it right. I've mailed/emailed my representatives. I've supported my friends and stood with them during protests. I've openly talked to friends and family about their feelings and how we, as a society, can change things.
The problem is that I have NO CLUE what else I can do. I just....I just don't know.