Post by thebreakfastclub on Oct 24, 2016 14:49:41 GMT -5
I lasted less than 7 nights room sharing with DS. I just couldn't handle being with him all day and then having him in my room all night. No thanks.
I remember he slept through at 10 weeks, and my H and I didn't wake up until the baby did, at 5:30 am. I highly doubt my ability to notice newborn breathing patterns, lol.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Oct 24, 2016 14:53:13 GMT -5
Also as someone who spins percents for a living, I hate that they write -50% without quoting that the actual risk is 1/1000, or 0.1%. And if I got prenatal care, the baby is otherwise healthy, and no one smokes in my home...then my risk is even lower.
What was the study and why does sleeping in the room reduce the risk? Is just because the parents check on them more often?
The article annoyed me because it didn't give any specifics and I am curious of their findings, do you have any insight?
It has to do with moderating their breathing and heart rate. Babies feel/sense the parent(s) breathing and match it. It's thought that when they don't have that regulating heartbeat and breath sounds that babies don't always regulate well on their own. The more mature they become (i.e. 6 months, a year, so on), the less likely they are to stop self-regulating.
I already posted on CEP about this. I couldn't have lived with my children in my room with me for a year. I never would have slept. Ever. And while I'm all for science, science also shows that extreme sleep deprivation is tantamount to being under the influence of drugs or alcohol when it comes to things like driving. Sometimes that which is best in one scenario is not in another. And balancing these will be forever and ever the task of parenting.
Exactly each family has to decide what works for them. Pediatricians have to recommend the safest option because that's their job, to put the kid first, once the parent has the info they can balance the risks based on their own specific situation.
L slept in our room for six months, but I am not sure the next baby will. I'd really like to get him or her in their room/crib before they're really mobile, because I think that's the first place we screwed up big time with L and her sleeping - and considering she'll be three and still needs to sleep with me every night, we really did screw up the sleeping thing with her big time.
If I've learned anything from these boards over the years, its that you can't guilt trip/second guess yourself over not following "the rules" 100% all of the time because its just not possible!
I went unto this knowing that the only thing I can predict about my baby is that he's going to be unpredictable, and to try not to assume we'll definitely do XYZ every time.
So we're just going to end up doing what WE can manage while clinging to sanity and trying to be as safe about it as possible.
If I've learned anything from these boards over the years, its that you can't guilt trip/second guess yourself over not following "the rules" 100% all of the time because its just not possible!
I went unto this knowing that the only thing I can predict about my baby is that he's going to be unpredictable, and to try not to assume we'll definitely do XYZ every time.
So we're just going to end up doing what WE can manage while clinging to sanity and trying to be as safe about it as possible.
They recommend sleeping in the same room because science has shown it reduces the occurrence of SIDS, it's based on best practices given the information we have from the current studies. Please don't argue with science I don't have time for that discussion today
Also this is actually a reduction in the time frame, previously it was encouraged for a year, this gives a clearer recommendation and actually reduces it to 6 months recommended 12 months encouraged.
I get that it's science. I understand why it's recommended. But I just have to say that these people have never slept in the same room as my baby. Hell to the no. We lasted 6 weeks before we kicked him out of our room.
But I think the idea is that baby and parents sleep worse. that sounds bad, but I mean the baby wakes up more so super deep sleep is prevented. mom wakes up more so she checks on baby more. I mean it sucks, but I think they recognize the sleep sucks.
I get that it's science. I understand why it's recommended. But I just have to say that these people have never slept in the same room as my baby. Hell to the no. We lasted 6 weeks before we kicked him out of our room.
But I think the idea is that baby and parents sleep worse. that sounds bad, but I mean the baby wakes up more so super deep sleep is prevented. mom wakes up more so she checks on baby more. I mean it sucks, but I think they recognize the sleep sucks.
I think baby also matches breathing to mom
They don't recommend it because of interrupted sleep. They recommend it because of the breathing thing, like you mentioned. Babies and parents do sleep through the night together. Some babies are quiet sleepers and others are loud. All babies are different in that regard. The recommendations don't come from the parents waking frequently and checking on the baby. That's not the scientific rationale for the recommendation.
I already posted on CEP about this. I couldn't have lived with my children in my room with me for a year. I never would have slept. Ever. And while I'm all for science, science also shows that extreme sleep deprivation is tantamount to being under the influence of drugs or alcohol when it comes to things like driving. Sometimes that which is best in one scenario is not in another. And balancing these will be forever and ever the task of parenting.
Exactly each family has to decide what works for them. Pediatricians have to recommend the safest option because that's their job, to put the kid first, once the parent has the info they can balance the risks based on their own specific situation.
Sure. Except these recommendations lead to things like hospitals without nurseries to give new mothers a break. And shaming. And endless guilt. And lack of nuance.
Your own earlier responses in this thread had me bristley as all hell, and not only do I not have a newborn now, I never will again.
they know but they are obligated to recommend best practices which is to room share. It sucks but it is safest so they recommend it to protect babies. Maybe parents won't do 6 months but if they suck it up and do 4 months (like I did) that's still a big improvement. By recommending the best option more parents will hopefully attempt to get there which will help.
I know. I'm honestly kidding around. There's just no way I would last 6 months, or even 4. Much as I would like to and I know that it is safer, my mental health and sanity just couldn't withstand it.
Yup. Everyone in my family slept better once the babies were in the nursery.
My oldest slept in the same room for us for 2 weeks, we didn't even let the youngest stay in here for a week.
Post by VeryViolet on Oct 24, 2016 19:30:37 GMT -5
This feels like the appropriate place for my cosleeping confession. I would still have DS (3yo) sleeping with me if I had my sad codependent way. Dh made me give him the boot to his own room at 5 months. He slept better, dh slept better and I was a wreck for a good six weeks. #alreadysavingfortherapy
No kidding. I just now got to the point that I could sleep without him. He moved out at 4.5 mos and sleeps in his own crib now. I feel guilty all over again.
Well, some things are safer than others, so they should recommend them. As a parent you can never ever ever get it perfectly right but they still make recommendations and I'm so glad, for example, they recommend putting the baby in your bed if you're drowsy vs a couch because while they're both suffocation risks, couches are so much more dangerous but the old advice of never bedshare meant so many of my friends "refused" to bedshare from fear of the danger but passed out on a couch or recliner many times, which is a much more dangerous sleeping situation. And I'm not trying to lecture at you, wambam . I'm just putting my thoughts down because mom hormones race through me and make me feel feelings about it.
No, it's fine. I don't have kids and may never have a newborn, so it's sort of moot with me. Also, I'm a natural rule follower so I would probably be a nutter if I did have kids.
Oddly enough I'm the opposite and the same is true for me. I am naturally anti rule, lol and I tend to challenge authority and convention. Suddenly I had this baby and all these finite rules started popping up wrt sleeping, eating, car seats blah blah. I became that crazy hippy that suddenly conforms and starts looking for proper influences since obviously all the degenerates around me obviously didn't give a shit. The crazy doesn't discriminate, is what I'm saying.
We kicked DS out of our room at 4.5 months. It was weird the first night and then freaking amazing to have our space back. No way would I last a year with him in our room.
Exactly each family has to decide what works for them. Pediatricians have to recommend the safest option because that's their job, to put the kid first, once the parent has the info they can balance the risks based on  their own specific situation.
Sure. Except these recommendations lead to things like hospitals without nurseries to give new mothers a break. And shaming. And endless guilt. And lack of nuance.
Your own earlier responses in this thread had me bristley as all hell, and not only do I not have a newborn now, I never will again.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
What makes me most pissed is that they make these recommendations without regard to the actual challenges of actual parents of actual newborns. And they chicken out on doing any sort of societal recommendations (namely parental leave) that would not only make these things more realistic but also in their own right provide additional SCIENCE SUPPORTED benefits (attachment anyone?)
And I am normally a fan of the AAP but they are full of shit w/r/t newborn care.
Vaccinations on schedule? Totally realistic for American parents. Rear face until age 2? Absolutely doable for the overwhelming majority of American parents. Hold your baby all day except for when they are in a sterile flat box or in supervised tummy time and also breastfeed on demand around the clock no matter what? FUCK YOU.
Sure. Except these recommendations lead to things like hospitals without nurseries to give new mothers a break. And shaming. And endless guilt. And lack of nuance.
Your own earlier responses in this thread had me bristley as all hell, and not only do I not have a newborn now, I never will again.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
What makes me most pissed is that they make these recommendations without regard to the actual challenges of actual parents of actual newborns. And they chicken out on doing any sort of societal recommendations (namely parental leave) that would not only make these things more realistic but also in their own right provide additional SCIENCE SUPPORTED benefits (attachment anyone?)
And I am normally a fan of the AAP but they are full of shit w/r/t newborn care.
Vaccinations on schedule? Totally realistic for American parents. Rear face until age 2? Absolutely doable for the overwhelming majority of American parents. Hold your baby all day except for when they are in a sterile flat box or in supervised tummy time and also breastfeed on demand around the clock no matter what? FUCK YOU.
this level of outrage is silly. They're recommendations, and are presented as such.
What makes me most pissed is that they make these recommendations without regard to the actual challenges of actual parents of actual newborns. And they chicken out on doing any sort of societal recommendations (namely parental leave) that would not only make these things more realistic but also in their own right provide additional SCIENCE SUPPORTED benefits (attachment anyone?)
And I am normally a fan of the AAP but they are full of shit w/r/t newborn care.
Vaccinations on schedule? Totally realistic for American parents. Rear face until age 2? Absolutely doable for the overwhelming majority of American parents. Hold your baby all day except for when they are in a sterile flat box or in supervised tummy time and also breastfeed on demand around the clock no matter what? FUCK YOU.
this level of outrage is silly. They're recommendations, and are presented as such.
Probably worth noting that I am 37 weeks pregnant.
this level of outrage is silly. They're recommendations, and are presented as such.
Probably worth noting that I am 37 weeks pregnant.
lol. Rage on, my friend. You're supposed to be angry at a friendly hello at this point.
Just don't do the guilty, sad sack mom schtick. That's the worst, and barely believable at this point. Do you hear me, all of you mommy shaming victims? I'm not buying your stories!
Probably worth noting that I am 37 weeks pregnant.
lol. Rage on, my friend. You're supposed to be angry at a friendly hello at this point.
Just don't do the guilty, sad sack mom schtick. That's the worst, and barely believable at this point. Do you hear me, all of you mommy shaming victims? I'm not buying your stories!
I don't do sad sack. All guilt and shame is almost instantly transformed into vicious and righteous angerand projected outward. If there is accidentally any left over I smother it with carbs and/or wine.
lol. Rage on, my friend. You're supposed to be angry at a friendly hello at this point.
Just don't do the guilty, sad sack mom schtick. That's the worst, and barely believable at this point. Do you hear me, all of you mommy shaming victims? I'm not buying your stories!
I don't do sad sack. All guilt and shame is almost instantly transformed into vicious and righteous angerand projected outward. If there is accidentally any left over I smother it with carbs and/or wine.
thank God. I have a friend who gets all mopey over stuff like this, and I just want to smack her. Not all of your choices are going to be met with universal praise and affirmation, lady. Buck the hell up. Nobody cares about your kid anyway.
Sure. Except these recommendations lead to things like hospitals without nurseries to give new mothers a break. And shaming. And endless guilt. And lack of nuance.
Your own earlier responses in this thread had me bristley as all hell, and not only do I not have a newborn now, I never will again.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
What makes me most pissed is that they make these recommendations without regard to the actual challenges of actual parents of actual newborns. And they chicken out on doing any sort of societal recommendations (namely parental leave) that would not only make these things more realistic but also in their own right provide additional SCIENCE SUPPORTED benefits (attachment anyone?)
And I am normally a fan of the AAP but they are full of shit w/r/t newborn care.
Vaccinations on schedule? Totally realistic for American parents. Rear face until age 2? Absolutely doable for the overwhelming majority of American parents. Hold your baby all day except for when they are in a sterile flat box or in supervised tummy time and also breastfeed on demand around the clock no matter what? FUCK YOU.
I'm confused why vaccinating on schedule is so demanding. It's sure as shit less demanding than the illnesses they prevent...
What makes me most pissed is that they make these recommendations without regard to the actual challenges of actual parents of actual newborns. And they chicken out on doing any sort of societal recommendations (namely parental leave) that would not only make these things more realistic but also in their own right provide additional SCIENCE SUPPORTED benefits (attachment anyone?)
And I am normally a fan of the AAP but they are full of shit w/r/t newborn care.
Vaccinations on schedule? Totally realistic for American parents. Rear face until age 2? Absolutely doable for the overwhelming majority of American parents. Hold your baby all day except for when they are in a sterile flat box or in supervised tummy time and also breastfeed on demand around the clock no matter what? FUCK YOU.
I'm confused why vaccinating on schedule is so demanding. It's sure as shit less demanding than the illnesses they prevent...