@ How worried are you?

[Bernadine]

If you have children, how much do you worry for them? I'm feeling a little white lady tears about this, and I'm not sure if my anxiety is normal, a little ramped up due to having a lot going on (5 month old, little sleep, buying/selling house, busy at work), or if I'm verging on PPA.

Pixy posted the other day about the US being like Syria in 25 years, and I can't stop thinking about it. I look at dd, and I'm terrified that I won't be able to protect her.

Rationally, I know that as a white Christian, UMC family, we have the least to be worried about, and that's why I can't figure out if I'm having a normal amount of anxiety or not.

[robyn]

Since the election, constantly. All of the time. I literally could not even look at DD that Wednesday without crying. I worry about her individually, but I also worry so much now about her generation as a whole. What the FUCK have we done to them (I say we, because although I obviously did not vote for that piece of shit dumpster fire, I definitely could have done more for Hillary's campaign). From what I've read on here, in my local PSN group and on FB/Twitter in general I think what you're feeling is pretty on par with just about every other parent in America right now who isn't a Trumpeter and has some critical thinking skills and understands what a colossal mistake this is. I'm sorry you're struggling, it's so hard. You aren't alone by any means.

[ijack]

I worry more about how I can raise decent humans. I think I'm doing a good job, but I also think of the people who I know that I would have put on the "decent human" list and then they voted for Trump. And then I have a horrible weekend with them and I start to think I'm raising entitled shits and I lose all hope

[nessness]

A lot. DD is biracial, and I've always worried about the racism that she'll inevitably encounter in the future, but my fears have definitely ramped up since the election.

[starlily]

My kids are multiracial, with one significantly browner than the other. While we live in CA, we live in an area that had a decent amount of Trump support (55/45 split). So I'm pretty worried.

[wkatie]

I'm not...doing well. In fact, I have spent way too much time in the past week researching moving to New Zealand. Down to work visas and school districts. Epsom area of Auckland anyone?

I don't know what is normal. All I know is that I am scared for my family and I find myself living in a country that I want to take a break from.

I feel a combo of ridiculousness, shame and panic.

[Mrs.flang]

I only lurk here, but your post struck me because I think about this a lot too.  I have a 3 month old DD, and I was SO EXCITED to take her with me to vote and thought for sure she would grow up only knowing the president as a woman.  There's still plenty to worry about, but I would have felt a lot different with a different election outcome.  I wouldn't say I'm anxious about her future, but more so depressed and saddened for the kind of world she'll grow up in.  I think no matter what as a new parent, I'll worry about anything and everything. 

It does sound like you have a lot going on, but it couldn't hurt to talk to someone if you feel like its too much.

[thecatinthehat]

As a mom of biracial kid and pregnant with our second. I worry about kids and I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones but I keep thinking about the day when I won't be here to protect them. I have always wanted a girl (I have a son now and dont know yet about this one) and I kinda still do but it feels like the worst time to be a WOC. And I sometimes am frustrated but I feel like DH has moved on (I mean he bitches about what's going on) and maybe doesn't feel the fear I am feeling as a WOC in this country.

I worry I will have PPA/PPD after I give birth because I am already having anxiety (way more than when I was pregnant with DS).

[KB]

I have two bi-racial children, one of which has special needs. My worry is palpable.

[eclaires]

Fairly worried, but our family's financial well being is sort of tied to federal funding of scientific research. My kids are also a minority group in that their parents are basically flaming liberals here in the middle of bright red TN. I worry that I will be able to maintain the influence that we currently have in their lives with so many influences that I do want them to reject, especially as they get older.

But I don't think this is the end of America. I just think it's going to be an ugly fight and an ugly four years surviving this last gasping death rattle of white/white male privilege. I do feel like we'll come out on the other side...just worried about the journey and where we will be on the other side, how much we've lost and how much we'll need to do to get it back.

[biscoffcookies]

I worry a lot. I worried even before the election about things like climate change and what that might mean for us all in 25 years. But now, my gut says that we are basically on the precipice of something terrible. And while there are theoretically potential brakes in the form of the rule of law and checks and balances, I have zero faith that any of them will kick in given that the "checks and balances" are dominated by the GOP who seem so excited about being in power that they are willing to overlook all sins and the president-elect and his entourage seem to GNF about rules or laws.

Before the election I was on the fence about having a third. The election and my concern about what it means both short- and long-term seems to have been the tipping point against it.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Nov 21, 2016 13:44:28 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

I am generally very hopeful. I mean, this sucks, but I am not going to despair. I am encouraged by how younger people voted and that people seem to be mobilizing for productive change. Seeing how happy and present my own kids are also keeps me grounded in the present.

In any case, getting myself worked up is going to accomplish nothing.

This is me. I'm generally happy that my kid is too young to have much consciousness about current events and wont for the next 4 years

[OscarQ]

For the first two days I just burst into tears looking at my kids but I'm over that hump for now.

My kids are white and we live in a blue area of a blue state. DS1 has a feeding tube but it's hidden by his clothes so his small amount of "otherness" doesn't stand out.

Unlike Jenny1980, I am not as encouraged by how the younger generation voted. I feel like that's how they always vote and people age into conservatives. I have not done any research to back up these feels.

For now, I'm working on what I can control. I took DS1 to volunteer Saturday morning. We talk about race, ethnicity, etc. We had a long talk last week about sexism and feminism after DS1 (5) told me that men are smarter than women. Not today Satan!

[redheadbaker]

My son is a white male, so he personally probably won't be in much danger. But I'm going to do my best to teach him about his privilege, and teach him that it's his job to stand up for those who don't have his privilege.

[sparrowsong]

Enough that it is one of the reasons I don't have children. But I've always been a Debby downer full of doom about the direction this world is headed. Even before trump and his cabinet of racist, sexist, climate change deniers I've worried about overpopulation, water shortages, energy shortages, antibiotic resistance.... yes, I've got doom and gloom down cold.

But even childless I have anxiety about my nieces. And my sister is falling apart with panic. She says she worries about civil wAr or global war that takes place in the US frequently since the election.

[1yeartogo]

I'm very worried. My DH is Jewish so yes I worry about that for my children, nieces, and nephews. Reports of hate crimes are significantly up since the election and the swastika is the prime symbol of hate and nationalism right now.

I'm very worried for all our friends who are POC and their children. (Obviously I'm worried for all people and how this affects our nation, schools/education and the safety and quality of life for all children/families here as well.)

I think if you are not a conservative Christian white right now America is going to be a scary place to be.

My husband says "this is my country and I won't leave" but honestly it is a major concern for me and if things get really bad I will advocate for leaving.

[taratru]

Nov 21, 2016 13:49:21 GMT -5 ijack said:

I worry more about how I can raise decent humans. I think I'm doing a good job, but I also think of the people who I know that I would have put on the "decent human" list and then they voted for Trump. And then I have a horrible weekend with them and I start to think I'm raising entitled shits and I lose all hope

This.  And I'm terrified that my daughters are going to be living in a real world Handmaid's Tale by the time these fuckers are done. I told my oldest today to go get an IUD while she's still on my policy and they're still covered.

[wawa]

Nov 21, 2016 13:56:22 GMT -5 eclaires said:

But I don't think this is the end of America. I just think it's going to be an ugly fight and an ugly four years surviving this last gasping death rattle of white/white male privilege. I do feel like we'll come out on the other side...just worried about the journey and where we will be on the other side, how much we've lost and how much we'll need to do to get it back.

this is pretty close to my mindset.

the result being I'm not worried about my kids really.  I'm worried about a lot of other people's kids, but mine will be fairly insulated because privilege.  We live in a diverse area in a blue state and we're both UMC/UC white people in fields likely to stay fairly stable over the next 4.  *knocks on all the wood*

I worry about their little daycare friends of assorted races and religions.  I worry about my immigrant muslim daycare provider (I keep wanting to say something to her...like, if shit goes down, you can come to me for help.  I will do anything I can.  But I feel like that will feel very apologizing to Sikh's and so I'll just keep on paying her and trusting her with my offspring and talking about potty training with her...).  I worry about my BIL in the military and my special needs niece and nephews.  So I'm trying to bust my ass to get out there and make sure these people are just as safe as my little preshuses because my kids are not really the ones at risk here.

You want to get into how much I worry about my kids because of Pixy style doomsaying?  Yeah...I try not to think about it.  I think she's right.  But  I do what I can to help combat global warming and I do what I can to help prevent...you know...destabilization of society??  But really my abilities are limited there and it's way too easy for me to start thinking that maybe I should divert all 401k and 529 savings to being a prepper and maybe she's wrong, right?  And that would suck.  Sorry you can't go to college kids, but check out this sweet bunker!  So I just force myself to stick with optimism and preventative action rather than trying to prepare for the worst because...the worst is just SO BAD. 

[estrellita]

I don't in some ways because he is a white male, so I know it's extremely unlikely he will ever be a target specifically for his race or gender. I worry if he turns out to be gay or trans, or have some sort of disability, because there are so many people that would stop treating him as an equal due to those things. As for the world in general, I try to do my part as much as possible by doing the little things. Recycling, trying to waste less, having important conversations with people and things along those lines. I hope to teach him to be a better person that cares for and respects everyone.

[ringstrue]

I think that if you feel "too worried for you" and its affecting your body and ability to relax and enjoy then you need to address it specifically. I don't think that comparing it to others, especially right now, is going to be helpful, you know?

[picksthemusic]

I'm in worried territory. My kids look white, but have a Mexican last name. I'm afraid DD will come home from school one day upset because someone told her to go back to Mexico based solely on her last name - regardless of the fact that she was born here to a white mother and a second generation Mexican-American father.

I know, however, that I can only control my own actions and what goes on in my house, so we have made a commitment as parents to raise our children to be racially sensitive, culturally aware, and SES aware. We will be volunteering our time as a family to those less fortunate than ourselves, stand up to bullying, and make others feel welcome with us. We are Catholic and fully intend to do as Jesus would do, which is to reach out to those who need help most.

[StrawberryBlondie]

I will say that we're getting the child a passport in the next couple of weeks. And we have both looked into out-of-country job internal company job postings. But I'm overall not worried about us.

[bohemianmango]

My husband and I worry. My kids worry too. They hear stories. We are Filipino and are definitely the minority where we live. We live in CA and our county primarily voted blue. While it is a blue majority here, I know it only takes one person or group who doesn't like the way we look to hurt any of us emotionally or physically. We had a neighbor who kept a confederate flag in his car and teens who hang out in the shopping center down the street with their confederate flag waving off their truck. All of that was before the election.

My husband has been having a hard time because he's scared. He has horrible childhood memories from the short time he lived in Mississippi. Kids used to put him and his siblings against the wall during recess and throw rocks at them. He was known as brown man and was bullied constantly for his skin color. The adults looked away and didn't care. We don't want our girls to experience anything like that.

At the same time, we're trying to stay hopeful. My girls ask great questions and are aware. As PPs have mentioned, the younger generations are strong, ready to learn, and are using their voices.

[CallingAllAngels]

I'm not really worried. We are white, middle-to-upper-middle class. Like others, I am more worried about our neighbors and friends who aren't. I'm worried about raising kids to are compassionate to others and good listeners.

Even though I'm "not really worried" we are still getting the kids passports and changing their guardians to family members who have dual citizenship in Canada (they are the secondary guardians now, so it's not a drastic change). If shit really hits the fan, I want to have a plan.

[amberlyrose]

DH and I both agreed we will be putting off kids for now.

[darnkatz]

I am not worried for their safety, as they are white. I am, however, worried about their well being. We rely on social programs to get by right now, and I would like to be able to keep feeding my kids. We live in a very red state so it isn't an unfounded fear that our asshole governor will feel emboldened to make severe cuts.

We will also be using some of our tax refund to get all of us passports.

[summer]

I'm terrified about climate change and the effects it will have on our food supply, water scarcity, weather systems, disease, and wars over resources and further displacing people. My philosopher friends have been scaring the shit out of me about if another major country falls into war (Eastern Europe, Northern Africa, etc.) and displaces even more people, Europe will just descend into chaos. I try to be optimistic, but I trust humans not at all to be decent. That and they also tell me that the temperature has risen enough that Europe will start to get hurricane force wind storms which their cities are not built to handle. Hooray.

[heyjude]

Very.

[JLV]

Nov 21, 2016 14:04:53 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

My son is a white male, so he personally probably won't be in much danger. But I'm going to do my best to teach him about his privilege, and teach him that it's his job to stand up for those who don't have his privilege.

This, exactly, is how I feel. 

[bowies]

I'm not worried about myself or my kids right now. I worry about those who are in targeted communities or in economically tenuous situations. I worry for us as a society. As we continue to accept "the new normal" then things will keep sliding into extremism. I know very few people who won't be jazzed about the Falwell news. They honestly think the number one threat to America is the lack of Jesus in the classroom.