Post by eponinepontmercy on Nov 21, 2016 14:49:46 GMT -5
I'm concerned for the quality of her education in a public school, but I'm aware that we have the resources to supplement curriculum and/ or move her to private school if we have to.
I work in the investment management industry, so I'm worried about the economy and whatever changes to regulations may impact my job.
I want to make sure she is aware of her privilege and that it's our responsibility to make the world around us the best place it can be.
DH and I both agreed we will be putting off kids for now. I was so excited about TTC in about 2 years with a female president. I can't comprehend having a child with our current president-elect. I'm barely holding myself together.
I don't mean to pick on you, but Jesus. Many of us already have kids. We can't go around "not comprehending" what this will be like.
As for my actual children, I'm in a blue area with good schools (in a red state, which sucks mightily). I'm a UMC white lady. My husband and I were born here and have good jobs and a supportive immediate family network. My kids are pale, blonde, and blue eyed. Even though they're half Jewish and my husband is Jewish, their last name doesn't read as "Jewish" to almost anyone. So, no, right now I do not have any concrete fears about direct threats to their physical or mental health or safety. How lucky I am, that I can feel this way.
I am worried mostly about children (and adults) in the world and US who are not Christian or who are minorities. I am devastated about what this will do to our environment. These worries literally do keep me up at night.
I fear the culture and stability of their world they are inhabiting, both the physical world and government. And I'm training myself and them to take direct action in big and small ways to try to counteract that. I can only hope that we (collective we) are successful.
DH and I both agreed we will be putting off kids for now. I was so excited about TTC in about 2 years with a female president. I can't comprehend having a child with our current president-elect. I'm barely holding myself together.
I don't mean to pick on you, but Jesus. Many of us already have kids. We can't go around "not comprehending" what this will be like.
As for my actual children, I'm in a blue area with good schools (in a red state, which sucks mightily). I'm a UMC white lady. My husband and I were born here and have good jobs and a supportive immediate family network. My kids are pale, blonde, and blue eyed. Even though they're half Jewish and my husband is Jewish, their last name doesn't read as "Jewish" to almost anyone. So, no, right now I do not have any concrete fears about direct threats to their physical or mental health or safety. How lucky I am, that I can feel this way.
I am worried mostly about children (and adults) in the world and US who are not Christian or who are minorities. I am devastated about what this will do to our environment. These worries literally do keep me up at night.
I fear the culture and stability of their world they are inhabiting, both the physical world and government. And I'm training myself and them to take direct action in big and small ways to try to counteract that. I can only hope that we (collective we) are successful.
You're right.. it was very short sighted on my part to post.
Post by earlgreyhot on Nov 21, 2016 15:18:37 GMT -5
I'm...waiting to see how this plays out. The whole world is losing their mind and voting in nationalist parties.
There's still plenty of time for a things equalize. Republicans can regrow a spine, if democrats can regroup and get their shit together and in 2018 I'll have a better idea if that's going to happen.
Like others, I am not terribly worried about my child. He is a white male. My concern will change if he is gay or trans because I would worry significantly about him being harassed and having limited rights. Thankfully for us, anything like that coming to light is a ways off and I am hoping things will look more optimistic by then.
Like cville, it's the lives of others that keep me awake. I have a friend with sons adopted from Africa. My best friend's kids are half Hispanic. I am so scared for them and that is made worse simply because I know I can't even feel 5% of the fear they do.
I'm worried to the same degree I was worried before (about climate change and guns and car accidents and paying for college and what I feed them), Now I can just add more categories of worry to my overall bucket of worry. My worry isn't debilitating, but just an ever present hum of thought and concern that goes on in the background as I go the business of work and life and wiping butts.
Enough that it is one of the reasons I don't have children. But I've always been a Debby downer full of doom about the direction this world is headed. Even before trump and his cabinet of racist, sexist, climate change deniers I've worried about overpopulation, water shortages, energy shortages, antibiotic resistance.... yes, I've got doom and gloom down cold.
But even childless I have anxiety about my nieces. And my sister is falling apart with panic. She says she worries about civil wAr or global war that takes place in the US frequently since the election.
I'm a professional Debby Downer too and somehow got over it enough to have 2 children. I'm home on maternity leave with my 4 week old and thinking "what the fuck have I done?". I mean shit was all messed up in the world already, but DT just sent us racing for the cliff.
The first week I was in a haze. I'm trying to get more present now, because I realize that my anxiety isn't going to help anyone. I still need to take care of myself and my family and I want to do what I can to be politically active or active in other causes where I can have a positive impact.
Like cville , it's the lives of others that keep me awake.
So much this. We're incredibly privileged to not have to worry about our immediate well being, but I can't not worry about what this means for everyone else and what I can do about it. I feel so helpless and that even the small things I can do won't be enough
I'm pretty fucking worried. As a white UMC woman with a little boy who easily passes for white I was heartbroken for our country, and for my many friends who are much more adversely affected.
Then, Saturday night, I was sitting on a park bench with him and a group of young kids came up to us throwing rocks (which thankfully only hit me) and yelling racial slurs at us. It breaks my heart that those kids know those words, and how much hurt they've been exposed to to treat others like that. And it's breaking my heart that my son's innocence is shattered. He keeps asking why they threw rocks at us, and why they were talking about crackers. 😢 I don't even know what to say, and I know other groups of people have experienced far worse. 😢
And I live in a super liberal bubble in nyc, and I've already heard of many other hateful attacks around here. I hate that Orange Cheeto's election has normalized all these hateful actions.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Nov 21, 2016 16:13:46 GMT -5
A lot. I feel like it's on me to make sure he will be taken care of because his dad is a fuckup. I feel like I'm going to always be financially strapped because my state makes stupid choices about money and Medicaid regardless of the fact that many of them rely on it. Treatments are expensive. Care is expensive. I have panic attacks often. It is fucking shitty.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
At first I was a mess about it. Could not sleep and could not think about anything else. I was so angry with people who voted for them. I felt completely blindsided. But this is my naive Blue bubble I live in DFW.
But then I have noticed that every single decision this guy is making is being publicized. Then with his inability to not use twitter to express his inner meaningless thoughts he will likely bury himself. I do think that potentially he could be impeached.
On a unrelated note it also seems to have open the door to why I can't get along with my Dad's side of the family. They are not my people. Nor do I want them to be my people. So happy I don't have a reason to go out of my way anymore. I should have realized this 10 years ago.
I am raising two white males so I don't worry at all for their immediate safety. Obviously I worry that I am raising them in a world where Donald Trump is an acceptable President, where climate change disaster looms overhead. But I doubt that is any different than anyone raising kids during the age of duck and cover or in WW1 or whatever.
You know what keeps me up at night...raising these boys to be the kind of men who are not EVER going to let this shit happen again, who will respect EVERYONE that crosses their path, who want to be the change. That shit terrifies me.
I'm more worried about my family members who are Muslim, my family members and friends who are gay, and my friends who are brown/have brown skin, and everyone else in this country who falls into those categories.
My nuclear family will be okay - it's everyone who's not white/straight/Christian that I'm most concerned about.
I worry that they will grow up in a world with a lot of hate and violence in it, but I am not significantly more worried for them now than I was pre-election. I worry about their safety as girls, but we are white and they don't stand out as Jewish in any way. Who knows if they will be members of the LGBT community, but as of right now, they are pretty privileged. I worry a whole lot more for a lot of other kids (my students, and kids of friends), and that anxiety has ramped up in the past few weeks.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I'm pretty fucking worried. As a white UMC woman with a little boy who easily passes for white I was heartbroken for our country, and for my many friends who are much more adversely affected.
Then, Saturday night, I was sitting on a park bench with him and a group of young kids came up to us throwing rocks (which thankfully only hit me) and yelling racial slurs at us. It breaks my heart that those kids know those words, and how much hurt they've been exposed to to treat others like that. And it's breaking my heart that my son's innocence is shattered. He keeps asking why they threw rocks at us, and why they were talking about crackers. 😢 I don't even know what to say, and I know other groups of people have experienced far worse. 😢
And I live in a super liberal bubble in nyc, and I've already heard of many other hateful attacks around here. I hate that Orange Cheeto's election has normalized all these hateful actions.
Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry that happened How old were the kids involved?
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I'm pretty fucking worried. As a white UMC woman with a little boy who easily passes for white I was heartbroken for our country, and for my many friends who are much more adversely affected.
Then, Saturday night, I was sitting on a park bench with him and a group of young kids came up to us throwing rocks (which thankfully only hit me) and yelling racial slurs at us. It breaks my heart that those kids know those words, and how much hurt they've been exposed to to treat others like that. And it's breaking my heart that my son's innocence is shattered. He keeps asking why they threw rocks at us, and why they were talking about crackers. 😢 I don't even know what to say, and I know other groups of people have experienced far worse. 😢
And I live in a super liberal bubble in nyc, and I've already heard of many other hateful attacks around here. I hate that Orange Cheeto's election has normalized all these hateful actions.
Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry that happened How old were the kids involved?
I'd guess around 12 or 13. I notified our neighborhood security of the incident, but didn't call the cops because I thought they'd escalate it more.
I'm not worried for my children or my family. I'm sad about the lost opportunity for DD's first real memory of a president to be a capable woman. But we are white and wealthy and can easily survive 4 years (or less) of Trump.
I worry more about our friends who are LGBT, Muslim, minorities, immigrants. And I worry about the unraveling of all the progress that Obama has made.
I've always wanted to live abroad for a bit. But now I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to fight and I'm already getting involved in local politics.
Post by lightbulbsun on Nov 21, 2016 20:58:33 GMT -5
I was on the fence about having kids, and this election has moved me firmly into no territory. After the election, H and I agreed that we don't want to bring a baby into this environment. In the past we've discussed fostering, so we may pursue that, but no bio-kids.
I worry that my daughter may face an even worse rape culture than I did and go through rape herself. But I was worried about that before Trump.
We have nice salaries and are white. This bullshit administration isn't going to say or do anything to hurt us. What a fucking sign of privilege.
I worry about my DD's BFF and all the kids and people I love who are persons of color and what their life may be like in 5, 10 years.
But honestly, I'm not even that worried about all people of color, because most of my Latino friends are legal immigrants and multi-generational Texans. A fair number voted for Trump and some are posting bullshit like this, just today (below). I'm mostly worried about my Black friends, Asian friends, Muslim friends, and LGBTQ friends as well as anyone with an accent from another country where people are light brown or darker.
I was on the fence about having kids, and this election has moved me firmly into no territory. After the election, H and I agreed that we don't want to bring a baby into this environment. In the past we've discussed fostering, so we may pursue that, but no bio-kids.
I'm going to admit that I find it annoying the parade of "I have white sons so I'm not worried." Fuck that. You should worry about a White House that glorifies hyper masculinity, that elevated a men's rights activist, that supports transphobia. This is a world that is bad for women, but it's also a world that is bad for your sons. And if you don't see that, nothing will ever get better. Or at least go back to a place that existed on Nov 7, 2016.
I'm going to admit that I find it annoying the parade of "I have white sons so I'm not worried." Fuck that. You should worry about a White House that glorifies hyper masculinity, that elevated a men's rights activist, that supports transphobia. This is a world that is bad for women, but it's also a world that is bad for your sons. And if you don't see that, nothing will ever get better. Or at least go back to a place that existed on Nov 7, 2016.
Yes...this is something I already worried about because of where I live. And I do feel confident that we've made a big impact on Jackson. His complete distaste for Trump and willingness to stand up to people who support him at age 10 when it is a minority viewpoint here gives me hope that we are on the right track.
But I admit that it is very, very daunting to me to contemplate the next four years and beyond with him - handling the influences around us was one thing when it felt like the country was moving in a certain direction. It feels so much harder already that my kids have learned a completely disgusting vile excuse for a person who espouses hate can be president.
I think he is going to face more pushback. I think his tendencies towards feminism and away from traditionally boy things in this environment will be tested and make him more of a target now because so many people are emboldened. It's depressing and scary to me but at the same time I'm never going to tell him to put his head down and just get by. That's not who we are and what we believe.
I'm going to admit that I find it annoying the parade of "I have white sons so I'm not worried." Fuck that. You should worry about a White House that glorifies hyper masculinity, that elevated a men's rights activist, that supports transphobia. This is a world that is bad for women, but it's also a world that is bad for your sons. And if you don't see that, nothing will ever get better. Or at least go back to a place that existed on Nov 7, 2016.
I said I'm not worried about the safety of my own family. I am definitely worried about this country. But I recognize that my family is at an advantage compared to others, and I'd feel weird coming in here and saying how scared I am for my rich, white children.