Nervous white women in yoga pants are the problem

[kadams767]

May 25, 2017 11:42:49 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

May 25, 2017 11:09:02 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

But also, isn't another big issue exactly this as well - that leaving these places hasn't helped any, or at least, it won't?  Clearly, clustering into bubbles isn't doing any good in terms of tipping political scales.

I don't pretend to know WTF the answer is, but it's through my head well and clear that living in a liberal enclave and doing my personal best to put my money where my mouth is, wasn't, and isn't, enough.  I'm not particularly interested in seeking out racists and patronizing suburban middle America, but is there really another way? 

Liberal enclaves, especially those filled with dangerous liberal white women*, are the worst. HTH!
Do you wine and/or yoga? 
Do your kids go to "good" schools? 
Do you have an aggressively white PTA/PTO?
Do you have a neighborhood facebook/nextdoor, etc.?
Do you try to use manners, termed "tackiness" and social graces, as a weapon of mass destruction?

Then, you have work to do.
Or, you don't, because again, there are no such thing as allies. 

No one's expecting Becky to worry her little head, or lift her pretty little finger. Historically, it just doesn't happen. Why would things suddenly change now?

All I ask, is that, you (collective) stop playing games like you care, stop with the fragility, stop quoting sound bites and statistics that you can't analyze, and every now and then, kindly STFU, and maybe controll your household. 

Terrorist tears, and the chorus of, "Whatever shall we doooooo?!?!", is what gets my people killed. Day in; day out. Rinse, wash, repeat. 
So, I'm not here for it,  in any form, at all. 

*Our nation's true terrorists. 

I am not posting this in a plea of white tears or a fit of #notallwhitewomen, but only because I do want to respond to your post.  Which response is that, while I can say with honesty that my own house is in order here, it is crystal clear that I am not enough and that's why I posted in the first place.  It's not working for like-minded people to just leave racist areas and live near one another, we don't get extra credit for it come election day.  While leaving seems like a proactive step, it's actually passive, because it's avoiding the problem and it's avoiding the confrontation that we desperately apparently need to have.    

And by *we* throughout this post, I am referring only to white people/white women.          

[cville]

May 25, 2017 12:22:04 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

I am not posting this in a plea of white tears or a fit of #notallwhitewomen, but only because I do want to respond to your post.  Which response is that, while I can say with honesty that my own house is in order here, it is crystal clear that I am not enough and that's why I posted in the first place.  It's not working for like-minded people to just leave racist areas and live near one another, we don't get extra credit for it come election day.  While leaving seems like a proactive step, it's actually passive, because it's avoiding the problem and it's avoiding the confrontation that we desperately apparently need to have.    

And by *we* throughout this post, I am referring only to white people/white women.          

I never presume my own house is in order.

[vicky]

www.buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/womans-racist-rant-in-arkansas-wal-mart?utm_term=.tfOZ1ERD12&bffbpl#.dt44YP9LYe

53%.

[kadams767]

May 25, 2017 12:29:07 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

May 25, 2017 12:22:04 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

I am not posting this in a plea of white tears or a fit of #notallwhitewomen, but only because I do want to respond to your post.  Which response is that, while I can say with honesty that my own house is in order here, it is crystal clear that I am not enough and that's why I posted in the first place.  It's not working for like-minded people to just leave racist areas and live near one another, we don't get extra credit for it come election day.  While leaving seems like a proactive step, it's actually passive, because it's avoiding the problem and it's avoiding the confrontation that we desperately apparently need to have.    

And by *we* throughout this post, I am referring only to white people/white women.          

Girl, what?
What is this leaving racist areas that you speak of?
Are you posting from the moon?
Oh, wait, that was originally colonized by white people. And NASA was super messy in the 60s ( and is still super messy) so racism exists there too. 

When you leave, if you stay put,  where ever you go, you take your racism with you? You do know that right? 
Please tell me you're at least self-aware of that basic step. 
Because, if you're not, nothing else you ever do matters on this front. 
Such is the problem with White Liberals. 

My original post was in response to the poster saying she wished she could leave X area, and the question of where would she go anyhow.  It's 100% a hypothetical "leaving a racist area", because as I said, I don't see how leaving anywhere is going to help.  This has come  up before, both in terms of leaving notoriously red areas/states, and in the even more hypothetical "leaving the US" entirely after the damn election.  I absolutely agree and recognize that people take their racism with them and am not arguing otherwise.  I am talking only about people who are on the right side of this fight and could actually work to effect change around them picking up and leaving.        

[ginap]

May 25, 2017 9:19:49 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

May 25, 2017 9:07:40 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

1234FIF! I admit to having the same thoughts as you!!

But unfortunately this article isn't surprising. I hate all the 'trust your guts' stuff because it ignore reality and any facts and is basically a code for act racist if you want

And the same people who tout, "Trust your gut", tend to consistently display the worst possible judgement and critical thinking abilities, I've ever witnessed, on the internets, and IRL. It's alarmingly bad! 

So, nah, don't trust your gut, ladies. Your gut is way the fuck off. 

Want to know who I trust my gut about, affluent, white men.  They are the ones that are more likely to rape me and then get away with it because privilege.  It wasn't 3 brown teenagers yelling sexual obscenities at me in the Target parking lot last week, it was 3 white teenagers who give no fucks because they have been told all their lives they can do whatever they want to and not face any consequences.  

[pixy0stix]

Also, all of this is lipservice unless people actually DO something.

We had an incident at work where on Cinco de Mayo some of the front counter staff was wearing fake mustaches. I'd heard through the grapevine after the fact that they had wore them before for a "fiesta". No one said a damn thing at the time to them, but they did talk about it behind their backs (which is how I found out). So when Cinco de Mayo rolls around, the mustaches made an appearance. I don't get to that part of the building often, but the rumor came back to me (again) what was happening. AGAIN, no one said anything. I casually walked by to verify, then came back to my desk, called HR, and then went to the director who immediately took care of it. But again, TONS of people saw it and knew it was wrong, but no one said a damn thing because they were too scared. Actually, just writing this out makes me furious again.

*I don't write this for a pat on the back. I'm saying this because people need to know that just knowing what is happening is wrong isn't enough. Even in your work setting, even with your colleagues, you need to *do* something. Also, I didn't confront the **boss of the group because she's super combative about everything. I immediately went higher up because it needed to be stopped without discussion.

**Bitch is moving to FL because she doesn't like it here. So long, good riddance, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

[AJL]

May 25, 2017 10:22:13 GMT -5 mrssandro said:

The OP is some fucked up shit. He is just trying to farm. JFC

The post about the incident in Texas is even more fucked up shit. Fuck that asshole. I knew assholes like this growing up. I swore never to raise my children around racist assholes like that.

If I could leave Texas I would. In a heartbeat.

Don't leave because you think this country is less racist and backward in other places. 

[mrssandro]

May 25, 2017 13:17:16 GMT -5 AJL said:

May 25, 2017 10:22:13 GMT -5 mrssandro said:

The OP is some fucked up shit. He is just trying to farm. JFC

The post about the incident in Texas is even more fucked up shit. Fuck that asshole. I knew assholes like this growing up. I swore never to raise my children around racist assholes like that.

If I could leave Texas I would. In a heartbeat.

Don't leave because you think this country is less racist and backward in other places. 

Maybe I am just freaking sick of Texas. My entire life in a state with no good beaches or other tourist places I have not seen. 

I guess is this why I love to travel and to places that have some culture other than big Texas sized foods and rodeos. Texas is boring (and racist) but yeah I know other places are just as racist. 

[bex]

May 25, 2017 12:54:58 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

It has been said a million times, but I'm most scared of the people that think they are so above it. It being racism. Just acknowledge that shit is in you. Work on it as much as you work on making little tommy the next great soccer star. Each day I work to deal with my issues, confront my shortcomings. Do the same, people.

I had a comment to moxie before typed out but I deleted it because I was afraid it sounded very self-congratulatory in a way that I wasn't intending.   But basically what I was trying to say was what you said here. I don't assume that I'm above being racist.  I have started examining my interactions with people, my daily choices, and my lifestyle choices to determine where my racism comes in.  Why do I shop at this Target but not that Target? Why am I more comfortable walking down this street than that street?  Why do we live where we live?  And for daily interactions, I ask myself "how would I treat this person/how would I react if this were a white person vs a black person?"  I'm not perfect but like you said, each day I work on it.

[iammalcolmx]

@kirkette,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am DONE WITH YOU. @natariru come get your girl please. She in here asking folks " Are you posting from the Moon"

[AJL]

May 25, 2017 12:22:04 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

I am not posting this in a plea of white tears or a fit of #notallwhitewomen, but only because I do want to respond to your post.  Which response is that, while I can say with honesty that my own house is in order here, it is crystal clear that I am not enough and that's why I posted in the first place.  It's not working for like-minded people to just leave racist areas and live near one another, we don't get extra credit for it come election day.  While leaving seems like a proactive step, it's actually passive, because it's avoiding the problem and it's avoiding the confrontation that we desperately apparently need to have.    

And by *we* throughout this post, I am referring only to white people/white women.          

Can you? Can you really say this with honesty? I want to know what this looks like because my first reaction when I read this was...

[raangoli]

Is this really happening again?

[iammalcolmx]

May 25, 2017 13:52:11 GMT -5 @natariru said:

May 25, 2017 13:47:02 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

@kirkette ,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am DONE WITH YOU. @natariru come get your girl please. She in here asking folks " Are you posting from the Moon"

IM HANDLING WHITE NONSENSE ON ML! Fuck, I need 2 monitors.

WHERE?? Why didn't I at least get a text??

[kadams767]

May 25, 2017 13:56:29 GMT -5 AJL said:

May 25, 2017 12:22:04 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

I am not posting this in a plea of white tears or a fit of #notallwhitewomen, but only because I do want to respond to your post.  Which response is that, while I can say with honesty that my own house is in order here, it is crystal clear that I am not enough and that's why I posted in the first place.  It's not working for like-minded people to just leave racist areas and live near one another, we don't get extra credit for it come election day.  While leaving seems like a proactive step, it's actually passive, because it's avoiding the problem and it's avoiding the confrontation that we desperately apparently need to have.    

And by *we* throughout this post, I am referring only to white people/white women.          

Can you? Can you really say this with honesty? I want to know what this looks like because my first reaction when I read this was...

I'll apologize for that statement.  I didn't say it to imply that I am perfect and a shining example of someone who has no inherent racial bias ever or who has never put her foot in it.  I am sorry, I know that is how I came across. 

[bex]

I'm petty and mean-spirited, so I will admit that I'm always down for a good V trash-talk. but I haven't been back to the thread since that started. (I lurk on ML but don't post lol.)

[bcv513]

OMG with the "my house is in order" bullshit. No, it's not. I guarantee it.

[sofamonkey]

Why is it so hard to admit our houses are messy as fuck? Like, come on. That doesn't make you a bad person per se, but we ALL have work to do. Damn.

[lucybrown]

May 25, 2017 10:04:45 GMT -5 mx27 said:

LOL @ how some of you are talking about "white women" as though you aren't one of them. I mean, the majority of this board consists of white women, so let's get real. I'm going to need those of you who hold these racist beliefs to admit your failings.

A reminder is due.  Your house isn't in order.  My house isn't in order.  It's time to get our shit together to act right and stop leaving the work to POC.

[tessalb]

May 25, 2017 14:11:01 GMT -5 sofamonkey said:

Why is it so hard to admit our houses are messy as fuck? Like, come on. That doesn't make you a bad person per se, but we ALL have work to do. Damn.

Yup. Recognize privilege based on being a white woman. And nothing else. Admitting I have benefitted from the systemic racism in this country was a starting point. But yeah, my house is messy. My sister is the Blue Lives Matter police wife. I'm having dialogue with her about it, but it's not an immediate change. We have to keep at it.


ETA: and this is not nearly enough on my part. I know that. I'm taking opportunities when I can.

[nikki25]

May 25, 2017 11:42:49 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

May 25, 2017 11:09:02 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

But also, isn't another big issue exactly this as well - that leaving these places hasn't helped any, or at least, it won't?  Clearly, clustering into bubbles isn't doing any good in terms of tipping political scales.

I don't pretend to know WTF the answer is, but it's through my head well and clear that living in a liberal enclave and doing my personal best to put my money where my mouth is, wasn't, and isn't, enough.  I'm not particularly interested in seeking out racists and patronizing suburban middle America, but is there really another way? 

Liberal enclaves, especially those filled with dangerous liberal white women*, are the worst. HTH!
Do you wine and/or yoga? 
Do your kids go to "good" schools? 
Do you have an aggressively white PTA/PTO?
Do you have a neighborhood facebook/nextdoor, etc.?
Do you try to use manners, termed "tackiness" and social graces, as a weapon of mass destruction?

Then, you have work to do.
Or, you don't, because again, there are no such thing as allies. 

No one's expecting Becky to worry her little head, or lift her pretty little finger. Historically, it just doesn't happen. Why would things suddenly change now?

All I ask, is that, you (collective) stop playing games like you care, stop with the fragility, stop quoting sound bites and statistics that you can't analyze, and every now and then, kindly STFU, and maybe controll your household. 

Terrorist tears, and the chorus of, "Whatever shall we doooooo?!?!", is what gets my people killed. Day in; day out. Rinse, wash, repeat. 
So, I'm not here for it,  in any form, at all. 

*Our nation's true terrorists. 

I hope I am not overstepping and truly hope I don't get flamed.

I have been wanting to say for awhile that I hate that you feel this way and for what it is worth please know there are people, good people, white people, that are fighting with you and behind you. I can't ever say I know what you have gone through but there are people fighting with you. From my public defenders office to the local ACLU to all the volunteers with the innocence project in philly. We are a small but a loud group and from the bottom of my heart please know people do care. It isn't enough and won't ever be enough. I just wanted to let you know people are fighting I am so sorry for all this shit. All this white shit.

[ilovecandy]

May 25, 2017 14:18:18 GMT -5 tessalb said:

May 25, 2017 14:11:01 GMT -5 sofamonkey said:

Why is it so hard to admit our houses are messy as fuck? Like, come on. That doesn't make you a bad person per se, but we ALL have work to do. Damn.

Yup. Recognize privilege based on being a white woman. And nothing else. Admitting I have benefitted from the systemic racism in this country was a starting point. But yeah, my house is messy. My sister is the Blue Lives Matter police wife. I'm having dialogue with her about it, but it's not an immediate change. We have to keep at it.


ETA: and this is not nearly enough on my part. I know that. I'm taking opportunities when I can.

So much this. My house isn't in order r but I am learning and trying to do better. That includes calling out people in my life. I have called out my husband because he didn't realize things he said are racist. I am not perfect but I am trying.

[05heel]

May 25, 2017 11:38:47 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

I don't need you to admit your racist beliefs( because I am petty and don't forget. I still side eye the chick with the hairdresser) but you need to acknowledge them and fucking FIX IT.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/562553/wwyd-salon-experience

Still one of my favorite threads.

[iammalcolmx]

May 25, 2017 14:26:34 GMT -5 05heel said:

May 25, 2017 11:38:47 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

I don't need you to admit your racist beliefs( because I am petty and don't forget. I still side eye the chick with the hairdresser) but you need to acknowledge them and fucking FIX IT.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/562553/wwyd-salon-experience

Still one of my favorite threads.

I love us (heart)

[iammalcolmx]

Can someone please tell me around what page the messiness starts on the ML thread.

[05heel]

May 25, 2017 14:53:38 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

May 25, 2017 14:26:34 GMT -5 05heel said:

pandce.proboards.com/thread/562553/wwyd-salon-experience

Still one of my favorite threads.

I love us (heart)

I still want to see her hair.  I just hope it was worth all that ass showing.

[formerlyak]

May 25, 2017 14:54:22 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Can someone please tell me around what page the messiness starts on the ML thread.

It's around 19 or 20.

[kadams767]

May 25, 2017 14:18:18 GMT -5 tessalb said:

May 25, 2017 14:11:01 GMT -5 sofamonkey said:

Why is it so hard to admit our houses are messy as fuck? Like, come on. That doesn't make you a bad person per se, but we ALL have work to do. Damn.

Yup. Recognize privilege based on being a white woman. And nothing else. Admitting I have benefitted from the systemic racism in this country was a starting point. But yeah, my house is messy. My sister is the Blue Lives Matter police wife. I'm having dialogue with her about it, but it's not an immediate change. We have to keep at it.


ETA: and this is not nearly enough on my part. I know that. I'm taking opportunities when I can.

I absolutely recognize that I have benefited from white privilege in my life and I am posting here to apologize again for saying that my house is in order and implying that I have do not have any work to do. I absolutely do and always will and I promise that I will always continue to do it to the best of my ability. Truly, I do not mean that I think every aspect of my life in this regard is perfect and clean; only that I consistently work to walk the walk IRL both personally and professionally.

I sincerely apologize.  

[pixy0stix]

May 25, 2017 14:54:22 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Can someone please tell me around what page the messiness starts on the ML thread.

I got tagged on page 24, so that's where I started.

[laurenpetro]

May 25, 2017 14:53:38 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

May 25, 2017 14:26:34 GMT -5 05heel said:

pandce.proboards.com/thread/562553/wwyd-salon-experience

Still one of my favorite threads.

I love us (heart)

You can call me by name.

I've got a lot of shit going on that I don't discuss on this board but I can assure you I've been working. I assume no one is interested in updates which is why I haven't said anything.

[iammalcolmx]

May 25, 2017 15:46:16 GMT -5 laurenpetro said:

May 25, 2017 14:53:38 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

I love us (heart)

You can call me by name.

I've got a lot of shit going on that I don't discuss on this board but I can assure you I've been working. I assume no one is interested in updates which is why I haven't said anything.

Good assumption. And yes I know what I can and cannot do.