Monday vents and celebrations

[supertrooper1]

It's Monday somewhere. And I need to vent.

[supertrooper1]

Tomorrow is our anniversary. We have had a babysitter lined up for the last month so we can go out to dinner. DH has been helping his coworker with stuff since her H died in March. He was going to help her with some yard work and for some reason he told her he would come over tomorrow afternoon, even after he had mentioned what time the babysitter was showing up about 30 minutes before. He told me that he was going over there and I said ok, figuring I would just go out to dinner by myself, screw him. He realized his error and is going over to her house in the morning, but I'm still pissed. But I'm the bad guy because she is a poor helpless widow that he is just trying to help (or get in her pants).

BTW, they are both teachers with the summer off and the yard work could happen any time.

[freezorburn]

I'm so sorry YH seems to have his priorities backwards, supertrooper1. It's great that he wants to be helpful to his widow friend/colleague ... but there is also nothing wrong at all with you wanting him to put you and your marriage first, just for one day. Or even in general.

My vent is that I lent my grill to another of my single-mom friends last weekend, for a father'a day picnic. I didn't attend because I find large gatherings overwhelming right now. Anyway, she said she would return it by this weekend and still no sign. I'm a bit irritated at not having access to my grill when we've had awesome grilling weather. And I know she has a super-flexible schedule these days and it wouldn't have been out of her way yesterday because I know she was attending another event near me.

[sandandsea]

Ds has had diarrhea off and on for a week. It's been so inconsistent that as soon as I go to call the pedi, it goes away. Only to come back later. I am to the point where I want to take him today but His one year appt is Tuesday morning so at this point I'm waiting it out. He's teething like crazy so I'm hoping it's related to that. It could be so many things that I'm worried - traveling, more real food/dairy, new school, teething, etc. . He hasn't had any fever though.

[sandandsea]

Sorry for both of you. Bad planning by dh and not having my grill would both irritate me irrationally.

[akafred]

supertrooper1, I am glad he realized the error. That is the sort of thing I would do (and one reason I wonder if I have ADHD inattentive type). I tend to overschedule until DH reminds me (sometimes pissily). The last several months I find myself really using my phone calendar and reminders which help but not enough. I don't blame you for being pissed and passive aggressive though. It's your anniversary!

[akafred]

Now that we closed on one of the houses (purchase), I have some (mostly mental) shit I will have to take care of that I have been procrastinating. Namely, my dad and his Altzheimers and how to get support for him and his wife, and the car wreck settlement. I am so not in a mental place right now to deal with either. I think I will continue to procrastinate until we find out if the house we are selling appraised where we need it to or not. Please please please! That should happen today or tomorrow at the latest. Then I need to be preparing to negotiate on the wreck deal and contacting the ALZ foundation. Thank God I work for my current department now though. If I had to go through all this with my former manager(s) and sr mgr I would be given a guilt trip for working from home last Wed and taking 2 days off Thu-Fri without much notice. But I was such a wreck on Tuesday that I needed that so much!

Question for the attorneys (though this is more of a criminal question): The dude who hit me had court last Tuesday. It was supposed to be for "trial." I wasn't able to make it because of all I had going on at work and home. Now the case info online lists a September date and instead of "trial" the reason is "settlement." As far as I can tell from reading between the lines and what Google tells me, it sounds like maybe he went for trial and the judge was like, "Dude, are you sure you want to do this? Why don't I give you a few more months and you come back and settle?" Or something like that? Idk. I am plenty annoyed.

So DH doesn't seem to believe in movers. He is taking several SUV-loads per day and even in the middle of the night.

[twinmomma]

akafred, That moving schedule would drive me insane! The couple times we've moved we've spent money on a UHaul instead of hiring movers. Cheaper and makes a world of difference to only need one or two trips instead of a million. Maybe your DH would do that?

[twinmomma]

Celebration 1: It's summer vacation! Woo! No more daycare drop offs!
Celebration 2: My weekend away was just what I needed. Totally a self-care, relaxing type weekend. I learned a few different quilting techniques and neither of them felt frustrating, just interesting and at a difficulty level that made the class enjoyable. I also learned a few tips for organizing projects that will make it easier to work on new projects in small bits and pieces, which is awesome. I get frustrated and don't work on things when I don't have a big chunk of time to devote to it.

Vent: We're supposed to be moving our website to a new server. The IT guy in house and the external web company seem to have zero sense of urgency and neither of them will talk to each other and figure this crap out. The site keeps crashing and it needs to get done. I'm going to have to lay down the law today because none of them can get their act together. So frustrating, since I don't know what needs to be done - that's why I pay both of them to do it for me!

[HeartofCheese]

supertrooper1 , same exact issue (kind of) that I had for our last anniversary. MH's mom was coming to babysit at 3 so we could go to dinner. He leaves for gym at 2:59. Then he tells me afterwards that she has to leave by 7:30. Wtf. I don't blame you one bit for being pissed.

Also an SOS here: We leave for my parents' tomorrow for 2 weeks. This weekend was supposed to be all about the tons of laundry I have downstairs, packing, and cleaning. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a project done that I've been working on for 3 weeks, so I had to find time to do that, too. MH's weekend went as follows:

Friday - dinner out
Saturday - horsetrack with friend, home for 20 minutes, housewarming party at another friends
Sunday - nap (seriously. he took a nap right after waking up), playing the guitar, gym, mowing, sitting on the couch, going to niece's bday party, sitting on couch, putting kids down while I work

All I got done this weekend was: solo parenting, dealing with roofers, working on project, and laundry. When I ask him this morning to do the dishes, he refuses saying that they're mine and I should do them. I still have a list of 15 things to do and he can't do ONE thing after being gone all weekend having fun. I was so pissed off that I told him if he didn't do the dishes, he can't come on our trip. Still feeling pretty serious about that actually...

[akafred]

Jun 26, 2017 6:50:48 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

akafred, That moving schedule would drive me insane! The couple times we've moved we've spent money on a UHaul instead of hiring movers. Cheaper and makes a world of difference to only need one or two trips instead of a million. Maybe your DH would do that?

Oh haha I should have said we actually do have movers coming on Saturday. They will move the furniture and all that stuff. He is just doing tons of smaller loads like pantry food, dishes, toys, etc. I do appreciate it but at the rate he is going the new house will fill up with nowhere to actually put the furniture lol.

[xctsclrx]

I have no vents today and I guess that is celebration in itself.

Also our new housekeeper is coming tomorrow. So excited!

[Covergirl82]

Vent: The weekend was so busy. I didn't get much of the normal things done.

Celebrations: 1) I made a huge step forward in my quest to declutter. We gave an old two-student school desk back to my parents, which cleared a whole wall in the playroom. I finally accepted that we weren't going to be able to sell our garage sale-leftovers from last summer, so we donated all of it (filled the cargo area of my Acadia), and now we have the space all cleared in the basement where that stuff was. I found some things to sell on my local FB garage sale and about half have been picked up.

2) We don't have daycare this week, so I'm working from home today, which is kind of a blessing. I can do laundry and have the kids do their chores.

3) My sister and I are going to a concert Thursday night, so I'm super excited for that.

4) Next week we are going camping in my parent's hometown, where we spend each 4th of July. It's one of my favorite times of the year. For a small town, they have one of the best parades I've ever been to and really good fireworks. Plus we get to see my favorite aunt and uncle. And we'll go to the beach, get ice cream, go shopping in the little stores, take the kids to the playground, etc.

[mommyatty]

akafred - One moving tip I've learned- even if you're moving the little stuff yourself- have one box that stays in your truck that has 1) sheets, 2) towels, 3) shower curtain if you don't have shower doors, 4) paper towels, 5) toilet paper,6) pajamas and changes of clothes for the next day.

Celebration- I bought a new tote that's more professional than my sturdy, wonderful backpack! I got it at the Kate Spade outlet after looking at the Cole Haan outlet. I came verrrrry close to buying a KS diaper bag for this purpose, and the guy in the store said lots of people actually use those for laptop bags or carry ons for the plane. I just wasn't sure the prints screamed "scary lawyer lady" like the plain black tote did. I may still go back.

Another celebration. Turns out there is a super-nice outlet mall literally 17 minutes from my house. Who knew?

Vent- Crazy work week this week. It's seriously nutso.

[supertrooper1]

Another vent. I'm just full of negativity. TIA for letting me get it out here.

Because I work with stupid coworkers that can't do their basic job, I now have to keep a log of all of the research and intel I do so my supervisor can evaluate what I'm working on. My supervisor told me that he probably won't look at my log, but I still have to keep up on it since he may look at it. It takes a lot of extra time to record this information.

The positive that came out of this: my second line supervisor said that if they went to the union to get the slugs kicked out of my office, it wouldn't be fair to use my work as a comparison because I do such great work.

[akafred]

Jun 26, 2017 8:12:20 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

akafred - One moving tip I've learned- even if you're moving the little stuff yourself- have one box that stays in your truck that has 1) sheets, 2) towels, 3) shower curtain if you don't have shower doors, 4) paper towels, 5) toilet paper,6) pajamas and changes of clothes for the next day.

We've actually already moved all these things except sheets (great idea!!!). Also chairs and snacks because gotta have somewhere to rest my ass and something to eat.

[saraml13]

Celebration: We had an awesome weekend. We drove up to ILs' lake house (90 minutes) Saturday morning on a weekend ILs' couldn't come. It was so much better without them. Besides MIL's general annoyingness, there's just always so much time spent sitting around debating what to do and then waiting for people to get motivated to actually do it, during which time the kids get restless and into trouble. The water was high and there was no actual beach this year, but the boys had a blast throwing rocks into the water off a deck and playing on a sandy overlook. We drove a couple towns over and found an awesome little roadside cafe. Had some relaxing time hanging out doing puzzles, going on walks, and playing in a little playground. Grilled burgers for dinner and went into town for ice cream. Watched the sunset and the boys were great even way past their bed times. Got yummy muffins for breakfast then went to a train museum / park to ride old steam engine trains. Came back in the late afternoon yesterday and went straight to BIL's graduation party, which had good BBQ.

Mini-vent: This lovely weekend brought to you courtesy of me. I packed for everyone, right down to remembering to bring DH's favorite drinks and some of our own coffee (because DH is a snob about things like not liking ILs' coffee), and loaded our small car up tetris style, found and researched the train museum, etc. And I'm the one who is going to spend the next couple days unpacking, sorting everything out, and doing a ton of laundry. But do I get anything more than passing credit? Nope.

[rere]

Vent - I am tired. Camping is not relaxing, so I wish I had one day to just chill. We leave for Panama City Beach next week, plus friends want to spend some time at their cabin this weekend. I feel like I live out of my suitcase this summer. It's fun, but I need some days just to chill and piddle. Plus my house is a wreck.

Also, for some reason, I can't get on this board on the web browser on my phone. It just keeps directing me back to the home page.

At least at work, this is a chill week. We don't have anything to do this week at night either, so maybe I can get some things done.

[erinshelley21]

Vents:
1. DS woke up with a bloody nose that managed to get blood all over his face, hands, shirt, shorts, his pillow and sheets and our pillow and sheets. It was his first bloody nose so it was a real doozy. DH used to get them all the time as a kid and still does every once in a while so this may be the start of it for DS.
2. The cleaning lady had to cancel due to car trouble. We were very close to offering to go pick her up.
3. I have not found a money tree or won the lottery yet.

Celebrations:
1. It's Monday and that means I get a small break from toddler tantrums.
2. My real pants still fit after a weekend of baaaaad eating.

[mae0111]

Celebration: It's my last week at work. I can't wait to get out of there. Company announced today that it's moving it's headquarters (which is where I worked) to a new, LEED-certified building. Sounds good, except that's a 15 minute walk from any public transportation. There is some parking available, but it's $40/day. And 15 minutes doesn't sound bad, but it's across a channel. Beautiful in the summer, so, so miserable in the winter. My team is so upset. I'm dancing a jig because I'm out of there and I saw this coming.

Vent: I'm scrambling a bit because it's my last week, and my usually very reliable nanny called in sick today. I have a bunch of personal/work related things to take care of this week, so I stacked myself up with wrap-up meetings today. I just moved them all to later in the week.

So I guess the anti-vent is that I'm heading to the playground with DD2 on a beautiful day!

[beachbum2]

supertrooper1, have you talked about your H spending a lot of time with this widow before? I feel like you have but I could be remembering wrong. Either way, if it have been a while since her H passed, I would start to feel uncomfortable with my H filing the shoes of her deceased husband. It's a tough position, but she needs to start setting herself up to be self sufficient.

freezorburn, That's annoying. I would go pick up the grill myself.

akafred, Sounds like maybe they want more time to reach a plea agreement. The judge will still have to approve the final agreement, hence the later "trial." That's just my guess.

Celebration: My SIL and BIL are in town with their three kids. My DD played SO well with them all weekend. This is the first time she has had cousins visit now that she is actually talking and able to run and play. It was the sweetest thing and I am so excited for her to have a sibling. Also, my sister who has two kids put out some job applications in our city this weekend.I never grew up near family so I'm living through DD.

[leap]

Vent: We are leaving to go to my family's lake house on Thursday. It's about a 20 hour drive. DH is on a fire assignment and may not be able to go with us so I'm looking at 3 days of driving by myself with 2 kids and a dog. I am dreading it.

Celebrations: I got so much done this weekend and the girls were really, really good and helpful.

[mustardseed2007]

akafred, it's possible that the prosecution offered him something. Some kind of plea arrangement if he does XYZ by ABC date.

This weekend was nice although we didn't swim at all, which I really wanted to do. It was raining until Sunday afternoon though, and by then we had plans to see Cars 3, which was a big hit with my DS...DD liked it but she was too young really and I had to leave the theater with her b/c she wanted to dance in the aisles. oh well.

[2chatter]

Celebration: my college roommate moved back and lives super close - we had a fun get together and our kids played super well together - it's been a couple years and WOW having older kids is so much easier!! I finally feel like I have a BFF who isn't neurotic close by!

Vent: DH doesn't reliably take his meds on weekends. So he's a big jerk at least half of the time. And sorry, but knowing why really doesn't help when he's freaking out at me about something totally stupid. I am back to avoiding him and making plans - he can join us or not, IDGAF. I feel like the kids and I are a family, and he's part of it when he's not an asshole, and when he is an asshole he's this person that just kills our flow.

Example - he said he would get the dog groomed (because two weeks ago he asked me to do it when I was taking DD to the doctor and I didn't jump - so clearly I'm incapable). He scheduled a mobile groomer for today. He's out of town. I'm facilitating a meeting and DD is a camp counselor at the time. He told DD to leave early that this was her responsibility. I told him over my dead body is my 13 year old getting into a van with some guy we don't know. He cancelled but this is also a demonstration of my failure to groom the dog (who has been groomed maybe twice in her 14 years). It's like I have a belligerent kid. Ugh.

[freezorburn]

beachbum2 yeah when I didn't have it back by midweek I actually messaged her on Thursday and offered to pick it up from her on Friday or Sunday, and then she said she would bring it to me Saturday or Sunday. So now I'm going to message her again and see if I can get it when I finish my day this afternoon. Wish me luck.

[sudokufan]

So on Friday, I got home a bit late and found an owl sitting on my drive way. He didn't move at all when I pulled in and parked my car. So we spent the rest of the evening calling rescue places (all of which either had v-mail only, or referred us to someone else). I was facing an hour drive to the nearest place Saturday morning, but I finally made contact with a nice lady 15 minutes away who had technically retired from rescue but took him anyway.

It was not the way I planned to spend the weekend, but he was really cute, and he's in good hands now:

[beachbum2]

sudokufan. What a beauty! Glad you were able to find someone to take care of it.

[supertrooper1]

beachbum2, yes he does spend a lot of time with her because they teach the same grade and she is technically his mentor even though they have been teaching the same number of years, but because he switched to her grade. I don't mind them spending time together, but lately it has started to interfere with our family. He missed DS's preschool end of the year performance because he was talking to her. He planned this yard work when it would interfere with our anniversary. It's been since March that she lost her H. I feel bad for her, but according to H, she is barely functioning. I don't know if that is just his excuse or what.

[traveltheworld]

We had a great weekend! At our pediatrician's appointment, DD measured 5th percentile for weight and 15th for height. So we are all relieved. DS had his piano recital. When he wasn't playing, he had to sit in the front with his other classmates, and DD wanted to go and sit with him, and he switched seats with another child so that he could sit at the aisle and have her sitting on the same chair as him. DD kept trying to hug and kiss him - DS looked both happy and slightly embarrassed. It was adorable. Then we went to the outdoor symphony and it was great.

Before we moved, we used to spend every weekend with friends and their kids. But now that we don't know anyone, the kids have been spending a lot more time playing with each other, and they are getting along way better.

[beachbum2]

supertrooper1, That is definitely a tough position for all of you to be in. March is still relatively recent so I could see her having the level of issues that she has. Still, your H should be considering the whole picture, including you and the kids, and avoiding becoming her main support system. I wouldn't hesitate to point out the red flags in the situation (but I also am the type of person who gets pissed at DH for cheating on me in my dreams...so I would say I have some insecurities).

ETA: fixed tag.