Week of July 24

[knx9211]

Jul 27, 2017 22:55:53 GMT -5 loira said:

Jul 27, 2017 17:04:05 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

I feel so guilty that I don't want to hold her constantly but I just need a break sometimes.  I was able to transfer her to her pack and play for a little while, thankfully.  E also gets up around 6 (but will sleep in her bassinet all night, yay).  We end up going a lot of walks around the neighborhood, because she's not sleepy anymore and she's not hungry, and there is only so much floor play she (and I) will tolerate.

Hugs to you. This was something I had a really hard time accepting. I thought once A was here I would want her with me, next to me, all the time. But the truth is I get tired and frustrated like any parent. I'm an introvert and I need time alone. It's hard to admit to myself as someone who struggled so much to get her here. Now that she's older and not so fragile, it's a little easier to say I need a break, but the guilt does sometimes resurface.

I could have written this. I had a complete meltdown yesterday. P's witching hour is when I'm making/eating dinner. He would not stop crying. I melted down to H about how bad of a mother I am because I worked so hard to get him here and I should be enjoying every minute. And instead I just got so mad at him. It was a bad day for me.

[knx9211]

You're all an amazing support system. P was an ANGEL until 2 weeks ago. This fussy thing is brand new. I hope it's short lived.

[grover]

Jul 28, 2017 9:39:52 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

You're all an amazing support system. P was an ANGEL until 2 weeks ago. This fussy thing is brand new. I hope it's short lived.

It was short lived for us. Hopefully it's the same for you as well.

Her favorite toy currently is the kick and play piano- from about 8 weeks on it's been her place to play independently. She can currently occupy herself there for a half hour- forty minutes, which is great when I'm trying to make dinner and feed the dogs at the same time.

[grover]

Jul 27, 2017 19:15:53 GMT -5 Chrysanthemum said:

Hey! I haven't check in for a few weeks, but I've been reading all the updates. Summer has gone by fast! I go back to work on Monday. C and I have had a fun and busy summer. He's visited 6 states so far, such a good traveler! We started PT for his gross motor and have seen huge improvements already. I hope the PT agrees when we see her again next week. Progress with solids is very inconsistent. I think he enjoys the power of refusal. The look on his face when he seals his lips and grins is hilarious! I hope the transition back into a FT working mom and daycare goes well. I "only" had 5 weeks off but I'm still a little nervous about it.

Good luck to you! I go back to teaching a week from Monday. I'm nervous about the transition, but ultimately, we need the income and I know she is better off with the socialization that daycare will give her.

[cactuscookie]

Maybe this is one advantage (hahahahaha oh god no) of having a colicky newborn - there was never any question of being a bad parent by needing a break, because, you know, being around her meant being screamed at, so of course we needed a break. I never felt guilty that I wasn't enjoying her, I just felt guilty that me getting a break meant that DH was getting screamed at instead.

I did (and still do) feel resentful about not getting to enjoy the tiny newborn phase at all though.

[awick14]

Thanx ladies. I feel extra guilty a lot because I have an easy baby. I think I feel this guilty because every time I mention something like ""DD didn't sleep well last night" or "DD is having a bad day", I always get you shouldn't complain when you have such an easy baby. 😞 I know it's all relative and I am really lucky but it just makes the guilt much worse.

thoseareradishes- the lady at the x-ray clinic said maybe today. But she's not sure because the x-rays need to go to the TB organization of BC/Canada so it can take an extra day or so, but at the same time because it's TB if it's positive they should notify us quickly. (If it's positive we will have to notify everyone that DD was in contact with and they will have to do the tests too, 😕)

[cactuscookie]

Jul 28, 2017 11:17:27 GMT -5 awick14 said:

Thanx ladies. I feel extra guilty a lot because I have an easy baby. I think I feel this guilty because every time I mention something like ""DD didn't sleep well last night" or "DD is having a bad day", I always get you shouldn't complain when you have such an easy baby. 😞 I know it's all relative and I am really lucky but it just makes the guilt much worse. 

Ack, I hope my post didn't make you feel worse. Easy babies are still a lot of work! Plus, I figure that you always get to complain about being up in the middle of the night. That shit is the worst.

[mpc]

My baby is "sleeping through the night" except that some nights she gets up an hour after I put her down and some nights she gets up an hour before my alarm and some nights she does both. My H is driving me nuts by saying those don't count. Last night I tried to go to bed early but she was crying 10 minutes after I laid down. This morning H says that didn't count since I wasn't actually asleep yet. BUT IT WAS STILL SLEEP THAT I MISSED OUT ON. I am exhausted. I'm also really nervous because my DS was STTN at this point, but then somewhere around 4.5 months he started waking up again and it got progressively worse and I about lost my mind and he didn't STTN again til after he turned 1.

I try not to feel guilty about leaving her to play on the playmat alone and stuff like that. I've never been able to sit and chat with babies for a long time, so maternity leave was pretty quiet in my house. I look at my DS and he seems to be turning out alright, lol, so I try to not worry about it. Sometimes when DD is getting fussy I will put her down cause I need a break, and then she'll get so damn happy looking at/playing with some toy and I think she probably needed a break too.

[loira]

Jul 28, 2017 8:39:01 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Jul 27, 2017 22:55:53 GMT -5 loira said:

Hugs to you. This was something I had a really hard time accepting. I thought once A was here I would want her with me, next to me, all the time. But the truth is I get tired and frustrated like any parent. I'm an introvert and I need time alone. It's hard to admit to myself as someone who struggled so much to get her here. Now that she's older and not so fragile, it's a little easier to say I need a break, but the guilt does sometimes resurface.

I could have written this. I had a complete meltdown yesterday. P's witching hour is when I'm making/eating dinner. He would not stop crying. I melted down to H about how bad of a mother I am because I worked so hard to get him here and I should be enjoying every minute. And instead I just got so mad at him. It was a bad day for me.

The bad days are hard. Like awick14, I had an easy baby so I also felt guilty complaining. But I don't function at all on lack of sleep. It basically eliminates any patience I might have had (and I'm not a particularly patient person). I remember one night before we sleep trained, A refused to go back to sleep after her 3am bottle. She would drift off a bit, and the second I put her down, she'd start crying again - just to spite me, no doubt . I got so mad that I started going around the apartment turning on lights, yelling "you want to be up? Fine! We'll stay up then!" H eventually intervened, and I drank a glass of wine and sobbed in the kitchen.

Lol, my mum told me yesterday, "I think, like me, you have a very low nurturing threshold." I was like, "so why did you have 3 kids again?" Mum: "I... don't know. But I managed to keep you all alive. I killed my houseplants, though." Hahahaha.

[riffraff]

Jul 25, 2017 9:54:13 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Jul 24, 2017 19:13:13 GMT -5 loira said:

dellabear , I'm curious, why did your doctor say bottles were bad? A still gets about 4 per day. She'll also drink out of a straw cup, so I don't see the harm developmentally, and she doesn't fall asleep with a bottle in her mouth so I doubt it's wrecking her teeth... I quite like it because I didn't breastfeed, so it's a special mama-baby cuddle time, but if it's terrible maybe I should stop.

My doctor also wanted us to stop bottles soon after she turned 1, and she didn't offer up a good reason at all. Everything I read online also seemed silly - mostly it supposed to be for their teeth, so...just brush her teeth, like you would for any other food? I didn't see the big deal. H's last bottle was at daycare between her lunch and her nap, so it wasn't like her teeth would be clean then anyway.

I'm lurking to check on you guys  

It's not for the cleanliness of their teeth, it's to keep them from coming in wrong, or causing issues while they come in. My mom is a dental hygienist, which is why I know

[cactuscookie]

Jul 28, 2017 12:41:07 GMT -5 loira said:

Jul 28, 2017 8:39:01 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

I could have written this. I had a complete meltdown yesterday. P's witching hour is when I'm making/eating dinner. He would not stop crying. I melted down to H about how bad of a mother I am because I worked so hard to get him here and I should be enjoying every minute. And instead I just got so mad at him. It was a bad day for me.

The bad days are hard. Like awick14 , I had an easy baby so I also felt guilty complaining. But I don't function at all on lack of sleep. It basically eliminates any patience I might have had (and I'm not a particularly patient person). I remember one night before we sleep trained, A refused to go back to sleep after her 3am bottle. She would drift off a bit, and the second I put her down, she'd start crying again - just to spite me, no doubt . I got so mad that I started going around the apartment turning on lights, yelling "you want to be up? Fine! We'll stay up then!" H eventually intervened, and I drank a glass of wine and sobbed in the kitchen.

Lol, my mum told me yesterday, "I think, like me, you have a very low nurturing threshold." I was like, "so why did you have 3 kids again?" Mum: "I... don't know. But I managed to keep you all alive. I killed my houseplants, though." Hahahaha.

We used to have to bounce on a yoga ball to get H to sleep, and there were times when she just wouldn't fall asleep. It was time for her to be tired, she was fussy, but she'd just stare and stare and stare and not fall asleep. It was so frustrating. So after one of these sessions, DH had given up and was unswaddling her and said, "I'm just so tired of her bullshit!" It wasn't funny right then, but it cracks me up now. Tired of this 10-pound baby's bullshit.

[starryfish]

Jul 27, 2017 15:37:09 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Jul 27, 2017 13:22:47 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

knx9211 , I'm right there with you. E is such a crank some days. Of course she doesn't want to sleep in her swing anymore, just on one of us. I'm so nervous about next week when H goes back to work and I don't have a second set of hands around. I just need to eat, go to the bathroom, pump, and wash bottles kid. Just give me enough time to do that!

Ugh I tried to pump earlier because we're going to dinner Saturday for DH's birthday and my mom is watching him. I got about 3 minutes in when he took a giant dump and then started freaking out. Thanks, kiddo. He sleeps really well when I first put him down. Last night, 9-2. Back down at 3. But no matter what time he's back down, he's up between 5-6 and won't sleep anymore unless it's on me. I like the snuggles but would love if he slept better in the morning.

Im sorry. Good thing he is super cute. Can you try wearing him so he is close to you but you can get stuff done?

[starryfish]

Jul 27, 2017 22:55:53 GMT -5 loira said:

Jul 27, 2017 17:04:05 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

I feel so guilty that I don't want to hold her constantly but I just need a break sometimes.  I was able to transfer her to her pack and play for a little while, thankfully.  E also gets up around 6 (but will sleep in her bassinet all night, yay).  We end up going a lot of walks around the neighborhood, because she's not sleepy anymore and she's not hungry, and there is only so much floor play she (and I) will tolerate.

Hugs to you. This was something I had a really hard time accepting. I thought once A was here I would want her with me, next to me, all the time. But the truth is I get tired and frustrated like any parent. I'm an introvert and I need time alone. It's hard to admit to myself as someone who struggled so much to get her here. Now that she's older and not so fragile, it's a little easier to say I need a break, but the guilt does sometimes resurface.

This is me too 110%

[starryfish]

Jul 28, 2017 10:01:36 GMT -5 grover said:

Jul 28, 2017 9:39:52 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

You're all an amazing support system. P was an ANGEL until 2 weeks ago. This fussy thing is brand new. I hope it's short lived.

It was short lived for us. Hopefully it's the same for you as well.

Her favorite toy currently is the kick and play piano- from about 8 weeks on it's been her place to play independently. She can currently occupy herself there for a half hour- forty minutes, which is great when I'm trying to make dinner and feed the dogs at the same time.

This was the BEST toy ever from 2m-7m, she lOVED it. We called it the babysitter bc she would be happy for 30+ minutes at a time. Now her favorite toy is the fisher price rainforest jumperoo. 

[starryfish]

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn't need to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

[pooh8402]

Jul 28, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn'tneed to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

We started with Ferber, but checks pissed him off more, so we went to extinction very quickly.


To all the new mamas, I had all the same feelings. They're NORMAL! Even when it took so long for you to get your baby. E was a high needs baby too. He had reflux, but wasn't diagnosed until 9 weeks, so we had a rough go of it for a while. Fortunately, he did like the rock n play, so I utilized that when I needed to be hands free or just not touching another human being for a while.

[awick14]

Jul 28, 2017 11:50:40 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Jul 28, 2017 11:17:27 GMT -5 awick14 said:

Thanx ladies. I feel extra guilty a lot because I have an easy baby. I think I feel this guilty because every time I mention something like ""DD didn't sleep well last night" or "DD is having a bad day", I always get you shouldn't complain when you have such an easy baby. 😞 I know it's all relative and I am really lucky but it just makes the guilt much worse. 

Ack, I hope my post didn't make you feel worse. Easy babies are still a lot of work! Plus, I figure that you always get to complain about being up in the middle of the night. That shit is the worst.

No it didn't make me feel worse at all. 🙂 I just get so much backlash mainly from my ils because my niece has autism and was/is a really hard baby/kid. So I can't say anything about much around them. Everything gets compared to my niece and it's frustrating. DH and I are not the least bit sad that we are moving out of town in the fall.

[cactuscookie]

Jul 28, 2017 13:28:23 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Jul 28, 2017 10:01:36 GMT -5 grover said:

It was short lived for us. Hopefully it's the same for you as well.

Her favorite toy currently is the kick and play piano- from about 8 weeks on it's been her place to play independently. She can currently occupy herself there for a half hour- forty minutes, which is great when I'm trying to make dinner and feed the dogs at the same time.

This was the BEST toy ever from 2m-7m, she lOVED it. We called it the babysitter bc she would be happy for 30+ minutes at a time. Now her favorite toy is the fisher price rainforest jumperoo. 

Omg, I loved the jumperoo, it was so dang cute.

H was never been really drawn to the Kick and Play piano when she was a baby. I keep it in the car now, so she can kick it when she's in the carseat, which she likes.

[cactuscookie]

Jul 28, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn't need to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

We did Ferber. How many nights did you try the crib? She might have just a needed a few nights to get used to it. Still, a few nights of waking up several times sucks, I know.

[starryfish]

Jul 28, 2017 13:40:39 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Jul 28, 2017 13:28:23 GMT -5 starryfish said:

This was the BEST toy ever from 2m-7m, she lOVED it. We called it the babysitter bc she would be happy for 30+ minutes at a time. Now her favorite toy is the fisher price rainforest jumperoo. 

Omg, I loved the jumperoo, it was so dang cute.

H was never been really drawn to the Kick and Play piano when she was a baby. I keep it in the car now, so she can kick it when she's in the carseat, which she likes.

OMG genius! I am going to use that idea (car for the piano)

[starryfish]

Jul 28, 2017 13:42:19 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Jul 28, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn't need to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

We did Ferber. How many nights did you try the crib? She might have just a needed a few nights to get used to it. Still, a few nights of waking up several times sucks, I know.

We did 4 nights before I was done with her waking up 2-4times a night when she was down to 0-1 not in crib. 

BUT we have to move her soon as she is getting too big for it, so I think I am going to do it next weekend when my DH is out of town, bc he was the "weak" one who went and got her after she cried. 

[grover]

Jul 28, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn't need to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

We follow the MOC schedule. Though I think they recommend three times of pacifier replacement and shushing, A has almost always fallen asleep after fussing/sometimes crying in 6 minutes.

[starryfish]

Jul 28, 2017 13:46:28 GMT -5 grover said:

Jul 28, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Those who have slept trained their babies-what program did you use? S has been sleeping elevated in a bouncer or RNP since birth (doctors orders until 8m old). We will be transitioning her to her crib soon (tried a few weeks ago but failed lol). She is currently STTN mostly so I know she doesn't need to eat overnight, but in the crib (when we tried) she woke up several times a night. Do I just need to let her CIO? Tips?

We follow the MOC schedule. Though I think they recommend three times of pacifier replacement and shushing, A has almost always fallen asleep after fussing/sometimes crying in 6 minutes.

No paci for S, she sucks her thumb. First night she cried 12 minutes before my DH went and got her. 

I heard from my cousin that her baby cried 45 minutes first night and then less and less each night after. I just need to suck it up and do it while my DH is gone. 

[knx9211]

Jul 28, 2017 13:24:21 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Jul 27, 2017 15:37:09 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Ugh I tried to pump earlier because we're going to dinner Saturday for DH's birthday and my mom is watching him. I got about 3 minutes in when he took a giant dump and then started freaking out. Thanks, kiddo. He sleeps really well when I first put him down. Last night, 9-2. Back down at 3. But no matter what time he's back down, he's up between 5-6 and won't sleep anymore unless it's on me. I like the snuggles but would love if he slept better in the morning.

Im sorry. Good thing he is super cute. Can you try wearing him so he is close to you but you can get stuff done?

I have. He didn't want to

[loira]

starryfish, we just did CIO. A was an okay sleeper to begin with, but I wanted to be able to put her down and have her fall asleep on her own without rocking or shushing. She cried for 20 minutes the first night, and less each subsequent night for a total of maybe 5 nights? We just did it at bedtime and that also helped her with going back to sleep quickly MOTN. Once she got into the falling asleep by herself routine, we were able to use it for naps, too. Now I just chuck her into her crib and that's that. She didn't STTN (12 hours) until she was about 14 months, but before then it was usually just one wakeup for a drink and straight back to sleep, which I could deal with. However, I want to reiterate that she was an okay sleeper to start. I've had lots of friends who've needed to employ a much stricter sleep training routine, and it took their babies a couple of weeks to get used to it.

[starryfish]

loira thank you. S is a good sleeper right now, she just needs to learn to get comfy in the crib. I think we will just do cio bc the checks didn't help last time.

[Chrysanthemum]

starryfish, C likes his FP jumperoo too! Strangely though, he hasn't figured out he can jump in it. He just plays with all the toys. Does your daughter actually bounce/jump?

And ditto to all the post-TTTC mommy guilt.

[thoseareradishes]

mpc, I struggle with talking to E too. I think it might be easier once H goes back to work, because I will feel less silly.

knx9211, yup, I feel the exact same way. She actually gets hoarse sometimes, it breaks my heart but I know she is in her witching hour and just blowing off steam. It's so hard when nothing you do soothes them.

[starryfish]

Jul 28, 2017 17:00:53 GMT -5 Chrysanthemum said:

starryfish, C likes his FP jumperoo too! Strangely though, he hasn't figured out he can jump in it. He just plays with all the toys. Does your daughter actually bounce/jump?

And ditto to all the post-TTTC mommy guilt.

Yes she bounces like crazy. She will fuss in it and still be bouncing, or when you go pick her up she raises her arms up to be picked up but doesn't stop bouncing lol

[cactuscookie]

Jul 28, 2017 17:00:53 GMT -5 Chrysanthemum said:

starryfish, C likes his FP jumperoo too! Strangely though, he hasn't figured out he can jump in it. He just plays with all the toys. Does your daughter actually bounce/jump?

And ditto to all the post-TTTC mommy guilt.

H didn't bounce in our at first, just played with the toys. The bouncing is the cutest, but anything that distracts her is fine by me.