Good morning....FFFC, anyone??

[audg]

May 18, 2012 10:28:58 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I have been somewhat seriously contemplating being FWB with trainer guy...yes this is going to get me flamed and I am prepared...

I dont want to date right now (I am on a dating break starting on Sunday) but I still want to get some, and I figure since I have already seen him naked, it will work out well.

Why would this get you flamed? (I don't know the back story of "trainer guy") But, hey.. I hear that! I'm on the same page as you! :Y:

[callunafirefly]

May 18, 2012 10:32:17 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

May 18, 2012 10:13:59 GMT -5 BookLover said:

My dog may have cancer. He is going into his 2nd surgery today to remove another tumor. If it is cancer, I don't have the ability to keep getting him surgeries to remove it. He may die in 7 months. I feel like a horrible doggy mommy.

You are NOT a horrible mommy! It is tough to make those choices but you can only do what you can. You are doing more than a lot of other people would!

I don't think its horrible. My dog got cancer and died last August. He was 11 (large breed) and I really couldnt afford the treatments. The vet understood and we put him on steroids, and some other medicine to keep him happy. He lived about 7months. He was pretty happy up until 2 days prior to me taking him in...They don't understand cancer. Just keep him pain free.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 10:33:49 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

May 18, 2012 10:28:58 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I have been somewhat seriously contemplating being FWB with trainer guy...yes this is going to get me flamed and I am prepared...

I dont want to date right now (I am on a dating break starting on Sunday) but I still want to get some, and I figure since I have already seen him naked, it will work out well.

Did I miss a good story? You've already seen him naked? My only reservation about the situation is what if things go sour...are you still going to feel comfortable going to your box? Because if you really like the one you're at it would suck to have to find a new one.

That crossfit is a different guy. The trainer guy is a triathlete/runner who I swim/train with. Short backstory: we met on POF 3+ months ago and hung out/trained occasionally. Well the past month its been a lot more hanging out and training. He finally made a move (hence the naked part) and we talked after but he doesnt want a relationship right now. So its flameful bc I did want a relationship with him, he didnt, and now I am willing (still debating) to maybe just do the FWB with him...

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 10:33:22 GMT -5 doriswe said:

May 18, 2012 10:31:21 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Eh, if you really think that you can do it without an emotional connection then I won't flame you. I just don't want you to get hurt.

I agree with this....but you've already sort of said you were interested in him in a more than FWB way and I'd be afraid you would start off as FWB but then find yourself still feeling more for him, kwim?

yea that is what is currently holding me back...

[BookLover]

May 18, 2012 10:34:40 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

May 18, 2012 10:32:17 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

You are NOT a horrible mommy! It is tough to make those choices but you can only do what you can. You are doing more than a lot of other people would!

I don't think its horrible. My dog got cancer and died last August. He was 11 (large breed) and I really couldnt afford the treatments. The vet understood and we put him on steroids, and some other medicine to keep him happy. He lived about 7months. He was pretty happy up until 2 days prior to me taking him in...They don't understand cancer. Just keep him pain free.

Thanks. I just feel like poo over it all. He's only 6 years old and he was my guard dog when my ex was a shithead and tried to do stuff to me. I just wish I could do more for him.

[blackkitty]

May 18, 2012 10:32:15 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

May 18, 2012 10:14:41 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I met a new guy yesterday. Last night he told me he loved me.

Is there more to this? Was he drunk?

Nothing else to the story, he wasn't drunk. He was at work. He's just smitten.

[bullygirl979]

May 18, 2012 10:40:57 GMT -5 BookLover said:

May 18, 2012 10:34:40 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

I don't think its horrible. My dog got cancer and died last August. He was 11 (large breed) and I really couldnt afford the treatments. The vet understood and we put him on steroids, and some other medicine to keep him happy. He lived about 7months. He was pretty happy up until 2 days prior to me taking him in...They don't understand cancer. Just keep him pain free.

Thanks. I just feel like poo over it all. He's only 6 years old and he was my guard dog when my ex was a shithead and tried to do stuff to me. I just wish I could do more for him.

Just love him and treat him well. That is enough!

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 10:36:40 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 10:33:49 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

Did I miss a good story? You've already seen him naked? My only reservation about the situation is what if things go sour...are you still going to feel comfortable going to your box? Because if you really like the one you're at it would suck to have to find a new one.

That crossfit is a different guy. The trainer guy is a triathlete/runner who I swim/train with. Short backstory: we met on POF 3+ months ago and hung out/trained occasionally. Well the past month its been a lot more hanging out and training. He finally made a move (hence the naked part) and we talked after but he doesnt want a relationship right now. So its flameful bc I did want a relationship with him, he didnt, and now I am willing (still debating) to maybe just do the FWB with him...

Oh, ok. Gotcha...I got the stories mixed up.

I would say if you would potentially want to date trainer guy, then don't do a FWB thing. No matter what you tell yourself now, your feelings will get involved and you'll want more.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 10:43:42 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

May 18, 2012 10:36:40 GMT -5 starryfish said:

That crossfit is a different guy. The trainer guy is a triathlete/runner who I swim/train with. Short backstory: we met on POF 3+ months ago and hung out/trained occasionally. Well the past month its been a lot more hanging out and training. He finally made a move (hence the naked part) and we talked after but he doesnt want a relationship right now. So its flameful bc I did want a relationship with him, he didnt, and now I am willing (still debating) to maybe just do the FWB with him...

Oh, ok. Gotcha...I got the stories mixed up.

I would say if you would potentially want to date trainer guy, then don't do a FWB thing. No matter what you tell yourself now, your feelings will get involved and you'll want more.

Ugh...i know....but i WANT some...lol....i probably wont do it...

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 10:45:20 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 10:43:42 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

Oh, ok. Gotcha...I got the stories mixed up.

I would say if you would potentially want to date trainer guy, then don't do a FWB thing. No matter what you tell yourself now, your feelings will get involved and you'll want more.

Ugh...i know....but i WANT some...lol....i probably wont do it...

Trust me....no one understands your pain better than I!!!! You just need to find someone who you think is hot, but you also think he's kind of a prick...that way you'll want nothing more than a FWB arrangement with him. LOL

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 10:41:24 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

May 18, 2012 10:32:15 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

Is there more to this? Was he drunk?

Nothing else to the story, he wasn't drunk. He was at work. He's just smitten.

BK - I can't tell if you're kidding or not. This is not something to be flattered by. It's a huge red flag!

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 10:48:13 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

May 18, 2012 10:45:20 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Ugh...i know....but i WANT some...lol....i probably wont do it...

Trust me....no one understands your pain better than I!!!! You just need to find someone who you think is hot, but you also think he's kind of a prick...that way you'll want nothing more than a FWB arrangement with him. LOL

lol....well actually I think trainer guy is sort of a jerk for what he did to me....so I really dont like him that much anymore bc what he did was crummy and a prick move....so does that qualify?

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 10:49:43 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 10:48:13 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

Trust me....no one understands your pain better than I!!!! You just need to find someone who you think is hot, but you also think he's kind of a prick...that way you'll want nothing more than a FWB arrangement with him. LOL

lol....well actually I think trainer guy is sort of a jerk for what he did to me....so I really dont like him that much anymore bc what he did was crummy and a prick move....so does that qualify?

Hmmmm...I dunno. Possibly. Do you guys still train together? That would make it kind of tricky. I think if you're going to do a FWB thing, you should cut off all other contact aside from getting it on when you need it.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 10:56:37 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

May 18, 2012 10:49:43 GMT -5 starryfish said:

lol....well actually I think trainer guy is sort of a jerk for what he did to me....so I really dont like him that much anymore bc what he did was crummy and a prick move....so does that qualify?

Hmmmm...I dunno. Possibly. Do you guys still train together? That would make it kind of tricky. I think if you're going to do a FWB thing, you should cut off all other contact aside from getting it on when you need it.

lol. I thought I would get bonus points for trying!

We havent trained together since the "talk." We usually just swam together but i really dont need to swim anymore since I am not training for a tri anymore (he is). I just crossfit (which he doesnt) and run (which he does, but we have never run together).

[BookLover]

May 18, 2012 10:41:24 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

May 18, 2012 10:32:15 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

Is there more to this? Was he drunk?

Nothing else to the story, he wasn't drunk. He was at work. He's just smitten.

That's a clinger. I know I would get the hell out of Dodge with that one.

[BookLover]

May 18, 2012 10:43:01 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

May 18, 2012 10:40:57 GMT -5 BookLover said:

Thanks. I just feel like poo over it all. He's only 6 years old and he was my guard dog when my ex was a shithead and tried to do stuff to me. I just wish I could do more for him.

Just love him and treat him well. That is enough!

I'm already thinking of ways to spoil him rotten, just in case.

[missbetty1]

I think I'm getting internet overload between being slightly addicted to this board and now online dating, I feel like I need at least a week off from the internet, I've already deleted my FB account...

[blackkitty]

May 18, 2012 10:49:03 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

May 18, 2012 10:41:24 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Nothing else to the story, he wasn't drunk. He was at work. He's just smitten.

BK - I can't tell if you're kidding or not. This is not something to be flattered by. It's a huge red flag!

Kidding about what? About him saying that? No I would not make that up. And I'm not sure where I said I was flattered.

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 11:12:36 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

May 18, 2012 10:49:03 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

BK - I can't tell if you're kidding or not. This is not something to be flattered by. It's a huge red flag!

Kidding about what? About him saying that? No I would not make that up. And I'm not sure where I said I was flattered.

I totally believe he said he loved you, and you didn't say you were flattered. But you didn't say it freaked you out either, so I couldn't tell where you stood on the issue.

[turtle1120]

May 18, 2012 11:00:52 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 10:56:37 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

Hmmmm...I dunno. Possibly. Do you guys still train together? That would make it kind of tricky. I think if you're going to do a FWB thing, you should cut off all other contact aside from getting it on when you need it.

lol. I thought I would get bonus points for trying!

We havent trained together since the "talk." We usually just swam together but i really dont need to swim anymore since I am not training for a tri anymore (he is). I just crossfit (which he doesnt) and run (which he does, but we have never run together).

You can have all the bonus points you want! I'd just say proceed with caution and be careful not to fall for him. Have fun and report back with steamy details!

[redredwine]

I'm convinced that T (the guy I've been seeing) either
A. is gay
B. has some crazy STD
C. has "performance issues

due to the weird no-sex thing.

Of COURSE it has to be something because I really like everything else about him, almost to a tee.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 11:35:04 GMT -5 redredwine said:

I'm convinced that T (the guy I've been seeing) either
A. is gay
B. has some crazy STD
C. has "performance issues

due to the weird no-sex thing.

Of COURSE it has to be something because I really like everything else about him, almost to a tee.

Have you not talked to him at ALL about the no sex thing? Have you had the "disease" talk?

[Deleted]

Mine is probably very flame worthy, but I suppose that is the point.

Someone last night asked me how long I was going to wear my wedding ring before I took it off. I told them to go fuck themselves in front of a large group of people, and my current boyfriend. Why?
My husband of a year died in an auto accident shortly after our first anniversary. Before we were married, we had been engaged for about three years, and before that we knew each other since childhood. He was one of my best friends, and will always be. Do I love my current boyfriend? Of course, but am I going to keep wearing my ring since it is simple and a pleasant reminder of my friend? Hell yeah.
As to why I reacted that way?
It was someone who knew what had happened, knew my husband, was there at the funeral, and has made many comments before of how I "need to forget him and move on." I'm sorry, I wasn't aware remembering a dear friend who was also my husband in a positive way, which doesn't bother my current boyfriend, was "not moving on."

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 11:46:18 GMT -5 @thepaingame said:

Mine is probably very flame worthy, but I suppose that is the point.

Someone last night asked me how long I was going to wear my wedding ring before I took it off. I told them to go fuck themselves in front of a large group of people, and my current boyfriend. Why?
My husband of a year died in an auto accident shortly after our first anniversary. Before we were married, we had been engaged for about three years, and before that we knew each other since childhood. He was one of my best friends, and will always be. Do I love my current boyfriend? Of course, but am I going to keep wearing my ring since it is simple and a pleasant reminder of my friend? Hell yeah.
As to why I reacted that way?
It was someone who knew what had happened, knew my husband, was there at the funeral, and has made many comments before of how I "need to forget him and move on." I'm sorry, I wasn't aware remembering a dear friend who was also my husband in a positive way, which doesn't bother my current boyfriend, was "not moving on."

Are you wearing it on your ring finger? If so, then yea, I dont think thats good.

I could understand moving it to your right hand and wearing it there.

[Deleted]

May 18, 2012 11:49:58 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 11:46:18 GMT -5 @thepaingame said:

Mine is probably very flame worthy, but I suppose that is the point.

Someone last night asked me how long I was going to wear my wedding ring before I took it off. I told them to go fuck themselves in front of a large group of people, and my current boyfriend. Why?
My husband of a year died in an auto accident shortly after our first anniversary. Before we were married, we had been engaged for about three years, and before that we knew each other since childhood. He was one of my best friends, and will always be. Do I love my current boyfriend? Of course, but am I going to keep wearing my ring since it is simple and a pleasant reminder of my friend? Hell yeah.
As to why I reacted that way?
It was someone who knew what had happened, knew my husband, was there at the funeral, and has made many comments before of how I "need to forget him and move on." I'm sorry, I wasn't aware remembering a dear friend who was also my husband in a positive way, which doesn't bother my current boyfriend, was "not moving on."

Are you wearing it on your ring finger? If so, then yea, I dont think thats good.

I could understand moving it to your right hand and wearing it there.

I should have been clearer, I had it resized for my pointer finger. It really doesn't even look like a wedding ring, either. Just a simple white gold band.
I guess my point is that my current boyfriend has no problems with it, and has actually suggested I was it as a pendant for a necklace or something. I'm tempted to do so.

[redredwine]

May 18, 2012 11:37:47 GMT -5 starryfish said:

May 18, 2012 11:35:04 GMT -5 redredwine said:

I'm convinced that T (the guy I've been seeing) either
A. is gay
B. has some crazy STD
C. has "performance issues

due to the weird no-sex thing.

Of COURSE it has to be something because I really like everything else about him, almost to a tee.

Have you not talked to him at ALL about the no sex thing? Have you had the "disease" talk?

I talked to him a little bit...we were both pretty drunk on Tuesday night, so we started fooling around and both admitted that neither one of us was going to get "there". and then I said "Um, I'm starting to take offense that you haven't slept with me yet" and he laughed and was like "OH, well, we didn't have a condom last time" and I said "No, last time you totally fell asleep" and he said "OH, yah, I was sooo tired". And then he said his sex drive has waned the past few years...so I kinda just dropped it at that poitn and passed out anyways.
I'm going to bring it up again (and tell him "Dude...I think you're gay, have a disease or are sleeping with other people and don't want to have too many partners at once) the next time we see each other. I figure a non-drunk discussion about it is better.

So, we talked about it a bit. But now I need to talk about it for real.

[formerlyak]

BF is having my engagement ring made. I know it's coming. I was helping a friend look at dresses for her sister's wedding on a website, and noticed that the dress I want that is regular price $700 was $140 (I posted it on the nest before the big move to this board). I was telling bf about this and he said I should order it in a bigger size, put it in the top part of our closet and then get it altered right before the wedding next summer. I am very tempted to do this ... I figure for $140 even if I change my mind about the dress, I can sell it on ebay and not much has been lost.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 11:56:43 GMT -5 @thepaingame said:

May 18, 2012 11:49:58 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Are you wearing it on your ring finger? If so, then yea, I dont think thats good.

I could understand moving it to your right hand and wearing it there.

I should have been clearer, I had it resized for my pointer finger. It really doesn't even look like a wedding ring, either. Just a simple white gold band.
I guess my point is that my current boyfriend has no problems with it, and has actually suggested I was it as a pendant for a necklace or something. I'm tempted to do so.

Then I have no problem with this. Guy was a jerk.

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 12:00:14 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

BF is having my engagement ring made. I know it's coming. I was helping a friend look at dresses for her sister's wedding on a website, and noticed that the dress I want that is regular price $700 was $140 (I posted it on the nest before the big move to this board). I was telling bf about this and he said I should order it in a bigger size, put it in the top part of our closet and then get it altered right before the wedding next summer. I am very tempted to do this ... I figure for $140 even if I change my mind about the dress, I can sell it on ebay and not much has been lost.

do it! Post a pic! :-)

[starryfish]

May 18, 2012 11:57:13 GMT -5 redredwine said:

May 18, 2012 11:37:47 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Have you not talked to him at ALL about the no sex thing? Have you had the "disease" talk?

I talked to him a little bit...we were both pretty drunk on Tuesday night, so we started fooling around and both admitted that neither one of us was going to get "there". and then I said "Um, I'm starting to take offense that you haven't slept with me yet" and he laughed and was like "OH, well, we didn't have a condom last time" and I said "No, last time you totally fell asleep" and he said "OH, yah, I was sooo tired". And then he said his sex drive has waned the past few years...so I kinda just dropped it at that poitn and passed out anyways.
I'm going to bring it up again (and tell him "Dude...I think you're gay, have a disease or are sleeping with other people and don't want to have too many partners at once) the next time we see each other. I figure a non-drunk discussion about it is better.

So, we talked about it a bit. But now I need to talk about it for real.

Yea definitely have a talk next time...but i am leaning towards option c for the reason....