Open Letter Wednesday

[saraml13]

It is Wednesday, right?

[twinmomma]

Dear tax guy,
I think you're fired. How the hell did you mess up our taxes and make it look like DH worked for both companies and I stayed home?! I make TWICE as much as DH! Not complaining about the extra cash headed our way thanks to this screw up, but really not pleased that it happened at all. Also, how was I dumb enough to not notice when I signed all that crap? But don't I pay you to figure this out for me?
Signed,
I hate taxes

[saraml13]

Dear DH,
I have no idea how you function as an adult without me. At what point enroute to your important work trip to Canada would you have realized that you needed your passport, if I hadn't asked you if you had it while you were literally walking out the door?

Signed,
You're lucky you have me around

Dear DS2,
I'm glad you are getting all of these (relatively minor) illnesses out of the way while I am not working. But could you maybe try to stay healthy for more than 2 weeks at a time?
Signed,
Mommy

Dear DH's BFF,
I am still bitter about the Oreos in place of cake at your wedding. I'd be less annoyed if you hadn't had 8 bridesmaid and a flower girl, all with giant rose bouquets.
Signed,
Cake lover

[katrine05]

Dear DS,
Please eat today. Breaks my heart that you went on a hunger strike yesterday at daycare. I know you aren't happy about this change but you will have so much fun there! Loved our cuddles after work.
Signed,
Mommy who loves you so much

[rere]

Dear class,

I was not impressed with you last week. You are upperclassman, not middle schoolers. Act like it, or its going to be a long, not fun year.

Dear ds,

Sorry you are sick and miserable. I'm pretty sure your father catering to you with McDonald's, movies, etc. the last two days had helped.

Signed, mom.

[Covergirl82]

Dear MIL,

Why do you have to be so weird? Sending DH hard copies in the mail of texts (ETA: she literally put her phone on a copier to make the copies) SIL (your daughter) and BIL (your son-in-law) sent to you is so strange. I understand you and SIL's relationship is on the rocks right now (and surprisingly I'm tending to side with you on the whole situation), but DH has already given you advice/his thoughts on how he thinks you should handle everything, so you don't need to keep bugging him about it. If you need something to occupy your time, please get a job.

Signed,
DIL who again really wishes your sister was my MIL

saraml13 ,
Yeah, Oreos and milk for a wedding dessert - the only dessert - is super weird. They could've had that AND cake, or had an Oreo cake, but I agree that just Oreos and milk makes it seem like they were being super cheap.
Signed,
All my sorries (covergirl82)

[justcheckingin73]

saraml13, I can't believe they did Oreos in place of literally almost anything else. I felt like I was cheating when I brought a tray of pre-packaged cookies to our neighborhood potluck. And these were mostly people I did not know.

Dear coworkers,

Please stop asking me for one-off stuff. I can only do so much. It seems like every day I come in, there is another request for an email or a webinar. Today it is a newsletter...sigh. I do all of the backend work myself so even if I have everything, it takes me 2+ hours just to set it all up. And that's if things are working. And don't bother asking about all of the other work I put aside to get this to you in record time.

Signed,

I just had 4 days off by myself and I'm exhausted after 2 days of work



Dear self,

It's time to start honoring your intuition. When you feel like you need to have a Plan B or be at a webinar that starts at 4 am, even though they said you didn't need you to be there. Just do it anyway. Background - I scheduled a webinar for one of my colleagues who is in London. He's the channel manager and this was for the channel so he said I didn't need to be there. We chose not to get an event assistant for this. Big mistake. The link I gave him (that said - to start the webinar...) didn't work. So he called me at 3:49 am my time for help. Btw - I don't blame him for doing that. I'm just upset that I didn't realize all of the steps I had to take to start the webinar for him. Usually the assistant does it. Lesson - just get the assistant.

Signed,

I need a nap

[traveltheworld]

Dear Self,

It's time to get back to exercising and eating healthy again. You cannot afford a new wardrobe when you just bought one 5 months ago!

Signed,
Slightly ashamed self

[mommyatty]

Dear People on this Call:

Oh My God. I am not sure I've ever been so bored in my entire life. Three hours is too long for a phone call.

MommyAtty

Dear Son:

Great job keeping dry the last two nights. Now if only your older sister's body would figure out how to do that.

Mommy Who Is Sick of Pull-Ups

Dear Daughter's Teacher:

I'm going to have to call you to get the info from Meet the Teacher. I was out of town and apparently DH absorbed nothing beyond "Her Teacher wants everyone there 15 minutes before school starts and I'm pissed off because that's on me."

Sorry and thanks for your patience!
Mommy With Hubs Who Failed this Task

[186momx]

justcheckingin73, I'm sorry...can you nap during your lunchtime?
saraml13, If I'm sitting at a birthday party or wedding I want cake or cupcakes. Oreos...yuck

Dear DD and Mrs. J
I'm glad the 1st day was so awesome. The ClassDojo picture and recap of the day for DD was super cute and is making all my nerves go away. I really hope the whole year is as awesome as day 1.
Happy Mom

Dear Century Link
Please actually fix my line problem so I can have internet. The problem is on your end and you need to dig up the road to fix it. The only reason you are coming tomorrow between 8-12 is because I called furious as you hadn't been back to fix your jury rig and the neighbor got pissed and cut the jury rig you set up. I really want a nice credit on my account for all this added crap.
Me who thinks maybe Comcast and resetting stuff all the time was better.

[justcheckingin73]

186momx , I was thinking about it but just wrote out everything I have to do in the next 3 days and I'm overwhelmed. I'll probably crash about 3:00. 

ETA: we've had similar issues with our internet. Xfinity keeps putting bandaids on it but they really need to replace everything. 

[186momx]

justcheckingin73, Century Link just came into our area so we have new lines coming in but it uses existing phone lines and the phone line from the main phone box on our road is rotted and useless. The frustrating part is they told me about 2 weeks after the initial tech came out beginning of August that they would have it fixed and now we are in September and they haven't even had the city do the line locate yet. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be another jury rig and a big waste of time for me and the tech as we could go out and splice the cut line back together myself.

[greenmonkey1]

mommyatty DS1, who has been potty trained for two years (he is 5), wet not only his bed last night, but ours as well. Apparently he "forgot" to go to the bathroom when I told him to before he got into our bed. Usually I would make sure he did, but I was getting him dry pants. Cannot blame him because it's not like he tries to, but oy. I have a lot of laundry today.....

[Covergirl82]

traveltheworld, you can do it! I just started exercising again regularly and really focusing on eating healthy because my clothes are also getting a bit tight.

I have another one...

Dear HR Business Partners and HR Generalists,

WTF??!! September is our busiest month in my department (sub-department within the HR function), and we've received more requests for new jobs this month than the past few months combined. It would be really great if you could actually do some blocking/tackling to help keep the job requests at a minimum this month, but apparently all you want to do is be a "yes" person for your client groups.

Sincerely,
I have half a mind to delete your merit increases for being a-holes

[HeartofCheese]

Dear saraml13 ,

Last I remember, you were doing a final interview for a job?

Signed,
WPs in solidarity for all Ps to be W


Dear me,

Why do you feel so wonky? Is stress giving you hypochondria or are your busted-eye-vessel, strange-neck-lump, and weakness actual physical symptoms? Or is it a 3-day hangover? At least you know that alcoholism is not for you.

Sincerely,
Divorce-drinking is not going to be a thing

ETA: I drank *4* beers, WPs! Four! College-me is so disappointed that mom-me isn't enjoying herself more in her old age.

[erinshelley21]

Dear DH,
While I'm glad we figured out that your bp meds are maybe to blame for your bad mood, it still doesn't make me all that relieved. I want you to be happy. I will try to be patient through this.
Love, your wife who is worried about you.

[k3am]

Dear universe,

Please let us catch a break. A couple of them. Pretty please? I know we're in for a rough road ahead, but if we can get some relief on it, I'd be grateful.

Signed,
Waiting

[erinshelley21]

Dear brother,
We might have a buyer for our office. Don't F this up please.
Signed, your sister who will he shocked if we actually sell this place without listing it

[k3am]

Totally snarky:

Dear people in the waiting room,

This is a shared space. Please use your inside voices. I shouldn't be able to easily hear every word of your conversation from 30 feet away.

Signed,
Surprised it's not just my 4 year old who needs reminders.

[mommyatty]

Dear Universe:

Take care of k3am's daughter. They've had enough shitty breaks. They deserve some good ones now.

MommyAtty

[saraml13]

Sept 6, 2017 11:29:18 GMT -5 HeartofCheese said:

Dear saraml13 ,

Last I remember, you were doing a final interview for a job?

Signed,
WPs in solidarity for all Ps to be W


Dear me,

Why do you feel so wonky? Is stress giving you hypochondria or are your busted-eye-vessel, strange-neck-lump, and weakness actual physical symptoms? Or is it a 3-day hangover? At least you know that alcoholism is not for you.

Sincerely,
Divorce-drinking is not going to be a thing

ETA: I drank *4* beers, WPs! Four! College-me is so disappointed that mom-me isn't enjoying herself more in her old age.

Yes, that job came through with a verbal offer. I'm still waiting for all the details in writing, but the initial offer is lower than I was looking for. I still really like the company/role, but will have to do some pushing to get this to a place Im comfortable with. Thanks for asking!

[librarychica]

Dear school district,

Please don't close the schools three full days before the hurricane gets near us. I mean there is an abundance of caution and then there is overreacting.

Sincerely,
When I was a kid we waded through wind and horizontal rain to get to class!

[2chatter]

Dear school,
I was worried that having a coordinator for IEP 504 meant bad things...but it didn't and this morning was fantastic! I was shocked to see all of DD's teachers and counselors in the room, and now just feel so warm that they were all surprised by but supportive of the request. Quick and painless and I feel like a weight has been removed from my chest. I am sure DD will as well.

Happy mom

Dear DH,
Why did you just send me a text asking if I am having an affair? I really really hate these mood swings and paranoia. Like, really hate them. I have no words, other than if this is ramping up again I might as well find someone who will say kind things to me and engage in some bedroom fun. I'm paying the price already!
Wife, who isn't cheating on you but with each of these left field accusations does consider it

[supertrooper1]

Dear DH,
Please quit getting pissy every time I want to see my parents. I haven't seen them since Father's day and they only live an hour away. I get that you don't like them, but I'm not even asking you to go with me this time.
Signed,
This could be the straw that breaks the camels back

[mae0111]

Dear DD1 -
I really, really hope that you have a wonderful year at school. I'm less than impressed with your teacher, but I think you have a really nice group of kids in your class, so I'm hoping for the best. If it's not great, we'll muddle through...
Love, Mommy

Dear DD2 -
So happy we have a few more days before school starts! (but secretly, really looking forward to school starting!)
Love, Mommy

Dear Phone -
Please magically start ringing with offers for very part time work. Thank you!
Your owner

[shakinros]

Dear WPs,

Pro tip: do not try to call Disney World this week. I have been procrastinating making a reservation for the Magical Express from the Orlando airport on Sept 16 and finally called today.

Big fat nope. Took three hours to get through to a recorded message that says "due to Hurricane Irma, we are experiencing high call volume. If your arrival date is September 13 or later, please call back after that date." I'm a dope.

Disney experts, can I get on a bus by just strolling up to the terminal desk day of?

Signed,
Chagrined, party of 1

[yummmy]

Sept 6, 2017 14:15:00 GMT -5 shakinros said:

Dear WPs,

Pro tip: do not try to call Disney World this week. I have been procrastinating making a reservation for the Magical Express from the Orlando airport on Sept 16 and finally called today.

Big fat nope. Took three hours to get through to a recorded message that says "due to Hurricane Irma, we are experiencing high call volume. If your arrival date is September 13 or later, please call back after that date." I'm a dope.

Disney experts, can I get on a bus by just strolling up to the terminal desk day of?

Signed,
Chagrined, party of 1

Sadly, you have to have a reservation. But, if you have never made a reservation you should be able to do it through My Disney Experience. For some reason you can't change a reservation in there, but you can create one (I believe!) for the Magical Express. Try there if you haven't already! Good Luck!!  

[msn06]

Dear BIL and FSIL

I can't believe no one in the family has told you how tacky and classless it is to have a cash bar at your wedding when your buying the booze and having a friend whose licensed bar tended. Putting a sign up saying the more you drink the more fun we have on our honeymoon doesn't make it okay. A for profit cash bar is wrong

Sincerely,
SIL who wants to gift you only the cash left in your card after she visits the bar a ton.

[mommyatty]

Sept 6, 2017 15:01:58 GMT -5 msn06 said:

Dear BIL and FSIL

I can't believe no one in the family has told you how tacky and classless it is to have a cash bar at your wedding when your buying the booze and having a friend whose licensed bar tended. Putting a sign up saying the more you drink the more fun we have on our honeymoon doesn't make it okay. A for profit cash bar is wrong

Sincerely,
SIL who wants to gift you only the cash left in your card after she visits the open bar a ton.

Omg. So they are selling their booze to their guests??? Omg. That's honestly a new low. 

[mommyatty]

Dear msn06,

Idea! Give them a bottle of booze as a wedding gift with a card that says "you can put this toward the cash bar." But wrap it in a box so they don't get it until after the wedding! Then they'll be thinking "wtf, she bought us a bottle of vodka for the wedding? And didn't give it to us before?"

Signed, Irritated and not even a guest!