Monday things.

[bullygirl979]

Weekend recap? Randoms? Whatcha got?

[bullygirl979]

I know this isn't part of the recap but I want to share. Friday my boss came to town. She commented how I hadn't applied for her position, which was posted for over a week. Given I was supposed to hear about the other position two weeks prior, I asked if she had any updates. She stated that she thought one offer had gone out (there are two positions) and then told me that she wants to ensure I have a position in the company and reiterated she wants me on her team. I don't know if she was giving me insider information (aka I wasn't getting an offer) or if she was telling me to look out for myself. She then told me she is getting two positions (not three, like she originally thought) and that it would be a promotion with a pay raise.

I thought about it and realized that I should apply, to ensure I have a job. I applied and sent her the email confirming my application. She responded "Perfect. Now I am happy!" I told my friend, who works in Operations and under the VP I applied with, about the whole thing (including the VP telling me that my boss was under the impression I was staying with her); friend's take is that Operations VP is pretty passive, my boss is very strong. She wouldn't be surprised if Operations VP was unwilling to go toe to toe with my boss to get me in her group. Whatever. I'll have a job either way, so that's a good thing.Oh, and I confirmed with boss that there would be minimal travel and given the territory, I would work from home the majority of the time.

[chalupa]

I've got a nasty cold, which I'm guessing I picked up in VA this weekend. Blargh.

My baby niece is adorable and all, but at just 3 weeks, she's not very exciting - she's either sleeping, waking up for a diaper change and bottle, or falling back asleep. It is super cute to watch my brother with her though - that was far more fun to me than holding the baby (shhh - don't tell brother and SIL that, though! Of course my niece is the cutest, prettiest, best baby I've ever seen!!!).

[bullygirl979]

As for the weekend, it was good! Friday night we had dinner/drinks with one of P's friends. Saturday I hung out with a friend who is having marital issues. She confided in me that she cheated on her husband and is thinking of leaving him. Sunday we finished ripping out the garden, making a smaller garden in the space and planting grass seed. It was a really fun project in 95 degree heat. Oh, and old owner drove by. P said he stopped and was sitting in his car scowling and shaking his head.

[chalupa]

bullygirl979 I'm really glad you applied for that position. I was getting worried you'd get left out in the cold by the other manager. I'd keep following up with HR/that manager, but good for you for sending in the other application. I'm also glad you got some guarantees about the travel/work from home part.

[kaneen]

bullygirl979 it does sound like office politics is getting in the way of you getting the position you want. I'm sorry to hear that. But then again, maybe working under someone who is pretty passive wouldn't have been good for you in the long run anyway. Trying to look at the bright side.

chalupa I've never been a baby person or even a kid person myself so I get it.

[bullygirl979]

chalupa, I actually don't think I'm going to follow up any more. I made one call to HR already and spoke to VP already. It's ridiculous to have to follow up more than that. I already told the other VP I wanted to work with her, so if she can't make it happen soon, then I'd rather stay with my boss. Especially given supervisor's position is a promotion and operations is a lateral move.

Also, I like everything in your post except the cold part Glad you had a nice visit!

[bullygirl979]

kaneen, that is what P says, too. He said "do you really want to work for someone who isn't going to advocate for you?" It is a good point.

[kaneen]

My weekend was really nice overall. I had meetings with a prospect on Friday morning that went really really well so that was a good start to it. I ended up driving some co-workers to the airport after since I had to pick up my Mom anyway.

My Mom and I went to dinner and a movie Friday night. We saw Home Again which was cute but not as amazing as all the hype made it out to be.

Saturday we went skydiving! It was so fun. This was my fourth time going and my Mom's second. I definitely really took it in more this time than any other. I think because I've gone a few times before I was able to be more "in the moment" and was able to really experience the whole thing. It was awesome. Definitely the best of all the times I've gone. On the way home we stopped for dinner and then did a little shopping.

Sunday we hit brunch at one of my favorite places then went to a national park near by to hike/picnic. While we were hiking we found this public boat launch that also had a dock overlooking the river. When we got done hiking we set up some chairs and our picnic and just sat and read our books for about 2 hours. It was SO nice and peaceful.

I just finished reading The Mountain Between Us. If anyone is looking for something good to read this was AMAZING. The movie is coming out soon and I can't wait to see it!

[tiramisu]

bullygirl979 I'm not quite sure what to make of your company's handling of this. I'm just glad you'll have a job at the end of this. I'm also shaking my head at the old owner of your place. Move on, sir!

chalupa I hope you start to feel better soon! I can imagine a three-well I'll baby wouldn't be terribly exciting by itself. I'm also not a baby person.

kaneen that sounds like an amazing weekend!

[bullygirl979]

kaneen, that all sounds amazing!!

tiramisu, you sound like P. He said there is no way he could work for my company with those kind of office politics. Lol.

[tiramisu]

My weekend was good, but did involve some emotional labor. Friday I met friends for a happy hour, ended up staying out with one of them for pizza, and then met up with another friend at the end of the night to see how she's been. I didn't get home until 2:30am! My friend I hung out with last had some really bad stuff happen within the past week, so I was listening and offering support.

Saturday I wasn't very productive during the day, but resting was nice. I had date #2 with my coworker! It went really well. We met at a pub for dinner and then went to an improv comedy show that one of our other coworkers performs with. Afterwards we got dessert together and sat and talked for a long time. It was really nice. He admitted to already knowing my age (he has access to a system that has my info in it from fundraising efforts) and doing a happy dance in his seat when he realized I was age appropriate. He also admitted to being awkward and told me I'm dealing with someone who's insecure so he needs clear green lights. He drove me home, walked me to my door, and kissed me. There will be a third date.

Sunday I was super productive in the morning (gas, cat errands, laundry) and then I went to a baseball game with one of my guy friends. Of course when I posted pictures I received a text asking if he was a love interest. I laughed because he and I were just talking about how that happens to him about me and his roommate all the time.

[doglove]

Good luck bullygirl979, that is pretty $hitty the way they have handled your other position.

Feel better chalupa!

kaneen - sounds like a great weekend!

I had a good weekend, it was pretty restful, which was so needed. A is really stressed over the house stuff, his pup looked in terrible shape when I arrived on Friday. I am not sure if part of him is in denial (A) that he just will not be the same dog now or stress or what, but I had to tell him straight up - this dog is in pain, call the vet now. We picked up meds Saturday morning. He was starting to seem better by when I left yesterday.

I went to a wedding with a friend last night at the same place my wedding reception was years ago. I was a little nervous about this, but glad when I didn't really have any ill effects from it and actually had a good time. It's a little weird that I thought I'd feel sad, but instead remembered all the douchey ways he acted the day of our wedding?? I'll take it as a win.

[tiramisu]

doglove I'd say that definitely sounds like a win! I'm glad to hear the wedding went well for you. I think I missed something; what's going on with A's pup?

[tiramisu]

Oh, the other emotional labor of my weekend: my friend is getting married in two weeks and she sent me a message said that she was going emergency wedding dress shopping because her seamstress still hasn't shipped her dress to her and said she was out of town when she was supposed to be meeting my friend's mom for something related to her dress. Then, when I was checking on her later, I found out that her future FIL is in the hospital. It was sounding really bad and he was transferred to a different hospital, but it seems that he might be stabilizing. I feel awful for her and her fiance. I really hope his dad is getting the right treatment and will be okay.

[chalupa]

doglove I'm glad that you got A's pup back on pain meds and that the wedding location wasn't awful. And you looked so cute in the photos I saw!

[chalupa]

Also, my BFF just sent me a snap with her opening up our wedding invites. I put those suckers in my mailbox on Saturday afternoon (our mailman comes around 2pm) and it arrived in her mailbox 2 states away by 10am? The USPS must really be stepping it up.

[udscoobychick]

bullygirl979, sounds like things are working themselves out.
(( tiramisu )) for all the emotional labor.

I had an overall good weekend. DH and I did some flying on Friday morning and had a quiet Friday afternoon/evening in. Saturday, I taught a class, swung by a friend's house to pick some apples and pears from her trees, and then went wine tasting with another friend. And I was good and only bought 1 bottle lol. Sunday, DH and I slept in, went out to brunch, and had a quiet day until he took me to the airport.

I'm currently somewhere in the middle of a 9-hr layover in Munich. I had good intentions of leaving the airport to explore, but I'm tired, I have no euros (there are ATMs, so this is a lousy excuse), my phone was about to die, I speak no German, and I have a lousy sense of direction, so I was worried about it being more stressful than fun. So, I'm sitting in the lounge doing some work.

[doglove]

Sept 25, 2017 8:58:40 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

doglove I'd say that definitely sounds like a win! I'm glad to hear the wedding went well for you. I think I missed something; what's going on with A's pup?

Back in May, he ruptured a disc in his back. He'd been treating him with meds over the summer (at least 8 weeks of pain/anti-inflammatory meds) and he was improving, but the vet had said he may never be the "same dog" again. A boarded him when we went to Texas a month ago and while he was there, he was attacked by a dog and apparently the stress of that had caused him to re-injure his back. He went through a course of meds, but A elected to not keep him on them because he was apparently doing okay. He hasn't been able to get into the car though in a month, which leads me to believe he was not improving really and seeing the state he was in on Friday was alarming to me. 

I think A has been focused on the side effects of being on meds long term and not liking the way London is out of it (sleepy) on the meds. We talked about quality of life and that London really was not doing well so even if he's drugged up, he is at least comfortable. To me, the benefits outweigh the side effects, especially in this kind of situation. This is a challenge because A is a "I never take meds" person couple with the fact that a lot of dogs don't exhibit a lot of outward signs of pain. I am just accustomed to noticing the signs of pain/slight behavior changes because I've had to look after so many foster dogs through managing pain. 

I know he doesn't want him to suffer, but I don't understand this stance about not wanting him to be on medicine. 

[doglove]

Sept 25, 2017 9:09:09 GMT -5 chalupa said:

Also, my BFF just sent me a snap with her opening up our wedding invites. I put those suckers in my mailbox on Saturday afternoon (our mailman comes around 2pm) and it arrived in her mailbox 2 states away by 10am? The USPS must really be stepping it up.

That's impressive!

[tiramisu]

doglove I'm glad you convinced A to get him back on pain medication. That's an awful situation for London. I don't get the "no meds" stance, but it seems like more often men are that way and pride themselves on "not needing" any type of medication. Like they're tougher than pain or something. Not that I'm saying A's that way, it's just what I can think of from men I know. It baffles me because hell yes I'm taking something if I'm in pain. I'm glad that London has pain relief now. Poor pupper.

[bullygirl979]

udscoobychick, I don't blame you. I've done the same. Relax and rest up!

tiramisu, is this guy older or younger than you?

[doglove]

I agree tiramisu . I had kind of a serious WTF moment with him this weekend because I don't think anyone should have to tough it out - especially an animal who can't advocate for itself. After we talked about this, I think it's not a pride thing as much as it's a - I can't believe I've lost my dog kind of grief/denial thing. If he's not on meds, he still acts and tries to be his bouncy-self, which is also leaving him susceptible to re-injuring himself. Not an excuse and not okay to let him suffer though. And I don't believe he has any healthy coping mechanisms in place for stress except alcohol, which is becoming a bit worrisome for me.

[tiramisu]

bullygirl979 he's older by 8 years (45).


doglove oh that's tough. I get the grief/loss/denial thing. I also don't like hearing about the lack of ways to cope with stress. I hope he starts to recognize that multiple ways to cope are more helpful and can add some others to his repertoire.

[doglove]

I hope so too tiramisu - for his health and well-being and also for the sake of our relationship moving forward as well.

[bullygirl979]

doglove, I think we all deal with things in positive and negative ways. I'm a stress eater...is it healthy and good for me? No. But sometimes I eat a crap ton of chocolate. Sometimes I deal in healthier ways and I go for a run. It's good that you are seeing it, but hopefully it's an isolated incident and isn't a trend.

[doglove]

Sept 25, 2017 9:52:45 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

doglove , I think we all deal with things in positive and negative ways. I'm a stress eater...is it healthy and good for me? No. But sometimes I eat a crap ton of chocolate. Sometimes I deal in healthier ways and I go for a run. It's good that you are seeing it, but hopefully it's an isolated incident and isn't a trend.

Yes, I get that and also have my own struggles as well, I've just really yet to see him have a healthy coping mechanism (in 8 months of dating). Before it was drinking and impulse shopping and now since he can't impulse shop due to the house closing next month, it seems like it's shifted to a lot more drinking. I am trying not to judge, because I don't want someone policing me about my actions (I know how that feels after being in a marriage where ALL my actions were policed). I had a hard time this weekend though because it was to the point where he could barely walk/talk both nights I stayed there and missing memories of conversations we had (I did tell him this, he said it was because of stress). 

I just really don't want to end up in a situation where I'm with another person who is checking out again. 

[bullygirl979]

Sept 25, 2017 10:04:42 GMT -5 doglove said:

Sept 25, 2017 9:52:45 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

doglove , I think we all deal with things in positive and negative ways. I'm a stress eater...is it healthy and good for me? No. But sometimes I eat a crap ton of chocolate. Sometimes I deal in healthier ways and I go for a run. It's good that you are seeing it, but hopefully it's an isolated incident and isn't a trend.

Yes, I get that and also have my own struggles as well, I've just really yet to see him have a healthy coping mechanism (in 8 months of dating). Before it was drinking and impulse shopping and now since he can't impulse shop due to the house closing next month, it seems like it's shifted to a lot more drinking. I am trying not to judge, because I don't want someone policing me about my actions (I know how that feels after being in a marriage where ALL my actions were policed). I had a hard time this weekend though because it was to the point where he could barely walk/talk both nights I stayed there and missing memories of conversations we had (I did tell him this, he said it was because of stress). 

I just really don't want to end up in a situation where I'm with another person who is checking out again. 

Yeah, that is a bit of a different story. I mean, to impulse shop or drink every once in a while is one thing, but to do it often is another.

[gault]

Got an email this morning for a second interview! Fuck yeah! And the second phone interview with the dream job is tomorrow.

Hugs to the folks with rough and emotional weekends. Ugh.

[chalupa]

yay gault! Keeping my fingers crossed that you end up with a choice between some great job opportunities.