Wednesday vents - because it seems too late to add to Monday

[akafred]

I adore my little workgroup. There is a manager and 2 sr analysts (i am one). I have been here about 20 months, long enough to have my job pretty well down, BUT it is ever growing (each month there are some new responsibilities), and it can be pretty hectic at times. I am reasonably detail-oriented, but not GREAT at it, so I make a few mistakes but not a lot. One of my manager (A)'s responsibilities is to review my work before it advances, and I make it my sisncere goal not to make mistakes but my meeting decks are over 100 pages so zero mistakes is not attainable. It is good that there is another set of eyes on my work each month. Meanwhile there is another manager in the dept (B) who is utterly swamped, traveling internationally all the time, meetings all day most of the time he is here. My stuff I need from him is low priority, but for example today i finally pinned him down and got the answers to the questions I have been asking all month (last month's actual figures, which he had not published so it isn't like I could look elsewhere. Today is the 24th and I finally got an answer to my questions.

My manager (A) announced today that he has taken another position in the department and they will not be backfilling his position. The other sr analyst will report to the third manager in the dept (C), and I will report to B.

I am gutted. For starters, I love my boss. This is the first time at this company I have really felt like I am *liked* and do a really good job. I have good work life balance and can work from home sometimes and flex my time to 7:30-4:30 so I can leave in time to pick DD up from school by closing at 5:30. I have a desk at HQ where a lot of B's people work at the plant, so idk how that will work out. If I have to work at the plant I have an hour long commute one way vs 45 min now, and would have to work 7-4. Also we JUST moved to cut my commute! Also B's people are all techs programmers and I am not. If my job responsibilities don't shift at all, I fear I will be very unsupported, without anyone having my back when times get hectic most months before the big meetings. If my responsibilities do shift to be more in line with what B's people do, I fear I don't have the skills to succeed well.

There are opportunities here. Of course there are. And tomorrow I will try to focus on them. But tonight I am just seeing the challenges, and throwing a pity party.

The irony is this is what my H goes through currently. His director is spread too thin and he is not available for support when needed. Meanwhile every so often he jumps in there and throws a wrench in everyone's work. Ironically I have joked to my H that what he goes through is what it would be like to work for B, which I hoped never to have to do. Sigh.

[twinmomma]

My final audit deck ended up being about 200 slides. I just finished. I'm exhausted.

[twinmomma]

akafred, I'm sorry! That really sucks to lose out on a good manager that you had a strong relationship with. Maybe if B is going to have you reporting to him, his responsibilities are also changing and his schedule will open up more? Is it part of a larger plan that you aren't in on yet? I hope so! And I really hope they don't push you to go to the other location - maybe you can push back on that with the recent move information if it comes up.

Good luck with the changes! And I'd make sure you stay in touch with manager A as a mentor/great connection to have in the company. It never hurts to grab a coffee and have someone like that in your corner!

[waverly]

Well it's a good thing H is traveling because I kind of want to kill him (not literally caveat). Him being a moron in the past with money and taxes is coming around to bite us both in the butt.

sorry akafred- I hope you can at least stay in your current location for your job.

[akafred]

twinmomma, glad you are done! 200 pages is crazy to throw together!

In my case the small reorg is reactionary. A's new group is actually his old group that he was promoted to manager from. The director recruited him because of his knowledge of the subject matter. Unfortunately the previous manager of A's new/old group passed away or someone did and they are reorging for that reason. Which makes sense and is great for A. But me going to B is simply because A is leaving and they don't want to backfill him. My coworker going to C makes sense, well enough, because of her main responsibilities fitting in fairly well with C's responsibilities. But I am just being stuck with B because my responsibilities don't fit with C at all and would be too much for her to take on. They said as much.

Would it be terrible form to apply for a new internal position in a totally different department? They may not let me go anyway, since there is no one else trained on my job, but I would be interested in exploring other options anyway. I've been here close to 2 years so not really awful or anything. I just don't want it to seem completely in response to the news. Even though it kind of is, but not totally. I usually start looking after a couple of years anyway.

[mommyatty]

Give B a chance. I am B. Totally swamped, travelling all the time, etc. but when my folks need me, I'm THERE. I care a lot about being a great boss, even from afar. And the great thing is you won't be micromanaged!

Still travelling. Still tired of it. And I'm short handed. A guy who works for me just took another position, and he's being a douchebag about the transition. Plus, one of his three direct reports just went out on short term disability, and he's facing a diagnosis that is likely terminal. So my 4 person team is down to 2. One will be back filled in the short-term. The other won't be for at least a few months. And I'm freaking traveling again. Damn it.

[akafred]

mommyatty, I am going to try to suck it up. I *like* B. I think he is a really nice guy, clearly ridiculously smart. And I know he is in the deepest part of his workload just before launching some new programs etc. And maybe he would be really supportive, though I doubt it very much from what I see, not that he wouldn't want to, but because he is consumed by bigger things.

But I still have big concerns about being the only one on the team who does something "different." My job is VERY different from his team's job, and mine can get very very intense at the beginning of the month. When I need support I need it now. Not tomorrow because he is in Japan and only sees emails overnight. And who will back me up? In my previous job the sr mgr would only let me go out of town during certain windows when the core business was not so intense. First two weeks of the month were out because that is when we were preparing to present the results of the previous month and making those presentations and plans for the new month. Last week of the month was out because we were getting everything prepped for the next cycle. That left about a week 3/4 of the way through the month, which is when we did quarterly and annual reports or special projects, trained new team members, had performance reviews, did training, etc. So even that last week or so was often not available for time off. I could get a long weekend in if I planned well enough in advance, but I didn't feel like I had the freedom to take a week off for a good vacation, or anything spontaneous. If I am the only one who knows my stuff, I am back there. OR I have to crosstrain a lot...which is also a burden.

IDK. It'll work out. It has to. But I don't like it.

[twinmomma]

Vent on DH's behalf: You all know how many hours he puts in already. It's a lot. Way more than some of the other teachers who get to teach their subjects and head home with zero after school obligations. He gets an email last night "strongly encouraging" the staff who haven't volunteered yet to chaperone a dance on Friday. F that noise. I think DH should be exempt from that kind of stuff given his other school "volunteer" time, but his principal doesn't see it that way. So frustrating!

[Covergirl82]

This is very FWP, but I started a new set of contacts this morning. Somehow, the contact in my left eye didn't stay in and I lost it, so I had to open another one for the left eye. I hate wasting contacts because they are expensive and then I have to order them sooner than I planned to.

[rere]

I would love a reorg. Our current structure is asinine with people reporting in various places without a lot of rhyme or reason. Plus, the way we are now, I'll never get out from under my current boss or have a chance for advancement.

[erinshelley21]

I hope this turns out better than you expect akafred.

[erinshelley21]

I would just like a break. Honest to God, I toyed with the idea of drinking after my husband yesterday when he said he felt like his fever was coming back. In my defense, it was MY cup, but how tired does a girl have to be to wish she could take a sick day? He's been sick or at work for 9 out of the last 12 nights. DS has been sick for 3 of those. DD has been somewhat sick/stage 5 clinger/teething/whatever else for most of it so she hasn't been sleeping great which means I'm not sleeping great.

My fat clothes are getting too tight.

My husband's quarter-life crisis is killing me slowly. I don't know if that's what it is or if he is depressed. I just feel like he is never happy with anything. Satisfied, sure. But I haven't seen him get excited about anything for a long time. Except sex. He is so focused on what he can't/doesn't have that he doesn't see what he can/does have. I'm trying to not let it get me down as well, but that's just not how I roll.

[akafred]

Oct 25, 2017 7:48:57 GMT -5 rere said:

I would love a reorg. Our current structure is asinine with people reporting in various places without a lot of rhyme or reason. Plus, the way we are now, I'll never get out from under my current boss or have a chance for advancement.

So imagine you had a structure that made sense, someone left, and now you have your current structure. :/

[Covergirl82]

erinshelley21, has your H called the doctor for their advice? That seems like a long time to be sick. I hope you get a break soon!

[rere]

erinshelley21 That was me this past winter. I was fantasizing about a sick day. I then had 2 surgeries. You would think I would get to lay around. Nope. Both times I had to take DS to the doctor and go back early because Dh had vertigo and was worst casing it. Even removing organs doesn't put me at the top of the sick/not handling anything list here.

[k3am]

One of my premier clients recently hired a new CFO. We've been working on putting together a huge transaction and she's been... difficult to work with. She's been pushing us for a 10/31 close, but not giving us the information we need to get there. She didn't even sign our term sheet until the beginning of October. I have been working like mad to get it together for them, coming in on weekends, etc.

Yesterday they screwed up and copied me on an email intended to go to someone else with K in their name. Which basically says... "hey, we're leaving k3am and going to this other company" and now they're not answering phone calls.

So basically in the course of one email, I went from having a deal that would make my year-end numbers (and my old work wife's numbers since the deal was so big I needed to bring in a participant) to losing another huge chunk of my portfolio. Le sigh.

[akafred]

k3am, how awful! I am so sorry!

[k3am]

akafred, in September and early October, I was prepared to lose the deal based on how they were acting. BUT THEN THEY SIGNED OUR TERM SHEET. So blah.

[xctsclrx]

akafred, I really hope that it works out for you. sounds like it is going to be rough in the beginning though.

k3am, That sucks. If they were going to leave why waste your time.

twinmomma, your DH should keep a spreadsheet to track his time and then if the principal wants to "strongly suggest" he can show it to him and be passive aggressive about it. I agree screw that.

Vent: I am so tired. Like bone deep exhausted and I am not doing myself any favors by going to bed at 830 because then I am up at 4 and the vicious cycle continues. I begged my DH to bathe and put DS to bed last night because I was exhausted. It was my turn. He then asked me to clean up the kitchen and was pissy about putting DS to bed. Which he took out on DS which resulted in screaming kid angry dad and no story time for DS. I just want a day when I can go home sleep on the couch and not be bothered for an hour. I am taking a half day on Friday to do that, but I am sure DH will not have prepared for his brother and wife and will ask me to do that as well.

[supertrooper1]

akafred, hopefully manager B will work out. My supervisor is always busy but also has no clue how I do my job. Really, no one at my local level understands how I do it and just know I get results. So I often have to make decisions that a supervisor normally would. It's been tough since I feel like I shouldn't have to be making these decisions.

DH left for work this morning pissed at me. The new house cleaner is coming today to look at our house. He tells me this morning that he wants to be here because he has specific instructions that he doesn't trust me telling her. Apparently he has a certain way the shower has to be cleaned and doesn't trust her to know how to clean a shower. WTF, I live here too. I told him when I set up the visit that it would be during the day because she still has an evening job and won't do it on the weekends. And he doesn't think she should be given the house alarm code. Such is life married to an asshole.

[erinshelley21]

Oct 25, 2017 8:34:34 GMT -5 Covergirl82 said:

erinshelley21, has your H called the doctor for their advice? That seems like a long time to be sick. I hope you get a break soon!

He's only been sick since last Thursday evening and I really think he is on the end of whatever it is.

[k3am]

xctsclrx, we were obviously their plan b in case the other company couldn't get it done.

In other news, now that I don't have that deal eating up my life, I also have... not a lot on my agenda for the day. It's going to drag.

[2chatter]

I’m just under utilized and bored. Same thing as always with this Mommy Track. I met a friend for breakfast (which BTW everyone should schedule ONE thing with a friend RIGHT NOW because it’s important and affirming) and somehow saying it out loud “I no longer get the high profile projects because I can’t travel at the drop of a hat and this new
Management team isn’t organized so that’s how the travel works” made it suck more.

I’m trapped because I really can’t handle an 8-6 plus commute with DH always gone and three active kids. It’s just not viable so this really is a great situation for me.

And...I realized there is a 10k difference between my W2 and my internal income statement. So...I am either being underpaid or my W2 is wrong. Both scenarios make me feel sick so I have done nothing to research (ie figure out where they live electronically and compare and call HR).

[186momx]

akafred, fingers crossed that this transition works better than you are expecting. If it doesn't I would speak up to the new guy and say I need XYZ in support, I understand you are busy but can you do to help me.

erinshelley21, I totally get you. DH gets on and off sick and oh is me every fall. I swear September 1st comes and he is sick until June with some sort of sniffle or cough or what not and his mood totally drops with the less light we get. It gets really bad right now around his b-day.

Today is DH's b-day and I have no clue what is going on with him. He is acting like he has no b-day. Always in the past he associated his b-day with his parents leaving him to go to AZ but he hasn't lived with them for 10 years now and they haven't done a thing for his birthday in the last 4 so it really shouldn't be a big deal anymore. I don't know. I special ordered a Minion cake and found a Minion gift bag to put his present in. He really likes Minions I swear he is 37 today and not 3 but he is obsessed with Minions. He has them in his truck, shares posts about them on Facebook, has Minion color books he colors in. Thing is DD doesn't like the movies at all so it isn't an obsession to try and connect with DD. Will do cake and gifts after gymnastics tonight and I bought his favorite Cider to go with. I also told him he should go an play the big paintball game this weekend. No clue why I stress so much over this since he doesn't do a thing for my b-day.

[waverly]

2chatter, I am the same way. I am applying for one job, but I am excluded for any jobs that occasionally need evenings because H travels and I need to pick the kids up by 6. Yes I could try to find a babysitter to work until 10 pm one night a week, but then I still have to go home and get the kids and then set up for the babysitter and then get back to work unless I find someone who drives and is a good driver. And everyone on those care websites etc are super flaky and don't want the job, and the high schooler we did have turned out to smoke pot and drive, so yeah I am stuck in like 2 positions ever. My job is 37.5 hours a week, so I can do drop off and pick up, and only a half hour commute one way.

[kimberlybb]

2chatter , totally hear you on the mommy track. I haven’t been able to pursue a few opportunities over the last couple years that would have really advanced my career because they involved travel and working a lot more hours. Due to the nature of my DH’s job, he isn’t able to do any afternoon pick-ups or handle doctor’s appointments, sick kids, dentist visits, etc. Everything is on me so I need the flexibility of my current position but there is nowhere to advance from here. It’s a tough place to be.

[erinshelley21]

186momx, he normally has a really strong immune system thankfully given that he's a medic and comes in contact with only god knows what. A lot of his unhappiness comes from work. Last department was a bad environment (4 people have left in the last 2 years, which is a lot for a department with only 12 spots) and now this one is very slow and getting to be understaffed which worries me. He has spent the last 17 years of his life working and working hard and now that he's not nearly as busy he almost has too much time to think.

I think I've figured his problem out just by typing this out. He has too much free mental time since he isn't taking care of patients or doing actual firefighter stuff. He didn't used to be so wishy-washy on decisions. This is new.

[twinmomma]

erinshelley21, Could he join a volunteer department nearby? My dad is a retired fire chief and struggled a lot after he retired because he didn't have that constant work in his life. Now he's on a couple volunteer departments and it gives him his "fix" without all the stress. He can choose which calls to go to and still go hang out at the station with the full time guys. He is so much happier now that he's back in a fire family!

[erinshelley21]

twinmomma, he actually started at a volunteer department. He left that when he started medic school because he couldn't balance it with clinicals and his paid job. That would be a good idea though if he decides to stay where he is at for the money.

[mae0111]

Everyone in the world is eating crackers right now. My kids fight constantly - crackers. DH is eating all the Halloween candy but will not, under any circumstances, go buy new candy because he hates stores - crackers. My mom bailed on babysitting so DH can't go to the football game with me - crackers.

DH made a big deal about me going to the gym ONE MORNING A WEEK because he said it interfered with his workout schedule. He decided, last minute, not to work out for the last 2 days, making it too late for me to get to the gym. I told him at the beginning of the week that I was going to the gym on Thurs morning, and I"m certain that there will be a fight. CRACKERS.

My sisters are trying to get together for dinner. I got a text 5 mins ago asking availability tomorrow evening or Friday evening. I can't do Friday - we have plans with the kids. So I said Thurs. My other sister will definitely say no to Thurs, but yes to Friday. So what will happen is this - the two sisters will get together on Friday, and I will not. CRACKERS.

I'm a grump.