TWW 11/6

[compassrose]

((Hugs)) at seeyalater52. Try to take things one step at a time. I’m a planner, too, so I get it. Be enraged at the discriminatory shit you job is pulling but don’t give up yet. Change is slow. If you love your job otherwise, try to put your energy into that for the next couple of days.
And FWIW, my first pregnancy, I got a BFN at 13DPO and a positive at 15DPO.

[Deleted]

*hugs* seeyalater52,

[seeyalater52]

Nov 15, 2017 8:03:12 GMT -5 compassrose said:

((Hugs)) at seeyalater52. Try to take things one step at a time. I’m a planner, too, so I get it. Be enraged at the discriminatory shit you job is pulling but don’t give up yet. Change is slow. If you love your job otherwise, try to put your energy into that for the next couple of days.
And FWIW, my first pregnancy, I got a BFN at 13DPO and a positive at 15DPO.

You’re right, of course. And I do love my job. I am furious that they’re being bullshit about it, but the real blame does lie with the insurer and also the definition of infertility written into our state law about the mandate, which is effectively identical. Other insurers have softened the requirement over time because it’s blatantly discriminatory even though the law hasn’t been legally challenged. I swear I am just going straight to the legislature and demanding that one of our health care champions take this on. That would probably be more productive than sobbing into my pillow about it but I’m so TIRED right now and that’s a little too much like what I do for work to feel exciting or fun.

You are all the best. <3 I’m sorry I’m an awful venting machine these days. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a surprise late BFP. I am not going to stop taking the progesterone until my last test on Monday morning (17dpo) just in case.

[compassrose]

Nov 15, 2017 10:25:10 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Nov 15, 2017 8:03:12 GMT -5 compassrose said:

((Hugs)) at seeyalater52. Try to take things one step at a time. I’m a planner, too, so I get it. Be enraged at the discriminatory shit you job is pulling but don’t give up yet. Change is slow. If you love your job otherwise, try to put your energy into that for the next couple of days.
And FWIW, my first pregnancy, I got a BFN at 13DPO and a positive at 15DPO.

You’re right, of course. And I do love my job. I am furious that they’re being bullshit about it, but the real blame does lie with the insurer and also the definition of infertility written into our state law about the mandate, which is effectively identical. Other insurers have softened the requirement over time because it’s blatantly discriminatory even though the law hasn’t been legally challenged. I swear I am just going straight to the legislature and demanding that one of our health care champions take this on. That would probably be more productive than sobbing into my pillow about it but I’m so TIRED right now and that’s a little too much like what I do for work to feel exciting or fun.

You are all the best. <3 I’m sorry I’m an awful venting machine these days. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a surprise late BFP. I am not going to stop taking the progesterone until my last test on Monday morning (17dpo) just in case.

Maybe HRC or ACLU will take your case? I’m only half joking.

I tempted this morning and it went down at 4DPO so I decided to break for a week instead of stressing.

[seeyalater52]

compassrose GLAD is considering taking it on, but we wouldn’t be good plaintiffs since we live out of state from our insurance carrier. I have much better connections with the state legislature and itd probably be the fastest way to resolve it but I get so tired thinking about it. I’ll have to see what the response is when I float it....

Good for you for stepping away if temping is going to make you nuts! I admit its been nice not stressing about it this TWW.

[seeyalater52]

Ok well apparently the insurer has decided that what’s there in black and white in the policy “isn’t really” the policy and they’re willing to tell my RE that directly. So. I guess we’ll use up the remaining two cycles we have already paid for and then if those don’t work we can talk with their office about their comfort level certifying an additional 8months of trying just as they would do for any other couple, since that’s what the insurer is insisting they’re allowed to do. I’m not sure what form that would take exactly but it’s a bit better than what we’re working with now and we may be able to get a second opinion from the other big practice in our area about how they would handle this if we did want/need to move on to IVF at some point.

Worst case scenario is we can probably do 8 more months trying with donor sperm at home which is about $6,000 all said and would probably be a compromise between provider and insurer about how to be sure I’m not a liar or that the issue isn’t male factor, and to be fair would save us some 2k in attorney fees compared to using a known donor.

Y’all might be able to tell from all this that I’m a control freak of the highest order and really like having a plan, a backup plan, and a backup plan for my backup plan. Sorry to process it out loud here endlessly.

[compassrose]

Nov 15, 2017 17:54:42 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Ok well apparently the insurer has decided that what’s there in black and white in the policy “isn’t really” the policy and they’re willing to tell my RE that directly. So. I guess we’ll use up the remaining two cycles we have already paid for and then if those don’t work we can talk with their office about their comfort level certifying an additional 8months of trying just as they would do for any other couple, since that’s what the insurer is insisting they’re allowed to do. I’m not sure what form that would take exactly but it’s a bit better than what we’re working with now and we may be able to get a second opinion from the other big practice in our area about how they would handle this if we did want/need to move on to IVF at some point.

Worst case scenario is we can probably do 8 more months trying with donor sperm at home which is about $6,000 all said and would probably be a compromise between provider and insurer about how to be sure I’m not a liar or that the issue isn’t male factor, and to be fair would save us some 2k in attorney fees compared to using a known donor.

Y’all might be able to tell from all this that I’m a control freak of the highest order and really like having a plan, a backup plan, and a backup plan for my backup plan. Sorry to process it out loud here endlessly.

I wouldn’t know anything about having a plan B and C. I am definitely not a control freak. Except about most things.
You’re not tempting but you’re testing every day! That’s worse!

[seeyalater52]

Nov 15, 2017 20:18:21 GMT -5 compassrose said:

Nov 15, 2017 17:54:42 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Ok well apparently the insurer has decided that what’s there in black and white in the policy “isn’t really” the policy and they’re willing to tell my RE that directly. So. I guess we’ll use up the remaining two cycles we have already paid for and then if those don’t work we can talk with their office about their comfort level certifying an additional 8months of trying just as they would do for any other couple, since that’s what the insurer is insisting they’re allowed to do. I’m not sure what form that would take exactly but it’s a bit better than what we’re working with now and we may be able to get a second opinion from the other big practice in our area about how they would handle this if we did want/need to move on to IVF at some point.

Worst case scenario is we can probably do 8 more months trying with donor sperm at home which is about $6,000 all said and would probably be a compromise between provider and insurer about how to be sure I’m not a liar or that the issue isn’t male factor, and to be fair would save us some 2k in attorney fees compared to using a known donor.

Y’all might be able to tell from all this that I’m a control freak of the highest order and really like having a plan, a backup plan, and a backup plan for my backup plan. Sorry to process it out loud here endlessly.

I wouldn’t know anything about having a plan B and C. I am definitely not a control freak. Except about most things.
You’re not tempting but you’re testing every day! That’s worse!

What can i say? This job has driven me to actual insanity. Weirdly I find testing every day so much less terrible at this point in our process than I found waiting to test last time. I am just strange I think!

[seeyalater52]

I am absolutely gutted by the Facebook pregnancy announcement today of a friend who got married the same weekend I did. I think I should probably step away from social media at this point but my job makes it so hard to completely disconnect.

Negative this morning 13dpIUI

[gigem]

seeyalater52 ugh so pissed for u and the Bfn still but i was doing some math last night and i tested at 21dpo for my ttc1 bfp and i felt absolutely nothing before then (boobs got big just after).

I also quit fb after about 6mo of ttc1 and ive never rejoined haha.
Xfingers for u, i believe you’ve still got some time. I guess you dont feel your period coming yet?

[compassrose]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you seeyalater52.

[seeyalater52]

Negative again this morning. Thanks for the pep talk. I’m very sure I’m out. My instructions are to stop taking the progesterone if I have a negative on day 14 (that’s today). If I dont stop taking the progesterone I won’t get my period. But I’m afraid somehow I’ll mess things up if I’m secretly pregnant or would start showing late positives this weekend.

Maybe I’ll get a FRER for tomorrow morning (I’ve been testing on strips) or Sunday and stop if that is negative. I’m also playing a weird game where I dont want to waste the progesterone since I’ll need it for another cycle and it’s decently expensive but also trying to push my period start date out a bit so that I’m not due for monitoring and IUI during the weekend my sister gets married. So I dont mind waiting it out a little more I think just to be sure.

[gigem]

seeyalater52
Ugh sorry to hear about bfn again. I hadnt thought about your progesterone and getting your period of course that makes sense. Seems like continuing through the wknd is worth it. Hugs

[seeyalater52]

I just talked to my nurse and she was gentle but very clear that there’s no benefit to waiting to stop the progesterone. So I’m going to stop taking it now. I’m so sad. I cried on the phone with her and I feel like a big baby. I hope my period comes fast because I just want to start again so I can stop feeling so helpless.

[gigem]

oh im so so sorry seeyalater52

[katespade]

seeyalater52 - I'm so sorry about your BFN. I've been feeling the same way about FB lately. There have been so many announcements, people who constantly post updates about their pregnancy, and pictures of adorable new babies. I'm not ready to give up FB, but I really wish I could just filter out pregnancy/baby posts.

[tacom]

seeyalater52 so sorry. 😞

[katespade]

So... CD36 and a large amount of EWCM just randomly showed up. I gave up on OPKs and stopped temping two weeks ago because I assumed this cycle was out... Now I have no idea what to think. We've been having sex every three days lately, so timing isn't great but there's still a chance if I actually do ovulate. I'll be taking an OPK in a bit, but I'm worried it might be too late to get a positive. If it's negative, I guess I'm in limbo for the next two weeks!

[compassrose]

I’m so sorry @seeyalayer52. It’s heartbreaking every time.

Did you pee on an OPK katespade?

[katespade]

compassrose - I can't decide if it's positive or not. H thinks it is, but I'm less confident than he is. Now I'm really annoyed with myself for taking a break from temping.

[seeyalater52]

Nov 17, 2017 17:16:39 GMT -5 katespade said:

compassrose - I can't decide if it's positive or not. H thinks it is, but I'm less confident than he is. Now I'm really annoyed with myself for taking a break from temping.

This looks positive to me!!

[compassrose]

Nov 17, 2017 17:29:17 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Nov 17, 2017 17:16:39 GMT -5 katespade said:

compassrose - I can't decide if it's positive or not. H thinks it is, but I'm less confident than he is. Now I'm really annoyed with myself for taking a break from temping.

This looks positive to me!!

Me too! Get it on girl! Just count two weeks from your last day of EWCM.

[compassrose]

Oh, and just start temping tomorrow katespade if you want to. You might still catch the shift.

[katespade]

Nov 17, 2017 18:57:04 GMT -5 compassrose said:

Nov 17, 2017 17:29:17 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

This looks positive to me!!

Me too! Get it on girl! Just count two weeks from your last day of EWCM.

Happy birthday to me!!

[gigem]

katespade, beautiful pos opk good luck!!!!

[gigem]

I'm CD 29 but I don't have plans to test. I've got my pre-period acne and I'm incredibly cranky/moody which is typical PMS for me so I'm just waiting for AF. My last cycle was oddly 38 days and I hated seeing those bfn's so just gonna ride it out. Hoping AF will come before CD 38 though so at least I can just move on to the next cycle.

[tacom]

katespade yay!

I’ve been reading and it seems like cervical mucus changes and OPKs are more reliable markers of O than temps so don’t kick yourself for taking a break.

[compassrose]

I’m sorry gigem. Are you tracking your CM at all?

[gigem]

compassrose yes i am more or less tracking cm. Thats what makes me think our timing wasnt quite right, my watery/ew was a good 2 days after my pos opk but dh had a horrible wk (pos opk was sun morning so we bd that day) and after one bd on mon evening we didn’t find the time again.

Actually makes me think to ask here... i read diff ideas about checking cm on ur underware vs internally, something along the idea that it takes a day or two for whats really at the cervical opening to get down to your underware? Maybe thats crazy? Does anyone know what tcoyf says? My book is packed up. Thanks!

PS my cervix felt most open about 72hrs after pos opk so again seems like bad timing. Altho to add one more thing my opk was not pos anymore after 72hrs from the first. Sorry for the brain dump!!!

[compassrose]

Nov 18, 2017 9:24:05 GMT -5 gigem said:

compassrose yes i am more or less tracking cm. Thats what makes me think our timing wasnt quite right, my watery/ew was a good 2 days after my pos opk but dh had a horrible wk (pos opk was sun morning so we bd that day) and after one bd on mon evening we didn’t find the time again.

Actually makes me think to ask here... i read diff ideas about checking cm on ur underware vs internally, something along the idea that it takes a day or two for whats really at the cervical opening to get down to your underware? Maybe thats crazy? Does anyone know what tcoyf says? My book is packed up. Thanks!

PS my cervix felt most open about 72hrs after pos opk so again seems like bad timing. Altho to add one more thing my opk was not pos anymore after 72hrs from the first. Sorry for the brain dump!!!

I'm not sure about travel time (although, i'm pretty sure that's not true for me, since it do internal and underwear--they are the same usually), but it sounds like your timing is fine? Between your + OPK and your EWCM being gone, you bd-ed twice? Sounds pretty good to me...
How many days ago was your last EWCM?