Monday vents/celebrations

[twinmomma]

Anything to share?

[twinmomma]

My Vent: My MIL and her sister are pushing me over the edge with the way they treat my SIL. She and BIL don't want kids. They know that their lifestyle doesn't accomodate kids, they know they're not cut out to have that level of responsibility, and they're perfectly happy with no kids. They're awesome aunt/uncle to their nieces and nephews and willingly babysit and hang out with the kids. But every.single.time we get together, MIL starts harping on how they'd be great parents, they're so good with kids, and she blames SIL entirely for them not wanting children. Like, to the point that she talks trash about SIL and tells everyone that she's ruining BIL's life because she doesn't want to have kids and when BIL was a kid, he loved babies, so she can't imagine him not being a dad. It's really awful and getting worse. She brings it up every chance she gets. Other SIL announced she's pregnant again this weekend, and MIL STILL harped on SIL 1 not having kids. And because she always vents about this, DH's aunt gets in on the action and also talks shit about SIL, even when she's right there! It's really weighing on me, and I want to write MIL a nicely worded, but very stern, email about it. She's going to cause major rifts in the family over this BS and it's just getting worse. But, I'm not sure how exactly to approach it. Poor SIL is always telling me and SIL 2 how much she knows everyone hates her and she doesnt' want to come to family gatherings because she's sick of it. It sucks.

Celebration: It's a short week, and I'm NOT doing Thanksgiving with the drama-laden in laws!

[phdmomma]

My vent: So tired and so much to do. It was a good weekend, buts its cold here and we were babysitting my two 5 month old twin nephews for a good chunk of Saturday, which means that I got all of the baby snuggles, but didn't get much done on my to do list. On Sunday afternoon we went to the zoo, which was really fun, it was empty and the kids had a blast. But again, need to get a bunch of stuff done, and that ate into the time. Really I'm just tired and have a ton of work stuff to do this week.

[akafred]

Vent: I spent the weekend doing work. The next month is going to be absolutely killer at work and I honestly don't think I can get it all done. And no one cares. I hate working for my new boss. I like HIM, but I do not like these conditions. I told him I don't know how I will get everything done and he basically laughed at me.

Celebration: I don't have to travel for Thanksgiving. Just the 3 of us.

[polecat8]

Celebration: We started sleep training DS2 and it is going a lot better than expected! I'm letting him cry it out a little instead of running to his crib at the first whine and he is able to put himself back to sleep. The only time he gets up is to have a bottle at midnight. I think I'll start decreasing his midnight bottle slowly starting tonight. I feel like a new person now that I am getting some solid sleep!

Vent: I don't want to deal with my in-laws on Friday. Nothing is ever easy with them. FIL will bust his ass to get dinner on the table at 4pm so SIL #1 can get on the road at a reasonable hour to drive the 3 hours back home. But MIL will be oblivious and be late getting ready. SIL #2 is driving 8 hours by herself to celebrate with us. Luckily, she is staying with MIL and FIL so we don't have to deal with her craziness. She is OCD about her weight/anxiety and goes running and to the gym at 4am and in the middle of the night when she can't sleep. She also wants to go to bed at 8pm. My 3 year old and 8 year old stay up later than her. I'm just so over Friday right now. SIL #2 also has a habit of contradicting my parenting in front of my kids. She doesn't have kids, but she is a teacher and thinks that one class in child psychology gives her the right to make a diagnosis.

[mae0111]

My vent: DD1 is sick. I think it's strep, but if want to wait a bit before getting her tested because it hit her like a ton of bricks this morning. That's how it happens for her - she's running, jumping, playing, and then 2 minutes later I find her slumped in a chair, white as a sheet.

She gets sick for every major holiday. Flu on Christmas (I mean tested positive for influenza, not a stomach thing); 104 fever for her birthday, pneumonia for Easter. I feel so bad. She is so looking forward to seeing family this week.

[HeartofCheese]

Celebration: a literal one. We had DS's bday this weekend and it was a huge success! Good turnout, good vibes (even the raucous ones coming from the screaming children), good food, cute cake (if I don't say so myself), and DS loved the eightybillion Grossery Gang toys he got.

Vent: STBXH is a douche. Definitely getting my fill of being told I don't care about the kids because I've asked (told) him to do something. He used to respond with "Why don't you do it?" Now it's, "No, if you don't do it, you don't care about the kids."

twinmomma, I would express your support to your SIL and tell her you plan on saying something to your MIL. I think it'd be more important for her to know what you think than your MIL.

[erinshelley21]

twinmomma that's such a rough situation. I take it this is your H's brother's wife? Does he ever speak up and say anything? That's definitely his responsibility but I can see why you would want to get involved. I've had to say things to my MIL before about things she's said regarding SIL and one of her kids.
polecat8, it never occurred to me to decrease the amount of oz in DD's overnight bottles until right now lol. I guess that's what lack of sleep does to me. Maybe this will force her to eat more during the day so she'll sleep at night? I can only hope.

[erinshelley21]

HeartofCheese, I want to kick him in the nuts. I hope you get a chance to use that line against him in the near future. I'm sorry he's such an asshole.

[twinmomma]

HeartofCheese, erinshelley21, BIL has spoken up, other SIL has said something, DH has said something. I decided it was finally time to lay it all out there. I emailed MIL with a long explanation of how it's hurting our family dynamic. I've known her since I was a kid and started dating DH at 17, so she and I are very close. I'm hoping it helps.

[sweetptater]

twinmomma , your BIL needs to shut that shit down. It needs to be a "shut up or we'll see you again" type of talk. Your MIL sounds like the type that won't get it.

Celebration: My Christmas decorations are up! I always feel like decorating and cookies are the hardest parts of the holiday to fit into our schedule.

ETA: Saw your update! I hope it helps!

[polecat8]

erinshelley21, in theory, slowly decreasing the nighttime bottles should trigger a baby to eat a little more during the day. What these babies truly do, remains to be seen.

HeartofCheese, can I slap STBXH for you? I really hope you are documenting this stuff. It might be useful in the divorce. Good luck dealing with him!

[rere]

Vent : Crappy weekend. Any medical issues send me on a downward spiral these days. I am just in a complete funk. Plus Dh felt this was a good time to berate me for 45 minutes about moving his tool box that had been on the kitchen table for 2 days. In front of DS. I'm going to have to deal with him at some point on that, but it just put me lower.

Celebrate : My tree is up, much to the excitement of DD. Short week, only 2 1/2 days.

[erinshelley21]

Vent: Holidays are expensive. So are new tires.

Celebration: DH's back is feeling much better so that's a huge relief. My brother and I tested the waters with one of his clients on Friday and told him the news of the merging with another agency. The client had such a positive reaction. I made sure to share that with Asshole first thing this morning. I also told the wife of my biggest client that we are selling the building. Her response was "I don't blame you. Where are you going to work out of" and not "Did you sell the business too?" like Asshole is expecting people to ask. The wife also inquired about how much we are wanting for the building because she's looking for a space for her side business. The building comes with 8 acres and her husband will plant crops anywhere physically possible so this could work out.

[k3am]

We went to Portland for a night as an early birthday celebration. It was a whirlwind trip, but we were able to get a lot in - we went to a dive bar, saw one of my favorite bands, slept in, got a workout in, leisurely breakfast, a trip to Powell's, watched Murder on the Orient Express (so.boring), Voodoo donuts, AND had dinner with our friends who moved a few years ago, and were asleep in our own beds that night. We did more in the time we were there than we normally do all week. No kids is liberating.

Added benefit: DH is now a convert to liking the band. He's spent most of our marriage ignoring the music I listen to and basically arranged the whole trip because he knew I'd love it. He spent all yesterday rocking them on Spotify. (Downfall? He doesn't know the songs well enough to know which ones to skip when kids are listing. Luckily, DD didn't understand all the words when she was screaming WHO THE FUNK IS ALICE???")

[meagain]

Celebrate: I am so excited for Thursday. I love Thanksgiving and seeing the big family. We have it at my aunts so I get to see extended family. Plus, we are leaving after to start our trek to San Antonio. We have never been to Texas so we are all pretty excited. Staying on the Riverwalk.  The best part is that I am off for 5 days from both jobs. Yipee!!!

Vent: Will be a lot of driving this weekend. Wish I could snap my fingers and be there. I like driving at least.

[justcheckingin73]

Celebration: It was a pretty good weekend of solo parenting for me. DD had basketball practice on Friday and two basketball games on the weekend. DS also went to a friends house on Friday so I had some alone time. We did church, grocery shopping, laundry, dinner, etc. It was fun.

DH went to his hometown to go deer hunting but unfortunately my FIL got some bad news about his recent PET scan on Thursday so he wasn’t able to go with DH. It looks like FILs cancer has spread and on top of that, his kidneys weren’t working so he had to be in the hospital for the weekend. DH went hunting twice and got one deer but otherwise spent a lot of time with FIL. He’s incredibly upset about his Dad’s future. Looks like he’ll be getting more aggressive chemo and eventually a stem cell transplant. It does not sound like an easy road for him.

Vent: for DH, the vent goes to his Mom who is divorced from his Dad. My SIL made a last minute decision to drive down (6 hours) to see FIL after the news about the scan, but MIL kept bugging her and DH about when they could see her. DH was getting really annoyed that they were stressing out about when they could visit with MIL and told her they were more concerned about their Dad and if they see her, they see her. She’s coming up here for Thanksgiving so it’s not a major issue. This is a common theme with her - she always needs to be the center of attention. Even when her husband was in the hospital close to death with cancer, her own brother made the comment that it was all about her. I’m just so glad she lives 6 hours away. 

[supertrooper1]

Vent: my uncle is not doing well. He's had cancer for a while but 2 weeks ago went to the hospital because he thought he was having a heart attack. Five days in the hospital and they couldn't figure what was wrong so they moved him to a bigger hospital where they said he had been having strokes for the last week. He is now in a hospice type care facility.

Celebration: I'm off this week. I had taken a project at work as far as I could and was just waiting for feedback from a couple other agencies. I'm glad to not have to work on it this week. I just hope my coworkers can follow through and not mess it up.

[akafred]

Sorry about your uncle, supertrooper1.

[traveltheworld]

I took DD in for her check up and also to talk to the doctor about her excessive shyness issue. Of course she picks that one time to be bubbly, happy and outgoing - waved to all the nurses, responded to the doctor's questions appropriately, and had no problems high-fiving and smiling at the doctor. My doctor probably thinks I'm nuts when I told him that her typical response is to break into tears if a stranger so much as look at her.

I didn't even bother asking for a referral for anything. On the positive note, she is 8th percentile for weight! That's the heaviest she has ever been!

Another celebration : DS got invited to a birthday party for our distant cousin's younger son. We went - all the kids were the birthday boy's classmates from grade 2. I was worried that DS would feel left out or they wouldn't want to play with a kindergartener. But he had a blast and actually made friends.

[covergirl82]

Celebrations: DS's basketball game on Saturday was great. His team won again and he scored 8 of the 20 points in the game. (He was the designated point guard for the game, so that was part of the reason he scored almost half of the points.) Also, it's a two-day work week (Monday and Tuesday) for me!

Vent: Not looking forward to driving 10 hours each day on Wednesday and Saturday.

supertrooper1, sorry to hear about your uncle.

[erinshelley21]

supertrooper1, justcheckingin73, I'm sorry about the news you both got over the weekend.

[2chatter]

I’m working from the beach and it’s going well, so all good here! I have a view of the bay and palm trees and it’s gorgeous.

Yesterday we had lunch with some of my college friends and the kids had a total blast. They are coming to hang out with us this weekend, super excited.

Vent: DH is cranky. I’m trying to ignore him. But he seriously needs an attitude adjustment.

[186momx]

You know how I was venting about my SIL and her crazy visit schedule. Guess what they cancelled Friday afternoon. Their dog was at the emergency vet and my nephew got sent home from daycare so they didn't want to have him around other people/kids.

Weekend was just weird. Got the house x-mas lights up and some of the yard lights staked in as the weather was nice. Also started deep cleaning/rearranging the living room in prep for the tree. DH was all over the place with his moods and seemed like a lost puppy most of the weekend. DD had a really great riding lesson last night and was able to get Cloud to trot on her own a number of times so huge improvement. Then we watched her riding instructor ride him really fast a couple times as she was practicing for a horse gaming event this coming weekend which showed DD that Cloud can go fast you just have to make him.

Big Vent: I told our friends about the racks I ordered for DH as they shop at REI a lot too. They let it slip as they didn't realize I was keeping it for Christmas. Now I have to figure out a new gift as DH knows and he wants them early so he can use them this weekend. I told him they weren't scheduled to arrive before Thanksgiving. I was so pissed but am over it now and not going to try again as I used up my budget.

[sweetptater]

Nov 20, 2017 10:58:09 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

Of course she picks that one time to be bubbly, happy and outgoing - waved to all the nurses, responded to the doctor's questions appropriately, and had no problems high-fiving and smiling at the doctor. 

This is totally something my DD would do. Freaking kids.

[saraml13]

DS1 recently turned 3, and the omg the whining is going to kill me.

Meanwhile DS2 is in a clingy, must only be held by Mommy phase. So yeah.

[twinmomma]

Well, not a peep out of MIL since I emailed her. But, I know she's been online because she was responding to other stuff on Facebook. I've either gotten through to her and she's shamefully thinking about her actions or I've completely alienated her and she refuses to acknowledge me.

[polecat8]

This is a late post...
There was another police officer killed in the line of duty in my area on Friday (you might have heard about it on the national news). This is the second police officer to be killed in a year in my area. There was a massive manhunt for the suspect and he was caught early this morning. Three additional people were arrested in connection with hiding this scumbag, including the suspect's mother. I am so angry, not only at the suspect, but also those who hid him, thinking that it was their duty to protect him from justice.
Whenever these events occur, I am horrified and sick to my stomach because two of my brothers are police officers. They and other law enforcement personnel put their lives on the line to make our communities safe. These events make me worry that they essentially have targets on their backs just for doing their jobs. I have heard about some of their encounters in some nice and not-so-nice areas of town and I can't believe some of the people they have encountered.
Sometimes I wonder what goes through these suspects' minds when they believe they need to resist police arrest so vehemently that they will do whatever it takes, including taking a police officer's life.
My brothers have been to far too many police officers' funerals in over a decade that they have done this and it is times like these that make me wonder how there can be such evil in our world. My heart aches for the slain officer's family (both personal and professional) and those who devote their lives to law enforcement. The life of a police officer is not an easy one and I pray that my family will never receive one of those calls.

[covergirl82]

I have a celebration to add: DS told me after I picked him (and DD) up from school that he completed the subtraction section of math. His teacher is now moving him on to 3rd grade math (DS is in 2nd grade), and he'll be starting multiplication!! I'm so super proud of him. As long as he continues to excel in math, he will hopefully be well positioned for college and a good career.

[supertrooper1]

polecat8, thank you, very well written. I hope your brothers stay safe.

My sister agency lost someone in the line of duty a couple of days ago in a different part of the country than I'm in. We received an email at work shortly after it happened, but I didn't bring it up with DH until he saw it in the news because I don't want him to unnecessarily worry.

When I started 12 years ago, it was specific threats, like a certain person or group that was making threats to LE. Now it's so widespread that we just get generic warnings to be careful on and off duty. I don't tell people what I do for work. I have a made up profession if someone like a cashier asks. I wear a cover jacket to and from work.