TWERKS?

[xctsclrx]

I am going to start this because I have updates:

1. I now have a plum with a strong heartbeat. I had my doctors appt. yesterday and heartbeat was 168 I have my planned c section scheduled for June 6th which will be 38 weeks exactly. Due to the complications I had with my last delivery, my doctors don't want me to risk going into labor at all. We MIGHT have a boy name picked out. We know the middle name will be James, but I am open to suggestions for the first name. Right now we are on Alexander, but I am not sold. 

2. I am not sure if I told the board this, but my co-worker found out that her husband was cheating. She doesn't know if it was physical or not, but there were 8,000 plus text messages over a week period. When she found out he admitted that he was planning on filing for divorce this summer, but wanted to get some of his and her debt paid off before hand. Then he physically attacked her and destroyed her phone when his girlfriend started messaging her. 

They are going to try to work things out. I told her that the laying hands on her was a deal breaker for me, but she really wants to make it work. I understand wanting to make it work but terrified for her that things might get worse so I backed off. Hopefully she will tell me if he gets physical again. I want to be here for her. 

[k3am]

We have DS's audiology appointment next week... We got the referral because, at the time of his 18-month appointment, he only had 3 words, usually used with no context. He has since added hello, milk, and where dada?, so I'm hopeful that the appointment is basically checking the box. (Although, I probably just jinxed myself, since that's what his MRI was...)

They never scheduled DD's 3-month phone appointment with the epileptologist where we were supposed to discuss weaning her off meds. Emailed them to see what's going on, and the response was that "he's been busy." Hokay. Hopefully, we get on the calendar soon.

[k3am]

xctsclrx, I'm with you... I'm sure there are exceptions and I may find myself feeling differently one day, but I'm in the camp that cheating and physical abuse are things are a relationship generally can't recover from.

[covergirl82]

xctsclrx , I am partial to the name Con.nor, because that is DS's name. And his middle name is James, so I think it goes together pretty well. Also, I'm a June birthday and am partial to even numbers, so I think you have a great birthday picked out.

I would agree that the line is drawn at any sort of abuse. One couple I know has gotten through cheating (similar thing - lots of texting, not sure if was physical) and are doing good now, but abuse should never be tolerated. One of my coworkers had an abusive husband (this was years ago, before I worked with her), and she said it got progressively worse.

[akafred]

I have been with the new boss for about 6 weeks, I think. I hate it. Every single concern I have has either been proven out completely or all signs indicate it will happen that way. It took him weeks to have an introductory meeting with me. I expressed the 2 areas I need support in and told him that the schedule for the upcoming budget submission for next year coupled with earlier than usual executive meetings in December makes it extremely difficult to get everything done and I could really use help especially with a computer software program I am new to. He made it clear that he has a big project going on and everyone is busy. Basically he said he doesn't want anything to change until his big project is done, at which point I will be expected to train one of my coworkers who wants a change in responsibilities to do my job and I will be taking on a new role that, frankly, I do not want. All of this I was informed about, never asked about or consulted with. I have been working my ass off all alone on both projects. Since I walked out the door on Friday, I have done 30 hours of overtime. Not 30 hours total. 30 hours of overtime. And I really hate it. But there is a hiring freeze and I am stuck unless I change companies.

DD is doing so well back on Strattera. I have been practically neglecting her with all the overtime, but she has been an angel. We'll see how long it lasts though.

[xctsclrx]

akafred, I am sorry that sucks. I have no advice to give. I am glad your DD is doing well though

covergirl82, We have a lot of C names in my family, or names that start with the hard C sound so I am trying to stay away from those. I count 8 between my in laws, my parents and my immediate family. I might start a separate thread soon.

[supertrooper1]

DS hasn't thrown up at preschool or freaked out since last week. He's been wearing a Paw Patrol bracelet which helped, plus he spoke to the school counselor one on one. The counselor gave him tips on how to cope with his anxious feelings. One of which was to find a quiet place at home and have a conversation with me or DH. He has requested quiet time with me a couple of times in edition to just being with me at home. I think part of it was from being home with me for almost a week over Thanksgiving and then being away from me, even though he's never had separation issues before. He also did tell me in a quiet place conversation with me that he was upset about one kid in his class that couldn't do the "freeze dance" correctly. I told him he can help the kids in his class, but he wasn't respected for them doing the right thing on his own. We also got a note from our pedi saying that he throws up frequently when he is not sick so the school doesn't have to send him home automatically. I dropped him off after lunch yesterday at daycare so I could go to a funeral and he didn't even want to leave me then. So I need to work on quality time with DS.

My great aunt's funeral was yesterday. She was 98. It was in my hometown and I saw so many people I hadn't seen since I moved away 17 years ago. It did make me feel good that people were excited to see me, knowing that they have good memories of me. My brother...not so much. My uncle's funeral is tomorrow. This one is going to be harder on me. My uncle's wife was at the funeral yesterday and she looked miserable. I feel so bad for her.

[mustardseed2007]

xctsclrx, I have 3 boy name suggestions and they are all super weird/hipstery but I can't resist sharing b/c we are done having babies:

1. Linus
2. Roscoe
3. Atticus

On a more somber note, so sorry for you guys akafred, and supertrooper1.

[librarychica]

xctsclrx, I’m partial to Daniel.

[librarychica]

Dec 7, 2017 10:56:30 GMT -5 k3am said:

xctsclrx, I'm with you... I'm sure there are exceptions and I may find myself feeling differently one day, but I'm in the camp that cheating and physical abuse are things are a relationship generally can't recover from.

I can see recovering from a one night stand or short period of very poor judgment, but he was planning on leaving her! He is likely still planning on leaving her.

And physical abuse = divorce in my mind. I would never be comfortable in that relationship again.

[librarychica]

supertrooper1, I’m so sorry for your losses.

[librarychica]

My twerks: still working a lot, very tired, looking forward to January when my schedule will go back to normal. I am not going to open my laptop on a Sunday for that whole month and I don’t care what happens!

H still has not scheduled his vasectomy consultation. I think I’m settling into the being done feeling, though, so he needs to get that done. We have been doing so well as a family of 4 lately, I’ve been feeling, shall we say, less perky and energetic than when DD1 was born 6 years ago. Also, I’m enthusiastically planning a 10 year anniversary trip to Japan for early 2019. Should cost about what a pregnancy and deliver would. 😉

[judyblume14]

xctsclrx, my dad thinks my birthday is June 6th. That was my mom's due date, and I came a little early. EVERY YEAR, a few days before, he says "your birthday is the 6th, right?" I don't know if he's joking or simply can't push the date from his mind! Glad things are looking good with the babe!

supertrooper1, sounds like you guys are making good progress. I hope it continues!

[2chatter]

DS went to school ready to point to the child that has been calling him a dork and loser. I’m nervous for him and told him to at least walk over to the counselor and say “the blonde boy in the green jacket and black pants” if he didn’t feel like he could point.

[erinshelley21]

xctsclrx I'm sorry about your co-worker. it's hard to say what I would actually do if I were her but the fact that this was not a one night stand kind of thing AND he abused her AND he was planning on leaving, I would hope I would walk away. I hope things work out for the best for her. As for baby names, some of my faves have been Hudson, Easton, Lucas, and Wesley.

[xctsclrx]

PDQ and I will delete fairly quickly.

poof

I absolutely hate the SS1 and SS2 have the same initials. Makes labeling hard and I just don't like it. So I am trying to make sure that this baby isn't too matchey with our other kiddos. Our last name begins with an R and ends in the en sound. However, I love L names apparently so that is hard.

mustardseed2007 , haha I used to call DS1 Linus because he always carried around his blue baby blanket, but not something I could name my kid because of the peanuts

erinshelley21 , we used one of those already funny

[sweetptater]

Dec 7, 2017 12:04:24 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

xctsclrx , I have 3 boy name suggestions and they are all super weird/hipstery but I can't resist sharing b/c we are done having babies:

1. Linus
2. Roscoe
3. Atticus

On a more somber note, so sorry for you guys akafred , and supertrooper1 .

I have a cat named Linus. There is no point to me sharing that. 

[polecat8]

Yesterday, a potential investor visited my company. They are looking to acquire us and we've been in talks with them for a month. I got a good vibe from their team and it looks really promising. We are currently owned by a large corporation and I'm hoping that the last details can be worked out and the deal can be signed before the end of the year.

xctsclrx, I am a fan of slightly unusual baby names. That's why my boys are Auron and Odin.

[traveltheworld]

2chatter, good luck to your DS. I hope it goes well. I hate that the school is not taking this seriously.

I have to the presentation with my business team to the Board in about 2 hours on a transaction that we've been working on that needs approval. Everyone is nervous and the team was here till well past midnight last night preparing. I feel a bit sick to my stomach.

In better news, DD (2.5) has started to talk in long, complete sentences. She didn't have any words at 15 months, only a few at 18 months, we put her in speech therapy (not sure if it helped), so it's good to know that she's fine now. Other update is that she seems to be adjusting to DC a bit better. No longer throws a big cry/scream fest. When we ask her, she still says she doesn't like it, but I think it's slowly improving.

[k3am]

I have a friend whose son is named Atticus. He's a cute kid. I know they're not for everyone, but I love names that are off the beaten path.. as evidenced by my own children.

[2chatter]

xctsclrx - I think you need a Finn! Phineas or Finley - but it’s a great SN with your existing list - and it’s the name I never got to use.

[2chatter]

traveltheworld - I agree BUT I don’t know how else they would proceed either - they pulled DS yesterday and showed him the yearbook and he couldn’t pick the kid out. The counselor is going to stay in the gym with them this morning. With my luck that kid is sick today. But even if he is that should narrow it down!

I’m hoping DS has more to tell me after school today.

[mustardseed2007]

Dec 7, 2017 12:57:06 GMT -5 sweetptater said:

Dec 7, 2017 12:04:24 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

xctsclrx , I have 3 boy name suggestions and they are all super weird/hipstery but I can't resist sharing b/c we are done having babies:

1. Linus
2. Roscoe
3. Atticus

On a more somber note, so sorry for you guys akafred , and supertrooper1 .

I have a cat named Linus. There is no point to me sharing that. 

LOL! It was honestly my #1 name before we found out that DD was a girl. H didn't want it b/c of the peanuts character. I wanted it precisely because of the peanuts character. 

[mustardseed2007]

2chatter, please update, I'm dying to hear the resolution to this. I hope they figure this out and handle it right.

[2chatter]

mustardseed2007 - me too! The district adopted a zero tolerance policy that can end in expulsion with ONE bullying incident, on or off campus. I’m
hoping they put it in place for the “go kill yourself” kind of taunting, but it’s a pretty heavily worded, lengthy policy. The first TWO WEEKS of school were minimal instruction with focuses on emotional health, communication, community building and identity - it was really interesting, thorough, and frankly surprising for a large public school district that’s known for its academic rigor.

I am hoping that translates to clean handling - the counselor has a lot of experience, has been with the district a long time and has kids in this school, so I feel like all signs point to a good outcome for all parties. But then again, I never know - DD was called in by the previous counselor for a cyber bullying discussion. The trick? She didn’t have a phone or iPad. She was included because her friends were. She was totally lost and hadn’t seen any of it. So ... there’s that kind of BS in our history.

[erinshelley21]

I haven't heard from SIL since Monday night when she was texting me about her daughter taking money from us. Ex-bil is supposedly bringing niece by my house tonight so she can apologize according to MIL. Niece also didn't say anything to me when we were at MIL's at the same time yesterday. So, we shall see what happens tonight.

[HeartofCheese]

xctsclrx, I like Crispin and Wilson but they're family names (and a C name), so probably not too appealing to you (or anyone). How about Dane, Langdon, or Hugh? You could have a Baby Hughy!

I have no updates. Still getting divorced. STBX seems compelled to lie about his girlfriend, but I think he's only doing it so I'll tell him how I found out and what I know. We have to spend the holidays together which is good for the kids. Someday he'll move out. Hopefully that someday is sometime during the next 3 mos. I hate our current normal and I don't like that it's "normal." I want to get used to him not being around while we get divorced instead of getting divorced, then mourning it all afterwards. I'm currently functioning at a pretty low level everywhere except my family life b/c family life takes just so much energy right now, and it sucks to think that the most emotional part won't even happen until he's moved out and/or it's over. Hopefully my job will survive through the whole process.

All that aside, I am superexcited about Christmas! I love giving gifts and hopefully my wallet does, too!

[mae0111]

Still trying to figure out if I should take the settlement or kick off the class action suit. I'm hoping to have a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow, and several former colleagues will join the conference call. He's doing some research, but sounded very positive about the outcome of a class action. His firm does not handle class actions, so the fact that he's encouraging me despite the fact that he won't get the business from it is promising to me.

My former boss is still out of work after a year. I don't feel too bad for him, as I know he got a 7-figure package when he left, but he's too young to retire, so he's still looking. He asked me to write him a linkedin recommendation, so I sent him a draft. He edited it and sent it back. His version basically took credit for everything I did while working for him. More of the same - him taking credit for the good stuff. Whatever. I posted it. Don't care anymore.

One big confession/update: I'm having a much harder time staying home than I thought I would. I like about 75% of it, but there's a lot I miss. I miss using my MBA and my business mind to drive project toward a successful completion. Dabbling in DH's business helps, but it's not quite enough. I thought I'd fix a lot of issues with my kids, and instead, I seem to have created new ones. Their behavior is now so poor that I don't take them anywhere. All the fun Christmas activities we typically have planned are canceled. School pick-ups are embarrassing because they begin to fight almost immediately. I'm horrified like 90% of the time. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I'm in between my working friends who either don't quite understand or don't care to, and the SAHM's crew that I haven't been able to break into yet... who still say things like "We loved your nanny. You must have too. I mean, she raised your kids for over 4 years!"

So... yeah... hard time right now...

[mustardseed2007]

Dec 7, 2017 13:53:26 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

the SAHM's crew that I haven't been able to break into yet... who still say things like "We loved your nanny. You must have too. I mean, she raised your kids for over 4 years!"

So... yeah... hard time right now...

oh fuuuck them. 

Maybe it's a phase with your kids? My kids have been really awful lately also and fight so much. I had a come to Jesus with them last night and took a bunch of privileges away. It seemed to help this morning. Also, giving them space between each other helps as well. I mean, mine are 3 and 5 but this is FWIW. 

[waverly]

On our tax issue- we hired a tax attorney and he sent it to us for our approval which shows that we only owe $63.00. Don't know if the IRS will accept it, but much better than the number the IRS was claiming.