End of February thread

[Mushe]

Man, the things I don’t know about parenting could fill a book, but the biggest surprise for me was how many DECISIONS I had to make, and how important each one was, like whether to go with the flow on where our centers placed DS, or push to move to a different room.

I’m thinking of you guys going through these transitions, and hoping for smooth ones for all!

[knx9211]

shauni27, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Almost I audibly gasped when I read your post, HOW SCARY. I can't believe that thing snapped! Hoping that S feels better and is sleeping well soon

thoseareradishes, my kid is also OBSESSED with flipping that damn page on the activity table back and forth. It's 95% of what he does with that table. He takes very little interest in the rest.

5 more days until we put P on a plane. Pittsburgh to Sacramento with a stop in Denver. Some dick bought the seat next to us even though there were a bunch of open seats, so I hate him very much. Or her. Whatever. I hope there are enough open seats that they move to another row.

P is majorly struggling right now. I don't know if he's getting another tooth or what, but he's MISERABLE. I want my happy baby back! He's crying in his sleep, waking up too early and then being cranky because he's tired... He can't be left to play by himself at all. Wants you to pick him up but then doesn't want to be held. This morning he was in his high chair, I look over just in time to see him smash his face down onto the tray as hard as he could. I have no idea why he did that but he was obviously very upset that he did. Poor little guy.

[shauni27]

knx9211, ugh, miserable babies are the worst. I am sorry. I hope he cheers up soon and that the flight goes well!

[Mushe]

knx9211, you’re coming to Sacramento??? We ended up freezing our asses off so much during our trip to Pittsburgh after Christmas that I didn’t reach out to anyone there to try to meet up. My old moms group has like 4 ladies there, and I hope to meet you some day too!

shauni27, happy birthday!!!

[knx9211]

Feb 27, 2018 10:56:10 GMT -5 Mushe said:

knx9211 , you’re coming to Sacramento??? We ended up freezing our asses off so much during our trip to Pittsburgh after Christmas that I didn’t reach out to anyone there to try to meet up. My old moms group has like 4 ladies there, and I hope to meet you some day too!

shauni27 , happy birthday!!!

That would be amazing! Let me know next time you're back!

We're flying into Sacramento and staying in Healdsburg for the week.  Wine tasting seems like a super appropriate activity to do with a baby I'm mostly out of my mind excited because my parents are watching him Wednesday night because I scored reservations at the French Laundry. I CANNOT WAIT.

[Mushe]

Feb 27, 2018 11:15:37 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Feb 27, 2018 10:56:10 GMT -5 Mushe said:

knx9211 , you’re coming to Sacramento??? We ended up freezing our asses off so much during our trip to Pittsburgh after Christmas that I didn’t reach out to anyone there to try to meet up. My old moms group has like 4 ladies there, and I hope to meet you some day too!

shauni27 , happy birthday!!!

That would be amazing! Let me know next time you're back!

We're flying into Sacramento and staying in Healdsburg for the week.  Wine tasting seems like a super appropriate activity to do with a baby I'm mostly out of my mind excited because my parents are watching him Wednesday night because I scored reservations at the French Laundry. I CANNOT WAIT.

Squee! What an amazing trip. I adore Healdsburg, and the Russian River Valley. They are chill about babies, generally. DS has been to his fair share of wineries!

👍 on choosing Sac! Many people fly into SF, but I find it such a PITA. We try to only use it for international trips.

[knx9211]

Feb 27, 2018 11:42:09 GMT -5 Mushe said:

Feb 27, 2018 11:15:37 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

That would be amazing! Let me know next time you're back!

We're flying into Sacramento and staying in Healdsburg for the week.  Wine tasting seems like a super appropriate activity to do with a baby I'm mostly out of my mind excited because my parents are watching him Wednesday night because I scored reservations at the French Laundry. I CANNOT WAIT.

Squee! What an amazing trip. I adore Healdsburg, and the Russian River Valley. They are chill about babies, generally. DS has been to his fair share of wineries!

👍 on choosing Sac! Many people fly into SF, but I find it such a PITA. We try to only use it for international trips.

Yes, that was my dad's idea! I never would have thought to do that, but we've flown through SF report and it was a little difficult. I'm glad to not be doing it with the baby.

P is super chill (except the last week - see previous post!) so if you have any good recommendations of where to take him for lunch and/or dinner, let me know! I know we have a reservation at Dry Creek Kitchen sometime during the week. Last time we stayed in Sonoma, my mom loved Bottega, so we're going back there, too. I can't wait!

[knx9211]

Also I looked at the seating chart again for our flight. That dummy that booked the seat next to us is a real dope. There was an entire row next to us open. So I called United and had them move us and booked us the aisle and window with the hope that no one would book the middle seat. Fingers crossed. None of the other flights seem to be an issue.

[cactuscookie]

Feb 27, 2018 13:03:43 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Also I looked at the seating chart again for our flight. That dummy that booked the seat next to us is a real dope. There was an entire row next to us open. So I called United and had them move us and booked us the aisle and window with the hope that no one would book the middle seat. Fingers crossed. None of the other flights seem to be an issue.

My parents do this all the time. Even if someone does book the middle, it'll be easy to switch with them.

[knx9211]

Feb 27, 2018 13:29:12 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Feb 27, 2018 13:03:43 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Also I looked at the seating chart again for our flight. That dummy that booked the seat next to us is a real dope. There was an entire row next to us open. So I called United and had them move us and booked us the aisle and window with the hope that no one would book the middle seat. Fingers crossed. None of the other flights seem to be an issue.

My parents do this all the time. Even if someone does book the middle, it'll be easy to switch with them.

I can't believe that I didn't think of it when I booked in the first place!

[pandora89]

2 months till I am off on maternity leave, or 42 working days. I am going to start working from home a few days a week soon so hopefully that makes things more manageable. Ill be gone on leave for at least a year and they have still yet to post my position. My manager has been harassing HR to get it posted so I can help train the person but who knows when that will happen.

knx9211 - my parents and us all booked aisle/window seats for our trip to London (there and back) and no one sat in between us either way! Hopefully no books that seat!

[loira]

knx9211, so jealous of your French Laundry reservations! Have fun!

[thoseareradishes]

E is not adjusting to the 2 nap schedule well. She's overtired but can't seem to nap longer than an hour a lot of the time. She's waking early in the night and crying/screaming and is super hard to settle. But will then sleep the rest of the night, which is fabulous, but she's got to get her naps longer. She has 3 appointments in the next 10 days and I'm not looking forward to the disrupted naps.

[shauni27]

thoseareradishes, I am so sorry. Mom of a bad sleeper over here including naps. It suuuuucks.

[scm1011]

Mar 1, 2018 8:31:52 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

thoseareradishes , I am so sorry. Mom of a bad sleeper over here including naps. It suuuuucks.

To give you both hope, my shitty sleeper and even shittier napper really improved at the one year mark. Before one year he took two 30-40 minute naps a day if we were lucky. He was down to one 30-40 minute nap at around 10 months. Now he sleeps 2-2.5 hours once a day and its GLORIOUS.

[lo]

Also have a crappy sleeper over here! 9.5 months. I will say within the last month she’s giving me a 2 hour nap in morning and again in afternoon. Oh she’s still sleeping in her auto rock n play for naps.... oops. I buckle her in tight and watch the monitor. She really just seems to be a baby who craves motion and a human touch to sleep. She’s still up every 1-2 hours at night. Last night I brought her in bed with me and she slept for 3 hours and it was amazing, but I don’t like bedsharing.

My H is being a selfish annoying fuck about his sleep lately and I’m over it and over him.

[thoseareradishes]

Thanks guys. I just feel bad for her - I can see how tired she is by the end of the day. Thankfully she sleeps well at night, but she can't ever seem to catch up. She has a dentist appt today so I might need to wake her early from her nap, boooo.

[shauni27]

lo, sister wife status here. Same with S, I put him in the auto rock n play for most naps AND half the night when I am desperate for more than an hour of sleep at a time. In the RnP he will sleep 6 hours straight. And also, solidarity on being over your H and his poor baby lack of sleep. H also complains about how exhausted he is and hoe he needs more sleep. Um, you get up once a night with the baby compared to my 6. Hell no.

[scm1011]

Mar 1, 2018 9:49:00 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

H also complains about how exhausted he is and hoe he needs more sleep. Um, you get up once a night with the baby compared to my 6. Hell no.

OMG the RAAAGGGGEEEE I used to feel over this exact thing. I did all the wake-ups (because I nursed), and DH would complain about how tired he was every morning. Once I lost it and yelled about how I didn't want to hear it because I did 100% of the wake-ups his response was all "but I can still hear him on the monitor every time he cries! It wakes me up!". OMG, poor baby has to deal with the 45 seconds it takes me to respond to his crying while staying nestled snug in bed with his eyes closed. GTFO with that sob story.

[mpc]

Mar 1, 2018 9:55:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Mar 1, 2018 9:49:00 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

H also complains about how exhausted he is and hoe he needs more sleep. Um, you get up once a night with the baby compared to my 6. Hell no.

OMG the RAAAGGGGEEEE I used to feel over this exact thing. I did all the wake-ups (because I nursed), and DH would complain about how tired he was every morning. Once I lost it and yelled about how I didn't want to hear it because I did 100% of the wake-ups his response was all "but I can still hear him on the monitor every time he cries! It wakes me up!". OMG, poor baby has to deal with the 45 seconds it takes me to respond to his crying while staying nestled snug in bed with his eyes closed. GTFO with that sob story.

My H would disappear during the day and I'd find him snuggled up in bed taking a nap. He would say I can't help it that I'm so tired! It seriously boiled over into one of the biggest fights of our marriage. 

[scm1011]

ahhh mpc that would infuriate me. When DH sleeps in too long I go in, dump DS on the bed and announce "good morning! I'm getting in the shower!"

[shauni27]

Mar 1, 2018 11:02:37 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

ahhh mpc that would infuriate me. When DH sleeps in too long I go in, dump DS on the bed and announce "good morning! I'm getting in the shower!"

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you guys. I cannot reiterate enough how much sleep G got at the beginning. Like, I did all night feedings because, boobs. And so G would sleep all night and then sleep in until 10 for his paternity leave. It was infuriating. But honestly, S was nursing constantly so there wasn't much G could do other than support me, so I just let him sleep. In hindsight that might be where this rocky relationship of inbalanced parenting started.

[scm1011]

shauni27, I think the same exact thing happened with us. FWIW, things have been A LOT better since I weaned and DS started STTN. Now we take turns every other day who gets up with C in the morning (since he's up at 5:30am, before either of us need to be awake). On weekends each of us has a morning to "sleep in" (8:30-9am), and then the person who was on wake up duty gets a couple hours "off" to do as they please (for me its usually when I get my long run in). Its working really well, and my resentment is pretty much gone. Hang in there! <3

[scm1011]

Not word vomit, @daylily. I think that is an incredibly true assessment and well-articulated point.

[mpc]

On one hand, having 2 kids has really balanced out the parenting thing, despite EBFing. Maybe not so much for the baby, but my H has had to take on so much more of the responsibility for our older child. He does 90% of the bedtime routine for DS, for example.

But man, the joy I felt when we switched to bottles overnight and started trading off nights. It's amazing how much better everything is when you get to sleep a whole night through. We ended up doing a mix of BF and formula much earlier with this baby and it has been a double edged sword, for sure. I'm sad about not being able to provide everything she needs, but it can be such a relief not being the one responsible 100% of the time.

[mpc]

And even if the mom is planning to EBF, I tell all new dads they should be getting up for every wake up in the middle of the night (at least for the first couple months) to change the baby's diaper and get mom water and snacks if she needs it. Take whatever load off of her that you can!

[scm1011]

mpc, if #2 works out I think I'll probably combo feed once maternity leave ends. It seems like such a more manageable balance. I put so much pressure on myself to EBF for one year, and I'm proud that I did, but in hindsight I think the cons outweighed the benefits.

[cactuscookie]

I EBF because H wouldn't take a bottle, and it sucked. It sucked that I had no flexibility and that I couldn't be apart for her for more than a couple of hours. Everything was stressful - going to the doctor by myself, going to a meeting at work (even on maternity leave, there were a few meetings I wanted to be part of), seeing friends, even going for a run or taking a shower - because if she woke up, I needed to be there to feed her or she would just scream and scream. Combo feeding definitely seems like a better solution.

[shauni27]

We EBF for a grand total of 3 weeks and it was so miserable and was without a doubt the longest three weeks of my life. In part because S was starving and unable to get a good latch. Once we did combo feeding I was in heaven--the closeness of BF plus the ease of having bottles and help from G. Alas, S only continued to BF until week 6 and then decided the bottle was easier for him so he just gave up. While it was a LOT more freeing, I am still sad that I didn't BF longer only because I relished the sweet cuddly time and it was something only we could do, it was just between us and it felt so special.

[cactuscookie]

Mar 1, 2018 15:55:40 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

We EBF for a grand total of 3 weeks and it was so miserable and was without a doubt the longest three weeks of my life. In part because S was starving and unable to get a good latch. Once we did combo feeding I was in heaven--the closeness of BF plus the ease of having bottles and help from G. Alas, S only continued to BF until week 6 and then decided the bottle was easier for him so he just gave up. While it was a LOT more freeing, I am still sad that I didn't BF longer only because I relished the sweet cuddly time and it was something only we could do, it was just between us and it felt so special.

This is why I'm still breastfeeding a 2-year-old, which I never expected to do.