End of February thread

[shauni27]

Morning, everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend. oneslybookworm, how are you holding up? I was thinking of you all weekend.

S has reverted to waking up every 1-2 hours. He simply cannot self soothe so I need to go in there and rock him for a few minutes before he falls back asleep. How do we get through this? It is not sustainable. Once he starts crying he just wails and wails and can go hours. We have tried CIO in various methods/progressiveness and it simply doesn't work. I do not know what to do to get him to self soothe. Any suggestions?

Other than that he is starting to feel a bit better. Still has some cold symptoms and is coughing at night a lot. Had a baby shower this weekend and he was so good while we were there. He is a sweetie for sure, despite the lack of sleep, lol.

[scm1011]

I'm so sorry, oneslybookworm . I never got to comment in last weeks thread but I read about your dad's passing. Big hugs, friend.

shauni27 , ugh. I have been there, and you're right, its not sustainable. We gave Cal a lovey to help self soothe (Angel dear bunny). I know that's technically a no-no before one year (he was 5-6 months when we gave it to him), but he learned to chew on the bunny ears as a way to self soothe.

All is well here. DH and I went to SF last week for 4 days (part work trip for me) and left DS with my sister (first time we had left him!). We had a blast, and so did C, but his best monkey friend had a run in with my sister's dog and that has turned into a disaster of comical proportions (see my thread on MMM lol).  

[shauni27]

scm1011, he has a lovey and he can use it a little to self soothe. Like, he will chew it and rub it against his face WHILE screaming for us to come pick him up lol. And also LOL about monkey! and lastly, I have always wondered what the MM stands for in MM moms? (stupid, party of one.)

[scm1011]

shauni27 , aww, I'm sorry the lovey doesn't work. Is it you that he wants? Would it help to send G in instead? When I night weaned DH did all MOTN wake ups for the first couple nights (after doing pretty much zero in the preceding 12 months). Once Cal realized I wasn't coming, he started STTN. But again, he was 12.5 months when we finally got there. Hang in there. He'll get it eventually (I know that's little comfort now though).

And the MM stands for Money Matters. The offshoot happened when the OG MM board started getting inundated with kid-related posts and the childless weren't psyched about it. That was before MM became a ghost town lol.


ETA: I think @daylily has good advice.

[mpc]

shauni27, I'm so sorry about the sleep thing. i don't know what to suggest. We did CIO (ferber) with both kids and if it hadn't worked I don't know what I would've done.

As for me, I am doing a lot better this week. I'm a little embarrassed that I was like, my baby has a heartbeat, please comfort me! lol. but the emotions that go along with all of this are nuts, you all know this. Im trying to let go of the worrying and have a little optimism. I went bridesmaid dress shopping this weekend with my SILs and I wasn't quite optimistic enough to order the dress yet, but I promised I would as soon as I have my next ultrasound.

[cactuscookie]

We started H at her new daycare this morning. I really think she'll be just fine there, but of course she cried when we left, which also made me cry. Poor thing just needs some stability after the last few crazy weeks.

[shauni27]

cactuscookie, aw, poor things! Change like that is hard.

Thanks all, for the thoughts and ideas. Part of me wonders if we did not let him CIO enough? We have tried now on 4 separate occasions to let him CIO using the ferber method, letting him cry up to 1.5 hours to the point of throwing up. After 2 or 3 days we stop trying because it does not improve what so ever during those three days. But maybe we are throwing in the towel too soon?

The other thing is H just is not helpful with this. His patience is so low and he just gets frustrated so he rocks S to sleep all the way so that way he can get back to doing whatever it was he was doing (dinner, sleeping, etc). It is conflicting for S and also erases what I am trying to teach him. I explain it to H until I am red in the face, but shy of being in there with him while he does it, I am not sure what to do.

I am beyond frustrated.

[janegold]

Feb 26, 2018 12:16:41 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

cactuscookie , aw, poor things! Change like that is hard.

Thanks all, for the thoughts and ideas. Part of me wonders if we did not let him CIO enough? We have tried now on 4 separate occasions to let him CIO using the ferber method, letting him cry up to 1.5 hours to the point of throwing up. After 2 or 3 days we stop trying because it does not improve what so ever during those three days. But maybe we are throwing in the towel too soon?

The other thing is H just is not helpful with this. His patience is so low and he just gets frustrated so he rocks S to sleep all the way so that way he can get back to doing whatever it was he was doing (dinner, sleeping, etc). It is conflicting for S and also erases what I am trying to teach him. I explain it to H until I am red in the face, but shy of being in there with him while he does it, I am not sure what to do.

I am beyond frustrated.

I would definitely give it more time.  I've read all the time on here of sleep training only taking a few nights, but a few friends and I hired a sleep consultant when we were all heading into the sleep regression months and she mentioned that for some babies, it takes more like 2 weeks. I'm SO glad I heard that advice because I don't think we would have stuck it out otherwise.  But sure enough, right around 2 weeks, the sleep training finally kicked in and it was so worth it.

You're right though, that you both need to be really, really on board because it's not easy.  Maybe you can have your H read a few articles about it so he can understand the methodology and reasoning better?

ETA: And I agree with whoever suggested Tylenol or Motrin, if you're not already doing that.  Can't hurt.

[scm1011]

Feb 26, 2018 12:16:41 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

The other thing is H just is not helpful with this. His patience is so low and he just gets frustrated so he rocks S to sleep all the way so that way he can get back to doing whatever it was he was doing (dinner, sleeping, etc). It is conflicting for S and also erases what I am trying to teach him. I explain it to H until I am red in the face, but shy of being in there with him while he does it, I am not sure what to do.

I am beyond frustrated.

I hear you on this. What it took for me was telling DH that I was done with wake-ups 100% and they were his job now. So he can get with the program or deal with the consequences. After a year of shitty sleep and being responsible for 99% of wake-ups, I had no effs left to give and was done done done. I was pretty much like "I did the first year, year 2 is all you! do with it what you like!" lol.

[loira]

shauni27, I'm sorry, that sounds so rough. Ditto others on checking to make sure it's not something keeping him awake before you sleep train again. But I also agree with janegold that it takes some babies a lot longer. I have friends whose babies were terrible (up every 1-2 hours) sleepers. One hired a sleep consultant who asked all sorts of questions about the baby's eating habits, parents' habits etc. and designed a training program tailored to their baby. And it still took him about 2 weeks to really self-soothe. I don't have any firsthand advice except to say that Ferber did not work for us - it just pissed A off, so we did CIO for bedtime and let her get up at night for a bottle, but it ultimately helped her go right back to sleep MOTN. I'm sorry your H isn't on the same page as you...

[loira]

We went to another birthday party this weekend and it was a lot more successful. Mainly because all the adults were there to talk to each other, and the kids were left to their own devices. A had a meltdown as soon as we walked in the door, but I just kept telling her she could sit with me the whole time if she wanted. She eventually calmed down, especially once we headed over to the snack table. I made up a plate and we had a picnic on the floor away from everyone else. Once she'd warmed up to the atmosphere, she ventured out to play with some toys. At one point there was even a whole room between us! Having said that, I have now come to the conclusion that I hate taking my kid to parties where I don't really know people. All the energy required to keep her happy, then more energy to make small talk... it's exhausting.

[shauni27]

Thanks, guys. I just reached out to a sleep consultant and have a session with her today. I look forward to hearing what she says. scm1011, I may need to do that as well, but I fear that he would just get up, rock him to sleep immediately and then repeat. We do not give him tylenol before sleep because that is another battle--he HATES taking medicine and spits it out and screams, etc. It is just a mess. But maybe I will try it tonight.

[thoseareradishes]

I thought E's beloved activity table died. She's puked on it a bunch of times and loves to flap the "book page" on top back and forth until the music starts skipping. Today it just stopped making noise and the lights went off. Thankfully, new batteries and a few hard bangs on the top and it came back to life. She loves it so much we got her another one for her birthday - the new one has a ball drop that looks pretty cool.

[shauni27]

@daylily, yes, I think that is part of it, too. He has been consistently sick for 6 weeks now, and it feels like 6 months

[thoseareradishes]

shauni27, glad you are seeing a sleep consultant. What's S's schedule? Do you think he is overtired? E struggles more at night when she doesn't nap enough during the day, or when I need to stretch her wake times too long (usually due to short naps).

[oneslybookworm]

shauni27, I’m hanging in there, thanks for asking.

Tomorrow is the funeral. J’s surgery recovery is going better than expected, but I am basically taking care of him, G, my mother...everyone in my life. I’m still sick and I’m trying to keep my head above water with work. It’s just so much and I’m so tired.

Otherwise, things are going well. G is almost 8 months (6.5 months adjusted) and it’s such a fun age! He’s gettin close to crawling, which I think will make him much happier. He’s very frustrated because he’s not mobile, and as much as I know he’ll be even more work once he’s crawling, I think he’ll be more content.

[shauni27]

I forgot to tell y'all the other thing that happened! We have a fisher price jungle jumparoo that S loves. He was bouncing in it yesterday and it just BROKE! The rope in it snapped in half and he toppled out onto his head. He is fine, but he was SO scared! I contacted Fisher Price to let them know this happened, but I am thinking since it is a hand me down (2 years old) that there is nothing they can do about it and will just tell me that it is old.

I loved that thing, but I am not going to spend $100 on another one when I got that one for free, you know? Especially since it broke on me already...incidentally the fisher price auto rock n play I first got started SMOKING. So they are not at the top of my list right now.

[starryfish]

shauni27,did you do Ferber or CIO? We did CIO with NO checks because the checks just made S more pissed. First night was around 45 mins, than 15 mins, then 5 mins.

[starryfish]

S was moved up to the Toddler room today. I was MORE emotional today than when she started daycare! Such a BIG jump from the baby room to toddler room. NO more cribs-they sleep on the blue daycare cots. Everyone else is walking but S. She will take a few steps (rarely) but not walking yet-I think being around other walkers will help her.

S got her tubes put in her ears on Friday, so I hope those help! We had been battling non-stop ear infections for 2 months!

[janegold]

Feb 26, 2018 15:03:38 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I forgot to tell y'all the other thing that happened! We have a fisher price jungle jumparoo that S loves. He was bouncing in it yesterday and it just BROKE! The rope in it snapped in half and he toppled out onto his head. He is fine, but he was SO scared! I contacted Fisher Price to let them know this happened, but I am thinking since it is a hand me down (2 years old) that there is nothing they can do about it and will just tell me that it is old.

I loved that thing, but I am not going to spend $100 on another one when I got that one for free, you know? Especially since it broke on me already...incidentally the fisher price auto rock n play I first got started SMOKING. So they are not at the top of my list right now.

OMG!  That's so scary!

Long shot, but any chance you will be in Boston in the next few weeks?  I have a Little Einstein one we are going to list on Craigslist but I would gladly give it to you if you happen to be in town.  I've noticed it's not as bouncy as the FP ones, though.

[janegold]

Feb 26, 2018 16:17:10 GMT -5 starryfish said:

S was moved up to the Toddler room today. I was MORE emotional today than when she started daycare! Such a BIG jump from the baby room to toddler room. NO more cribs-they sleep on the blue daycare cots. Everyone else is walking but S. She will take a few steps (rarely) but not walking yet-I think being around other walkers will help her.

That's a big move.  I'm surprised they would move her up before she's started walking! I think you're right though that she'll pick it up quickly there. Meanwhile, they are planning to keep B  in the infant room until probably June when space opens up in the toddler room (he'll be 18-19 months) and I'm kind of annoyed because I agree with you that I think it would benefit him to be around older kids.  They don't use utensils for eating in the infant room, I don't think they do a great job of focusing on language development (and I feel like B is behind in that area), they kept him inside the other day when it was 70 degrees out - in Feb! in Boston! - because two tiny babies were napping and one of the teachers had to stay inside so the teacher to kid ratio was off.  He's just outgrowing the infant room and its limited activities at 15 months.  And most of the other kids were able to move over at 12-13 months so it is just extra annoying.

[King26]

Hey all
I feel like I haven't been around in forever. Work is kicking my butt right now. J turned 6 months this weekend! Where has my baby gone?? He is rolling over both ways now and goes all over the place.

shauni27 is give CIO or Ferber at least a week. It took J 4 or 5 nights to respond. He was waking up 4 or 5 times a night now we have him down to 2 which i will take. It's hard to get your SO on board sometimes but for it to work you have to be on the same page. I had a nap routine all worked out but DH is home all day with J and has changes it. I started getting mad but then realized he puts him down for most naps and is putting him down drowsy but awake so I've gone with his nap routine then we do my bedtime routine. We still feed j at night too. We may have to do sleep training again soon because he really should be down to waking up once a night tops.

oneslybookworm. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs.

[scm1011]

janegold, that's really frustrating, and frankly I would not be cool with my 19 month old still in the infant room. Can he at least join the toddlers during some outdoor time or group activities? C did that for a month prior to his transition. I know there is the numbers issue, but at our DC we have floaters who can help out in those cases. Cal is in week 3 of the toddler room and I've already seen strides in what he can do (more dexterity with utensils, more vocal, able to sit and take part in an activity). I'm amazed.

starryfish, I was unexpectedly emotional about the move too, even though he was definitely ready. I was shocked how quickly he took to sleeping on the floor mat. He actually naps so much better in the Toddler room.

[shauni27]

Feb 26, 2018 16:10:37 GMT -5 starryfish said:

shauni27 ,did you do Ferber or CIO? We did CIO with NO checks because the checks just made S more pissed. First night was around 45 mins, than 15 mins, then 5 mins.

So last night I noticed that the checks did seem to make it worse, but I am really not sure I can go without checking. We start with the sleep specialist next week and we will see what she has to say. I am SO excited, lol.

janegold, that is so kind. I actually borrowed one from my in laws so we should be all set. Thank you for the offer, though.

[scm1011]

shauni27, checks made it worse for us, too. When we finally sleep trained to success DH went in after 10 minutes of crying to make sure C didn't have either a fever or poopy diaper, gave him 1-2 minutes of comfort, and then we let him CIO indefinitely. I hope the sleep specialist gets you on the right track!

Also....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3

[mpc]

My baby is moving up to the toddler room next week. She's only 10 months old! I guess they are getting too many babies and needed to move someone up. She's not the oldest but she is the only one doing any walking so they picked her. Technically this week she is "visiting" which in my experience means she's there all day but they don't officially count it as the move yet. I think think the hardest part will be getting only 1 nap a day. She was in bad shape by yesterday evening. She's not ready yet to drop that 2nd nap.

[starryfish]

Feb 27, 2018 8:33:33 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Feb 26, 2018 16:10:37 GMT -5 starryfish said:

shauni27 ,did you do Ferber or CIO? We did CIO with NO checks because the checks just made S more pissed. First night was around 45 mins, than 15 mins, then 5 mins.

So last night I noticed that the checks did seem to make it worse, but I am really not sure I can go without checking. We start with the sleep specialist next week and we will see what she has to say. I am SO excited, lol.

janegold , that is so kind. I actually borrowed one from my in laws so we should be all set. Thank you for the offer, though.

it is HARD but OMG SO WORTH IT!!! When we CIO we were dealing with her sleeping in her crib for the first time ever (she had to sleep elevated in RNP or Cradle Bouncer for 8 months due to pyloric stenosis) so she was NOT HAVING it. We just watched TV, and I just STARED at the monitor until she fell asleep. GOOD LUCK, I hope he sleeps good for you soon!

[starryfish]

Feb 27, 2018 9:00:43 GMT -5 mpc said:

My baby is moving up to the toddler room next week. She's only 10 months old! I guess they are getting too many babies and needed to move someone up. She's not the oldest but she is the only one doing any walking so they picked her. Technically this week she is "visiting" which in my experience means she's there all day but they don't officially count it as the move yet. I think think the hardest part will be getting only 1 nap a day. She was in bad shape by yesterday evening. She's not ready yet to drop that 2nd nap.

Ugh that is rough. There were two kids younger than S that were fully walking but they moved S up first. S still takes 2-3 naps a day for us on the weekends (3 naps are rare, 2 normal). She was TIRED last night, plus I think the toddler room is more stimulation than the baby room (and we have two baby rooms-younger and older). 

[janegold]

Feb 27, 2018 7:52:57 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

janegold , that's really frustrating, and frankly I would not be cool with my 19 month old still in the infant room. Can he at least join the toddlers during some outdoor time or group activities? C did that for a month prior to his transition. I know there is the numbers issue, but at our DC we have floaters who can help out in those cases. Cal is in week 3 of the toddler room and I've already seen strides in what he can do (more dexterity with utensils, more vocal, able to sit and take part in an activity). I'm amazed.

Yes, they said that the older infants will be doing more group activities with the toddlers, especially as the weather warms up, and so they thought it might make for an easier transition all around.  I know one of B's friends, who is a week older than him, tried to transition to the toddler room back in December and had a really hard time and ended up back in the infant room.  So maybe that's why they decided to take this approach with B too...but there are plenty of other kids who did transition at 12 and 13 months so I don't know.  On the one hand, he's with several other kids his age so it's not like he's surrounded by babies.  And he loves his teachers, and I'm trying not to be uptight.  On the other hand, I do think it would benefit him.  I should probably try to speak with one of the directors again and see what they say.  They've actually accepted a few new kids into the toddler room in the past few weeks that don't appear to be much older than B so I don't know if I'm buying that it is actually a space issue.  B could have had one of those spots.

[scm1011]

Gotcha, janegold. That's good that he'll be doing more group activities with the older kids, and that he has other older babies around him. In our case, C was the oldest by far in the infant room (before he switched at 15 months there was only one other baby who was even crawling). He was bored and I felt he was stagnating. I'd be less concerned if he was still around peers.