When I was pregnant and trying to decide what OB I'd be handed off too (both in the same practice - also where my Gyn is, but she no longer delivers), I debated between an older woman and one who is much closer to my age. I think I had decided to go with the younger one, assuming she'd be really up to date on medical treatment and technology, and that the older woman could be approaching retirement, or could decide to stop delivering in the next few years. But I felt like I would have been more comfortable having someone my mom's age examine my nether-regions than someone my own age. Of course, you'd think I'd be used to it with the number of vaginal ultrasounds I've gone through over the last 2 years and the fact that my RE and the other RE I see most frequently are men.
My (male) cousin is a nurse and had a similar issue. When I had AJ, the OB resident had a male med student with her and asked if it was okay if he was in the room as much as possible. That poor guy let out an audible sigh of relief when I was all "Sure! As long as he doesn't get to cut or stitch anything, we're cool." (that was a med student thing in general, not due to his gender) Apparently a few OB patients had refused to have a male student in the room.
When H was in medical school, he would have entire days when not a single OB patient would let him in the room and he’d just go home early (he did not mind though.)
That said, I’ve also been around 20-something male medical students acting like, well, 20-something guys. I think most realized they were supposed to keep certain thoughts to themselves but every so often you’d get a dirtbag bragging about doing a pelvic exam on a “hot” 16 year old. #Notallmalemedstudents and all that, but as a patient, you just don’t know who is walking in that exam room.
WTF to those male medical students. What jerks!
I had a great experience with my male med student but they are definitely not all that way. Thanks to the cherry popsicle supplying, this one was one of my favorite people while I was in labor (only ones higher on the list were the anesthesiologist and the OB that suggested the vacuum to ultimately get my kid out). I saw him patting my leg in between pushes because he clearly didn't know WTF else to do and told him something like "awww. I can't feel what you're doing right now but I see it, thanks for trying to do something comforting!" I think it was his first rotation ever and he was clearly a little terrified.
I have seen many different Obs while ttc, going through 5 losses and the birth of my daughter. During all of this I found that the male doctors actually were more caring and helpful. They were always trying to help me figure out how to move forward and why I was having the problems that I was. The females OBs I dealt with all told me that it was just an early loss and that I could just try again. But never gave me any help or guidance on how to move forward.
Because of that I much preferred my male OBs, but if any of the woman had been more caring I would have had another opinion. I did cry my eyes out when one of the male OBs I saw during my losses retired, I was heart broken.
I did allow the male resident to be part of my delivery. His bed side manor was amazing. (It was Christmas Eve and he didn’t seem to care at all.)
I think that if a woman wants a female doctor, be it an OB, a PCP or another specialist she should have that choice.
WOT?* July 1st is when all the new (green, inexperienced) residents start and old residents move on to fellowship.
Thank goodness mine was delivered in a military hospital then! They rotate out when they rotate out at the behest of DC and new orders whenever.
They did, however, neglect to tell my (ex) husband - who was on a boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean - that she had been born. The only reason he got notice (despite my numerous mentions and the fact that my mom, dad and best friend were in the room with me and my husband was nowhere to be seen) was because another woman who gave birth and someone came looking for HER so they could notify her husband of their baby's arrival. My XH would have gotten the notice apparently when I sent a letter with photos to him which he may or may not have gotten after a few weeks, rather than the same day over the radio or sat-phone or whatever they used back then, like all the other new daddies.
Wtf to residents making inappropriate comments about underage girls!!!
Please tell me whoever was present when they were made reported those individuals goldengirlz ? Because I'm side eyeing everyone involved- the Disgusting people who said them and the people who did not act if they heard them being said.
Hohl shit.
The scenario was a handful of guys in a bar so in their “safe space” (so to speak). And yes, the other med students would be like, ugh, you’re disgusting, or you’re taking it too far, but I don’t think anyone was reporting anyone else.
I remember being uncomfortable about it but it also felt exactly like what guys who are only two or three years removed from their frat party days would be like.
Talking about a 16 year old patient in a sexual way is not appropriate. I don't care what space they are in. A bar sure as shit is not a safe space. They are lucky a stranger didn't over hear them and report them for HIPAA or worse.
I know a lot of ex frat guy physicians. I've never heard of any of them talking about minors in that way.
I do wonder, just from these anecdotes from everyone here, if this “situation” has whittled down the field to men who go into OBGYN into the ones who really care about women’s health and are really good at it?
Interesting that it now appears so few men are actually interested in it, though. :/ I guess the argument for gender parity in this specialty is that having men, in general, interested in women's reproductive health (in a good way, not the way Mike Pence is interested) is better for society.
Especially since men are, unfortunately, still the ones who wield power. Like I said, I'm not crying over the men who have to work hard, but there is value in having men who understand what it is like for women who have abortions, who need birth control, and just general women's health issues. Women need to be listened to as well, but I'll never say no to an ally with a real understanding of these issues.
raise your hand if you've casually planned your attempts to conceive to avoid delivering in July
The boys were supposed to be born in June
I dont remember exactly what happened, I think it was just a need for stitches or something, but it was July 1 and a friend was like "oh I'll just go to the ER" and H and I were both like "NOOOOO!" Go to urgent care! Or my sewing room, lol. Or anywhere else.
The only OBGYN I've ever had who knew about pregnancy AND anti-seizure meds is a male. He is AMAZING and I will continue to see him as long as he's still working in my area and I'm still living in this area. Everyone else male and female were and continue to be unhelpful in that regard. (I'm lumping my neuros in with them... if you're a neuro of women during their childbearing years you should know something!)
All my ObGyn have been male when I was pregnant. One was rumored to have a vet degree (as in livestock) rather than a medical (people) one. Military doesn't give you the option of who delivers. I do know that we did the "see them all" approach with my first two, and #1 ended up getting delivered by the ER physician because the Ob went home to eat dinner thinking I'd be delivering hours later than I did.
That being said, my PCP and Ob are both females who are a bit younger than I am (shoot, most doctors are younger than I am nowadays so that's not too much of a stretch). The girls are at the age where they should start seeing an OB and I'm debating about using mine or finding another or sticking with convictions and starting with Planned Parenthood as an introduction.
fryjack2 - Do we have July 2 stories? My red haired/blue-eyed #1 child was a July 2 baby.
Come on, you know where you need to bring the girls. I can recommend a couple that are accepting new peds patients.
I do wonder, just from these anecdotes from everyone here, if this “situation” has whittled down the field to men who go into OBGYN into the ones who really care about women’s health and are really good at it?
This is interesting.
Nothing in this article indicated that these men are being discriminated against by residency or fellowship programs. Patients are simply expressing a preference. But it strikes me that men who really genuinely want to pursue OBGYN can do so and still have rewarding careers - I've still never heard of an OBGYN who went bankrupt because he had no job due to being male.
Nobody is telling these men they can't go into OBGYN, so I guess they'll just have to work a little harder to get all their clinical hours? Gee, I wonder who else has been told they'll have to work a little harder since...oh, FOR-FUCKING-EVER?
I agree with this 100%. No one is saying that they CAN'T. They are just upset because now others CAN TOO. In one specialty. That's it.
You know, what this boils down to imo is that men are upset that women are utilizing their right to choose the health care situation that meets their needs. Whether that is a male or female isn't the point. It's that the male physicians aren't in charge. I choose my HCP based on how they work for me and my family. A good working relationship is vital for optimal health care.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
This doesn't surprise me at all. I've seen both male and female OBGYNs, and it was a toss up. There were some male docs when we were going through IVF who were not gentle, and there were some female docs when I did end up getting pregnant who brushed off my anxiety given our IF history. The male resident at the hospital was awesome, but the male OBGYN who did my c/s was a jerk. Both my parents work(ed) in the medical field, so I try to remember it was "just that doctor," but I can understand why so many women choose to only see female docs. My body, my choice, so I'd never try to convince them otherwise.
I just can't have much sympathy for men feeling all "Well, NOT ME!!!!!" Do better. Be better. Do the work.
I dont remember exactly what happened, I think it was just a need for stitches or something, but it was July 1 and a friend was like "oh I'll just go to the ER" and H and I were both like "NOOOOO!" Go to urgent care! Or my sewing room, lol. Or anywhere else.
My mom had her lung transplant on July 18. The poor new baby doctor assigned to her had no damned clue. Nice guy (in my mom's medicated state she tried to hook him up with one of her nurses), but my sister fired so many questions at him he spent his entire day off researching the answers :-)
This might be the one and only time that I have the advantage of being Asian. I have a plethora of doctors and dentists to choose from.
I have only lived in DC and Atlanta. I have never had an issue finding people who meet my criteria.
You are very lucky! Even in Philly, the number of Black specialists seems to be limited, at least that I know, even with all the med schools & huge hospitals here. Philly's Black middle & upper middle class is unfortunately somewhat small. I can't imagine easily finding a plethora of Black specialists to choose from in many parts of the country unfortunately.
I dont remember exactly what happened, I think it was just a need for stitches or something, but it was July 1 and a friend was like "oh I'll just go to the ER" and H and I were both like "NOOOOO!" Go to urgent care! Or my sewing room, lol. Or anywhere else.
My mom had her lung transplant on July 18. The poor new baby doctor assigned to her had no damned clue. Nice guy (in my mom's medicated state she tried to hook him up with one of her nurses), but my sister fired so many questions at him he spent his entire day off researching the answers :-)
And she helped him learn so much! I hope your mom is doing well!
I worry that OB/gyn will be seen as ‘woman’s work’ and the specialists will get less pay and less respect should men bail.
I’ve only been to an actual OB/GYN once. It was a woman and she was so rude. “I don’t know why your doctor sent you here, he should know that the appearance of your cervix is normal” and unprompted said the 32 was getting old and I’d better have kids soon.
I see my PCP for annuals. He does a good job, but I hate the ceremony with a male. As someone with no sexual trauma. Bringing in the female PA to supervise, explaining each step, the this might be cold, the this might pinch a little. It’s almost over. Plus the use of a disposable speculum, throwing out all that plastic for a two minute procedure when sterilized metal would be just fine.
I much prefered the sexual health clinic with the revolving door of NPs. In,out, done. No conversation. Toss the metal speculum in a bucket of used instruments to be cleaned. But my PCP looked so sad when I told him I planned to go to the woman’s clinic at the local, affiliated hospital I gave him a chance.
I don't think I understand your statement, "I hate the ceremony with the male."
I was always taught to have a chaperone for exams in sensitive areas regardless of the sex of the patient and physician. There should always be 2 people in the room if you're looking at the vagina, penis, anus or breasts.
And as far as explaining things as I go, most patients seem to appreciate the care and concern, especially if a part of the exam might feel uncomfortable. If you don't want your doctor to talk to you then I would definitely ask him to not. Taking patient requests is common, I'm sure he wouldn't mind!
It is very hard for male students to even get the basic training when they are on OBGYN rotations. Patients often refuse them even coming into the room.
I mean part of this is our culture. If we didn’t have to fear men violating us so much we might be more open to allowing male doctors into our more intimate procedures.
I have had both male and female OBs. Both were great. But I am not surprised by this article.
when I was in labor, there was this male nursing student who’d been milling around most of the day because no one would let him in the room. I don’t blame any woman for having a preference, but he really was very attentive and gentle. Probably because I was his only patient. Lol. He also looked to be about 13 years old so I’m sure that didn’t help his case much.
When I was in labor with N, they asked if this super hot male doctor-to-be could watch the delivery. I was like, “the more the merrier!” He also had seemed to be wandering around with nothing to do, so they appeared very excited I agreed.
I’ve had male and female OB/GYNs and been fine with either, but I’ve loved the two female doctors I’ve gone to since 2009 and personally feel more comfortable with them than any of the male doctors I’ve seen. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re women or awesome, funny, gentle, attentive doctors that’s been the difference. Maybe both?
I discriminate like a MOFO when I pick my Doctors. They better be Black and have studied at an HBCU. None of this bothers me.
The African American male OB resident who rounded on me in the mornings post C-section walked in the first day with his "Meharry" lanyard. I made small talk with him about living in Nashville. I had to LOL because your description of him was so precise.
The only OBGYN I've ever had who knew about pregnancy AND anti-seizure meds is a male. He is AMAZING and I will continue to see him as long as he's still working in my area and I'm still living in this area. Everyone else male and female were and continue to be unhelpful in that regard. (I'm lumping my neuros in with them... if you're a neuro of women during their childbearing years you should know something!)
OMG my bet friend is epileptic. I’ll never forget the night she came home (she was 26) from a neuro appointment sobbing crying since she had just been told by an alternate doctor (maybe her usual doctor was on vacation?) that she was on a high dose of a drug that is not recommended for women over the age of 16 due to the high risk of birth defects and that it would take a minimum of 5 years for it to clear her system. She was furious. Some doctors are not good.
I worry that OB/gyn will be seen as ‘woman’s work’ and the specialists will get less pay and less respect should men bail.
I’ve only been to an actual OB/GYN once. It was a woman and she was so rude. “I don’t know why your doctor sent you here, he should know that the appearance of your cervix is normal” and unprompted said the 32 was getting old and I’d better have kids soon.
I see my PCP for annuals. He does a good job, but I hate the ceremony with a male. As someone with no sexual trauma. Bringing in the female PA to supervise, explaining each step, the this might be cold, the this might pinch a little. It’s almost over. Plus the use of a disposable speculum, throwing out all that plastic for a two minute procedure when sterilized metal would be just fine.
I much prefered the sexual health clinic with the revolving door of NPs. In,out, done. No conversation. Toss the metal speculum in a bucket of used instruments to be cleaned. But my PCP looked so sad when I told him I planned to go to the woman’s clinic at the local, affiliated hospital I gave him a chance.
I don't think I understand your statement, "I hate the ceremony with the male."
I was always taught to have a chaperone for exams in sensitive areas regardless of the sex of the patient and physician. There should always be 2 people in the room if you're looking at the vagina, penis, anus or breasts.
And as far as explaining things as I go, most patients seem to appreciate the care and concern, especially if a part of the exam might feel uncomfortable. If you don't want your doctor to talk to you then I would definitely ask him to not. Taking patient requests is common, I'm sure he wouldn't mind!
A chaperone is standard practice during these types of exams at the HMO I use. I just assumed it was mandated by the state.
And if it is truly a bad thing that men are only 40% of OBGYNs and not supermajority like their god given right to be in all major professions, then the males in the profession need to auto reflect on why this has happened and what can be done to correct the wrongs that have occurred to women over the centuries at their hands.
This.
Being one of the olds, I can remember when we were told that cramps were "all in our heads" and you got zero treatment. And sexual dysfunction? "Take a hot bath and have a glass of wine." A little while ago it was posted here that it took women an average of ~9 years to get a diagnosis of endometreosis, largely because we're seen as weak complainers when it comes to pain.
So no, not every woman will be a fantastic OB/GYN, but so many male of the profession blew off our concerns/complaints for decades that now it's time to give those who might have a better understanding a chance.
Not all back in the day unfortunately - I have a good friend who was having sexual dysfunction within the last 5 years and had several doctors (male and female) tell her to drink some wine and relax.
I have endometriosis, and it took about 10 years to finally get diagnosed. BUT I'm the opposite - I had several female doctors and PAs who dismissed my cramps and complaints, told me to take midol/ibuprofen, told me that cramps are just a part of periods and you just need to push through. It gave me seriously emotional baggage that stopped me pursuing the care I really needed for a long time. It was finally a male doctor who really listened to me and helped me figure out what was going on, and who ended up doing surgery on me.
So I'm the opposite side of the coin, I feel like women OB-GYNs have had the "I've gone through this too, it's not that bad so you should get over it" attitude. I don't actually think this has to do with gender necessarily, I think I just had really crummy luck.
I finally started speaking up my current gyno's office at the last appointment becuase they ask stupid shit like "is your cycle normal".
So I finally asked them to define 'normal'. We all know that sex ed is a shit situation in this country. Why do they assume patients _know_ what normal is. It is fully possible someone is dealing with something that is a symptom of whatever, but its been around so long they don't realize they are not normal.
I am still not 'normal', but i am leaps and bounds better than i was when i was first referred to a gyno from my PCP.
This article is ass- backwards. Instead of worrying that men are being pushed out of some medical fields, we should be looking at why some medical fields are still dominated by men. If you are female and in the medical field you are mostly likely going into pediatrics or OB/GYN. When 2/3 of the fields are dominated by men, let’s look at how we can even that out and spread it out, instead of worrying about protecting the majority’s stake.
I think this is a really important point.
When I worked in medicine and traveled to various medical conferences it was amazing to see the difference in attendance between a family med conference versus a surgical conference. And then when I would go to nursing conferences it was shocking. There is still very much a societal push for women to be in more nurturing medical roles versus the other fields dominated by men.