Post by oldbaylover1024 on May 3, 2018 11:38:14 GMT -5
Thinking about you today, HeartofCheese. The timeline email you sent is documentation and that's a step in the right direction. I hope the meeting goes smoothly and they take your concerns and comments seriously.
And I can't imagine how difficult the rest of your post must be {{hugs}}
Post by erinshelley21 on May 3, 2018 11:41:16 GMT -5
oldbaylover1024 that was some good stuff. Thank you for the incredible update. HeartofCheese I'm sorry for the outcome with your custody situation. I'm sure you know this, but keep track of Every. Single. Interaction. With your ex regarding the kids and anything they say about their time with them. One of our friends fought for custody of his daughter and there weren't any major red flags, but I really think because of the amount of effort he put into recording everything, the judge was able to see all of the little things that added up to show that he was the better parent.
Post by erinshelley21 on May 3, 2018 11:51:32 GMT -5
Nothing major to update. - Still trucking along in limbo and working with my brother through the busy season. We keep getting into little tiffs regarding the closing of our office. He can't understand why I'm not in the biggest hurry f ing possible to get every single thing out. We don't even have any offers. Hell the sign for the new broker isn't even in the yard. I also need to find space in my house to store some things. There is ZERO space in my house for things. I'm also not liking the lack of routine in my life. - the vote for our schools happens next Tuesday. I have a good feeling about it and I hope I'm right. I don't want to move but I also don't want to make my kids go to school that is less than average. We also can't afford daycare and MIL is a good co-parent when DH is working. Life is easy and affordable here. - because of my good feeling, I applied for the job in town at the other company that I was hoping to end up at. I haven't heard from the first company with the 2 openings that I applied for 2 weeks ago so thats kind of a bummer. My chances with this other company are a lot better though. My parents graduated with half the executives and my mom works very closely with the HR director for her job. It's one of those times that I hope knowing the right people pays off. I'm usually not a fan of that.
k3am, Our before/after care is nothing special. It's definitely not anywhere near day care level, but it's something I've had to just learn to let go. The cost is SO much cheaper, and it's so much more convenient that I figure it'll be fine. The kids are usually just hanging out in the cafeteria/gym. Some are running around, some are coloring, most are just being packs of roaving children playing some random game they made up. No structure, no real plan. It can be very chaotic when all the kids are there.
k3am, our school has on-site after care which we use and it does seem very chaotic to me but DD1 loves it. She never wants to leave when we pick up. It's not very structured - they play outside, in the gym, sometimes watch a movie, color and crafts. They're also supposed to work on homework but she's in K so doesn't really apply. I see us using it through 5th grade. She has younger siblings who will need to be in aftercare so it doesn't make sense for her to not be with them. Honestly I think she likes it so much because she gets to play and talk with her friends after a very long day of sitting in a classroom.
Right now, we pay $235 a month for aftercare at her preschool. (6:30-8:30, 2:30-6:00). Granted, the tuition for the actual school day is significantly more. The kinder before and aftercare, for the same hours, is $800ish. If I kept her where she is for private kinder + aftercare, I'd only be paying $500 more than what we'll be paying just for aftercare.
I'm glad we moved, but I made really bad assumptions on cost savings of public schools and am kicking myself for it now.
k3am , I feel like the lack of response is normal because staff isn't there all day at before/ after care. Our pre-school and K are there all day, but the aftercare people don't get there until 2:30pm.
Ours is held at the cafeteria, so it looks nice but school esque looking. They go outside to recess and to the gym is pretty much their 3 spaces. They have lots of kids, but many get picked up before 5, so not as many by the time we get there, but they have at least 3 teachers there when I pick up for maybe 20-25 kids.
We also did the daycare aftercare which is a lot more expensive. It was OK. There were some issues with the teacher. She is gone now. She was nice, but not really into the swing of things. Like I would walk in and a problem child was swirling around on the table. Well if this child is a problem then you have to keep them busy and someone needs to be watching him. Eventually they had the parents pick him up earlier.
Often times I think the child does well in K because they are not tired and it is well structured. But get to aftercare, and have some behavioral issues. This has certainly been an issue at both of the aftercares for both my child and other children.
I still have my moments of really really wanting to ask my boss if I could leave at 3 every day or at least 2 days a week to limit aftercare and just have it be me. I have zero desire to hire a babysitter because I have had lots of hiring woes at work, and just don't want to.
Probably the most realistic thing will be that I will leave work early 2 days and week, and 1 day a week DH works from home and they do 2 days of aftercare. But with DS's multiple therapy appointments that I had to leave work early for anyway, I couldn't make it work this year. And next year, he is looking at vision therapy, so we aren't there yet either.
I think he could look after himself when he starts middle school which is 6th grade, so maybe 11 or 12. I would still send DD to aftercare for a few more years. I never got into any trouble at home by myself but we lived in the middle of no where. Now where we live he could walk or bike somewhere and get in trouble, so I may re-evaluate that age... But he would be going to school earlier, so I could adjust my schedule back to 8-4 maybe, and be home about 40 minutes after the bus.... But her school schedule would be later until middle school, so maybe I move my schedule back when his is in 8th and she is in 6th.
k3am, would you ever consider a nanny? We had one when DD1 was in K through end of 1st. DD2 was in preschool 3 mornings a week when DD1 was in 1st. It worked well for us - she would drop the kids off, do some cleaning/organizing or laundry, pick up DD2, maybe hit the playground before lunch. DD2 would get a little break and then they'd go to pick up DD1 together. Then she could take the kids to after school activities - gymnastics, music, art - or go to the playground if it was nice. We paid her for FT, and then she was available on 1/2 days, holidays, summers, even minor sickness days.
She was quirky, but we totally hit the lottery. She almost never called in sick. She was super reliable, and did a lot of research about activities and outings for the kids.
I know many people really like the accountability of a center or a school, but having a nanny made our lives so much easier for years. The kids were very happy with her, and always tired at the end of the day. The biggest downside was feeling disconnected from the happenings at school. Since I wasn't always dropping off or picking up, I'd miss out on some things.
Post by covergirl82 on May 3, 2018 13:12:19 GMT -5
My update is I still have not heard anything from the company that I submitted an application to almost a month ago now. I'm wondering if they haven't hit the threshold of applicants needed (it's not like there's a ton of compensation analysts running around), or if I just didn't make it to the next round. Although the delay in hearing something is better right now, because I'm going to a conference in a few weeks, and that helps me avoid an awkward situation of potentially getting an offer for another job right around the time I go to a conference paid for by my current employer.
Wow, what an update, oldbaylover1024! I’m a not super frequent poster but my daughter is also in K this year. I’m also from Maryland originally - I’m guessing that’s why you like old bay
Our week started off with a bang because DD did in fact have lice. I treated her Monday night and also checked DS1, and while that was going on upstairs, DH was downstairs with DS2, who stepped in dog poop in the backyard and tracked it around the house. Super fun night! We then had a professional lice removal person come at 7 am Tuesday and check all of us and do a super thorough comb through of DD’s hair. Plus lots of laundry and vacuuming. We somehow managed to dodge the lice outbreaks in preschool. I knew we’d end up dealing with it eventually but it’s still so gross!
k3am, I was also initially surprised by the state of the school aftercare earlier in the year, after years of preschool. But it has grown on me. And I decided I really like the fact that it’s just a bit of a free-for-all, with all the other structure kids now have in their lives and school days. DD just plays outside (they do organize some games), does art, and watches a movie on Friday afternoons when school ends at 12:45 pm.
Also, with her being the older kid, I think it’s good for her to be around older kids. I was always so behind pop culture and everything as the older kid in my family.
There are a bunch of enrichment activities at our school that you can sign up and pay for and they drop off afterward at aftercare. So DD does art, soccer, karate, STEM, etc during different sessions. Another nice thing about the aftercare is that during conference weeks when school closes early, they open early so there’s no disruption to my work schedule.
In short - I was skeptical at first too, but DD loves it.
Also, what age do people keep their kids in aftercare until??? I know that by 3rd grade, I was home alone until my mom got home from work, but I also know a lot of what I did as a kid doesn't fly today.
My ten year old still goes. He is growing out of it but he is not ready to be alone and his sister (6) would lose her mind if he got to go somewhere she didn’t.
k3am, DS goes to one in a church basement. There is one at the school, but this one is 3 blocks from the house, and the school will bus him there. It's a church basement, but there are a ton of toys and games, and he seems happy.
HeartofCheese, Nothing to say other than I am crossing my fingers for the best for you.
Kids are stupid expensive. We all could be well rested and living the high life if we didn't have kids.
Word. I totally get now why people only have one kid too. Less money, less activities, less fighting, easier to get out of the house, but still get to experience parenthood.
I mean I wouldn't trade DD for anything, and love they have siblings, and they love each other so much. And it was nice to experience having a normal pregnancy and a child without special needs since DS has been a challenge health wise since conception basically.
But when I think of everything I have to do and maintaining two rooms for them (cleaning), all the laundry, 2 home works, 2 sets of kid activities times their multiple activities, 2 in daycare adding up to at the highest about 26K a year. Its a lot, and I can only imagine 3 and 4 kids and being like wow- I don't know how you ladies do it.
OH I do have one. My brother agreed to sell my dad's place. This will be a huge relief if we get a halfway decent price. The market is super hot right now. We can take that money and put it on the house which would cover our garage addition and then some, so we could get our house paid off in about 4 years. My lack of economic security as a kid makes this a big source of comfort.
HeartofCheese, I'm so sorry. I hope it turns around for you.
k3am, I hear you. I thought we were going to get a break after daycare. DD1's summer camp is more per week than daycare. It's outrageous what we will be paying per week in child care but there aren't many options. All of the SAHM's and teachers that I know don't want more kids to watch in the summer.
Kids are stupid expensive. We all could be well rested and living the high life if we didn't have kids.
For real. H asked me once how much we would have put away if we hadn’t had kids and I was like “down that path lays madness.”
On the aftercare note, DD’s aftercare is basically on a playground. They run around, they play in the dirt, if it rains the bigs go to the gym and the littles (K and PK) go to the music room and they color, do board games, etc. it’s a little chaotic but overall sh elikes it and benefits from the outdoor time.
Kids are stupid expensive. We all could be well rested and living the high life if we didn't have kids.
For real. H asked me once how much we would have put away if we hadn’t had kids and I was like “down that path lays madness.”
On the aftercare note, DD’s aftercare is basically on a playground. They run around, they play in the dirt, if it rains the bigs go to the gym and the littles (K and PK) go to the music room and they color, do board games, etc. it’s a little chaotic but overall sh elikes it and benefits from the outdoor time.
That said, it’s cheap. Like $60 a month cheap.
That’s pretty much my idea of the perfect after school program.
For real. H asked me once how much we would have put away if we hadn’t had kids and I was like “down that path lays madness.”
On the aftercare note, DD’s aftercare is basically on a playground. They run around, they play in the dirt, if it rains the bigs go to the gym and the littles (K and PK) go to the music room and they color, do board games, etc. it’s a little chaotic but overall sh elikes it and benefits from the outdoor time.
That said, it’s cheap. Like $60 a month cheap.
That’s pretty much my idea of the perfect after school program.
We’ve been happy. I went to school in the same district and it hasn’t really changed.
Post by mustardseed2007 on May 3, 2018 16:46:03 GMT -5
DS' new school has onsite after care (in their current school it's more integrated with the regular staff) and it's an hourly rate of $12 per hour, which, if we used it from 3:30 to 5:30 each day comes to 480 per month on top of his private school tuition.
However, you don't get charged for time your kid spends in enrichment activities like soccer shots or robotics and the like so we'll see how much it ends up working out to...
I'm guessing that if DD eventually goes to this school it might be cheaper to have an afternoon nanny...although maybe it depends on how much stuff you sign them up for.
Our is $80 for full time aftercare from 3-6pm M-F. So for 2 kids it would be $160 a week. Monthly (every 4 weeks) $640, I guess. So if I can get it down to half time it would be just over half of that, so maybe $340 a month.
Post by librarychica on May 3, 2018 16:52:10 GMT -5
I have a TWERK. Or rather, a new topic introduction. H and I are making a long-term plan to achieve our dream of living at the beach. For a decade he has tried to talk me into buying a beach condo and for years I have cried “too much risk” and declined. But we look to make a decent amount selling one rental house and eventually some land so we have been sitting with our spreadsheet, crunching numbers and arguing over beaches.
It may take us decades if ever to make it to the coast full time — especially since the better schools are inland — but I am excited anyway.
I’m telling y’all because if I tell my parents they’ll say I’ve lost my mind and if I tell my coworkers they’ll think I plan on quitting next week...etc
Post by traveltheworld on May 3, 2018 17:30:20 GMT -5
I'm still in France on vacation. It's been great so far. Aside from the super cold first day, the weather has been fine. I have not had to work so far, which has never happened in the dozen years I've been in law, so I'm thrilled about that.
And of course, since I have to worry about something - I'm now paranoid about this little tic/habit that DS has developed. The best I can explain it is that he is moving his right hand all the time like he is writing in the air. When I ask him, he says he is practising writing - which would be fine, but lots of times the motion is not big enough to actually look like he is writing - more like his hand is just twitching. He insists he is doing it consciously, but he is doing it all the time, so I don't think it can be conscious all the time?! He put together a big lego set just the other night and there was no tremors while he did that, but anytime his hand is not actively engaged with something he does this weird air writing/twitching thing. Anyone's kid ever did this?