@randoms 5/14

[luv2rn4fun]

L took over an hour to fall asleep last night. Lots of screaming. I went in a couple times and held him the last time where he passed out on me. Transferred him to the his crib and he woke up screaming. He has been up a lot since 3:20. I finally made coffee at 5:20 since DH is getting up any minute.

We are going to Disneyland with my step mom first thing this morning. I know we will have an awesome time, just hoping L isn’t too cranky and that they both nap well this afternoon. I am already exhausted (and my step mom won’t really be helpful at Disneyland...she had hip surgery in Nov and physically can barely do what she needs to for herself...she will be hurting by the time today is over).

[luv2rn4fun]

In positive news...I get like a rockstar yesterday. I decided to wash my car with the boys! We love on a street that is not exactly kid friendly so I haven’t tried it before. I brought the water table out front and set it up where I could see them. Quickly washed my car and they were so happy to be playing with water!

[bk1]

How the trip goes well!

Yesterday the girls were so exhausted from our busy day on Sunday that they were a mess. Today had started much better thankfully.

MIL said she would watch them for a bit tomorrow. Now I need to decide what to do with my free time!

[luv2rn4fun]

Thank you bk1! We had a similar day yesterday...both boys were super overtired and a mess (can’t blame them, I am still tired and trying to recover from a crazy busy day Sat and Sun...we took on way too much). Hope today is much better for you and am glad your MIL is giving you a break tomorrow!! Enjoy, you have had a ton on your plate lately.

[estrellita]

I just have to brag that I got almost 10oz for my morning pump yesterday, lol. That was a LOT for me! Overall for the day I got about the same as usual, maybe a little more, but I need to figure out exactly what was the key. I started a supplement again, started fennel oil again, and had a beer the night before (appropriately called Moo Juus I think is the spelling, it's an oatmeal stout). So one or all of those things must have helped!

I think A really wants to start food. She just stares when people eat in front of her and tries to grab it. I'm waiting until 6mo but what are the other signs of readiness? I know sitting up but assisted or unassisted? I think it'll be a while before she sits up unassisted! I think I'll start with avocado or something in one of those mesh feeders. Any BLW tips? I think I might do a mix of that and purees. It'll depend on how she does!

[MrsMB]

Both babies slept 10 hours last night!!!

L did much better at her 2nd dentist appointment I only had to hold her down the first 5 minutes

[HoneySpider]

DH is WFH today and I left this morning to go to the dentist then into the office, so our normal routines are a bit reversed. I was getting ready to leave and I see DH on the sofa, cuddling with DS, cat laying on top of him, coffee in hand, watching Sesame Street. It was so cute and it made me a little sad to have to leave. Now I know how he feels! (Even though our typical morning doesn't usually play out like that) I even told him it looked like the stereotypical scene of what most people probably think a SAHM does lol

[MrsMB]

May 15, 2018 11:25:42 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

DH is WFH today and I left this morning to go to the dentist then into the office, so our normal routines are a bit reversed. I was getting ready to leave and I see DH on the sofa, cuddling with DS, cat laying on top of him, coffee in hand, watching Sesame Street. It was so cute and it made me a little sad to have to leave. Now I know how he feels! (Even though our typical morning doesn't usually play out like that) I even told him it looked like the stereotypical scene of what most people probably think a SAHM does lol

This sounds magical  

[bk1]

estrellita That is awesome! Even months into BFing I was able to up my supply when needed by eating ice cream every night, eating oatmeal in the morning, and adding in lots of extra water. I would do that after I had been sick or when C was going through a growth spurt and I was struggling to keep up. Seems like I produced just enough to keep her satisfied and no more.  I was just happy to get that much! I was never able to pump more then 4-5 oz combined in one sitting. 

[estrellita]

May 15, 2018 12:57:00 GMT -5 bk1 said:

estrellita That is awesome! Even months into BFing I was able to up my supply when needed by eating ice cream every night, eating oatmeal in the morning, and adding in lots of extra water. I would do that after I had been sick or when C was going through a growth spurt and I was struggling to keep up. Seems like I produced just enough to keep her satisfied and no more.  I was just happy to get that much! I was never able to pump more then 4-5 oz combined in one sitting. 

Yeah my pumps tend to vary.. morning is usually 6-8 or so but the rest can be anywhere from 3-6 or so. I was outpacing her because she was eating so little.. there have been a lot of days she only ate 18.5 ounces and it was worrying me so we've bumped her bottles up to 5oz instead of 4.5. Now if she only has 4 bottles, at least that's 20oz and I feel better about that! I really wish I could bump up my supply to like 30 oz per day so I could freeze at least 1 bottle per day but really as long as I keep up with her I'm happy! I do have a small freezer stash but the more I freeze, the earlier I can stop pumping, lol. The way things are going though, I only have maybe 3-4 days worth and she's 5.5 months so.. not looking like I can stop that early, lol.

[Blue Moon]

Well our week just took a bad turn around. Yesterday, on his birthday, G spiked a 103.5 temp. He most likely has hand foot and mouth. We just cancelled his party because i have two pregnant sisters in law and a young nephew so we can’t take any chances of exposing them. H and I got into an argument because he claims he absolutely cannot take off any days this week and G will most likely be out of daycare all week. I had to call out last minute today which means my class had no sub and I’m going to get in trouble. Sick kids are so stressful.

[estrellita]

Oh no, I'm sorry Blue Moon sick kids are so stressful, especially if you don't have a flexible job! I hope he feels better soon!

[luv2rn4fun]

I am so so sorry Blue Moon. I can’t even imagine how stressful this is for you and your DH. Huge ((Hugs)). Also, I am team you...you shouldn’t have to shoulder all three days of being home wirh G. Your DH needs to help as well. I am sure you can’t really afford to miss as well but it’s not like you guys have many options. Any chance one of your parents can help?

I hope G feels better soon. Sorry he is so sick and his bday and party were ruined 🙁

[Blue Moon]

Thanks guys. We’ve got tomorrow covered. My MIL can “work from home tomorrow” in the morning to stay with G and H agreed to leave early to relieve her so she can attend an afternoon work event. I’m happy about that at least but know that likely it’ll have to be me again on Friday. I’m actually not too upset about the party. The weather forecast was awful, our pool pump is still broken, and the vanity we ordered to finally finish the bathroom arrived cracked in half. Another week to rectify all of the above is the best idea. I’m more annoyed the 3 dozen cupcakes i stayed up late to make are going to waste. Although I’ve stress eaten quite a few!

[HoneySpider]

I'm sorry Blue Moon.

It's probably bad that my first thought about the cupcakes was "they wouldn't go to waste in my house"

[luv2rn4fun]

May 16, 2018 19:47:21 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

I'm sorry Blue Moon.

It's probably bad that my first thought about the cupcakes was "they wouldn't go to waste in my house"

They wouldn’t go bad here either! 😀

Sorry Blue Moon. Sounds like a decent update give the circumstances. I hope G is better soon.

[awick14]

Urg ((Blue Moon)

[MrsMB]

Man, I'm so sorry....so stressful! ((Blue Moon))

[luv2rn4fun]

Blue Moon- how was last night? How is G this morning? Thinking of you guys.

L has been up a lot at night this week (after sleeping pretty well this weekend). Not sure why. His nose was really congested yesterday morning and a little runny throughout the day but otherwise he was his normal self. I feel like a zombie between being so busy and not getting any sleep.

Really anxious about Sat night (farewell party at a dance club about 30 min away). I also just really don’t want to go, would rather enjoy quiet and sleep. One of my friends (DH’s BFF wife) is going to wait for me to put L to bed and then we will carpool together.

DH is playing golf with coworkers after work so I get to do all of dinner/bath/bed solo tonight (I do most of it anyways but DH usually entertains C while I nurse L, which is about 20 min). Need to figure out what to do with him tonight...I used to have him in the pack n play but not sure that’s a good option anymore.

[Blue Moon]

Thanks so much for checking luv2rn4fun! Last night wasn't as awful as I had braced for. G was up a few times but he was burning with fever so I was glad he was up so I could give him medicine. I was so worried that I didn't sleep much even when he did. MIL reports that he took an unprecedented 4 hour nap this morning (because of course- he slept for 15 total minutes when I was home with him yesterday!) but he's refusing to eat anything. I'm guessing the sores are in his mouth now because he was wincing when drinking his bottle this morning. I'm making my sub plans to stay home tomorrow. I spoke to my principal and he was understanding. He has 4 young kids of his own so it makes me feel relieved to know he's empathetic at least. Hopefully G will start to improve soon.

I totally feel you on the plans Saturday night. A dance club is practically the very last place I'd like to be on a Saturday night. Every once in a while I have to accept plans like that in an effort to not be such a "boring" wife who just wants to stay home all the time. As far as solo bedtime, can you trust L to sit on the couch and watch a show while you nurse L? Sometimes I will give the ipad or tablet to B and have her sit on the beanbag chair right outside G's door if I need to do solo bedtime.

[luv2rn4fun]

Blue Moon- glad your principal was understanding and G took a good nap today. Hope he is feeling better soon and tomorrow is ok for you.

Thanks! It’s actually a girls night out (so DH will have a quiet house all to himself). It’s with the wives of DH’s closest friends...they are my friends as well but not my “best” friends. And I don’t dance so that should be fun LOL. Mostly I am just tired and would prefer to stay home, have a drink or two after bedtime, and call it a night by 9:30ish. I have a feeling it’s going to be a late night and I know I will be up early with L. Oh well, she is a good friend who has been here for me a lot so she’s worth the effort! Just wish I actually wanted to go where we are going.

ETA: C said he will stay in the PNP and watch mickey! He seems ok with it right now so hopefully it isn’t an issue when it’s time to put L to bed!

[luv2rn4fun]

Tonight actually went better than when DH is home (for the most part)! I was able to take the boys for a walk during dinner so they ate in the stroller while I walked (didn’t have to battle during dinner to get everyone to eat). C did a great job reading books in the PNP (he had a YouTube show on as well but I don’t think he watched it)! L wasn’t great with bedtime but did ok....the only hurdle was bath time when L pooped in the bathtub (he has only done this 1-2 other times and it hasn’t happened in a long time). I just had to laugh at the chances that it would happen tonight.

In other news...I have taken my thyroid every day so that’s great! But, I can’t seem to find a doctor to switch to (PCP because I need to start there to get a referral for an endocrinologist). I have had 6 different referrals and it’s either they don’t take our insurance, aren’t accepting new patients, or the latest that they don’t accept anyone under 65 yo (it was an internal medicine doctor). I emailed my GYN back asking for a second recommendation and have an additional PCP I will call tomorrow. Hoping something ends up working and I actually like the next doctor! Thankfully, I have two refills left (one that I just used) so I can take this dosage til then and adjust if needed. By the time I actually get an appointment scheduled it will likely be time to do another blood test (we also go on vacation in 5 weeks so I am hoping to be seen by at least the PCP before then but I know how that goes...).

ETA: I am making brownies tonight! I also have a candle burning and am enjoying pure peace and quiet! DH should be home soon and likely going to bed by 9!

[luv2rn4fun]

DH went golfing with coworkers and either stayed out too late or is hung over (or both...that’s my vote because he didn’t drink coffee this morning). He slept til 6:45 while I was up with L all night and up for the day at 5. I was getting both boys up when he finally got out of bed and then he was busy getting ready for work and I was getting us all ready for our day/preschool.

He was also a jerk when he got home last night. Frustrated because his coworker doesn’t have money stress because his wife works. Me being a SAHM was primarily DH’s idea. I made more money before I quit than he did...now that earning potential is likely gone after 3.5 years of being home. It makes me so mad that he doesn’t appreciate all I do...he has it so easy (like he rarely does any of the frustrating parts of parenting, has the kids solo so I can have me time, he has cooked dinner and lunches daily, House mostly cleaned, all of preschool and appointments taken care of, etc). So instead of coming home and being grateful for some guy time he was angry at me because his coworker doesn’t have money issues (he also probably doesn’t put 25% of their income towards retirement...it’s all about choices and priorities...it’s not like we are hurting as bad as he feels we are, just that we can’t spend a ton going out to eat, him playing golf or going out drinking with his guy friends, we have to be strategic on what we buy/need for the boys).

[bk1]

Big hugs luv2rn4fun . It's not fair at all for him to put all of that on you. Parenting is HARD. There is no way for him to understand what a tole it takes on a person to be at home with kids ALL DAY LONG. I feel so incredibility lucky to be at home with the girls, but sometimes I just want to walk out that door and not come home for a week. Is going back to work something you would want to do? My H does talk about the pressure of him being the solo income but he also talks about how it is so much easier for him that he doesn't have to deal with shopping/cooking/cleaning/etc. and would much rather me be at home to take care of all of that so when he is home he can focus on me and the girls. 



eta: We have talked about me going to work but even if I truly wanted to (and I don't atm) it would make things financially harder on us. I don't have the income potential to cover costs of what daycare would be.

[bk1]

MIL watched the girls for 6 hours the other day. It was amazing and by far the longest I have ever been away from C. Apparently C started looking for me 1.5 hours in. Now MIL seems hesitant to babysit at all. I asked her about watching both of the girls again so I could get my hair cut. She said that sounded good until I told her I wanted to add color as well so it would be at least 3 hours and then she started backing out. Ugh. 


G is a very cautious girl. After 4th of July last year she became scared of loud noises. She use to cry anytime something loud startled her but it has gotten better. Lately she has started saying she is scared of the wind. It's always windy. I mean in our state song it says "when the wind comes sweeping down the plains". She never wants to play in the back yard and will cry if I suggest it. I've started getting her back outside by suggesting looking for ladybugs or if we go on the porch to draw with chalk. Otherwise it's a fight the whole time. We went out to the backyard a bit ago and she ran off crying about being scared at least 4 times. I told her we could go inside at 10:45 which would give us 30 minutes outside. In that 30 minutes she had to have asked at least a dozen times if we could go inside. I sat my phone so she could watch the time and would count down how many minutes we had left whenever she would ask. She is instantly better when we are inside. Nothing specific happened to start this fear that I know of. Any suggestions for how to approach this? I hate to make her go outside knowing it upsets her but it's good for her and C loves playing outside and I don't want to keep her from it. G just has one negative experience with something and she is done. I think that's why we have struggled with potty training as well. 

[HoneySpider]

luv2rn4fun, I'm really sorry your H is being a jerk - that's really unfair of him. You do SO much with the boys and the house, and he knew when you made the decision to SAH that of course you'd have less money. It's not like that just happened. Everyone's situation is different and it's not fair to compare.

Does he have a solution that he's shared with you? For instance, does he want you to go back to work?

[luv2rn4fun]

May 18, 2018 11:27:38 GMT -5 bk1 said:

Big hugs luv2rn4fun . It's not fair at all for him to put all of that on you. Parenting is HARD. There is no way for him to understand what a tole it takes on a person to be at home with kids ALL DAY LONG. I feel so incredibility lucky to be at home with the girls, but sometimes I just want to walk out that door and not come home for a week. Is going back to work something you would want to do? My H does talk about the pressure of him being the solo income but he also talks about how it is so much easier for him that he doesn't have to deal with shopping/cooking/cleaning/etc. and would much rather me be at home to take care of all of that so when he is home he can focus on me and the girls. 



eta: We have talked about me going to work but even if I truly wanted to (and I don't atm) it would make things financially harder on us. I don't have the income potential to cover costs of what daycare would be.

Thanks! I feel the same way. I absolutely am grateful and I don’t think I would change anything but at the same time it is very hard and draining, especially when I never get a break. I feel like if DH were more of a team player (or at least appreciate all I do) it would be a lot easier on me.

My DH feels the same way. I likely could cover daycare costs with my income but really, what’s the point? It’s not like we would have that much more money and it would definitely complicate our life. I always point out that he would have to be more flexible with his job (for both daycare drop off or pick up and sick days), the evenings and weekends would be spent doing chores, errands, and we would be spending a lot more money on food because no way would I be cooking as much as I do. AND, we would have less time as a family.

I do Day dream of jobs I could do once they are in school. Likely I will either start my own business, teach at the loca community college, or work more for my dad. Or, I might not do anything...still TBD. DH wants to retire early (like once the kids are out of high school) and I can totally see myself working then LOL.

[luv2rn4fun]

May 18, 2018 12:15:43 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

luv2rn4fun, I'm really sorry your H is being a jerk - that's really unfair of him. You do SO much with the boys and the house, and he knew when you made the decision to SAH that of course you'd have less money. It's not like that just happened. Everyone's situation is different and it's not fair to compare.

Does he have a solution that he's shared with you? For instance, does he want you to go back to work?

Thanks! I don’t think he has any solutions. I think that deep down he does want me to stay at home still but is realizing just how hard it is and that it’s not getting any easier (if anything it’s getting harder and he is terrified of the costs once we have two in preschool 2019/2020 school year). Some things that haven’t helped is him not really getting a raise the past two years and our cost for insurance is a lot more. Plus we keep getting hit with little things like kids bday parties and teacher appreciation week.

I see his points and his stress but I also feel he can make the choice to allocate a little less to retirement to increase our budget. He doesn’t see this as an option though because he’s the only one contributing since I don’t work and he wants to retire early. He also put all our tax return money towards future home repairs (kitchen remodel etc) and just spent $$$ On fake grass...so when he’s stressing about not having enough I get annoyed because he has choices. Also, it’s not like I spend money entertaining the boys (everything I do with them, including our weekly bagels/coffee, Disneyland, etc, comes out of my fun money...he allocated nothing in our budget for fun while I am home with them) and our grocery bill is $350-400/month (which accounts for almost all meals because we don’t eat out often).

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun I just want to smack your H TBH. If it was mostly his idea for you to stay home, he can't complain about it. I think you guys should sit down and realistically discuss you working. Because you're right, it's very possible your check would only really cover daycare, and if you enjoy staying at home, what's the point? He needs to understand that plus all the things you do that he probably doesn't even notice!

[Blue Moon]

luv2rn4fun. Ugh sorry your H doesn’t see all that you do. Every few months my H and I have the same argument. It’s so frustrating. I don’t stay at home but I feel like I bear the brunt of all the toughest parts of parenting, ie kid sickness, MOTN wake ups, trying to keep up on cleaning the entire house while also responsible for the kids, etc. And my H really does a good amount with them if you tally it up. Anyway it’s so hard to feel unappreciated. Huge ((hugs)).