Vents... who's got 'em...

[mae0111]

Today has been a doozy.  

DD came home upset because her while she was sharpening her pencil at her desk, her awful teacher (we've have issues with all year) pointed to the sharpener and said, "That's mine."  Then she took it.  It was a $2.19 sharpener from Staples, and she accused my 8 year old of stealing it.  DD has had it in her desk all year.  I bought like 10, and it's like the only thing she hasn't misplaced this year.

A little while later, DD asked for it back.  The teacher was probably embarrassed, and gave it back to her.  She said, "I hope you don't think I was accusing you of stealing."  WTF???  OF COURSE YOU WERE ACCUSING HER OF STEALING!!

So I've ordered 10 pencil sharpeners to send to school with DD.  I've also crafted an email to send to her, the principal, and the superintendent talking about how inappropriate it is to accuse a kid who has been NO TROUBLE at all of stealing.  We are leaving the school system in less than 2 weeks.  Do I go on record with this?? Part of me just wants to send in the pencil sharpeners with a short note about misplacing things...

I have 10 more vents, including that my neighbor had trees taken down today and the tree people broke our fence around the pool, but I'll save those...

[twinmomma]

I am hiring someone new for my team to take over tasks from another group. Except, they want to move the tasks now, before I have hired someone. Havent even posted the position yet. With my summer schedule and the vacation time I have lined up, this is going to lead to an insane few months.

Also, DH forgot to drop something off at school today. I called to remind him and he got mad at me that I called to remind him too late, so it was my fault it didn't get done. Um, what? I shouldn't have to make it my responsibility at all once I delegate the task!

[waverly]

mae0111, I think I would just send in pencil sharpeners with a note. I think I would just be over talking to these people.

Vent- Dh is traveling tonight through Thursday, so I have to do both days of baseball, and I don't want to.

[2chatter]

mae0111 - I’d email the school and include the counselor. IME counselors escalate bad teachers. I would also send the teacher the email or an email.

[2chatter]

My big vent is my arm hurts so freaking bad. My TFFC is I am pretty sure I didn’t do this boxing. I think I did it trying to whip my sweaty sports bra off and I got stuck. I feel like an idiot.

I’m also insanely more relaxed with DH out of town. The house isn’t a mess, the kids are chill, DD is having a friend over for a night swim after soccer - none of those things would be true if DH were in town.

[mae0111]

2chatter, boxing is a better story. Go with that. :-)

[covergirl82]

mae0111 , you can't get out of that school soon enough! If you email higher-ups, I'd include the head of HR (if you think it would make a difference in how the situation is handled).

ETA:  My vent is that yesterday a director and another employee who are on a project team that I'm also on (and they know I'm on the project too), stopped by my coworker's desk yesterday to ask a question related to the project.  We have low cube walls, so I try not to listen to conversations around me, and my back was to them, so I didn't see them walk up to her desk, but when they started to talk specifically about the project, I stood up and then took over.  I was so mad that they didn't just walk to my desk to talk to me about it (I sit two desks away, on the other side of the cubicle wall).  They bothered my coworker and wasted her time (and their time).  Plus their question was dumb, so that made me more irritated.

[rere]

My, not good at adulting, renter cannot afford to buy the place he lives in. Fine. I have 2 people interested. I called the one who called first, and he is going to look at it. I get an angry txt 3 minutes after informing the renter we have someone looking at it, from the guy next in line. He said I told him he had first shot. Nope. I forwarded the txt back to him where he asked if he could try for it, and I said OK. He then says I should have told him someone else was interested. I don't have to disclose anything.

This guy is BFF with the renter. I guess he is going to buy it, and have the guy rent from him. Good luck. I'm so tired of chasing rent, I'm selling out. That entire property was filled with losers who I assume was mooching off my dad before we inherited it. I'll be glad to be rid of the entire thing.

[shakinros]

It’s been a doozy for me too mae0111. I’m so over DD’s K teacher. They do a little thing where each kid gets a week with special attention (be line leader! go first in show & tell! etc). DD waited the entire year and it’s finally her week. She’s so excited. Find out Monday afternoon that she’s sharing the week with another kid. Only time that’s happened all year. I would not be surprised if the other mom is a little pissy about it too. However, at least we didn’t get next week, as one little girl did. It’s the last week of school and they have half days every day. I can’t understand how the K teacher jacked this schedule up so badly. There’s 19 kids in this class and like 36 weeks of school.

Also there was a field trip last Friday. It was in the morning and DD has afternoon kindergarten. Fine, all the kids went together from both classes. We got a note though that morning K could sign up to stay for aftercare till 3pm. Afternoon K (DD’s class) had to be picked up at noon. WTF.

[traveltheworld]

I'm annoyed at DH. It's a long list of minor grievances. But the one that really got me was about him missing father's day celebration at DD's daycare because he'll be out of town. He completely sets his own schedule so he could have totally chosen to go out of town on a day that didn't conflict with the celebration. And yes, I get it - having to go to a thing at 3:00 in the afternoon on a weekday is annoying - but I did/do it every year for mother's day tea and other random events that the daycare / school puts on.

He also said : "oh now I feel bad for all those years when you were in private practice. Now that I'm as busy as you were, I can see how it was stressful. Good thing you are not busy now and can make all those eventsl". Um, no, I'm still busy, I'm just more efficient with my use of time and bend over backwards to adjust my schedule to make it to these annoying events so that our kids don't feel left out.

[k3am]

Weird vent. No really a vent, actually.

DS’s daycare teacher (formerly DD’s daycare teacher) gave us a jewelry set for DD and a $100 gift card. While we’re appreciative, gifts flow the other way! I don’t know what to do.

Apparently DH bringing her BBQ leftovers ever week for 3 years made an impression on the woman.

[mommyatty]

Why is there a gate D9 in terminal B??? Hello, LaGuardia. That’s just dumb. Gates that start w D are in terminal D in every other airport in America. Except maybe O’Hare.

[mustardseed2007]

k3am, that's really kind but I wouldn't know what to do either! Definitely a thank you card? It would cross my mind to try to give it back, but I don't think you can really do that.

Vent, I suppose: DD is sick. They observed a fever in the afternoon. Which means a day off work for me and a day home sick for her. Poor baby. I kind of don't mind - I barely saw her yesterday so I'm going to enjoy snuggling with her today. BUT I have an appointment with my nutritionist and they have a 24 hour cancellation policy...
I think I can bring her with me and just have her sit with my phone. Parents take their kids to their appointments right?

[mommyatty]

mustardseed2007- I don’t see why you can’t bring her. I would balk if you were going to see the gynecologist, but a nutritionist? She can sit beside you and play with your phone.

[erinshelley21]

We are only a week into summer and DS's attitude is about to kill me already. He picks up so much from my nieces and sounds like a 10 year old girl. Whining, talking back, and like is the most used word in his vocabulary. They are going on vacation next week and I'm excited because I might get my nice 4 yo boy back.

Eta: this happens with every school break. Summer, Christmas, fall, spring. All of em.

[mae0111]

erinshelley21, It's amazing how fast kids pick that stuff up. DD1 has started telling DD2 that if she doesn't do what she wants, she won't play with her anymore. Also telling DD2 that she has to give her toys to DD1 if she wants to be her friend.

After some roundabout probing, it seems that the girls at school who have been mean to her all year have taken this tact. I think DD1 has been sneaking toys into school to give them to the bullies so that they'll be nice to her.

Hopefully getting our kids a break from these influences will bring our sweet kids back...

[mae0111]

An update to my vent. DD1 begged me not to talk to the teacher. She said, "I only have 8 days left, Mommy. I can handle it. It will be so much worse if you talk to her." I told her I would respect her decision, but that I didn't understand... Last time I spoke to the teacher, she told me it got better. She said she didn't want to tell me, but the teacher accused her of making stuff up and causing trouble.

I'm beside myself. I want to show her that I respect her decision to let it go, but how can I? I will add this episode to my manifesto, then blast it out once I have her final grades in hand. Otherwise, I don't know what else to do.

I hate everyone at that school.

[sdlaura]

My DH is having surgery on his arm Friday (he forgot he was 42 years old and tried to lift something he shouldn’t, and tore something), and I know no details. What time do I need to leave work to be with him/pick him up? No idea. How long will he be on painkillers/out of commission to help take care of his 3 kids? Also no idea. What time does he need to get there, since DS’s father’s day event at school is that morning? Also no idea. I would have called to ask by now.

Also we have been redoing our front yard and got a letter from the HOA yesterday that we didn’t have it approved and therefore need to promptly cease the project and submit approval. It’s almost done so no ceasing is going to happen.

No idea how they would have known unless someone reported it. I got all the neighbors signatures last night and submitted the plan in the mail already and I’m playing dumb that we needed to submit plans for ‘yard work.’ I don’t think the notice has much in the way of teeth, especially since we live in an older neighborhood where people have a huge range of styles, and the renovation is a huge improvement. But if someone tries to tell me I have to tear our my beautiful and expensive new front patio I will freak out.

[sdlaura]

mae0111 I would respect her decision - I think she has a good point about there not being much time left.

I’m so sorry you’ve all had to go through so much with this school and teacher!

[2chatter]

mae0111 - I would hold off until school ends but IMO that gives you teeth. The teacher punished her for your interventions and created a culture of bullying. I would pull down the district bullying policy, drop it into Word and annotate it with every example you have - both of other kids bullying (and the teacher tolerating) and the teacher bullying. Also note your requests for assistance. I would walk that in to the principal and then superintendent (schedule appointments in advance). If they don’t resolve it I would share it widely. (Here that would mean “opening up” to a couple select parents who would push it through the grapevine and social media). I’d consider attending a school board meeting and sharing the bullying policy with annotation there.

Now is the time for our communities to back up all the rhetoric around being inclusive and kind - and when they aren’t, fostering a discussion to yield better results. These kids are going to grow up and be jerky adults, especially as an authority figure is setting that example. If the teacher was in a higher grade I would worry about suicide risk as a result of her behaviors with students - and I would say that.

[covergirl82]

rere, thank you for confirming that I never want to be a landlord. DH has mentioned a few times maybe we could buy a house to rent as an investment, but I have absolutely no desire to deal with all the headaches that come with being a landlord. I feel like good, responsible tenants are unicorns.

[erinshelley21]

mae0111, I think we are dealing with the same thing. I know niece 2 has a friend that is very bossy. That friend happens to live next a few houses away. I cringe when DS asks if he can go see if she's home and have thankfully been able to get out of it every time. But niece gets to do the bossing when she's with DS and then DS tries to boss us around. Then we've got the other niece who just doesn't do a single thing she is told to do. It's a hard combo of 4 year old boy energy and pre-teen attitude.

As for your DD and school, I would leave it alone. She's unfortunately at such a young age learned that some battles just aren't worth fighting. I would struggle with not saying anything for the next week but once school is out the gloves would come off.

[traveltheworld]

Jun 13, 2018 5:08:02 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Why is there a gate D9 in terminal B??? Hello, LaGuardia. That’s just dumb. Gates that start w D are in terminal D in every other airport in America. Except maybe O’Hare.

I have a passionate hatred for LaGuardia. I've never had a flight leave on time from there. And there's no food!

[phdmomma]

DS's summer camp is going to kill me. The hours are from 8:30AM - 3:30PM. Which is fine, and there is aftercare, that goes until 6pm. This is the camp that DH really pushed for and is across town, not the one two blocks from my office. Apparently DS was the last kid at aftercare yesterday and was super upset. Sigh, so now I am rearranging my work schedule so that I can get DS early, and avoid all of the traffic, and he can help me make dinner at home. It's fine, it's just super annoying as I mentioned that this would happen....

[mommyatty]

+1 to the bad influence. MIL made a great grandma friend who has grandkids who are both 2 years older than mine. The girl is just a bitch from what I can see. She’s rude to kids and adults, treats her little brother like he’s dog poop on her favorite shoe, and all the adults in her life go “Oh she’s an assertive leader.” Bull. She’s a little bitch who is growing up to be a bigger bitch. And DD has started emulating her. I very bluntly told DD that if I EVER hear her use a voice like this little girl’s ever again, especially when she’s talking to an adult or her brother, she will NEVER see this girl again in her life.

And I almost scratched my MIL’s eyes out when she said “Oh friend and I think the girls are exactly alike. Both just alpha females.” Bull.

[erinshelley21]

mommyatty, big difference between little brats that grow up to be bitches and alpha females/leaders. I've started telling DS if he doesn't cut the shit he's not going to MIL's anymore. I hate doing that to MIL because it isn't her fault since she actually tries to parent these girls where the actual parents are sticking their head in the sand about treating some issues one niece has and not even noticing that the other may be falling into some of the same patterns since they've let her sister get away with it for so long.

It's crap like this that makes me wish we would have got our kids into a daycare at least part time. At least then they would pick up habits from kids their own age? Free childcare is hard to pass up and DS being around older kids has had its perks (dressing himself early, he's had a decent vocabulary for quite a while), but both come at a price.

[justcheckingin73]

DS plays with a little girl who has pulled the - if you don’t do what I want to do, I’m going home - BS. One time I said - OK see you later! She also likes to say very loudly what DS is doing wrong when I’m around so I’ll say something to him. I ignore her.

She’s a couple of years older and also very bossy. Girls like her are one of the reasons I really hate the sentiment that goes around about telling our bossy girls they can be leaders. Bossy does not equal a good leader, in fact I think it’s the opposite. We need to teach our girls what a good leader is.

mae0111, I don’t even know what to say - I’d be irate. I feel so bad for your DD.

[rere]

Jun 13, 2018 9:10:08 GMT -5 covergirl82 said:

rere, thank you for confirming that I never want to be a landlord. DH has mentioned a few times maybe we could buy a house to rent as an investment, but I have absolutely no desire to deal with all the headaches that come with being a landlord. I feel like good, responsible tenants are unicorns.

Before I took over this, we thought about buying a rental property. Not any more. I'd rather just put it in my mutual funds, Roths, whatever. At least they are not assholes that speak to me.

[mae0111]

Another update: DD came home with a bruise and a cut on her arm, inflicted by some little sociopath on the playground. Not the first time this kid has hurt her. She told the recess teachers before, and they dismissed her. We told the principal before, and she did nothing.

I left a message for the principal and the superintendent today, and I spoke to the school psychologist. She basically said she couldn’t do anything, and it was unlikely that the administration would address it.

So perhaps a lawyer and an interview with the local news station is in order.

I’m also going to get the school to count the remaining 7 days as excused absences and just be done with that place.

[erinshelley21]

mae0111 that is outrageous. Not attending the last 7 days is a good idea. At this rate something else could happen every one of those days