Week of 8/13

[shauni27]

morning. Be prepared for a woe is me post ahead.

S has a cough at night that wakes him (and us) up over and over. I am so tired. 

He has also been super whiny and clingy with me and it is exhausting. It could be a phase, but I am also wondering if he is cutting more teeth and/or having dairy sensitivity. We are going to cut out yogurt (he is already on lactose free milk) and see if that helps.

Further, I am just so burnt out and upset and resentful and sad about G working every weekend. I hate this. I want 1) to be able to spend our anniversary weekend together. 2) to feel appreciated. 3) to get a little time off. 4) to have a partner to help me. 

BLAH. Tell me of your weekends or upcoming plans this week.

[oneslybookworm]

I'm sorry you're struggling, shauni27. I hope things calm down for you guys soon!


This week is insanely busy. We have something going on every evening, and of course I'm working every day this week, so I feel like it's just "go go go" continuously. Which, frankly, I hate. But oh well. A lot of it is J is an extrovert and misses adult contact so he plans stuff in the evening, and I try to accommodate because I feel for him, but I'm a freaking introvert and I hate spending every evening with people. Thankfully, it's just one week, so next week will be better.

I tried out a new bread recipe yesterday, and it turned out really well, so I'm super happy there! Also, we joined a gym, so hopefully I can get into a better routine with working out. I'm not training for anything specific (I have a 5k on my birthday in September), but hoping to make exercise more "routine" so that it becomes habit to do it, rather than go straight home from work.

That's about it! Not a ton going on, just plugging away. Oh, and G is officially 1 year old, his EDD was last week!

[shauni27]

oneslybookworm, I am with you and while I am somewhat extroverted, I NEED my evenings to myself. I hate having multiple evening plans, and we too have a handful of them this week. Kills me!

[ivy]

I'm sorry you had a rough weekend shauni27. Being on all the time is so, so tough. Sometimes I find myself even dreading the couple of hours between the time I get home with DD and the time H comes home. I find it's harder because we don't have much structure in the afternoons, and she ends up watching more TV than I would like because I'm just too tired/sick right now to more meaningfully engage with her. Cue guilt and the viscous cycle continues. Do you have activities lined up for him on the weekends? Until something with your H changes, that may help take some of the pressure off you.

I will also commiserate on the sick child. DD has a terrible cold and the poor thing ended up in our bed around 5 this morning. No one slept well after that. She was in an ok mood once she was up until I brushed her hair which really set her off (so much DRAMA around hair brushing in our house). Then she did what she usually does when she is feeling poorly and threw everything in her reach then started hitting and kicking us. I know she just doesn't have the language to fully express how she feels right now and this is her way of expressing it, but it's really hard to feel nurturing toward someone while they are actively coming after you. Hoping the cold passes quickly!

My last RE appt is on Friday, and my appt with a maternal fetal specialist is a week from tomorrow. I really need to pick a new OB (my old one delivers at a smaller hospital, and I loved my experience there last time, but the NICU isn't as good at the bigger hospitals in town), problem is it seems like every doctor who delivers at the big hospitals will only do a c-section since it's twins. I'm not stuck on some idealized birthing experience, but if they are both head down and all other circumstances are right, I'd like a shot at a vaginal delivery. I've put out feelers with basically everyone I know who would have a recommendation, and it's not looking like I have any options. So I guess I'm resigning myself to a c-section. I realize I would most likely end up with one anyway, but I don't feel great about not having the option.

[scm1011]

shauni27 , I'm guessing it's a phase. C has always been what we affectionately call a Mama Monster, but the 12-15ish month period was EXTREME and I thought I was going to lose it. Honestly, I found the 12-18 month period in general really challengIng; they know what they want but don't really have the means to communicate their needs so there is a lot of frustration all around. Doing it solo is an extra layer of difficulty, and I don't blame for for feeling resentful. Is there a way to get at least a couple hours off a week? A babysitter, or even the gym daycare? Take a mental health day and send S to daycare while you relax? Hang in there, mama.

[kellikans]

Poor L has been sick going on 2 weeks. He started off with just a cold/congestion/cough, but now he's had diarrhea for almost a week. We went to the pedi on Saturday and she said it was most likely the virus working its way through. She suggested probiotics and I gave him half the dose yesterday morning and he was so fussy the rest of the day. Super gassy, couldn't get comfortable, didn't want to eat. Broke my heart. And his little stuffed up, sniffly nose is so sad. I can't wait for this to pass. But I'm sure it's going to be constant now that he's in daycare.

He's also been having blowouts every morning on the way to daycare. So I've learned and now keep an emergency pack in the car with diapers, wipes and a change of clothes. But it's making me late to work every day. He doesn't have them any other time, so I'm thinking it's the way he's positioned in his car seat that it's just prime opportunity to go out the sides and up his back. We're almost through the last few diapers in this size, then we'll be moving up to bigger ones. Hopefully that'll help.

[shauni27]

ivy, I schedule a few things for us every day--even if it is something lame. I cannot just be in the house with him all day by myself, I would go crazy. I try to do a balance of time at home for naps (for both of us!) and exercise and housework, plus stuff outside of the house for both of our sake's. This weekend we met friends for a walk, did grocery shopping, went blueberry picking and went to see some live music all sprinkled into the weekend.

[shauni27]

kellikans, we always knew that we needed to size up when we started having regular blow outs, lol.

[mpc]

Hi all! My work project is DONE! I slept in today, came to work late, and now I'm puttering about killing time and determined not to do anything useful all week. LOL.

My son starts Kindergarten on wednesday. We go meet his teacher tomorrow. EEEEK. I'm so nervous for him. He is so eager to start, I don't think he knows what's coming. I'm seeing everybody posting back to school photos on Facebook and it makes me feel like I should've prepared more - bought one of those chalkboard things or bought him new clothes. Alas, I haven't had it that together lately. He won't care I'm sure. He has a backpack, and all the school supplies he needs, but I never got around to getting him a lunchbox. We have something he can use, but I'd like to get something that I can stick an ice pack in and use one of those bento kind of boxes. Again, he will be ok if it's not there the first day right? lol.

[cactuscookie]

That sucks, shauni27, parenting on your own just isn't as fun. Even when it's easy, I still miss having someone around to talk about how cute she is!

I can commiserate with the tantrums, ivy! I usually manage to sneak in hair combing without too much fuss, but this morning, DH and I literally held H down to get her dressed while she screamed and kicked. She doesn't go through rampages as much anymore, where she take all of her toys and just throws them, but there was a stage a few months ago when she would do it a few times a week. It's kinda funny once in a while, although I'm not the biggest fan of picking up hundreds of play food items.

[cactuscookie]

For the most part, H was a super trooper last week on a trip across the country to visit family. She was fine through the flights, meeting all sorts of relatives, sleeping at different houses, being dragged out to restaurants and activities everyday. Cracks started to show toward the end of the week, when she started getting fussier and clingier, but she mostly held it together - until we got home. And then she had like ten tantrums in about two hours. It probably doesn't help that now she's stuck with just her parents, without her grandma who's a lot easier on her.

The only other issue is that she's now afraid of public bathrooms (solidarity, loira!). She doesn't like the automatic flushers, and she got to the point where she wouldn't use any public bathroom, even ones that don't have automatic flushers. DH and I debated just sticking her in a pull-up from the beginning yesterday for the flights home and decided we'd start out in undies, but that turned out to be a mistake that resulted in all three of us covered in pee before our first flight even took off.

And, poor thing, she already didn't want to go to daycare this morning, and then when we got there, it turns out that she's in a new room with a new teacher now. She knows all the kids in there, so I guess they moved a bunch of them at once, but she started crying as soon as she realized she wasn't going to her old room and never stopped while I was there. The teacher didn't seem particularly nurturing, she was more strict. "We eat with spoons in my classroom, not our hands, that's one of my rules." "We sit forward at the table in my classroom, that's one of my rules." Lady, they're two and this is all brand new to them, maybe lighten up a bit. I don't know if the other kids got eased into the new room over the last week while we were on vacation, but they seemed okay while H was freaking out. I think her old room was too loud and energetic for her, so this might end up being a better situation for her in the end, because there are fewer kids and, with the stricter teacher, I suspect they won't be running around yelling. But it wasn't a gentle transition.

[shauni27]

cactuscookie, poor H! That is a lot to deal with, sweet girl. I hope the transition for the new room goes smoothly!

[ivy]

Oh what a trooper you have, cactuscookie. I bet a few days in her routine and she'll be back to herself. Those daycare transitions always sound so tough and like they could be managed better. I guess the kids resiliency means they don't need to do much to prep them, but I know some of my girlfriends often have those rough weeks when they are, without warning, moved to the next classroom. I guess my daycare is not the norm - all of the kids have been together since they were infants with the same teachers. They all "move up" and transition together.

[mpc]

shauni27, I am so frustrated for you that G is still working so much. This was supposed to be his slow time right? How do you feel about this new stuff he's doing now? My DD has been crying every night which is unusual for her. I think it is teeth but I don't see any coming through. I feel like when they get to this age teeth take forever and bother them for longer periods than when they were babies. They past 2 nights I've taken her temp and it was 99.7/100 which to me seems like a teething temp. I don't know really know what to do about it... medicate her every night for months?

ivy, I'm sorry you're having trouble finding a new OB that would support trying vaginally. It seems like there has to be someone. Maybe the MFM will have a suggestion? If that's what you want then I think it's completely reasonable to try.

kellikans, oh man blowouts in the car suck. Switch to the bigger diapers! At least during that morning time when this keeps happening. You can use up the smaller ones during less volatile (lol) times.

my DD has started saying "poop" and pointing at her butt whenever she poops. It's useful for sure, but good lord, she's only 16 months. Slow down!

[cactuscookie]

Aug 13, 2018 12:57:29 GMT -5 ivy said:

Oh what a trooper you have, cactuscookie . I bet a few days in her routine and she'll be back to herself. Those daycare transitions always sound so tough and like they could be managed better. I guess the kids resiliency means they don't need to do much to prep them, but I know some of my girlfriends often have those rough weeks when they are, without warning, moved to the next classroom. I guess my daycare is not the norm - all of the kids have been together since they were infants with the same teachers. They all "move up" and transition together.

I wish they did this. I miss H's old daycare - it is the only thing I miss about the town we used to live in! It was perpetually understaffed, which was stressful for them, but meant that H and I knew all of the teachers well. It also meant that they didn't take on many new kids, so she was only in a room with 7-8 kids at a time, not the 15 in her old toddler room here. Also, they took room transitions very slowly, bringing the kid over to the new room for a limited time each day, accompanied by a teacher. Plopping a 2YO in a new room with a new teacher on her first day back after a week away just seems kind of mean.

[shauni27]

mpc, yeah, he has always had crazy hours from Nov-March, and as much as it SUCKS, I adjusted and have accepted that as our normal. But with the new bike park he opened (which has always been his dream) it means we literally having one month with regular hours and the rest will be weekend work.

I think if I knew that he was being fairly compensated and treated better than he is it would make somewhat of a difference. The hard part for me is that he keeps telling me he is trying to get it to be weekend on-weekend off rotation with his assistant but so far that has not happened and I am having a tough time trusting that it will because he gets screwed at every turn. And he is often miserable with his work but is also so proud of it and loves it at the same time so getting him to look for other work is like pulling fucking teeth.

I really cannot express how rough this has been on both of us and I do not know what to do at this point other than just cry.

[mpc]

shauni27, hugs, girl. It sounds so rough. If this bike park is his dream, can he switch to this time of year being crazy busy but cutting back during the winter? Seems like at some point, something's gotta give... I'm sorry, I know you've been struggling. You've been doing a fantastic job.

[starryfish]

Aug 13, 2018 10:12:14 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

shauni27 , I'm guessing it's a phase. C has always been what we affectionately call a Mama Monster, but the 12-15ish month period was EXTREME and I thought I was going to lose it. Honestly, I found the 12-18 month period in general really challengIng; they know what they want but don't really have the means to communicate their needs so there is a lot of frustration all around. Doing it solo is an extra layer of difficulty, and I don't blame for for feeling resentful. Is there a way to get at least a couple hours off a week? A babysitter, or even the gym daycare? Take a mental health day and send S to daycare while you relax? Hang in there, mama.

i want to echo this x100000000!!!!!!!! 12-18 is a HARD time. S went through the momma phase even tho my DH is home and is a great Dad, she would scream for me even if I went to go pee lol. Luckily it has gotten better lately (20m now) but she still prefers me which is normal I think. 

[starryfish]

I am 7dpIUI so just in the waiting game.

I went out of town over the weekend ALONE to visit my sister and it was so fun! We went to the Pioneer Women's restaurant and OMG was it YUMMY!

[loira]

Ditto 12 months to 18 being quite hard. Especially as A couldn't walk until 17 months so activities were limited.

cactuscookie, I'm sorry H is having a hard time with the public washrooms. A won't even go in one with me, let alone use the toilet. I'm at the point where I'm just going to buy a travel potty. It seems confusing to make her go in a pull-up and cruel to keep forcing her to go in (exposure has made it worse and she now obsesses over whether or not places have bathrooms, do they have towels of hand dryers etc). And sometimes I don't want to go home early just because she has to pee and won't go elsewhere. I'm also sorry about the daycare situation. That is really upsetting. A would flip her shit at being moved suddenly with no preparation.

[loira]

We're doing well - prepping for our camping trip, trying to get paperwork complete for my H.

I wasn't feeling well on Saturday night and A came and brought me her 2 favourite stuffies to sleep with and I pretty much cried because despite me being a bit of a hard ass, she's obviously learning kindness. Probably from daycare, haha, but I'll pretend it's from me. She's also been saying "I love you, mama!" a lot. And not just when she wants a cookie.

[cactuscookie]

Aug 13, 2018 14:30:20 GMT -5 loira said:

cactuscookie , I'm sorry H is having a hard time with the public washrooms. A won't even go in one with me, let alone use the toilet. I'm at the point where I'm just going to buy a travel potty. It seems confusing to make her go in a pull-up and cruel to keep forcing her to go in (exposure has made it worse and she now obsesses over whether or not places have bathrooms, do they have towels of hand dryers etc). And sometimes I don't want to go home early just because she has to pee and won't go elsewhere. I'm also sorry about the daycare situation. That is really upsetting. A would flip her shit at being moved suddenly with no preparation.

I'm hoping that now that we're home, she'll get a break from public bathrooms for a few weeks and by then, she'll get over it. I'm not expecting places with single bathrooms to be an issue, so most of the restaurants we go to should be fine. And she can often hold it for a while, so if we make her go before she leaves the house and keep her on the dehydrated side, we might be able to keep doing our normal activities...

This is all very wishful thinking, of course.

[belovedbride07]

Aw, shauni27, I'm sorry that you're burnt out and having a rough time. 

And cactuscookie, that is so much going on for little H! I hope that after a couple days she's back into the swing of things.

I seriously underestimated how hard it was going to be to cycle with kids around. Between scheduling appointments and trying to time shots, it's way more stressful than I thought it would be. I'm on day 3 of PIO and I had forgotten how much it SUCKS. And my doctor has me doing them in the morning, so now we've got to get that done before the kids get up, and it's just a terrible way to start the day.

I also seriously reduced my caffeine consumption starting this weekend (max of 1 cup of coffee/day), and I had also underestimated how much that was keeping me going. Between that and the progesterone fatigue, I was useless yesterday.

And then our nanny called in sick today. We adore her, but between sickness and car trouble she hasn't gone two weeks without missing a day in months (and we only have her 3 days/week). It's so frustrating, and I feel like I'm limited to scheduling things when DH is off or can work from home because I can't rely on her being here. I've started putting out feelers to preschools because I need to get some stability. Luckily the kids have reached a level of independent play (finally!) that allows me to get some work done while they're with me.

[turboteal]

shauni27, I'm sorry, that sounds really, really hard. My H recently went from part time back to full time (he's been applying for different spots for a couple years and of course gets the full time spot now that we're pregnant, he initially went part time with the idea of staying at home with baby when we started TTC) and it's been a bit of a bummer not having him around and cooking me dinner most of the week. He's already said that if it doesn't work for our schedule once baby gets here then he is willing to drop back down to part time. Of course, he's not doing his dream job, so that makes it easier for him to say that. I hope your H's current schedule gets better, or he can drop some of the busy winter work like mpc suggested. Has he had to spend any extended time caring for the baby by himself? If talking is not really getting him to see that things need to change, maybe you can go on a trip and leave him with the baby for a week to really force him to see what it's like to be doing it alone all the time. (Is that a terrible idea?? No kids yet, sorry if I'm way off with that suggestion!)

I'm 28 weeks yesterday, so officially in the third trimester, I think! It has started going by so fast lately. I signed us up for a childbirth class, unfortunately due to my work schedule the only option that would work is when I'm at the end of week 37, so hopefully I'm still pregnant by then! Will also need to sign us up for an infant care class, but there appear to be more options for that so I'm waiting a little bit on that one. I'm also working on getting some baby stuff ready, we got a crib at target, plus a gift card for spending x amount on baby stuff. Now I might use that gift card to get the car seat we want, because Graco has a thing going right now where you can get a free base with proof of purchase of any snugride snuglock seat. That's like a $40 savings, so I'm thinking it's the time to make that purchase! Also looking at getting a good condition used RNP off FB marketplace (got an older but very good condition City Mini for $40 there) and possibly using some other store gift cards to cover most of the cost of a PNP. I feel weird having pricey stuff on my registry, so I like the idea of taking care of these bigger items on my own but still getting a good deal!

Baby feels like she is getting so big. Lately when she moves it's changed from ooh! to ow?! She seems quite...pointy sometimes. At work last night one of my coworkers scanned me with our ultrasound machine so I got to see what position she is in (head down, kinda twisty/oblique, very wiggly and doing little corkscrews that cause the really weird movements I've been feeling). Now I know that when I suddenly feel out of breath it's because her little feet are shoving my diaphragm out of her way, ha! I just hope all this abdominal muscle soreness will decrease a little bit, maybe as everything adjusts to being stretched out some more? I have a particular spot just below my ribs to the sides of my sternum that feels very sore most of the time, especially after I eat (I'm learning I can't eat as much of a meal as I used to, but I still keep trying and then I am in pain afterwards and it's very sad, lol). As much as it's starting to hurt though I'm still always looking to feel her move, especially when I first wake up and think when did she last move?? and I poke her to get a poke back.

[katespade]

My anatomy scan is Wednesday, and I'm stating to get really nervous. I'm having it done with the MFM because of the uterine septum they found during my NT scan, and they're going to be doing extra measurements to make sure that's not causing any problems or impacting my cervix. I'm so terrified that they're going to say something is wrong.

Also, I had a dream last night that at my a/s they told me I'm having a boy, so now I'm kind of freaked out that they're going to tell us the NIPT results were somehow wrong and it's actually a boy. LOL.

[shauni27]

Aug 13, 2018 17:52:36 GMT -5 turboteal said:

shauni27, I'm sorry, that sounds really, really hard. My H recently went from part time back to full time (he's been applying for different spots for a couple years and of course gets the full time spot now that we're pregnant, he initially went part time with the idea of staying at home with baby when we started TTC) and it's been a bit of a bummer not having him around and cooking me dinner most of the week. He's already said that if it doesn't work for our schedule once baby gets here then he is willing to drop back down to part time. Of course, he's not doing his dream job, so that makes it easier for him to say that. I hope your H's current schedule gets better, or he can drop some of the busy winter work like mpc suggested. Has he had to spend any extended time caring for the baby by himself? If talking is not really getting him to see that things need to change, maybe you can go on a trip and leave him with the baby for a week to really force him to see what it's like to be doing it alone all the time. (Is that a terrible idea?? No kids yet, sorry if I'm way off with that suggestion!)

I'm 28 weeks yesterday, so officially in the third trimester, I think! It has started going by so fast lately. I signed us up for a childbirth class, unfortunately due to my work schedule the only option that would work is when I'm at the end of week 37, so hopefully I'm still pregnant by then! Will also need to sign us up for an infant care class, but there appear to be more options for that so I'm waiting a little bit on that one. I'm also working on getting some baby stuff ready, we got a crib at target, plus a gift card for spending x amount on baby stuff. Now I might use that gift card to get the car seat we want, because Graco has a thing going right now where you can get a free base with proof of purchase of any snugride snuglock seat. That's like a $40 savings, so I'm thinking it's the time to make that purchase! Also looking at getting a good condition used RNP off FB marketplace (got an older but very good condition City Mini for $40 there) and possibly using some other store gift cards to cover most of the cost of a PNP. I feel weird having pricey stuff on my registry, so I like the idea of taking care of these bigger items on my own but still getting a good deal!

Baby feels like she is getting so big. Lately when she moves it's changed from ooh! to ow?! She seems quite...pointy sometimes. At work last night one of my coworkers scanned me with our ultrasound machine so I got to see what position she is in (head down, kinda twisty/oblique, very wiggly and doing little corkscrews that cause the really weird movements I've been feeling). Now I know that when I suddenly feel out of breath it's because her little feet are shoving my diaphragm out of her way, ha! I just hope all this abdominal muscle soreness will decrease a little bit, maybe as everything adjusts to being stretched out some more? I have a particular spot just below my ribs to the sides of my sternum that feels very sore most of the time, especially after I eat (I'm learning I can't eat as much of a meal as I used to, but I still keep trying and then I am in pain afterwards and it's very sad, lol). As much as it's starting to hurt though I'm still always looking to feel her move, especially when I first wake up and think when did she last move?? and I poke her to get a poke back.

He cannot reduce his winter hours as that is his prime time. He has spent 3 days with S while I went away and has him one day a week. He IS helpful around the house but it’s just so exhausting right now.

But!! I loved reading everything you wrote about being 28 weeks. I remember those feelings you described so well and I really miss it. So much excitement and anticipation! Feeling the baby move is the literal best. I had that pain right below my ribs literally for the last 3 months and it was awful.

[thoseareradishes]

Hugs shauni27. H was working a lot of hours last fall and it was so hard having E all day by myself, dealing with all her doctor appts alone and doing most of her care. I hope your H can figure out something soon.

cactuscookie, poor H! E would not handle change like that well. I hope she forgets about her bathroom fear soon!

I haven't been around much because we moved into our new house last week! We'd been looking for a new house for literally years, and finally found the perfect one. I'm so excited it has a yard for E; she's been enjoying going outside and picking up rocks, sticks, and leaves and exploring the new neighborhood.

[konapoppy]

ivy that is super frustrating. I luckily found an experienced OB who said he would do a vaginal delivery (both girls were head down, but they refused to come out so I ended up with a c-section). It was weird going in knowing either way that I would have to deliver in the OR.

I do have a friend who is an OB and she said that in their practice if there is something that some OBs won't do, none of them will. For example, since some won't do a breach extraction of Baby B, none of them will.

I hope you can find a good fit. I will say, at the end of a twin pregnancy I was just grateful to have them out of me LOL

shauni27, I can't even imagine doing that much solo parenting. I am hoping you guys can figure something out.

[ivy]

Thanks, konapoppy. I'm trying to keep in mind that how they get here is completely insignificant in the long run (and truly, largely out of my control!), it's just vaginal is the devil I know. I don't really want to push two babies out, but the idea of having surgery (no matter how routine it is) makes me uneasy. Especially since I'll have 3 (!) children to care for afterward. The upside is that I did reach out to a neighbor yesterday afternoon who used to be a L&D nurse at this hospital. I hadn't wanted to bother her (we are very friendly, hung out a few times, but not close), but I was a little desperate. She was great and so reassuring. She gave me a recommendation for a practice and thinks the chances are good I can attempt a vaginal delivery assuming babies are head down and everyone is healthy based on my history. So I made an appointment, and if it doesn't work out, I can always change drs down the road. So I'm feeling a bit calmer today!

[oneslybookworm]

Got a bit of happiness from G today!! I've been worried because he hasn't really said any words yet. I've thought I've heard "mama" from him once or twice, but wasn't sure. This morning, after I left for work, J caught it on video G saying "Dada"!!! I'm so happy!!! MY BABY SPEAKS!