I’m on a 7am flight this morning for a day trip. It felt strange to go through the airport with my backpack and no roll-aboard. I’m home tomorrow and then fly back out Wednesday night after an all-day meeting. I will come home Friday morning, which means I land mid-afternoon.
My EVP asked me Friday if my level of travel is sustainable. I told him, “Well, I’ve been doing it for ten years, so I guess it is.”
Celebration: I pitched an idea on Friday I’ve been cooking up for a while. I want a dotted line reporting relationship to my biggest internal client. I got buy-off from my EVP, then met with my client who loved the idea. Then pitched it to my VP, who totally would have squashed it if my EVP hadn’t already signed off. But he had to be enthusiastic since I said “EVP said you would be all over this idea!” in my most chipper voice. So I executed that coupe in a day. BAM! Whoohoo!!
Celebrations 1: Something is coming together personally that would allow H and I to buy a vacation rental/investment property several years earlier than I ever imagined. Frankly I had always put that dream in the “probably not happening” category. H is ecstatic. I don’t count money until it is in my account but I am cautiously optimistic.
Celebrations 2: I was kicking myself for not working over the weekend because I have SO MUCH TO DO. But I logged in early this morning and a few hours in i feel much more settled. It’ll be a busy week, but I think I’ll make it.
Vent: H is OOT for another 5 days and I weirdly miss him. I mean, I love him, but he’s traveled in varying degrees our whole relationship and I’ve never been particularly upset about it. I haven’t been this bothered by a trip in probably ten years!
Celebration: I pulled off a full solo weekend, washed every ounce of laundry in my house, and had time to scrub the bathroom and kitchen, which needed it desperately. Plus, had time to do fun stuff. And this morning I successfully dropped off the kids to a sitter and made it to work relatively on time.
Vent: STBXH stopped by to grab a couple things yesterday and gave me his sad puppy face and told me that he "Really thinks we'll be able to remain friends" through all this. Every time I feel like "Ok, I got this" he pulls that type of thing on me and I spiral.
Celebration: DH and I were able to sneak out for a quick, casual dinner on Saturday night. Great conversation, even though we strayed into some unpleasant topics.
Vent: I am even more covered in poison ivy. I couldn’t go to the dr yesterday because it’s a walk in clinic and I didn’t want to drag the kids. DH worked for part of the day, so by the time he got home, they were closed. This morning DH has an MRI scheduled, and I scheduled a play date with a girl from DD’s new school. So I will do that, then bring the kids to DH and head to the clinic. I did do the Zanfel wash, which definitely helped, but I’m getting so many new patches that I can’t keep up. I’ve gone through one tube ($47), and every other store I tried is sold out. Amazon couldn’t deliver until Tuesday.
Overall a very nice weekend. I was sick last week with a cold. Still stuffy but it didn’t stop us from doing fun things. And I hesitate to mention this because I might jinx it, but DH did NOT go down with a man cold because of it. I’m pleasantly shocked.
Nice day Saturday sitting in a field at a vintage baseball festival. DH finally bought a new mower and mowed the front lawn so I don’t have to be quiiiiite so embarrassed by the state of our yard.
Sunday we had a birthday party to attend and I’m having some feels about my kid socially. Other kids don’t choose to play with her or sit by her. The neighbor kid who DD sees as a best friend was there but went out of her way to not play with DD. Example: the kids sat down for cake. DD sat down first. Neighbor girl scooted around the table with the other girls to leave empty seats next to DD. Then we get home from the party. DD and I are inside cleaning up and DH tells me that neighbor kid runs over to beg him for a play date.
It was easy to say no this time cause everyone was busy but I don’t know what to do next time. On the one hand, I obv need to encourage friendships wherever DD can get them. OTOH, I don’t really want DD learning that it’s ok for this girl to be her friend only when other kids aren’t around.
Vent: I survived the weekend, which is a miracle. Started off with DS having no dress shirt that fit him for picture day tomorrow, including the one I bought at Easter. He hates shopping, so that is fun. DH goes to mow grass Saturday, it won't start. Sunday morning I am canning tomato juice, and I manage to pour a cup of boiling tomato juice on my hand. So I am typing with blistered fingers. We go to the funeral home for the mom/grandma of friends, and come home and the house is weirdly hot. Air condition is broken, it is 90 degrees. I had also waited all day because DH said he wanted to run with me, but never got around to it, so I ran in 90 degree weather at 4:00 PM which I hate, with a bandaged burned hand.
Celebrate. At least DH is a handy guy. A call to a friend, and off to somewhere to buy a part and the lawnmower is fixed for $15. A call to his uncle who owns a heating and air business, a trip to his house for a part, and DH has the air running by 5:30 for free. I still feel like the financial gods are out to get use, but so far, DH has fixed the refrigerator, vacuum, lawn mower, and air conditioner and my accountant has fixed my tax issue.
mae0111, it sounds like you need some steroids. My brother is highly allergic to poison ivy. If he gets so much as a dot of it on him, it spreads rapidly until he gets a high dose of steroids in him. I hope you get some relief soon!
DS1 and I had a good day on Saturday. He participated in the soccer skills competition and ended up winning first place in the longest throw in and fastest dribbling contest and second place in the goal shooting contest. He was very excited. To be fair, I think only 2 kids participated in his age group (U5), but it was still fun! DH, DD, DS2 and FIL had a great time visiting SIL. They didn't get back home until midnight, which made for a cranky DS2. He slept on the car ride, but DH had to change him when they got home. It took an hour to get him to go back to sleep. On Sunday, DS2 was still cranky, but DH managed to get him to take a 2 hour nap. Then we just hung out around the house.
My weeks are going to be busy for the foreseeable future. I'll be teaching class on Wednesday evenings, soccer practice is on Thursdays, and games are on Saturday mornings.
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 27, 2018 8:42:30 GMT -5
I got home at 1am Saturday from my week long work trip. It was a great trip. DH's nephew got married Saturday. I was back to work yesterday for a 13 hour day. DH is back to school this week, so I'm back to getting a couple of hours of me time in the afternoons which I am very excited to have back.
xctsclrx, good luck today! Hope your re-entry goes smoothly.
polecat8, hoping for steroids today. I have prescription strength cortisone cream, but it's not touching it. I hope I'm not too late for shot.
shakinros, as you probably remember from all of my whining and venting, we've had similar issues with DD1's friends. We tried to let her figure it out on her own, and we tried to gently point out times that these friends were not nice to her. At one point with one friend, after a particularly egregious display of nastiness, I had to finally tell DD that her friend was not welcome in our house anymore. So, I guess I'd gently explain how friends act and don't act, and ask her if she thought this girl acted like a friend. My younger DD picks up on this stuff a lot faster than my older DD, so it's possible that after you point it out, your DD will figure this out.
Two big achievements for the weekend - I cleaned out two large cabinets in the kitchen (we still had some sippy cups...). And DH and I had a date dinner Saturday and grilled while the kids swam last night so we are eating in line with the game plan (not last minute dissatisfying junk).
Downside - sushi date and I had another anaphylactic reaction. Immediately doubled down on Benadryl, but now I need to go to the allergist to get an epi pen because we were close to heading to the ER. The feeling of doom/anxiety was super intense for hours this time even after the coughing/wheezing stopped.
Also survived DD having four parties this weekend. Can’t wait for the chill holiday weekend.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 27, 2018 8:55:58 GMT -5
rere, I can't even imagine my DH successfully fixing anything, so that's really cool to me.
Saturday evening, after a birthday party and shoe shopping, we take the kids out to a quick service restaurant to eat. It's a sort of related company to the one I work for, and lo and behold, the owner of my company is there.
Without going into details, my kids were exaughsted from the day but had the delirious energy of two over tired kids. There was bickering and really loud laughing and one full on tantrum where my kid screamed at me that I wreck everything. I'm still not fully recovered from embarrassment.
Post by covergirl82 on Aug 27, 2018 8:58:41 GMT -5
Today has been awful so far. We lost power last night around 10:30 pm due to a storm. Today is the kids' first day of school, so no power made for a more challenging morning, and no pancakes or other more filling/yummy breakfast on the first day. Then DS puked in the car (luckily in a plastic bag) on the way to school because he was nervous (it's a new thing for him...this is his 4th year at this school and he has friends in his class, so I don't know what is causing that level of anxiety). DH did just recently call to say that he took DS to school and walked him to his class, so hopefully once DS gets settled in class, he'll be fine. DH said that the teacher was in the hallway with another student who was late (due to the power outage), so thankfully he wasn't the only one walking in late.
Also thankfully, the power should come back on later this morning (unlike the first estimate of 4 pm tomorrow).
ETA: The afternoon has been a huge improvement over the morning. Power was back on at home by the time I came home to take my dog to the vet for her check-up on her paw infection. (It's not completely healed, but it is so much better.) While I was waiting at the vet, I emailed DS's teachers (he has team teachers who alternate days, but they are both there the first day) to see if he was doing better. One of the teachers emailed back within 20 minutes to say he was having a great day and is settled in and past his nervousness. So I feel much better now!
I did have a great weekend. I got some cleaning done and read a whole book and had a great time at the sign making party and dinner with my friends.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 27, 2018 9:12:54 GMT -5
Also DS had a birthday party Saturday for a kid at his new school. It was basically the absolute worst place to get to know anyone because there were literally 10 birthday parties going on at once, multiple play areas, and DS was totally overwhelmed. He did play, but just played by himself.
Sunday we role played how to ask to play with a group of kids, how to suggested games to other kids. And then he told me that the kids on the play ground all play four square and he doesn't know how. So then we went outside and we all played 4 square together.
mustardseed2007, He can fix or build about anything. He finished our basement himself including the gas fireplace and the stone wall. Now the level of griping and bitching while he does these things varies. The lawnmower got a kick, and some not appropriate words, while the air conditioning, he was pretty mellow.
mae0111 I was thinking of your DD for part of this party. Thank you for sharing the struggles she had - I don’t think I’d be as ready or attuned without them! Good luck with the poison ivy.
Post by justcheckingin73 on Aug 27, 2018 9:40:07 GMT -5
I took Thursday and Friday off since the kids were back in school but after getting DD off at 6:40 and then taking DS to school at 9 and then picking up at 3, it didn’t feel like a lot of alone time but I’ll take what I can get! It was still nice not having to work and get some errands done.
Saturday DD had an 8 mile “fun” run and I had a dentist appointment so I couldn’t be there. Then DH and I went to Ace Hardware and he was looking at the Big Green Eggs but then one of the associates talked our ear off about the Traeger grills. I was so not interested and hungry and then DH spent the next 1/2 hour on his phone trying to figure out the differences. Meanwhile, I’m woofing down my lunch because I forgot that I had promised to take DD to her friends house. Around 4 we went to a neighbors house for a party and then ended up at our favorite neighbors house for a bit.
Sunday I did my 5 mile run in 100% humidity. The last mile was horrid and I’m looking forward to some cooler weather after today. I finished packing up a huge hutch that my dad built for my grandma 35 years ago. We decided to get rid of it and need to get it out before our kitchen remodel begins in a couple of weeks. DH and DSS put it in the garage and now I need to find someone to take it. It’s so hard to think of getting rid of it because my Dad made it and it was in my grandma’s house for so long but it’s not my style, it’s really big and we could use the extra space.
It was a good weekend. We went to the waterpark on Saturday, and the flooding in the area seems to be under control and the dam has not burst. On Sunday DH spent time rebuilding the fence in our yard, and the kids and I went to my parents' to swim. Now I am back at work, feeling unprepared for the week ahead. My faculty contract started today, and school for DS doesn't start until next week, so this is a week of juggling.
Post by ilovelucyvv on Aug 27, 2018 10:50:38 GMT -5
Today is DD’s first day of K and I am halfway accross the country. I got everything ready for H, gave DD a pep talk this morning, and am planning on calling in a little bit since she only has a half day today. FX it went well!
Vent - the school called to find out why DD was truant. They said she has four unexcused absences because she was out Tuesday through Friday last week and that an excuse note is required within three days of the absence. Since today is her first day back, this confused me, but it also tells me something about the school that they assume unexcused or truant first. They went on to say that they would see what they can do - Then concluded she has three days to produce a note. I’m annoyed as her previous school permitted pics of a handwritten note in email - so I always had a time stamp on submission - and this school doesn’t allow that. I hate the administrative side of parenting because I spend a lot of time overseeing other people who really I should not have to oversee.
DH and I discussed private high school and I think next week I will start touring. The lack of help for DD with her 504 has been scary - and this didn’t make me feel any better. So maybe we save 1K less a month for college that starts in four years....but the way this year has gone, college would not be an option. DD has a 16 in Bio because they had a test over material that wasn’t taught (and the teacher said it wasn’t taught). No one passed. I’m so frustrated.
Vent- I am back to work. I am starting more and more to lean towards getting out of here. The problem is all the other jobs in the field are part time or low pay or I have to commute to the city which I don't really want to increase my commute time by an hour a day. And it is so flexible and easy here for the most part. Just seems like it would be nice to have something new. This is the longest I have been anywhere. Oh and anywhere north of me has higher paying jobs and the traffic is absolutely horrendous. I wouldn't last a week in that traffic. And I think there is something weird going on in the place near me- they fired an employee who had been there 30 years, and it reads like a disability law suit to me. I am sure there is more to it, but yes she was visibly disabled, and everyone knew her and knew that, so that does not bode well for the company.
ETA- I just don't see a career path forward, and I have been backburning it for a long time due to having children and being the default parent.
Post by traveltheworld on Aug 27, 2018 12:54:28 GMT -5
Celebration - DH was home for the weekend and we had a pretty low key weekend.
Vent/frustration - A new position in DH's company opened up so he talked to his boss about applying, and was basically told that because he works remote, there's close to zero chance that they'd promote him. I suppose it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it did. All along, DH's plan was to get his CPA, then get promoted. Now that no longer seems to be an option. So he is bummed. Frankly, I wouldn't mind having him stay in his current job as he gets to work from home and has a lot more flexibility to help out with the kids, but I don't think that's what he wants.
Went to the dr and they gave me prednisone... hopefully it helps, but I'm nervous about taking it. I tend to be sensitive to medications, and typically have to take 1/2 or 1/4 the recommended dose. I took a full dose of Benadryl yesterday, and within 30 mins I was slurring my words and finally just had to go to sleep for a while. But I can't take the itching!!!
DD1 had a play date with another girl from her new school. I did not have a good feeling about it, and it didn't go well. DD1 was mean to DD2, and her friend took DD1's queue and was mean as well. When we got home, DD1 asked me if Santa is real... right in front of DD2. Clearly this came from the play date.
I feel so defeated. And itchy. Itchy and defeated.
mae0111, if it helps Prednisone never made me sleepy or slur words like Benadryl does. Just make sure to taper off the steroid, which I am sure is in the instructions.
Playdates can be hard. I've resorted to lectures and bribery and lots of interventions otherwise the kids just fight.
Post by traveltheworld on Aug 27, 2018 13:33:15 GMT -5
mae0111, kid relationships can be hard. I wouldn't take one play date as being indicative of anything. But I do understand how you feel. DS is mean, or at best, indifferent, towards DD when he has friends around. It makes me sad. I read a lot of books/articles and they all say that as long as the good interactions outnumber the bad ones, the siblings will end up ok. I try to remind myself of that constantly.
waverly - I have heard prednisone can do the opposite of Benadryl. It may send my anxiety into overdrive. I told DH that I expect to sleep again some time around Halloween.
Also, I hear you on feeling stuck at your job. I felt that way many times before leaving. I knew that taking an equivalent position, or a small step up, would mean a drastic change to our way of life. I knew I could make much more $$ elsewhere, but no more working from home. I was already commuting an hour each way 3x per week, I could not add in 2 more days, and put in the extra face time at a new job.
Are you ok with being mommy tracked a bit? Is that OK for now? Is there anything more you could pick up? Like, do you see a hole somewhere that no one wants to plug? Could you come up with a plan for something like that? I was able to do that successfully, and so was DH a few roles ago.
mae0111 , I do like my industry, but the problem is I picked a female orientated social sciences industry who tend to underpay workers and have a lot of part time work at odd hours. I am a manager, so I make more than a lot of the other jobs, so almost any other job I take would be worse hours and less pay. In a way, I am not mommy tracked because of me being a department head which is pretty high in the industry. But while other industries have lots of roles and lots of layers, we are pretty flat like there are some business and federal positions, but mostly the only thing above me is director, and I don't really want to work with budgets, legalities and a board. So I have no where to go but lateral or down.
But in other ways I am mommy tracked because I am responsible for all drop offs and pick ups as DH makes 3 times as much as I do. His job and schedule are not as flexible, and we have no family nearby to watch the kids, so me working odd hours while there is no childcare doesn't make sense. I could cobble together babysitters, but they tend to be inconsistent teenagers and I pay that on top of the childcare hours, so I don't really see the point in taking a lower paying job and paying more in childcare. There are lots of fun opportunities in the city, but it doesn't make sense to add that much time to my commute and then do all the caring for the kids too with no help. DH will help when he can but when he can is entirely unpredictable. I accepted this before having kids, but I really didn't know what I was getting myself into with the whole second shift feeling I have sometimes.
I can plug holes. The problem is my job is boring, so I am always looking to plug holes instead of just being busy with regular stuff and then doing occasional extra. So it leads me to wonder why am I here, when I could be with the kids after school.
I did tell DH that if he gets the 40K raise (which is almost a laughable amount so maybe he won't get it) then I get to go to part time and work only when the kids are in school, but I am sure that is not the awesome all being thing that I have built up in my mind to be so, but I just feel like I am wasting my time at work doing nothing when I have stuff to do at home. At least I am getting paid. As a manager it doesn't make a ton of sense for me to work at home, but it is a possibility on occasion. Thanks for listening.
I'm kind of taking this week off. Worked from home a little today and will need to be in office on Thursday. DD has horse camp from 10-4 this week so makes working a little hard. So I'm painting my dining room and kitchen while I'm home alone. I haven't painted large scale since 2006 and I forgot how much work it is. Can I nap yet?
DH helped out this weekend with some prep and we had 2 different dinner play dates so that was fun.
Post by sandandsea on Aug 27, 2018 17:13:14 GMT -5
The weekend was nice. DH was unexpectedly Home on Sunday so that was nice for all of us. I only worked 3.5 hours and it didn’t interfere with any plans.
Then this morning one of our best staff gave notice. Ugh. It sucks because she’s going to an easier job that pays more now with fewer hours but has less long term upside. I hate that about my career. You really have to be long term focused to want to do what I do and so many really good people just aren’t willing to sacrifice so much for the long term. It makes me question if I’m the crazy one.
Tomorrow is DS2s ENT appointment that has been scheduled 6 month. Hoping for good news.