Totally not surprised people were offended. I guess I thought I could actually have a real discourse here instead of with offending family members/friends in real life who judge me for working. The same family members who tell other family members who have had miscarriages that they had miscarriages because they used to be on BCP. Yeah, really nice judgmental people, I know. But with people like that you can't even have a rational response. I thought I could at least get some type of rational response here (flameful as my comment was) that, yes, some SAHPs who get on their high horse and tell peopel "they chose to raise their kids" might realize one day that their decision isn't the only right decision for their kids or their family.
Criticizing specific douchebags in your life: totally fine (see the OP)
Criticizing an entire group of people, many of whom you've never met: not fine
Yes, your SAH friends/family who criticize your decision to work and who make bad choices for your family suck. But saying all SAHers are that way is just as bad IMO.
And ditto Jenny. Why do we have to see who's the bigger martyr here?
Wow. Ok, guess I didn't realize I couldn't even say "flameful" things on here. I wasn't talking about SAHMs generally, I was talking about the real life ones I actually know and who I actually have first-hand knowledge about their lack of planning. It just seems that it is socially acceptable for people to tell working moms that they are going to regret not staying home but never acceptable to tell SAHMs that they might regret staying at home some day. I know plently of people who have regreted it. It doesn't mean that under different circumstances I wouldn't consider SAH or that I don't respect those who do SAH, its just the truth. That's great to say lets never have this discussion and lets all never ever bring up anything hurtful to the other side, but at least in my "real life" only one side gets affirmed (and it's not my side). I'll save anything else I have that is flameful for a special "flameful post" day and be done with it.
Yes, you made a generalization. You made a blanket statement that "SAHMs are the people who will look back in 10-15 years blah blah blah". There are plenty of SAHPs who looked at their financial situation and found it in their best interest for a parent to stay home. Whether it was because their salary wouldn't cover daycare, or they were in the financial position that they could stay home AND raise well-adjusted kids AND pay for college (if they chose to). Just like there are working parents who HAVE to work and still can't afford college because they have low-wage jobs.
And there is plenty of SAHM bashing to go around. I can refer you to the "what do SAHMs do all day" thread if you want to see the other side.Yes, please stick to the flameful confessions threads. I don't read them anyway.
I didn't realize you were offended by my post. I feel bad now. Honestly that thread was started based off a conversation I had with my SAHM friend who claimed to be always exhausted even though her teenage kids were gone all day. I was truly trying to understand the other side because I couldn't understand what exhausted her. I dont want to dig that all up again but to the OP, what your sister said was absolutely offensive. I hate mommy wars of any kind. We should all be praising each other not knocking each other down.
Totally not surprised people were offended. I guess I thought I could actually have a real discourse here instead of with offending family members/friends in real life who judge me for working. The same family members who tell other family members who have had miscarriages that they had miscarriages because they used to be on BCP. Yeah, really nice judgmental people, I know. But with people like that you can't even have a rational response. I thought I could at least get some type of rational response here (flameful as my comment was) that, yes, some SAHPs who get on their high horse and tell peopel "they chose to raise their kids" might realize one day that their decision isn't the only right decision for their kids or their family.
Criticizing specific douchebags in your life: totally fine (see the OP)
Criticizing an entire group of people, many of whom you've never met: not fine
Yes, your SAH friends/family who criticize your decision to work and who make bad choices for your family suck. But saying all SAHers are that way is just as bad IMO.
And ditto Jenny. Why do we have to see who's the bigger martyr here?
I'm sorry I thought I was being specific when I said "this will be the same person who will tell me ..." down the road. Didn't mean to generalize it. I just wish people IRL I deal with would realize that NEITHER decision is perfect.
Going back to the basic general horrible blanket statement; I equate "I choose to raise my children" to be just about as bad as the statement of "Daddy is babysitting the kid(s)". I mean, really? Since when did dads get relegated to babysitters and non-parent status if mom isn't around?
Going back to the basic general horrible blanket statement; I equate "I choose to raise my children" to be just about as bad as the statement of "Daddy is babysitting the kid(s)". I mean, really? Since when did dads get relegated to babysitters and non-parent status if mom isn't around?
I think so. My DH is a SAHD. So I guess I "babysit" our son on weekends so he can go get other stuff done? That's just silly.
I love working. LOVE IT. I had a feeling I wasn't cut out to SAH, but post-DS it was confirmed. He is 4 months old and I'm working, which is RARE for Canada. I get a lot of judgement, but I often say "he's with his father" when I'm working and that seems to calm people down.
Everyone has different situations that are best for their own family. To each their own