Friday embarrassments, let's share our pathetic moments.

[cleo29]

So, in going through my stuff that was still at my mom's old house, I found a journal from my very early 20s and folks, it was not good. lol I was dating this guy at the time who was not really that great and yet I wanted to make it work so badly. It was incredibly sad and embarrassing that I actually wrote it all down and I am so happy that I found it before anyone else had a chance to read it.

And, I think I always thought of myself as at least somewhat confident and this journal shows I was anything but. I think I even named it my Love Journal.

[litebright]

Oh! Oh! I have one.

I got a last-minute invite from some ladies in my neighborhood to join them for a multi-winery tour two weekends ago. We've lived here for a year now, but this was the first time I've been invited to that kind of GTG so I was really excited to go and get to know them better. They rented a limo and everybody brought breakfast and lunch food to share. We had an hour drive to the first winery.

Guys, it took less than 20 minutes in the limo for me to get carsick -- so badly the driver had to pull over so I could hork up my breakfast by the side of the road. Remember, I barely know any of these women; like, I was lucky if I'd met them at the bus stop and chatted once or twice, I am still learning names. And here I am, puking my guts out in front of them and disrupting the morning, before we even start drinking.

I rode up in front with the driver for the rest of the day so I wouldn't get sick again. Luckily, he was super cool and we had a great time talking, but LOLOLOL. I was fine after the first stop, and I did get to socialize and ultimately had a pretty good day, but OMG. I am going to writhe over this at 3 a.m. for the rest of my life, I think.

ETA: And I couldn't help but think, Clearly, I am just not meant to ever be fancy, if this is what happens when I ride in a limo. 

[cleo29]

Oh no! You poor thing. I am sure they understood, but I feel you. And I am glad that you were able to enjoy the rest of the day.

[Deleted]

I have a Facebook embarrassment.

I was doing what every other red blooded American would do and was facebook stalking other Mom's that are on my kids school's facebook page. I must have accidentally friend-requested one of the Mom's pages I was looking at and that person accepted. When I got the notification, I was mortified. I mean, we have mutual friends, but I've never met or seen this woman before in my life. I'm sure she was equally confused by my request but accepted because of our mutual friends.

[CurlyQ284]

DS woke us up a few times between 1 and 3 and I had to take him back to his room so I'm tired. When my alarm went off I was half asleep when I went down the stairs, I missed a step and fell down the last few stairs. Real smooth! My toes hurt.

[Deleted]

Um, I have one of those journals, too. Gag..

[foodiemom]

Oct 12, 2018 9:08:12 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

So, in going through my stuff that was still at my mom's old house, I found a journal from my very early 20s and folks, it was not good. lol I was dating this guy at the time who was not really that great and yet I wanted to make it work so badly. It was incredibly sad and embarrassing that I actually wrote it all down and I am so happy that I found it before anyone else had a chance to read it.

And, I think I always thought of myself as at least somewhat confident and this journal shows I was anything but. I think I even named it my Love Journal.

Ditto! From the years right after college. I want to burn it. It’s on my ‘to do’ list but I feel I need to read the entire thing first. I was a mess and I don’t really remember it being THAT bad.

[just]

When I was in college, I had a smallish (10-12 students) 3 hour class in an old building that used to be a house. There was one classroom on this floor and a kitchen/lunch area. So the kitchen/lunch area didn't get a ton of traffic beyond whoever was in that classroom. I didn't have any close friends in the class.

At the end of the break, as I was walking back in for the last 1.5 hours, I decided to stop into the kitchen to use the vending machine. It was a vending machine with candy and soda in the same machine.

I put in money and chose a chocolate bar that fell down. I then put money in for a soda and chose the soda. It looked like it wasn't dropping the soda, so I wondered if it had a sensor for the chocolate bar and wouldn't send anything else down while it was there. So I put my hand in to get the chocolate bar but it was in a weird position so I had to put my whole lower arm in.

Then the soda bottle dropped.

The weight of the bottle jammed the heavy flap onto my arm from the elbow and I was stuck.

I tried to pull my arm out, but it wouldn't budge. I had no friends in my class who would notice I wasn't there - they'd presume I left early. I was fairly certain that no one would walk in and find me because everyone in the building was already in my class for the next 1.5 hours - which was a sweet blessing and a curse. My friends were all in classes across campus - but I thought of calling them to come help me out. I also thought about calling the number on the vending machine - but I couldn't imagine having to say what happened.

I sat there for what felt like an hour but was in reality only about 1-2 minute. I finally managed to 'bump' the soda bottle to the side of the flap which released the pressure just enough to pull it out.

And that my friends is how 2.18 people die of vending machines each year.

[oliviapope]

I used to keep a "State of the Union" journal, it was an idea I got from this book series called The Clique I read as a teenager.

I would just write who was "in" and who was "out" once a week.

Hilariously, my current SO is on both sides of the list every other week. I still have it and it cracks me up every time I go through my little memory box.

**this is far from most embarrassing thing ever but I try to keep those locked deep inside lol

[Violet]

Good timing, I have a recent story to share...

I was surprised by my period and ruined a pair of white underwear. I buried them into the kitchen garbage bag in hopes that no one else in my house would see them. I come home from work a few days later and my blood stained underwear are by street sidewalk because a squirrel had dug in the trash can to eat some rotten apples. Who knows how many dogs/people/children walked by my bloody underwear. I now need to move.

[carmenere]

My relationship in high school/freshman year of college was totally cringeworthy. I’ve thrown out every journal, note, picture and keepsake and I’ve scrubbed every trace from my social media, but once in a while something will remind me and I feel so mortified I want to puke.

[skidunks]

We were visiting MIL and FIL and I accidentally left our bedroom door open. We came home from visiting friends and I couldn’t figure out why my underwear was sitting on the bed, until I realized their dog had come in our room, grabbed my dirty underwear and brought it out to chew on it in the living room. Poor in-laws had to rescue my zebra print thong from the dog.

[jlt19]

Oct 12, 2018 9:32:33 GMT -5 @sameoldstory said:

I have a Facebook embarrassment.

I was doing what every other red blooded American would do and was facebook stalking other Mom's that are on my kids school's facebook page. I must have accidentally friend-requested one of the Mom's pages I was looking at and that person accepted. When I got the notification, I was mortified. I mean, we have mutual friends, but I've never met or seen this woman before in my life. I'm sure she was equally confused by my request but accepted because of our mutual friends.

If it makes you feel better, I once did this to an ex-bf that I got a little "hung up on" about in college. So, you know, the only rational thing to do years later was to stalk his FB. And accidentally friend request him. I then immediately cancelled the request and blocked him. 

[jlt19]

Oct 12, 2018 9:45:01 GMT -5 Violet said:

Good timing, I have a recent story to share...

I was surprised by my period and ruined a pair of white underwear. I buried them into the kitchen garbage bag in hopes that no one else in my house would see them. I come home from work a few days later and my blood stained underwear are by street sidewalk because a squirrel had dug in the trash can to eat some rotten apples. Who knows how many dogs/people/children walked by my bloody underwear. I now need to move.

That's pretty bad. Sorry you have to fake your own death. 

One time I picked DS up from daycare and the teacher asked to speak to me privately. She gave me an envelope with one of my thongs and told me it must have gotten stuck to DS's blanket. Him and his friends were throwing it around at nap time. Thankfully they were clean. 

[cleo29]

I am liking in solidarity. I have more embarrassing stories to share, but I don't want to unleash them all at once. lol

[mel]

Oct 12, 2018 9:32:33 GMT -5 @sameoldstory said:

I have a Facebook embarrassment.

I was doing what every other red blooded American would do and was facebook stalking other Mom's that are on my kids school's facebook page. I must have accidentally friend-requested one of the Mom's pages I was looking at and that person accepted. When I got the notification, I was mortified. I mean, we have mutual friends, but I've never met or seen this woman before in my life. I'm sure she was equally confused by my request but accepted because of our mutual friends.

I did something kind of similar on Instagram. I was stalking another mom's (that I only know who she is, but don't know personally) page and I accidentally liked one of her photos. I died a thousand deaths.

[cleo29]

Oct 12, 2018 9:35:20 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

DS woke us up a few times between 1 and 3 and I had to take him back to his room so I'm tired. When my alarm went off I was half asleep when I went down the stairs, I missed a step and fell down the last few stairs. Real smooth! My toes hurt.

My friend and I were at a concert at the Beacon Theater in NYC in the top level and the step were really steep and shallow. I had traversed them several times perfectly fine. Then, as we were leaving, I missed a step and fell straight down the whole thing. IF not for the timely usher who generously half caught/broke my fall, I would have most likely wound up with a broken arm or wrist and possibly teeth. It was so bad. My friend said I did not make a peep, just fell silently. In her words, "I thought you were going to catch yourself there for a moment, but nope, you just kept falling." lol Stairs... evil things.

[mel]

I feel so bad laughing at some of these, but I can't help myself.

[CurlyQ284]

Oct 12, 2018 10:05:12 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Oct 12, 2018 9:35:20 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

DS woke us up a few times between 1 and 3 and I had to take him back to his room so I'm tired. When my alarm went off I was half asleep when I went down the stairs, I missed a step and fell down the last few stairs. Real smooth! My toes hurt.

My friend and I were at a concert at the Beacon Theater in NYC in the top level and the step were really steep and shallow. I had traversed them several times perfectly fine. Then, as we were leaving, I missed a step and fell straight down the whole thing. IF not for the timely usher who generously half caught/broke my fall, I would have most likely wound up with a broken arm or wrist and possibly teeth. It was so bad. My friend said I did not make a peep, just fell silently. In her words, "I thought you were going to catch yourself there for a moment, but nope, you just kept falling." lol Stairs... evil things.

Ouch that sounds awful!
Those weird steep stairs at venues scare me, they seem so dangerous. I'm glad you're ok!

[glitzy07]

cleo29 OMG. The steep stairs at stadiums and theatres terrify me. The last time I went to a football stadium I found myself looking at the upper bowl seats and wondering how more drunk football fans don't fall down them and die untimely deaths.

[imojoebunny]

I was watching a new comedy show with closed captioning the other day. DD had a new friend over and they were playing in another part of the house. His mom came to pick him up, my first time meeting her. I paused the show when she knocked. She comes in and we are talking, when I notice that the TV, which is large and prominent in the family room, has the closed caption reading, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, that bitch cunt."

I hope she didn't notice before I could turn the TV off.

[breebug]

I recently sat second chair in a jury trial on a personal injury case. We were about to break for lunch and opposing counsel was wrapping up questioning a witness. I slyly pulled out my cell phone and held it in my lap under the table, wanting to find a podcast to listen to during the lunch break.

You know how you can click on "details" under the episode title and it will take you to a description of the episode? Well I missed the "details" button and clicked on the episode title by mistake, causing the podcast to immediately start playing in open court.

It was an episode of True Crime Garage, and the opening segment was an ad for Madison Reed haircolor. "Wanna look GOOD, wanna feel GREAT?" rang out across the courtroom right as the witness paused to answer a question.

I could have died.

[lurkydoodle]

I am squirming with fremdschämen but I also can't look away!

[isabel]

Oct 12, 2018 9:55:14 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Oct 12, 2018 9:45:01 GMT -5 Violet said:

One time I picked DS up from daycare and the teacher asked to speak to me privately. She gave me an envelope with one of my thongs and told me it must have gotten stuck to DS's blanket. Him and his friends were throwing it around at nap time. Thankfully they were clean. 

This has yet to happen to me, but I feel confident it will. I feel like H and I are constantly finding my underwear inside of our kids' shirt sleeves and pants. Damn static cling!

[1confused1]

We just moved and I also found my old journals from my senior year of college. I was a hot mess! I need to burn those in the fire pit so no one else reads them!

[fivechickens]

All of my 20’s, albeit fun, was an embarrassment.

[Leeham Rimes]

Oct 12, 2018 9:32:33 GMT -5 @sameoldstory said:

I have a Facebook embarrassment.

I was doing what every other red blooded American would do and was facebook stalking other Mom's that are on my kids school's facebook page. I must have accidentally friend-requested one of the Mom's pages I was looking at and that person accepted. When I got the notification, I was mortified. I mean, we have mutual friends, but I've never met or seen this woman before in my life. I'm sure she was equally confused by my request but accepted because of our mutual friends.

people have done this to me and I’m all ooooooh I know what you were doing!!! Lol.

[Leeham Rimes]

Oct 12, 2018 10:30:24 GMT -5 breebug said:

I recently sat second chair in a jury trial on a personal injury case. We were about to break for lunch and opposing counsel was wrapping up questioning a witness. I slyly pulled out my cell phone and held it in my lap under the table, wanting to find a podcast to listen to during the lunch break.

You know how you can click on "details" under the episode title and it will take you to a description of the episode? Well I missed the "details" button and clicked on the episode title by mistake, causing the podcast to immediately start playing in open court.

It was an episode of True Crime Garage, and the opening segment was an ad for Madison Reed haircolor. "Wanna look GOOD, wanna feel GREAT?" rang out across the courtroom right as the witness paused to answer a question.

I could have died.

I wonder if the court reporter has to transcribe that. LOL!!

[Leeham Rimes]

One day I was dropping Wesley off at preschool and for some reason I was wearing a fancy dress a dad kept motioning to me and I kept waving hello. And then he said “no, you have stickers all over your rear end”

/dead

[nessness]

In college I was asked to give a speech about a program I was involved in for my college's board of trustees and a bunch of other important people. I was really nervous, since I'm not a confident speaker, but I gave my speech and was pretty pleased with how it went. Everyone applauded, and I started walking off the stage...and tripped and fell off headfirst.