Week of 11/26

[knx9211]

Nov 30, 2018 11:42:00 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

knx9211, Have they said why they froze them as 2PNs? I'm confused as to why they didn't just grow them out at the time.

Personally, I would probably do option 3 especially because you have a backup blast in case they don't survive so you wouldn't need to cancel a cycle regardless. I'd probably only test if I had several that looked hopeful after transferring 1.

Um. Same. Honestly it was a tough day. My retrieval didn’t go as planned. It appeared as though I managed to ovulate through the meds. They were able to get those 4 from one side. They just froze them. I was so upset and out of it that I didn’t even ask questions. My current doctor can’t really explain why the prior doctor did it. So I would “have something” essentially? I don’t know. I’m now irritated by it but what can you do.

Thank you for your input!! I don’t know anything about PGD. I was going to ask doctor more next week, but I didn’t know how much it created a risk to the embryo.

[icedcoffee]

knx9211, I'm sorry. That's really frustrating.

[cactuscookie]

Yeesh, Mushe, does she know your full history? Because the combination of IF and RPL is a special sort of hell that you can't - and shouldn't try to - relate to unless you've been through it yourself. If she thinks your situations are similar, she's delusional. Maybe it bothers you because in a way, it minimizes what you've been through.

Really, don't feel bad blocking her for a while if it helps. She won't know either way, and there's nothing wrong with protecting yourself. You've got enough to deal with without that BS.

[shauni27]

knx9211, I cannot remember--is cost an issue here? Because I personally take that into consideration as well. Not necesarilly which is the cheapest, almost the opposite--"if we do the priciest option NOW to give us the best results, then we will not have to do another retrieval down the road" kind of thing, you know?

[knx9211]

Nov 30, 2018 12:40:58 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

knx9211, I cannot remember--is cost an issue here? Because I personally take that into consideration as well. Not necesarilly which is the cheapest, almost the opposite--"if we do the priciest option NOW to give us the best results, then we will not have to do another retrieval down the road" kind of thing, you know?

Not an issue, we’re very fortunate that my parents have helped us out. I’d LOVE to avoid another retrieval, although I’m willing to do it if necessary (please NO)

[pinkpeony08]

Ugh so sorry Mushe. I would also hide her from my feed for awhile. People can be so insensitive. My co-worker (who I am really not close with but knew about the loss) made a point of walking Across campus to tell me in person. A week after my 15 week loss. And then had the nerve to tell me how easy everything has been for her. She is young and I’m not sure she really got it. Ugh.

[shauni27]

Nov 30, 2018 12:43:31 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Nov 30, 2018 12:40:58 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

knx9211 , I cannot remember--is cost an issue here? Because I personally take that into consideration as well. Not necesarilly which is the cheapest, almost the opposite--"if we do the priciest option NOW to give us the best results, then we will not have to do another retrieval down the road" kind of thing, you know?

Not an issue, we’re very fortunate that my parents have helped us out. I’d LOVE to avoid another retrieval, although I’m willing to do it if necessary (please NO)

Then I really think option 3 is your best bet. It is kind of like combining steps 1 and 2!

[woowoo]

knx9211, I agree that Option 3 is your best bet as well. I'm really sorry you're having to make this decision.

[Mushe]

Good lord, pinkpeony08! What is wrong with people?

cactuscookie, yup, she knows, but may not fully understand the lengths we went to. I shared way more here than with anyone else.

I REALLY appreciate you all validating that I’m not being a crazy person here. I’m really trying to protect my heart. I’ve hidden people before when it was too much in the heat of loss, but her most egregious posts are always in a group, so I’ve got to just scroll by.

[Mushe]

knx9211, I really like your option 3 idea. Avoiding another retrieval would be amazing, and you’d be able to see once and for all what you have from the 2PNs.

[thoseareradishes]

Hmm, knx9211, that's a tough one. I think they are all reasonable options. If PGS is really important, I'd go with 2, otherwise probably 3.

Hug Mushe. She needs to get some perspective.

[konapoppy]

Omg Mushe. She would drive me crazy. I would hide her and not look back. You have been through too much to put up with that nonsense.

[seeyalater52]

I know I don’t go here but I was lurking to see your updates knx9211. I’m so sorry. If I were you I’d choose option 3.

Mushe I would be livid about your friend. In fact, that is almost to the letter exactly what my younger sister did to me (down to the getting clomid after 3 months of trying and having quick success with it) and she compares her situation to mine all the time as an excuse why her pregnancy shouldn’t be hard for me. Because they struggled “just like us.” And if we had a baby before them they would have been happy for us. Except we started trying two years before they did....and they don’t have infertility and didn’t have to wait at all before becoming pregnant, have never had a loss, etc. The comparison feels very unfair.

I can’t cut her out completely because she’s my only sister and before all this we used to be close but I wish I could and of she was just a friend there’s no chance I’d tolerate it.

[King26]

Nov 30, 2018 11:42:00 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

knx9211, Have they said why they froze them as 2PNs? I'm confused as to why they didn't just grow them out at the time.

Personally, I would probably do option 3 especially because you have a backup blast in case they don't survive so you wouldn't need to cancel a cycle regardless. I'd probably only test if I had several that looked hopeful after transferring 1.

This. I was firm about not testing unless I had 4 blasts because otherwise i was transferring 2 anyhow and i didnt want just 1 to be tested. I think being handled as little as possibke is good policy.

[Mushe]

Holy cow, seeyalater52. I’m so sorry! I cannot fathom people who are so self involved.

[loira]

Mushe, I'm sorry. You are completely reasonable. I had real trouble making mum friends after A was born for exactly this reason. I just felt I couldn't relate to anyone, and I didn't want to hear about their birth stories or feel judged about my formula fed baby, or listen to the recount their very minor pregnancy worries (which I'm sure were major to them, but man, I just could not sympathise). I didn't want to go to groups or anything because I didn't want to hear the twittering of "oh, when are you thinking about having a second, hehehe?" Because my response was somewhere between "this is my second" and "are you fucking kidding me, do you know what I had to do to get this one? you can fuck right the fuck off." Which of course, would have been extremely rude, so was said in my head.

My only mum friends are those who were previously my friends throughout this whole ordeal and happen to also have children. And you guys.