Week of 11/26

[woowoo]

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? 
Have you decorated for Christmas/holidays yet?
What else is happening this week?

[pinkpeony08]

Thanks for getting this started! I had a great Thanksgiving with my parents and my brother and his family. The kids all adore "cousin time." Now I'm tired from my vacation, ha. I had "use it or lose it" vacation that I took for today, so at least I didn't have to run off to work this AM, though I do have a lot to get done.

No decorating yet, though we plan to get our Christmas tree and decorate this weekend. We were supposed to get a fair amount of snow last night, but instead it's just a little.

I have an OB appointment today - weekly at my request for the next few weeks. Grateful to be going in to check in toady and be sure this baby is still doing ok. I have been sure something is wrong a few times just because of the history, but I'm hoping my exhaustion today is a good sign it's ok. I'm hoping to hide this from kids a few more weeks, but that might get a bit trickier because I'm starting to show. My daughter really struggled when I had the 15 week loss that she knew about (the others we didn't tell her) - she had somatic pains for months afterward. Hoping to wait as long as we can to say something to her to avoid her having to go through the loss too if possible.

woowoo - you have to answer your own questions.

[woowoo]

pinkpeony08, sorry! I was going to then got distracted with work. Going back after long holiday weekend is always so hard!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. We told DH's extended family on Thanksgiving and they were all so happy for us. It's a little scary as I'm just past 12 weeks this week, but wanted our chance to share our joy. No one there would be struggling with infertility or anything (it's a small family and they are all older), otherwise we wouldn't have announced on a holiday like that.

We are going to announce on social media this week and I do have a lot of guilt over it. I know there are a lot of people out there struggling, but my DH has waited years to be able to share this and I don't want my guilt to take away from his desire to share and celebrate. There really isn't a right answer here, so we are sharing an announcement that will reference how long we've waited for this. I do have one cousin who just miscarried a month ago and I already gave her a call to discuss so she could unfriend me or block me for a few weeks if she felt it necessary.

We did decide to double down on our genetically tested embryo and do NIPT testing and we should have that back this week. I have our NT scan/12 week ultrasound and OB apt tomorrow and I'm weirdly not nervous, just excited to see our little guy again. I will be so blindsided if something is wrong.

And yes, we are fully decorated for Christmas. It's my favorite holiday and I don't decorate for anything else throughout the year. I go all out for Christmas.

[pinkpeony08]

woowoo how fun to be able to share the news in person! Our family knows, but we didn’t share with my sister in law’s family (where we were for thanksgiving dinner).

Social media announcements are hard. I always appreciate with people post with something implying it being a long road to get here, makes me happy for them and less annoyed (though not sure that’s the right word). That’s really kind of you to give a heads up to those you know will need it.

I hope your 12 week us goes well! Odds are certainly very much in your favor that all will be great!

We get our nipt test results back this week. I’ll ask my ob to check my chart to see if they are in there when we are at our appointment, though I forgot to ask genetic counseling if the time frame is delayed because of the holiday.

[cactuscookie]

The long weekend was fun, but so busy! My brother visited, and he usually doesn't for Thanksgiving, so we made a point to spend a lot of time with him. That meant lots of big family events with my sister's three boys, and it just gets really loud and tiring. There was also a tiny bit of family drama. I was looking forward to getting back to normal boring life today, but my brother's flight home got canceled, so he's here for one more day.

We did decorate for Christmas. We don't go all out at all though, just a tree and a few decorations.

[woowoo]

Nov 26, 2018 10:26:29 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

Social media announcements are hard. I always appreciate with people post with something implying it being a long road to get here, makes me happy for them and less annoyed (though not sure that’s the right word). That’s really kind of you to give a heads up to those you know will need it.

I think annoyed/frustrated/sad are all words that describe how I've felt before....which is why I've struggle doing one at all.   Not sure if we'll list it as our "rainbow baby" or not....does this make it less annoying or more annoying? 

[pinkpeony08]

I tend to appreciate rainbow baby both in the sense of makes me feel happy for them that they also didn’t have an easy road. It also makes me think, “it wasn’t easy for them either, but maybe I’ll get there too!” But I don’t think even rainbow baby wording for sure, even just “after sevral years and a very long road, we are thrilled to announce we are expecting” gives a different vibe than simply “we’re pregnant.” Excited for you to be able to share your news and get all the love from family and friends!

[woowoo]

pinkpeony08, thanks for the support!

[cactuscookie]

I always remember this blog entry I read when I was in the thick of things. It was basically a pregnancy announcement with a brief reference to how getting pregnant wasn't easy and took a long a time. That was enough to reduce my resentment/envy at another pregnancy announcement.

However, TTTC is also deeply personal and not something you need to feel obligated to share if you don't want to. I didn't. I just don't cover my FB page in pregnancy- and kid-related posts, and I certainly never complain about pregnancy/kids there.

[ivy]

Announcements are always hard, woowoo. You want to share your excitement, but at the end of the day you can't control how other people will react no matter how you word it. I think reaching out to your cousin first was the right thing to do.

Our Thanksgiving was exhausting. I'm still recovering from hosting, and after dinner at our house on Thursday, we had 2 more Thanksgiving meals to do over the weekend (extended family and my family). It's too much. But we did decorate for Christmas over the weekend, and DD was beside herself with excitement. Girl loves a good holiday! Especially when decorations are involved. She's just getting over Halloween stuff being taken down. She's in for a treat when all the lights in the neighborhood are up.

[knx9211]

Had my beta today. It’s not good. They look for over 100. Mine was 30. No way it’d be that low with positive tests since last Wednesday if it was progressing. My wondfo looked lighter today. I’m going back in Wednesday but have no hope. We’re devastated.

[shauni27]

woowoo, I understand your hesitation. It is scary to put it out there, you don't want to "hurt" anyone's feelings, but you also want to share your exciting news! For me, like others on here, I posted a legit pregnancy announcement at 13 weeks and stated "after years of trying and thousands of dollars in treatments..." unfortunately, after that we had a second tri loss and I made that public too. From there, I was always VERY open about loss and infertility in social media and real life.

When we got pregnant the second time I never made an official announcement. I just was really pregnant and it started to show in pictures, lol. At that point the entire world knew about our struggles so there was no need to say anything.

[shauni27]

knx9211, friend. I am so, so sorry.

[woowoo]

Nov 26, 2018 12:10:15 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

woowoo , I understand your hesitation. It is scary to put it out there, you don't want to "hurt" anyone's feelings, but you also want to share your exciting news! For me, like others on here, I posted a legit pregnancy announcement at 13 weeks and stated "after years of trying and thousands of dollars in treatments..." unfortunately, after that we had a second tri loss and I made that public too. From there, I was always VERY open about loss and infertility in social media and real life.

When we got pregnant the second time I never made an official announcement. I just was really pregnant and it started to show in pictures, lol. At that point the entire world knew about our struggles so there was no need to say anything.

Thank you for sharing.  Do you regret announcing the first time?
I am fearful of 2nd trimester loss (who isn't) but I'm not sure that fear will stop us. That regret will be minimal compared to the pain of that loss given this is our last shot. 

[cactuscookie]

Oh knx9211. I'm so sorry.

[shauni27]

Nov 26, 2018 12:29:37 GMT -5 woowoo said:

Nov 26, 2018 12:10:15 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

woowoo , I understand your hesitation. It is scary to put it out there, you don't want to "hurt" anyone's feelings, but you also want to share your exciting news! For me, like others on here, I posted a legit pregnancy announcement at 13 weeks and stated "after years of trying and thousands of dollars in treatments..." unfortunately, after that we had a second tri loss and I made that public too. From there, I was always VERY open about loss and infertility in social media and real life.

When we got pregnant the second time I never made an official announcement. I just was really pregnant and it started to show in pictures, lol. At that point the entire world knew about our struggles so there was no need to say anything.

Thank you for sharing.  Do you regret announcing the first time?
I am fearful of 2nd trimester loss (who isn't) but I'm not sure that fear will stop us. That regret will be minimal compared to the pain of that loss given this is our last shot. 

Sure, it is easy for me to say 'I wish I had not posted that' but really, that was so stupid to think about compared to the actual pain I felt in my heart. Do I regret it? No. It was the way I began to open up about my infertility and then when I did have a loss, it opened up so many other conversations with other women and couples who went through similar issues. Loss is awful. Infertility is awful. Going through both is almost unbearable. But it helped me to heal having so many people come out of the woodwork to share the grief with, you know?

[pinkpeony08]

Nov 26, 2018 12:06:04 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Had my beta today. It’s not good. They look for over 100. Mine was 30. No way it’d be that low with positive tests since last Wednesday if it was progressing. My wondfo looked lighter today. I’m going back in Wednesday but have no hope. We’re devastated.

I’m so very sorry. I found an online course for miscarriage from meaghan Schultz that I found extremely helpful, if you are looking for extra support.

[icedcoffee]

I am so sorry knx9211. Hugs to you and your H.

[icedcoffee]

woowoo, you are so kind and thoughtful. Seriously. After the road you've been down I think you should do an announcement if you want to. I think giving your cousin the heads up was SOOOO kind. I actually teared up reading that because of my experience with my SIL not being so thoughtful last week.

I think referencing that it was a long and hard road is a nice touch, but certainly not necessary if you don't want to get into details. There is a huge difference between a simple announcement and live tweeting every moment of your pregnancy on social media. I'm glad you got to tell your H's family this weekend.

[ivy]

Big, big hugs knx9211. I went through something similar this year, and it was a lot tougher to process than I expected it would be. Sending you lots of good thoughts, and please take care of yourself.

[pinkpeony08]

Just updating after my appointment. All still good- quick ultrasound shows a heartbeat. Whew. I go back next week. My Materneti21 came back as well with all being normal. We didn't want to know the sex. But my OB laughed and said the genetic counselor wrote in big letters we don't want to know the sex, then wrote it like a million times all over my chart.

Super random question. Those who were on prometrium. What color was the capsule? My new prescription is red pills. Seriously, who wants to have any pink or red discharge, especially when pregnant?! My prior fill at a different pharmacy was cream colored capsules.

[scm1011]

(((( knx9211 )))) I'm so sorry

[oneslybookworm]

knx9211, honey, I’m so sorry. Huge huge hugs.

[oneslybookworm]

Oy...thanksgiving, where to begin. Well, for starters, we didn’t go to CT as planned. Sunday evening roller-coastered with both G and J getting sick, and my back being more painful than anything I’ve ever felt. The thought of two flights and a drive to the airport was more than I could stomach, so we cancelled. I basically spent all week on a mix of muscle relaxers and pain meds. It’s a little better now, but still not “good.” The MRI came back clean, so it wasn’t a slipped disc like the doctor worried about. Thankfully, I start PT on Wednesday. My half marathon training has taken a back seat until I can actually move properly again.


As for G...is there a point when my sweet baby boy will return to me, or will I be stuck with this terror child for life?! He still isn’t talking much and the frustration tantrums are PHENOMENAL. Like, full on scream fests. Please tell me this ends soon? J is nearly ready to go back to work, he’s so over it.

[scm1011]

oneslybookworm, I found the 14-18ish months to be THE WORST. C was also a bit speech delayed and he would get SO frustrated with his inability to express his wants. Do you guys sign at all? That helped us a bit (milk, more, and all done especially). Hang in there, it gets better.

[thoseareradishes]

Hi! Thanksgiving was so much better this year (last year E screamed the entire time). She didn't eat a ton at dinner but tried a little of everything and I'm pretty sure she ate more than her cousins combined. We got a small fake tree to put in the main living room so we put that up, but our big tree won't go up for a couple of more weeks.

Naps have been a bit of a cluster lately. I don't know if her schedule is off, or she's still adjusting to one nap, but she often wakes up an hour after I put her down. Today she only took an hour nap which is half what she needs. She was so tired that she asked to take her bath early and went to bed before 7. Poor girly.

[thoseareradishes]

I'm so sorry knx9211.

woowoo, don't let IF take the joy from your pregnancy. Post an announcement if you want!

oneslybookworm, we sign with E. We do more, all done, open, water, my turn, read, wash (she made this one up herself), thank you, and help, which is the one she uses the most.

[oneslybookworm]

Nov 26, 2018 19:30:44 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

oneslybookworm, we sign with E. We do more, all done, open, water, my turn, read, wash (she made this one up herself), thank you, and help, which is the one she uses the most.

We tried to sign with G, but he never really picked it up. We keep trying but he doesn’t seem interested

[oneslybookworm]

Nov 26, 2018 18:33:49 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

oneslybookworm, I found the 14-18ish months to be THE WORST. C was also a bit speech delayed and he would get SO frustrated with his inability to express his wants. Do you guys sign at all? That helped us a bit (milk, more, and all done especially). Hang in there, it gets better.

We’ve tried, but so far no luck. I keep telling myself it’ll get better, it’s just because he was a preemie and might be slow to talk, etc. ugh.

[pandora89]

((knx9211)) I am so sorry