Post by supertrooper1 on Apr 11, 2019 12:52:31 GMT -5
My vacation with STBXH was...interesting. For the most part it went well and we all had a good time. The first couple of days he wouldn't STFU and just talked my ear off about random crap IDGAF about. We had a couple of minor fights. By Thursday he was asking to get back together. I said no. I'm much too happy away from him and the week with him just reminded me about all of the things I couldn't live with anymore.
I went out for drinks last night with someone I met on POF. So far so good and we have a dinner date planned for Saturday.
DDOT: I got my first taste of territorial coworkers today. We are all assigned clients, but if someone is out of the office, they have other reps fill in for them. A client got my name a couple of weeks ago and emailed me a problem to work on yesterday. I answered it, but their rep found out that I did it and flipped her shit. I had no idea she was their rep and thought it was just a good chance for me to learn something new. Plus, I did her work for her. It's going to take some time to figure out the inner politics of my new position, especially since all but 2 work remotely from me.
supertrooper1, you deserve a medal for going through all of that.
Twerks- I am sure you all heard by now- not picked for Grand Jury. Still such a relief. DH is starting new job on Monday. He kept old job and is going on leave for at least a week to make sure new job is not a $%^& show. But it's not private equity, and it is a public company, and can commute via train rather than his 1.5 hour commute by car when he was at his other public company.
New position at work is coming along. I am starting to get a little bit more comfortable with the content. Made my first mistake as a manager today- simple verbiage, but I am kicking myself. I made a log, so I can try to keep it to the absolute minimum. I might sign up for training if I see something come across. I've been saying no to everything in case I got picked for jury duty.
DDOT- I was excited to read a book last night, but it turned out a bit weird with ghosts and possessions, and then I dreamed DD was possessed last night which was super weird and scary. Luckily I woke up and then fell right back asleep with normal dreams after that.
TWERK: I think I had mentioned dealing with custody issues. Still lingering, still a disaster. Summer is going to get even messier with summer camp schedules. Basically, ExH's new work schedule doesn't allow him to pick up the kids on time. So I have to pick them up, feed them dinner, take care of them, then he swings by to grab them and put them to bed. But he refuses to change the custody schedule, he wants to keep his 50/50, even though he literally won't be caring for them. There's not even a financial benefit to this, he doesn't get child support or alimony from me. It's infuriating and not a good set up for young kids.
Twerk - DS is still coughing, but getting better with the steroids I, not his father, took him to the doctor for. I am still barely speaking to DH, but he doesn't really notice since he gets home at 7:30, works out, watches Sportscenter and goes to bed. I am out of town a lot next week, which is much needed.
I chased 3 dogs out of my yard last night, the neighbors yard, yelled at the dogs 10 ft from their house, shined my flashlight at their house, and made DH txt him to put his dogs up.
Random - I get an email that there is training for a new program 4 days in May. If staff are interested in working in the program, they can sign up. That is not how it works? We all have several programs. To staff this, it is just who randomly signs up? If they sign up for this, what are they not going to do? This is from "Senior Management"?
Post by covergirl82 on Apr 11, 2019 15:05:02 GMT -5
TWERK - DH should hear back tomorrow if he is offered the job for which he has been interviewing. He is leaning toward taking it, as long as they give him a reasonable pay offer.
New TWERK - DH and I started discussing camping, and that we have less availability to go camping now that the kids are more involved in sports and activities. So we talked about buying a piece of land as a permanent camp site and also for him and DS to go hunting, and something to give the kids someday as an inheritance. We happened to find a great piece of property (a little under 1.5 hours away), close to where my family (a few generations back) is from, and about 15 minutes from my parents' cottage, and close to beaches and fun activities. It has woods, a small creek, and tillable land. There were visible deer paths (and poop too), so we know it would be good for hunting. We are working to get a HELOC and then we'll make an offer. By leaving the camper up there most of the time, it should be easier to go up there more often and use it.
TWERK: I think I had mentioned dealing with custody issues. Still lingering, still a disaster. Summer is going to get even messier with summer camp schedules. Basically, ExH's new work schedule doesn't allow him to pick up the kids on time. So I have to pick them up, feed them dinner, take care of them, then he swings by to grab them and put them to bed. But he refuses to change the custody schedule, he wants to keep his 50/50, even though he literally won't be caring for them. There's not even a financial benefit to this, he doesn't get child support or alimony from me. It's infuriating and not a good set up for young kids.
TWERK: I think I had mentioned dealing with custody issues. Still lingering, still a disaster. Summer is going to get even messier with summer camp schedules. Basically, ExH's new work schedule doesn't allow him to pick up the kids on time. So I have to pick them up, feed them dinner, take care of them, then he swings by to grab them and put them to bed. But he refuses to change the custody schedule, he wants to keep his 50/50, even though he literally won't be caring for them. There's not even a financial benefit to this, he doesn't get child support or alimony from me. It's infuriating and not a good set up for young kids.
I don't get this either. I also wouldn't want my kids being hauled off to dad's house at bedtime each night during his week because he can't get them from camp. If their is no financial benefit then he needs to do what is best for his kids and redo custody.
twinmomma, its probably so he doesn't have to to pay child support to you, or to give him the true benefit of the doubt; he doesn't want to become a weekend dad.
DDOT: I’m feeling frumpy. My hair sticks up 2-3 inches in weird places, I’m gaining weight, and all my clothes are old and worn. I’ve tried taking some selfies at tourist landmarks here and just feel.. yucky. (I also hate selfies.)
Honestly, I feel like I’m becoming my mother. And I like my mom, but I don’t want to be her or like her in these ways.
xctsclrx, There's no world where financially a judge would make him pay me. I make way more than him. Like, well above double. I think it's the weekend dad thing, but he is constantly asking for a babysitter or swapping days, so it's not like he's even all in when he does have them. It's maddening.
twinmomma - hopefully he gets tired of it and over time it shifts. We started where you are - Middle was an infant and the schedule was idiotic - but as the kids grew it became impossible for him to keep up. Picking up cranky kids was painful for everyone. Now we just do whatever makes sense for the kids.
Passive aggressive possibly and not my usual style with custody, but if the girls have an activity one of those evenings it would either mean he has to pick them up at the end or leave them with you. One less day a week of dealing with him may be worth a gymnastics class or something.
2chatter, I really hope he starts to come to his senses on how much it's going to hurt the kids. He seems convinced that only seeing him every other weekend is more damaging than the confusion of this new schedule. I completely disagree.
In time he will figure out a middle ground. We did things like “Wednesday night ice cream” where he would pick them up thirty minutes before bedtime and grab ice cream and they were in bed thirty minutes late. It kept them on a routine and schedule without him totally missing out — the going back and forth to sleep part was sucky, because he didn’t enforce rules or bedtime so I would have cranky kids for daaaayyyyssss. I think it took him having them for a couple of days that they were trainwrecks for him to understand this, and that took time. Keep in mind DD went to bed at 6pm latest during this time....she needed 13-15 hours of sleep, it was crazy.
My mom is here - out of rehab and spent the night last night. The nanny was here when she arrived, a friend stopped by, DD had a friend stay for dinner, oldest and I took a walk ... it was kind of a chaotic evening for her I think but we leave for her doctor soon and then she will go home - so that’s super exciting!!
Tomorrow I will take her to the grocery store. So back to “extra” errands and seeing her 3-5 times a week. It’s been nice just being home for the last few weeks. I am a horrible person for saying that....
2chatter, you are not a bad person for saying that. You needed a slower pass for a little bit even if it was extra stressful dealing with the rehab people. Hope you find your rhythm soon.
DDOT: Last night DH asks if I will help him figure out measurements for this cabinet he is building. Person he is building it for now wants him to add doors. I got the dog wounded up so he took her for a walk and I got 30 minutes of quiet and then snuck off to bed as soon as he got home. No way I had the mental workings available to draw him plans or check his math. DD told DH that he needed to drop her off at open gym and I could work late and then pick her up from the gym. DD also told me that I can't leave her home this weekend. She doesn't want to be stuck either being alone or doing woodworking stuff and would rather help do office stuff or make up her own projects to do.
also rec'd an email from my employee who is deployed. he applied for a different position at another agency and said they might call me for a reference. I was not expecting this ....
Post by covergirl82 on Apr 12, 2019 21:13:31 GMT -5
TWERK update - DH never heard back today from the recruiter or hiring leader, so...we're thinking they went with the other candidate. Either way, it's disappointing the recruiter didn't reach out to him to at least say the leader is still deciding or whatever else to buy time until they tell him.
TWERK: DD told me yesterday they tested her for TAG this week. She said she missed recess, music, small group reading, and the last little bit of morning work. If I remember right that is most of her morning. The lady doing the testing wanted her to do triple digit multiplication. DD told her she didn't know how to do that and she wasn't supposed to even be multiplying. They also did shape recognition, lots of reading comprehension stuff, and just kind of chatted. Hoping for some news next week.
Post by covergirl82 on Apr 15, 2019 14:35:13 GMT -5
Update on DH: Sorry, I couldn't wait for this weeks TWERKs. He called a little while ago to let me know that he was offered the job, and they offered him the salary he wanted (although it is about a 10% pay cut, so that's kind of a bummer). He's pretty excited about it, especially since it's the first job he's actively pursued in a while. (He has been with his current company for almost 13 years.)
DDOT - I rearranged the entire downstairs. The playroom yielded a ton of junk. I love how functional the space is now - so relieved.
We will have our first ever garage sale on Saturday as part of our neighborhood garage sale. Can anyone with experience tell me any of the following? 1) how much change do we need? 2) what time should we really start? 3) what time do things really die down? 4) how do you know how to price things like a giant desk or a full size sleigh bed?
DDOT - I rearranged the entire downstairs. The playroom yielded a ton of junk. I love how functional the space is now - so relieved.
We will have our first ever garage sale on Saturday as part of our neighborhood garage sale. Can anyone with experience tell me any of the following? 1) how much change do we need? 2) what time should we really start? 3) what time do things really die down? 4) how do you know how to price things like a giant desk or a full size sleigh bed?
We never made that much money, like $100 for the day because it was mostly cheap junk. So I would say $200 change but probably we had less, if you are selling more and better items maybe more money than that.
There are professional garage sale people who get there early- like you post 9 am and they are there at 8:30. I would say 9. We usually did 9-5 or 9-4. I would sometimes drive around and tell other people who were having garage sales, and they would send people my way and vice versa. I think it probably dies down around 3-5. I guess you could look online and see what other people are selling them for. If they are hauling them away they are kind of doing you a favor, so I tend to price lower just to get rid of things. But it all depends on what you are looking to get out of them and how nice the quality of the items are etc.
I’d take $100 just to get rid of this huge stuff - washer, dining table, chairs, trundle bed, Sleigh bed, oversized dog crates, desk, miscellaneous toys, tons of clothes...I think I will make the clothes two for a dollar so they all disappear - or maybe a dollar as most are brands like Loft, Gymboree...That alone would net us $100 at either price point.
I need to buy stickers or something to price things and do that too. I’m lying. I’ll probably group things - items over here are $1 (most things) and items over here are $3 and big things (like a giant Tonka truck) will get post it notes because I already have those.
I’d take $100 just to get rid of this huge stuff - washer, dining table, chairs, trundle bed, Sleigh bed, oversized dog crates, desk, miscellaneous toys, tons of clothes...I think I will make the clothes two for a dollar so they all disappear - or maybe a dollar as most are brands like Loft, Gymboree...That alone would net us $100 at either price point.
I need to buy stickers or something to price things and do that too. I’m lying. I’ll probably group things - items over here are $1 (most things) and items over here are $3 and big things (like a giant Tonka truck) will get post it notes because I already have those.
Is the amount of work that you are talking about worth 100 dollars?
After busting my butt to hold an amazing yard sale, like days of prep, moving, pricing, etc., I took in about 120 dollars for just creating a ton of work for myself. Including people trying to bargain with me over Grobag sleep sacs. Like bargain over messenger days after....
I would go on your neighborhood Facebook page or Craigslist and post em for free. Somebody that needs it will get it and they will do it fast.
Totally worth it!! No one takes anything free here. It’s beyond bizarre to me. On the upside I get free stuff because no one else wants it. Everything is already in bins/stacks or out of the rooms where it belongs. It’s a neighborhood sale and it’s so crowded you can hardly drive on the streets - all the advertising is centralized and they print maps with a summary for each house participating and put them at all the entrances.
I would have to rent a truck and drive things to the dump if we don’t garage sale it. Hoping 99% goes and think we may give it away starting at noon. Like want that? A dollar. Take it.
Charities here don’t take anything with scratches, and local children’s charities (for clothes) are super picky too. I can resale but the shops here require you return same day to get the money and that never works out for me. I’m sooooooo hopeful about this.