Smash the Wellness Industry

[pugz]

If anyone wants to chat privately about this and about finding a therapist that specializes in this feel free to PM me. I felt really hopeless and stuck before I sought out help for this area of my life.

[winecat]

Jun 9, 2019 20:00:29 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

The other thing about the fitness industry is that it’s really easy to be intimidated if you don’t already look the part. Most places around here even sell the high-end gear in the lobby (in tiny sizes, natch). Obviously the employees and class instructors are all fit and beautiful as is most of the clientele. And at $30-40/class ... well, the article is right that they’re selling an image to people who are able to afford it.

That said ... while I recognize how insidious the diet and fitness industries are and how damaging they are to us as women, I still wonder if I’ll ever stop wanting to be thin. Like I may indeed get to the point of “self-love” because aging and hypothyroidism have forced me to accept “this is it. This is your body now.” But “self love” is still about accepting myself flaws and all without getting past the idea that if you’re not skinny and toned that’s a “flaw” you need to “accept.”

I go to yoga 2-4 times a week and people who don't know that see me as out of shape/fat.  I've skipped some of my usual classes if they have a new teacher because I just don't want to deal with the pity/hopeful looks they give me because they think I'm a new and they want to encourage the fat girl.  My yoga studio tried to be size inclusive.  They said they could order any size needed.  I can order online with the best of them.  

I wish I looked like I go to yoga regularly.  I keep at it because it helps with my chronic back pain.  Every once in a while some new chubby girls join but they never stay.  

[winecat]

Jun 9, 2019 20:07:26 GMT -5 pugz said:

it's okay not to love your body, what is important is respecting it. When you respect it you can treat yourself with compassion! Many people never get to the point of loving their body, it's a huge challenge. I don't really love mine but I respect what it has done and is capable of doing, and I know that my value has nothing to do with my body.

Whoa.  This is really something.  Thank you.

[bugandbibs]

Jun 9, 2019 16:31:26 GMT -5 pugz said:

Jun 9, 2019 15:42:45 GMT -5 rubytue said:

I started swimming last summer for this exact reason. I hate sweating! 

I am a horrible swimmer 😭 but i may try water aerobics with the old folks

I used to teach water aerobics and the really awesome thing about it is that it’s totally customizable the the individual. The hardest ab workout I do is in water. You really should give it a try.

[AJL]

I highly recommend following Dare Not to Diet with Glenys Oysten, RDN on Facebook. She also has a podcast called Dieticians Unplugged. It's really good.

Also if you're on Instagram, I recommend following i_weigh founded by Jameela Jamil. 

[Shreddingbetty]

Jun 9, 2019 20:38:08 GMT -5 winecat said:

Jun 9, 2019 20:00:29 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

The other thing about the fitness industry is that it’s really easy to be intimidated if you don’t already look the part. Most places around here even sell the high-end gear in the lobby (in tiny sizes, natch). Obviously the employees and class instructors are all fit and beautiful as is most of the clientele. And at $30-40/class ... well, the article is right that they’re selling an image to people who are able to afford it.

That said ... while I recognize how insidious the diet and fitness industries are and how damaging they are to us as women, I still wonder if I’ll ever stop wanting to be thin. Like I may indeed get to the point of “self-love” because aging and hypothyroidism have forced me to accept “this is it. This is your body now.” But “self love” is still about accepting myself flaws and all without getting past the idea that if you’re not skinny and toned that’s a “flaw” you need to “accept.”

I go to yoga 2-4 times a week and people who don't know that see me as out of shape/fat.  I've skipped some of my usual classes if they have a new teacher because I just don't want to deal with the pity/hopeful looks they give me because they think I'm a new and they want to encourage the fat girl.  My yoga studio tried to be size inclusive.  They said they could order any size needed.  I can order online with the best of them.  

I wish I looked like I go to yoga regularly.  I keep at it because it helps with my chronic back pain.  Every once in a while some new chubby girls join but they never stay.  

I did one yoga session last year because they do roof top yoga outside at one of the restaurants in the summer and checked it out with a couple of friends. I was amazed at how much I suck at it and how I probably should do it (and I’m thin and in pretty decent shape and not very flexible as I found out that night ). It really made me respect people that do yoga a lot more. You may not get a cardio work out but you get muscle and flexibility.   There are plenty of skinny people that are out of shape and also plenty of overweight people that don’t necessarily look like they are in shape even though they are. It is sad that you are made to feel like you need to skip classes when there is a new teacher, they should just mind their own business and teach but I also know that’s probably not the reality unfortunately. You probably kick some skinny butt (you would mine I’m sure)

[lilac05]

I love this. Thanks for sharing!

I’ve already had one “wellness coach” share this article about how she can help. Point missed. She’s also an elementary school teacher, and the wellness stuff is a side gig where you can message her for more information. There’s about a 70% chance it’s an MLM. I’d say 100 except that she rarely posts about it and never mentions incentives, income, or her team”. I’m giving my BB friends 2 days before they post a canned response (written in their style, but obviously directly from corporate) about how what they do is “different.”

I recently quit WW because I hated contributing to the diet industry. It worked well for me because it just made me pay attention, but my focus was always on lifestyle, not weight loss. . I never restricted nor rewarded, and I ate what I wanted. Really, it just helped me stop eating stuff mindlessly as I walked through the kitchen. When I read the first part of the Intuitive Eating book, I realized that what I was doing aligned much more closely with IE than WW. pugz, I think it was you that recommended it, so thank you!

[mrsukyankee]

It's taken ages and there are still the voices in my head that will never go away (regarding fat and looks), but I appreciate my body. It allows me to do the things I want to do. And that's a privilege. Recognizing that the voices will always be there but that I don't have to engage them has been the healthiest thing I've done. Hugs to everyone as we've all taken on these awful messages.

[twilightmv]

This is in response to the PP who mentioned the ridiculousness of morality around some food items.
I made dietary changes last year that I needed to make for me. I’m proud of how I look and feel now, but I hate how people act around me when they are eating. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, so if someone is ordering dessert around me 80% of the time it seems like they feel pressure to say “you’re being so good/I’m being bad” etc. It drives me nuts. Just because I’m choosing different food these days doesn’t mean I’m morally superior or you’re doing something wrong for eating a cupcake. It’s arbitrary and bananas to me. Food is food. Eat the food, don’t eat the food, it says nothing significant about your character either way.

[shauni27]

pugz, I really love everything that you have been sharing since you started this journey. I do not feel like I have the time or the funds right now to do this, but even knowing it is an option some day is something that really helps. I for sure want to do something similar when I am not parenting a toddler all by myself.

[jeaniebueller]

Don't get me started on the smug "no excuses!!!" people who post on social media re: movement.

I have a love/hate relationship with exercise or movement. My fit bit has been a huge help for me, i figure at least i can get steps in even if i am unmotivated to do anything else that day. that said, i am sure that fitbits feed into some of the toxicity of the wellness movement.

[eddy]

I leave for Puerto Rico on Sunday. This is the first time I did not diet for a vacation involving a swimsuit.

My lightbulb moment happened when my mom died. Besides her life long struggle with dieting, I just realized time is precious. And I did not want to spend the time I have restricting. So now I exercise because I truly enjoy it. And I do things I like instead of what I "should" be doing. Eating loads of veggies and protein make me feel good. So that is what I focus on. I don't restrict. I don't have foods I can't eat. If I am not feeling the workout, I just don't do it.

I still have moments of insecurity. But it has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulder to give myself permission that I am not going to diet again.

I love this article.

[wildrice]

Jun 9, 2019 20:38:08 GMT -5 winecat said:

Jun 9, 2019 20:00:29 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

The other thing about the fitness industry is that it’s really easy to be intimidated if you don’t already look the part. Most places around here even sell the high-end gear in the lobby (in tiny sizes, natch). Obviously the employees and class instructors are all fit and beautiful as is most of the clientele. And at $30-40/class ... well, the article is right that they’re selling an image to people who are able to afford it.

That said ... while I recognize how insidious the diet and fitness industries are and how damaging they are to us as women, I still wonder if I’ll ever stop wanting to be thin. Like I may indeed get to the point of “self-love” because aging and hypothyroidism have forced me to accept “this is it. This is your body now.” But “self love” is still about accepting myself flaws and all without getting past the idea that if you’re not skinny and toned that’s a “flaw” you need to “accept.”

I go to yoga 2-4 times a week and people who don't know that see me as out of shape/fat.  I've skipped some of my usual classes if they have a new teacher because I just don't want to deal with the pity/hopeful looks they give me because they think I'm a new and they want to encourage the fat girl.  My yoga studio tried to be size inclusive.  They said they could order any size needed.  I can order online with the best of them.  

I wish I looked like I go to yoga regularly.  I keep at it because it helps with my chronic back pain.  Every once in a while some new chubby girls join but they never stay.  

This is too bad for a number of reasons, but I think especially because yoga is so much more accessible to heavier people than a lot of other workouts. I am overweight (around 60lbs according to BMI charts) and yoga is one of the few things where I feel like I can jump in after time off and not feel like I'm going to die. I don't sweat profusely like I do in cardio classes, and I don't feel like I have to push myself beyond my limits because there are so many modifications. I actually injured myself in Zumba in December because I was not in the right shape to do everything, but I felt the pressure of being the heaviest (and probably oldest) in the room and kept going after my leg started hurting from stepping funny. I'm doing physical therapy now to recover - 6 months later. Yoga has never done that to me! 

I used to belong to a yoga studio and still would love to join a new one (haven't found one that works with my schedule/location in my new city). I think the key for me was that it wasn't a trendy one geared toward young fit women. It was mostly middle age and older with a few younger people mixed in. I never felt pressure there to be a certain way. I will never probably be able to do a hand stand or some of the really intense strength poses but most everything else can be done at any weight. 

ETA: That said I definitely do notice being the heaviest doing yoga. I went on a "yoga hike" on Saturday and one of the first things I thought about was how large I am compared to the rest of the group - I was the heaviest there and many of them looked pretty dang fit. However, I kept up with the group just fine and was actually at the front of the pack for most of the hike, so if anything I showed myself (and anyone else paying attention) that you don't need to be thin to be able to get out and do stuff like that. But, I hate that I even think about it. Why not just show up and NOT think about my weight and how I look/compare to everyone around me? That's so shitty.

[calamity]

sillygoosegirl, AIP is so hard!!! I also have an autoimmune issue, so if I go off the diet it's 'my fault' that I feel bad because I ate some nuts in desperation of protein.

I already feel like complete shit, can't eat the things I enjoy, and it's my fault? Fuck that.

I am learning to appreciate my body more, and learning my limitations. Sure, I can't work out like I used too, and I need extra time to rest after a big event, but it makes me realize the things that are truly important to me.

[wildrice]

@@@

I think being a 30 something woman who hasn't had kids actually adds another layer - there are so many messages now about "look at what your body can do/did! Your body created a life, you can't be ashamed of it!" and my body hasn't done anything impressive. I mean it gets me through life day to day, and that's cool, and I've been lucky to have been mostly healthy up to this point. But I have a "mom bod" without being a mom and there is something that feels almost a little shameful, like I have no excuse for not having my shit together. IDK.

On the other hand as I am getting older I definitely do feel less pressure to be thin. Truthfully, I've never been "thin" and I don't have any reason to think I will start in middle age. There was a time when I was average (like a size 8 and middle of the BMI chart) and I felt mostly ok with my weight but still wished I was thinner. While now I wish I was that weight. Which makes me think that no matter what, I'd never truly think I was thin enough so what's the point? Why does thin matter anyway? Who am I trying to impress? Why do you have to be thin to impress?

I have largely given up on dieting in the last year or so. I still strive to eat healthfully and move more (and often fail!) but so much of the happiness and joy in my life come from going out to eat, trying new recipes, finding delicious things in the grocery store, trying new beers, etc. I could stop doing all that, but for what? Is being thin for the sake of being thin going to make me happier than getting out and enjoying all these things I enjoy? Doubtful.

I do worry about my future health related to weight but I also wonder how much of that is even factual anymore. Will being my weight actually make me less likely to live a healthy and active life into old age or is that the diet industry trying to scare me into buying their products? IDK. Seems like the jury is still out on that one.

[pugz]

Following registered dieticians that embrace IE has been really helpful for me, some of my favorites on instagram are:

@hgoodrichrd (she recently did an interview on Jen Hatmaker's For the Love podcast that is worth listening to)
@dieticiananna
@kristinabruce_coach
@thesassydietician
@mollybcounseling
@kristamurias
@bodybravecanada

and lots more! But having their messages pop up in my feed regularly has really helped me.

There are lots of good podcasts too. A search for "intuitive eating" pulls up a bunch. The ones I've been listening to recently are Food Psych, Intuitive Bites, and Love Food.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 10, 2019 7:15:15 GMT -5 twilightmv said:

This is in response to the PP who mentioned the ridiculousness of morality around some food items.
I made dietary changes last year that I needed to make for me. I’m proud of how I look and feel now, but I hate how people act around me when they are eating. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, so if someone is ordering dessert around me 80% of the time it seems like they feel pressure to say “you’re being so good/I’m being bad” etc. It drives me nuts. Just because I’m choosing different food these days doesn’t mean I’m morally superior or you’re doing something wrong for eating a cupcake. It’s arbitrary and bananas to me. Food is food. Eat the food, don’t eat the food, it says nothing significant about your character either way.

The amount of times people are shamed for their eating choices makes this a go-to response...you can self-depreciate before someone else shames you again. 

[jamaicam]

I love the concept of movement.

The rest is a bit of a random stream of thoughts...

Since I have told people about my MS diagnosis, everyone is an expert and can tell me about which diet to follow that will cure me. And I am getting really annoyed by it - I am a people pleaser so I don't like to tell them to shut the F up but basically I smile and nod and say I'll look into it and will talk to my doctors about it.

I love my Doctor's advice. He says eat a balanced diet, more vegetables. less red meat. And basically try and be healthy. Which fits in with my trying to be good to the environment eating plan.

He also promotes the idea of movement. Don't over do it. Just try and move a bit every day.

The ladies in my community have come together and we have a personal trainer who comes 3 mornings a week. We've been doing it for 3 months now and that's the longest time I have stuck at some exercise consistently since I was a kid. He fortunately is sensible - he asked us what our goals are and I told him I have no interest in what my weight is - I want to get fit enough to run around the block to chase a kid if necessary. And he is very encouraging. Tells us that we are getting stronger and notes that we are able to do things we couldn't before. But I know that the only reasons I have stuck at it are that it is convenient (3 minutes from my bed to the basketball court) and the group encouragement.

But it is hard. And I know I am very fortunate - my parents were really good with us growing up - they never talked about our weight or body shape. They encouraged us to be active as a family (go on hikes, go to the pool etc). So I don't have a lot of issues that I see so many of my friends having.

[pugz]

jamaicam if you are on instagram @dieticiananna has MS and talks about the intersection of diet culture and ableism a lot.

[jamaicam]

Jun 10, 2019 8:46:43 GMT -5 pugz said:

jamaicam if you are on instagram @dieticiananna has MS and talks about the intersection of diet culture and ableism a lot.

I am - I follow you 
Thanks I'll look for her

[winecat]

Jun 10, 2019 7:42:11 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Jun 9, 2019 20:38:08 GMT -5 winecat said:

I go to yoga 2-4 times a week and people who don't know that see me as out of shape/fat.  I've skipped some of my usual classes if they have a new teacher because I just don't want to deal with the pity/hopeful looks they give me because they think I'm a new and they want to encourage the fat girl.  My yoga studio tried to be size inclusive.  They said they could order any size needed.  I can order online with the best of them.  

I wish I looked like I go to yoga regularly.  I keep at it because it helps with my chronic back pain.  Every once in a while some new chubby girls join but they never stay.  

This is too bad for a number of reasons, but I think especially because yoga is so much more accessible to heavier people than a lot of other workouts. I am overweight (around 60lbs according to BMI charts) and yoga is one of the few things where I feel like I can jump in after time off and not feel like I'm going to die. I don't sweat profusely like I do in cardio classes, and I don't feel like I have to push myself beyond my limits because there are so many modifications. I actually injured myself in Zumba in December because I was not in the right shape to do everything, but I felt the pressure of being the heaviest (and probably oldest) in the room and kept going after my leg started hurting from stepping funny. I'm doing physical therapy now to recover - 6 months later. Yoga has never done that to me! 

I used to belong to a yoga studio and still would love to join a new one (haven't found one that works with my schedule/location in my new city). I think the key for me was that it wasn't a trendy one geared toward young fit women. It was mostly middle age and older with a few younger people mixed in. I never felt pressure there to be a certain way. I will never probably be able to do a hand stand or some of the really intense strength poses but most everything else can be done at any weight. 

ETA: That said I definitely do notice being the heaviest doing yoga. I went on a "yoga hike" on Saturday and one of the first things I thought about was how large I am compared to the rest of the group - I was the heaviest there and many of them looked pretty dang fit. However, I kept up with the group just fine and was actually at the front of the pack for most of the hike, so if anything I showed myself (and anyone else paying attention) that you don't need to be thin to be able to get out and do stuff like that. But, I hate that I even think about it. Why not just show up and NOT think about my weight and how I look/compare to everyone around me? That's so shitty.

When I shut down my retail shop, I was in such poor shape and in so much pain from standing on concrete 12+ hours a day.  Literally all I could do was yin or restorative yoga since my fascia was so tight.  I had to use 2 yoga mats for cushioning.  I was a hot, hot mess.  Thankfully that teacher is SO supportive and has this way of working with students so seamlessly that I never felt like I was flailing since she'd be right there with the props I needed.  I wish all the teachers were like her.  Thanks to her I learned how I needed to adjust/prop.  I wish she was there to support all newbies.  The studio I go to is literally across the street from my house so that's why I keep going there.  I like the progress that I'm making; that I'm stronger now than I have been in years.  I do my best to give no fucks about the rest of yoga and focus on what it does for me.  That works best if I keep to myself and go to teachers I know. 

Do you follow Jessamyn Stanley?  She confronts the size-ism and racism that is in western yoga.  

[Deleted]

What's really tough is how the wellness industry is tied to the medical industry. I started struggling with weight in my teens, and I was genuinely a success story; I kept off 45+lbs for almost 20 years, and could always rein it in when my weight crept up a bit. Then work went to hell, and I put on 60lbs in 2 years for reasons that are still really unclear, but likely tied to stress (and I suspect its affect on my endocrine/hormone system). I went to a nutrition clinic that confirmed insulin resistance, and tried 3 different MDs to request more in-depth blood work. I literally went from someone who completed a half marathon to 6 mos later not being able to complete a 20min gentle vinyasa yoga without a few days of intense DOMS and exhaustion. If I do a Keto or WW diet plan intensely for 6-8 weeks, I may lose3-5 lbs; the second I have an alcoholic beverage I regain that weight and it completely stays on as a 'real' gain, not just a few days of bloat. I will credit that they all they did pretty in-depth thyroid work ups/ When they all came up normal (and I checked my results against online information to make sure they weren't possibly borderline as well), then all I got were the usual tropes--"eat less move more, make sure you get your 10K steps in, have you tried counting calories or WW? Ah well, just genetics." They seriously didn't have any more interest or tools for investigating if anything more was happening with how my body now processes food/energy.

So I'm essentially stuck here at 60lbs overweight, and limited to 15-20min workouts most days, and still trying to accept that. I highly recommend the book "Health at Every Size" by Linda Bacon, because it addresses how the weight loss and medical system are essentially broken and don't follow what is scientifically proven about bodies and weight; that weight may not be reverseable and ultimately also isn't a death sentence. My word this year has been "evolve," and part of that is feeling good physically because I take care of my body with gentle movement, small strength gains, and just being more in the moment, instead of fretting about the number on the scale and the tags in my clothes. But it is so hard to keep in that mindset when there is constant input about 'this system works great, this is the workout plan that works, this is the real reason you can't lose weight.' So much noise, and you really just have to trust it is all bullsh!t, and you're on the right path.

[ESF]

Jun 10, 2019 9:10:17 GMT -5 winecat said:

Do you follow Jessamyn Stanley?  She confronts the size-ism and racism that is in western yoga.  

Ditto this recommendation. She’s a great follow. She’s guest teaching a couple classes at a local studio later this summer and I am definitely going to go!!!

I will say this about yoga though - it’s not right for everyone. I hated it for years and it’s not something I personally would recommend to people wanting a form of movement that’s good for all bodies.

What I really dislike about it is all the full body up/down movements. I used to find it super stressful to deal with all the getting up off the mat or down on the floor movements while keeping up, and the longer, flowing sequences make it harder to tap in and out if you need to stop moving for a minute or a two. When I was very beginner, I found it very hard to find a class that keeps a pace where I felt comfortable.

For people who dislike yoga or haven’t found a class that works for them, I’d recommend looking for a beginner mat Pilates class. You stay down on a mat for most of the class. The movements are smaller. There is more repetition, so it’s easier to pause to watch or catch your breathe...you can do six reps and not twelve and just start up again when the movement changes.

I have only come around on yoga because I got more comfortable engaging in physical movement in other forms.

I say all this just to emphasize that YMMV. There are lots of options for beginners out there so don’t beat yourself up if you hate the obvious choice. It does kind of suck, haha.

[taratru]

I get angry at all the years I have wasted hating my body. I'm getting better, but decades of habitual thinking is so damn hard to change.

[ESF]

Jun 10, 2019 7:50:35 GMT -5 wildrice said:

@@@

I think being a 30 something woman who hasn't had kids actually adds another layer - there are so many messages now about "look at what your body can do/did! Your body created a life, you can't be ashamed of it!" and my body hasn't done anything impressive. I mean it gets me through life day to day, and that's cool, and I've been lucky to have been mostly healthy up to this point. But I have a "mom bod" without being a mom and there is something that feels almost a little shameful, like I have no excuse for not having my shit together. IDK.

On the other hand as I am getting older I definitely do feel less pressure to be thin. Truthfully, I've never been "thin" and I don't have any reason to think I will start in middle age. There was a time when I was average (like a size 8 and middle of the BMI chart) and I felt mostly ok with my weight but still wished I was thinner. While now I wish I was that weight. Which makes me think that no matter what, I'd never truly think I was thin enough so what's the point? Why does thin matter anyway? Who am I trying to impress? Why do you have to be thin to impress?

I have largely given up on dieting in the last year or so. I still strive to eat healthfully and move more (and often fail!) but so much of the happiness and joy in my life come from going out to eat, trying new recipes, finding delicious things in the grocery store, trying new beers, etc. I could stop doing all that, but for what? Is being thin for the sake of being thin going to make me happier than getting out and enjoying all these things I enjoy? Doubtful.

I do worry about my future health related to weight but I also wonder how much of that is even factual anymore. Will being my weight actually make me less likely to live a healthy and active life into old age or is that the diet industry trying to scare me into buying their products? IDK. Seems like the jury is still out on that one.

Allllllll of this.

As to your last paragraph, I will say this. I suspect that at least some of the statistics that demonstrate worse health outcomes for obese people are the result of doctors not taking concerns seriously and proscribing weight loss at the solution to literally every health concern.

That said, my approach now as I age is to think about how to keep my body functional. Can I carry heavy bags of groceries and squat down to pick things up and put suitcases in the overhead bin and comfortably twist around in the car to see blind spots? The ability to do these things is something able bodied people take for granted, but are skills everyone, regardless of size, can lose through disease or accidents or even just because you aren’t paying attention and taking care of your body.

So with that in mind, as I age, I personally try to think about “exercise” as an act of self care done to help me live as independently. That’s how I now make myself go to yoga, gotta be able to get myself up off the floor easily.

[katieinthecity]

I love love LOVE this article. As someone who's struggled with my weight and body image since puberty, it really resonated. The line "We don't need to love our bodies to respect them." - WOAH. HUGE FUCKING LIGHTBULB. And I consider myself fairly well versed in the body-acceptance/HAES communities. But still, they're all about "love your body". I wonder what H would say if I asked him if he loved his body? I bet it's never even occured to him as a thing he should do.

I also think that the point about yo-yo dieting is SO important. It's proven to be very harmful, at least as much so, if not more, than remaing overweight/obese. And considering that the vast majority of people who lose weight gain it back (I know I have, every single time) - maybe we need to move the focus. I'm very good at losing weight. I'm also very good at gaining it. Any doctor who prescribes weightloss as a solution without taking the impact of yo-yo dieting into account is guilty of fatphobia.

My Dad died at age 60 of lung cancer, from second-hand smoke from his Dad for the first 20 years of his life and from the restaurant industry for the last 40. He spent the last 25 years of his life battling his weight in kitchens and bars, inhaling carcinogens all the while. He lost and gained the same 50 pounds I don't even know how many times. And to what end? Something is going to kill us all. We know so little about how food and metabolism work, I'm not convinced enough at this stage to go to great lengths to lose the same 50 lbs I've lost and gained five times already.

[krystee]

I had weight loss surgery in March and am down 70 pounds, and it is really sad how much nicer people are to me now and how much less invisible I am. I am still overweight, but people are treating me like I am a worthier person because I am less fat, and it is uncomfortable. (Of course, I am also propagating diet culture by posting progress pictures, but having struggled my entire life, it is hard to not want to celebrate.)

I had to do something drastic to avoid an imminent type 2 diagnosis, which is why I chose surgery, but now that my diabetes is gone, I plan to follow more of an intuitive eating plan for maintenance. So many people in my support group are keto and totally shame you if you fit carbs into your eating plan, and it kills me. We are the people who have been body shamed our whole lives...surely we should know better than anyone not to turn around and become the shamers!

[pugz]

I really appreciate that we can talk openly about this stuff on this board. No assholes coming in to fat shame us 💗

[bronxgirl]

Jun 9, 2019 20:10:19 GMT -5 pugz said:

If anyone wants to chat privately about this and about finding a therapist that specializes in this feel free to PM me. I felt really hopeless and stuck before I sought out help for this area of my life.

Would you, or anybody else  be interested in having a private chat group about this, like maybe on FB or something?  I have a lot of times throughout the day when I have a difficult feeling or struggle  or just get caught up in all the BS and it would be nice to speak openly about it to other people who get it.

Thanks everyone for all the book recommendations.  I look forward to reading them.

[ESF]

Jun 10, 2019 11:03:27 GMT -5 katieinthecity said:

I love love LOVE this article. As someone who's struggled with my weight and body image since puberty, it really resonated. The line "We don't need to love our bodies to respect them." - WOAH. HUGE FUCKING LIGHTBULB. And I consider myself fairly well versed in the body-acceptance/HAES communities. But still, they're all about "love your body". I wonder what H would say if I asked him if he loved his body? I bet it's never even occured to him as a thing he should do.

I also think that the point about yo-yo dieting is SO important. It's proven to be very harmful, at least as much so, if not more, than remaing overweight/obese. And considering that the vast majority of people who lose weight gain it back (I know I have, every single time) - maybe we need to move the focus. I'm very good at losing weight. I'm also very good at gaining it. Any doctor who prescribes weightloss as a solution without taking the impact of yo-yo dieting into account is guilty of fatphobia.

My Dad died at age 60 of lung cancer, from second-hand smoke from his Dad for the first 20 years of his life and from the restaurant industry for the last 40. He spent the last 25 years of his life battling his weight in kitchens and bars, inhaling carcinogens all the while. He lost and gained the same 50 pounds I don't even know how many times. And to what end? Something is going to kill us all. We know so little about how food and metabolism work, I'm not convinced enough at this stage to go to great lengths to lose the same 50 lbs I've lost and gained five times already.

Yup. The yo yo dieting is not only so physically awful, but it's a mind fuck far worse than just existing at my current weight.

I have started doing a big of cleaning and purging of stuff anticipation for our move, and there are so many random pieces of clothing in about four different sizes shoved into boxes and bags all over the house. I've been slowly moving in the "no more dieting" mindset over the last year, but it's a daily battle. But now faced with the option of dragging all these items of clothing across the country, I think I need to officially say a permanent goodbye to this stuff. I just can't live like this anymore.