Smash the Wellness Industry

[pugz]

I don't think the message in the article is necessarily for everyone or that everyone is at the place they need to be to really hear it and act on it. And yeah 5-20% of people can lose weight and successfully keep it off long term, but for the majority we won't. I'm done with dieting and focusing on weight loss that will only be short term. When I came to terms with that in the fall after reading that NYT or WP article about obesity it ramped up my anxiety and I had to go on medication to get to the right place where I could start therapy.

Later in the Intuitive Eating book (and in your process to learn it, I'm not at that point yet) it talks about gentle nutrition. My understanding is that it's eating in a way that satisfies you and honors your hunger and moving in a way you enjoy and with that you will gravitate towards your intended weight. That might mean losing, gaining, or staying the same. But again I haven't finished the book yet, still trying to unlearn stuff before I learn gentle nutrition. I still have a lot of anxiety around food. Cooking is still impossible for me, too much thinking about food.

[pugz]

AJL I think you are right that the message is for everyone (I posted at the same time). I think more the message may not be for everyone RIGHT NOW with where they are in their journey. I hope everyone can realize the damage that diet culture is doing to their lives and to our society eventually and can take back some of their power. But I have lots of friends that just aren't ready yet. It is scary!

[pugz]

Jun 10, 2019 16:12:28 GMT -5 AJL said:

I think this article IS for everyone.  I've read through all the current posts here and in every on I still hear the voices of people who are struggling against the propaganda of the wellness industry, diet culture, definitions of health, and the fight against their own needs, wants, and desires.

We've been told so many lies and given perverted definitions of health, wellness, diet, exercise. We're told these lies so that we'll buy the products that we think will give us the results we're told to achieve so that we'll be worthy, desirable, acceptable, and wanted in society.  Those lies feed on our shame. 

But we have nothing to be ashamed of. Our bodies are good bodies where they are right now.  Their shapes, their textures, their abilities, their colors, their ages, their functions... they are all good.  

This topic is so hard to assert our power against because women have been controlled by it for so long. It's a tool of the patriarchy and used as a distraction from what we're capable of being.  I've struggled for so long too and though I feel like I'm in a state of equilibrium with my body, mind, and spirit right now,  it's taken decades of struggle and therapy to get there.

Each of you is an extraordinary human being and your worth is in your humanness. 

QFT! You nailed it. Hearing other people say this is so encouraging to me. I feel less alone on this journey when I see people ahead of me!

[lilypad1126]

In one breath I can say how proud I am of body and all it can do (run, hike, etc). But in the very next breath, I’m worrying about whether I should really eat the pizza I want for dinner or if I should have a “boring” salad instead. I waste so much mental energy on food and wellness, that I know I’m missing out on things.

My H is even worse than I am. He is actively trying to lose weight, and it’s slow going. He tells me about the healthy food he buys and how it’s “portion controlled”. Well, that’s all well and good, but then dinner is over and he’s starving and can’t figure out why. He attaches “good” or “bad” to foods, which is his issue, except then when I eventually want a snack I’ve internalized what he’s said and restrict myself in ways that aren’t super healthy.

It’s a struggle every day. And it’s a different struggle from most other vices. Not that quitting a habit/vice/addiction is easy, but we can’t give up food. We need it to survive. So you can’t quit it completely, you can’t just not buy it, you have to eat something. But getting past the mental aspect of food, weight, exercise, and diet is so difficult.

[bowies]

Jun 10, 2019 10:27:45 GMT -5 taratru said:

I get angry at all the years I have wasted hating my body. I'm getting better, but decades of habitual thinking is so damn hard to change.

Preach. I saw a therapist for body dysmorphia in my 20s. I heard the message that I was too fat starting in middle school when my mom started controlling my food. Then I couldn’t have certain clothing or bathing suits because they didn’t look good on me. Once I went to college I ate everrrrrything because it all had been so taboo. I’m almost 40 and I’m only now starting to make peace with things. Part maturity, part realizing I’m an old crone now anyways.

[Jalapeñomel]

I listen to the young men and women talk in my classrooms, and it kills me.

We have a long way to go before people who aren’t thin are considered conventionally beautiful and worthy of love.

[picksthemusic]

I've stayed quiet here because I've been internalizing, but I've been trying to be more accepting of my body as it is right now. I just got a couple of tees at Costco in my comfortable size (XXL), and they look good on me, I think. Yes, I have a round belly, yes, I have wide hips, but this body has done amazing things and I am able to still enjoy life in it as it is. My DH appreciates my body for what it is as it is. We are both on a journey for better health, which includes eating more vegetables and moving more. We try to extend ourselves grace a lot because we really enjoy food and cooking. With the health issues my DH had a few years ago, we don't take anything for granted anymore.

[goldengirlz]

A couple of people have mentioned not caring about their weight as much anymore because they’re getting older. For me, I think it’s been the opposite; this is pretty tied up in aging (and ageism) for me. I work in a pretty youthful industry and most of my coworkers are younger than I am and have the metabolisms I used to have. We do a lot of team building events that require a base level of physical fitness. Being an “older” woman in a male-dominated industry has added to my feelings about this by an order of magnitude.

There’s a ton of baggage around this issue and so many ways we could dissect it.

[Deleted]

Yes, ESF and AJL, you said what I was really thinking. But I was too frustrated to put it into words.

[krystee]

What is so crazy is that dieting or thinking about dieting has consumed so much of my life that the idea of ACTUALLY losing weight was scary because I had no idea who I would even BE or what my dreams would change to if they were not centered around that. Well, it turns out I have a lot of them, which I would have discovered much earlier if I hadn’t felt so much societal pressure to make myself a smaller size.

[ESF]

Jun 10, 2019 19:08:11 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

A couple of people have mentioned not caring about their weight as much anymore because they’re getting older. For me, I think it’s been the opposite; this is pretty tied up in aging (and ageism) for me. I work in a pretty youthful industry and most of my coworkers are younger than I am and have the metabolisms I used to have. We do a lot of team building events that require a base level of physical fitness. Being a “older” woman in a male-dominated industry has added to my feelings about this by an order of magnitude.

There’s a ton of baggage around this issue and so many ways we could dissect it.

I think SF Bay Area is quickly becoming a very ageist place, probably because of the sheer number of both men of all ages and very wealthy people in their 20s.

I am sorry you are struggling. I HATE team building events that are designed around some higher expectation of fitness. My office is terrible about that and it’s so fucked up.

[isabel]

I think, like some of you, I've had periods in my life where I've had this great body that I should have been thrilled with, but wasn't. I've always worked out to satisfy an urge to make my body look better. That's not to be confused with the idea that I didn't like my body. I think I've always generally been fine with it. I'm still fine with it. But it doesn't change the fact that I have always exercised in order to make it better. Not because it's the healthy thing to do.

I heard a conversation on NPR's TED Radio Hour on Prevention that really struck a chord with me. Prior to hearing that, I hadn't done anything I consider to be exercise in over a year. I just stopped doing anything. I couldn't be bothered. My body is what it is, I thought, so why bother working on it? That TED Talk discussed how we as humans tend not to invest the time in preventative measures because we figure there's always a fast fix, a cure, something easy to fix what ails us. It made me realize that by neglecting to move my body, I am neglecting my long term health. I'm putting myself at higher risk of various diseases as I age. And if I can do something now to stay healthy in the future, why wouldn't I do it?

I've been working out on what I consider a consistent basis since I heard that talk (granted, it's only been a week). Today, for the first time that I can recall, when the going got tough during the workout I decided on, I told myself that I'm doing this for my future self. For my health. For my family. To help prevent future disease. And the last part of my workout was great. Because it wasn't about this unachievable body image that I've apparently been striving for. I'm realizing that my body is what it is. It's fine. My DH is 100% fine with it and clearly doesn't notice the difference between how I look now vs when we were in college. I'm realizing that it's ok to eat what I feel like eating, move my body when I feel like moving it, and focus on things that are actually important to me, instead of what society seems to value.

Anyway, that got long. This article was just really timely for me. I feel like I've had this big mental shift in how I view myself and it's been really cool to recognize that change.

If you think it might be helpful to you, this is the program I was listening to: www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/534605310/prevention

[mrsukyankee]

For the first time in ears, I'm not dieting right before summer. And while playing softball, I've been having the best batting I've had since I was a teenager. Yup, not dieting = stronger and more focused for me. I didn't put two and two together until just now. I may be heavier than I'd like but I can "do" a lot better and that's important to me.

[lexus]

Jun 10, 2019 14:48:28 GMT -5 rachelgreen said:

@@ and TW @ loss mentioned

It’s a good reminder for me that it’s probably ok that my body is where it’s at currently. A year ago I had been at my lowest weight since college and I felt so much better. I really did. It had been a long process of losing those 80lbs over the course of 5 years (two kids in there with a year of BF for each) but I felt like myself again. I felt great in clothes.

And then I got pregnant. In March, we lost my MIl to cancer and I had to deliver my stillborn daughter. Somehow only being halfway through that pregnancy, I had already gained 30 lbs (both others I gained 28 exactly in total). I’m still up that weight plus 5. And I am miserable. I don’t feel like I’m over eating. I don’t feel like I’m a couch potato either - just this past weekend was the annual Chicagoland Walk of Hope that I chair and I logged nearly 50,000 steps on Saturday alone.

And yet, I can’t figure out how to be ok with how I look. I can’t figure out how to love my body right now because it has been failing me for years and now it took my daughter from me as well. It’s such a mind fuck.

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s been five years since my son was stillborn and I am here. I think it’s the stress of grief combined with my anxiety (which has gotten dramatically worse now that I fixate on doing everything I can not to lose my two other children). I don’t have any answers but I’m sorry you find yourself in the same position.

[winecat]

Jun 10, 2019 10:23:35 GMT -5 ESF said:

Jun 10, 2019 9:10:17 GMT -5 winecat said:

Do you follow Jessamyn Stanley?  She confronts the size-ism and racism that is in western yoga.  

Ditto this recommendation. She’s a great follow. She’s guest teaching a couple classes at a local studio later this summer and I am definitely going to go!!!

I will say this about yoga though - it’s not right for everyone. I hated it for years and it’s not something I personally would recommend to people wanting a form of movement that’s good for all bodies.

What I really dislike about it is all the full body up/down movements. I used to find it super stressful to deal with all the getting up off the mat or down on the floor movements while keeping up, and the longer, flowing sequences make it harder to tap in and out if you need to stop moving for a minute or a two. When I was very beginner, I found it very hard to find a class that keeps a pace where I felt comfortable.

For people who dislike yoga or haven’t found a class that works for them, I’d recommend looking for a beginner mat Pilates class. You stay down on a mat for most of the class. The movements are smaller. There is more repetition, so it’s easier to pause to watch or catch your breathe...you can do six reps and not twelve and just start up again when the movement changes.

I have only come around on yoga because I got more comfortable engaging in physical movement in other forms.

I say all this just to emphasize that YMMV. There are lots of options for beginners out there so don’t beat yourself up if you hate the obvious choice. It does kind of suck, haha.

Let us know how her classes are.  I'm such a fan and I hope she continues to change the yoga world.  

Ditto everything you said on yoga too.  I *hated* it the first few times I tried it when I was younger for many of the same reasons.  My studio has some beginner classes which I took when I was first starting.  One thing I've noticed about the teachers I like the best is that build in breaks/opportunities for resting poses.  All that said, I keep going because if I don't I'm in pain.  I generally don't enjoy exercise/movement.  I know it's good for avoiding future health issues and keeping my bones and muscles strong for the decades down the road.  I'm looking forward to being a crazy old lady and know that if I'm not active now, it'll be more difficult to share my eccentricities with the world. lol

Reformer Pilates classes are great too.  You build muscles and stretch in a lot of similar ways too but you have the machine to help meet you where you're at so you can reach your maximum effort.  

[jr009j]

Jun 10, 2019 18:09:52 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

I've stayed quiet here because I've been internalizing, but I've been trying to be more accepting of my body as it is right now. I just got a couple of tees at Costco in my comfortable size (XXL), and they look good on me, I think. Yes, I have a round belly, yes, I have wide hips, but this body has done amazing things and I am able to still enjoy life in it as it is. My DH appreciates my body for what it is as it is. We are both on a journey for better health, which includes eating more vegetables and moving more. We try to extend ourselves grace a lot because we really enjoy food and cooking. With the health issues my DH had a few years ago, we don't take anything for granted anymore.

Buying clothes that fit my body now versus the body I want has done amazing for my comfort levels. I don’t think I realized just how much I was forcing myself into smaller sizes until I stopped. It helps that you can find nicer stuff in larger sizes in more places now.

[cville]

You know, reading this article and thread has made me realize how screwed up my thinking is right now. There was a long time I stayed heavier to spite my extended family who placed a priority on thin and then a long time when I stayed heavier to deter male attention after being assaulted. Then I took control back for myself and, as part of many other life changes, also lost a bunch of weight and felt great. Strong, healthy, confident. I felt pretty good for years.

I think getting older has jacked up my mental clarity on this. I'm not as thin as I was and along with changes to my skin and many other aging issues, I feel bad about my body. I censor what I say in front of my kids, especially my daughter, but I'm still thinking it. And it's getting worse. I'm back to moralistic thinking about food and hating every photo taken of me.

I think this may be part of the kick in the pants I need to figure out a way through this.

[sillygoosegirl]

I know this is kind of the opposite of the point of the article (maybe?), but I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of feeling judged by others who percieve any sort of dieting/wellness stuff as being all about looking thin (comments implying you are shallow or something), when you are trying to be healthier?

I got a lot of comments about how I didn't need to be on a diet last year when I was following the AIP diet trying to heal my pituitary gland. A lot of, "but you don't need to be on a diet" and "but you aren't fat" etc. I totally appreciate that people wanted me to feel better about my body and probably thought they were being supportive that way, but at the same time it was really frustrating to feel like people were blowing off my serious health problem I was hoping to address as a shallow vanity move. (The diet ultimately didn't seem to make any difference for my pituitary or hormones, so I stopped, but that's kind of beside the point.)

A year out, I'm 20 pounds heavier (hormone related?) and so ironically now interested in dieting for the more traditional reason of weight loss. But the assumption that it's about looking good still feels pretty hurtful to me. Regardless of whether this is "lifestyle" or "hormones" or "hormonal changes due to lifestyle" or "microplastics in my diet" or "tomatoes and legumes causing autoimmunity" or whatever, I am seriously concerned about the long term health implications of being overweight and especially of continuing to get more overweight. And my quality of life is already impacted by it being *physically* less comfortable to live in my new heavier and less capable body. It's true that it's also *emotionally* less comfortable in my new heavier body (I was assumed/asked if I was pregnant twice in the last month, which has never happened to me before, and definitely stung), and we could certainly do with less of the body shaming of our society that feeds that, but it would be nice if we could find a way to reject the body shaming without simultaneously blowing off people's motivation to be healthier.

[downtoearth]

I am a cynical person these days, but I really think this is an industry and am so disappointed in the medical community for not taking more of the roll of wellness, fitness/movement, and nutrition under their wings first and foremost. By making it generally a women's issue and the medical community primarily being a male-dominated career track for so long, this fueled the fire to move diet/exercise/wellness/nutrition into an industry rather than a science and medical focus. This doesn't discount that men feel pressure from this also.

Oh and the fact that we focus on wellness with little challenges and incentives to lower our medical rates from a corporate or business standpoint is also super messed up. How many companies raise per diems so people can go get quinoa salad and lean protein? How many help you take time each day to stop productivity and go to a company-paid/supported workout class or nutrition class? So few. They want you to use your own time and money to change your own lifestyle so you can work more productively for them on their time.

[ESF]

Would people be interested in a weekly check in/support thread? This article was way more popular than I anticipated and generated such a good discussion that I want to keep it going. We've done a more diet oriented thread here on and off for years, but it sounds like we need to change that up and think about a more holistic view of health. So I'm thinking a check in to discuss how we are taking care of ourselves and how we are trying to deal with the mindfuck caused by the faux wellness industry.

If people are into it, let's keep this thread open for a few more days. What's a good day for a weekly check in thread? Friday to plan for the weekend and decompress from the week?

[downtoearth]

Jun 11, 2019 14:09:00 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

I know this is kind of the opposite of the point of the article (maybe?), but I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of feeling judged by others who percieve any sort of dieting/wellness stuff as being all about looking thin (comments implying you are shallow or something), when you are trying to be healthier?

I got a lot of comments about how I didn't need to be on a diet last year when I was following the AIP diet trying to heal my pituitary gland. A lot of, "but you don't need to be on a diet" and "but you aren't fat" etc. I totally appreciate that people wanted me to feel better about my body and probably thought they were being supportive that way, but at the same time it was really frustrating to feel like people were blowing off my serious health problem I was hoping to address as a shallow vanity move. (The diet ultimately didn't seem to make any difference for my pituitary or hormones, so I stopped, but that's kind of beside the point.)

A year out, I'm 20 pounds heavier (hormone related?) and so ironically now interested in dieting for the more traditional reason of weight loss. But the assumption that it's about looking good still feels pretty hurtful to me. Regardless of whether this is "lifestyle" or "hormones" or "hormonal changes due to lifestyle" or "microplastics in my diet" or "tomatoes and legumes causing autoimmunity" or whatever, I am seriously concerned about the long term health implications of being overweight and especially of continuing to get more overweight. And my quality of life is already impacted by it being *physically* less comfortable to live in my new heavier and less capable body. It's true that it's also *emotionally* less comfortable in my new heavier body (I was assumed/asked if I was pregnant twice in the last month, which has never happened to me before, and definitely stung), and we could certainly do with less of the body shaming of our society that feeds that, but it would be nice if we could find a way to reject the body shaming without simultaneously blowing off people's motivation to be healthier.

Me - I get it. I am skinny right now due to not having an appetite from life changes and depression... you know how many people think being skinny while sad is a consolation prize and say that out loud, "Well, at least you look skinny" or "Skinny is the best revenge."  I'd rather be chubby and happy (and throat punch people who even comment on my looks).

Also my friend got that from high school to 35 when she was skinny (due to an unknown tumor on her pituitary gland) - used to get told to "eat something" or "don't you like food?" and other rude comments. They removed the tumor and she's about 3 sizes larger now and (went from a size 2 to 8) and people are constantly giving her advice on how to diet or lose weight. Size is just constantly a thing people comment on... large or small. I don't get it unless maybe in some instances where you're surprised at a child's growth since you've last seen them.

[Deleted]

I’m just popping in to say that I super appreciate the vulnerability and honesty and support in this thread. I am 37 today, and while this may not be the year I start loving my body, I have decided it’s going to be the year I stop hating it.

[pugz]

Jun 11, 2019 14:20:13 GMT -5 ESF said:

Would people be interested in a weekly check in/support thread? This article was way more popular than I anticipated and generated such a good discussion that I want to keep it going. We've done a more diet oriented thread here on and off for years, but it sounds like we need to change that up and think about a more holistic view of health. So I'm thinking a check in to discuss how we are taking care of ourselves and how we are trying to deal with the mindfuck caused by the faux wellness industry.

If people are into it, let's keep this thread open for a few more days. What's a good day for a weekly check in thread? Friday to plan for the weekend and decompress from the week?

Yes let’s do it!

[wildrice]

Jun 11, 2019 14:33:04 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

I’m just popping in to say that I super appreciate the vulnerability and honesty and support in this thread. I am 37 today, and while this may not be the year I start loving my body, I have decided it’s going to be the year I stop hating it.

Happy birthday!

My 37th birthday was 2 days ago and I wholeheartedly support this goal and will join you.

[wambam]

This is fairly tangential, but it’s been working well for me so I thought I’d share it. My therapist recommended making a checklist of the things I need to do every day to be truly well (not in the “wellness industry” way described in this article). Exercise and eating well are there, but so are meditation, countering negative thoughts, and assertively expressing my emotions. Another item is not weighing or measuring my body, which honestly, I find difficult. Every night, I fill out the checklist and assess what I did well and what I can do better on tomorrow. It sounds really hokey, but it helps me keep focused on what I need to do to feel good in my body and mind.

[goldengirlz]

Jun 11, 2019 14:09:00 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

I know this is kind of the opposite of the point of the article (maybe?), but I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of feeling judged by others who percieve any sort of dieting/wellness stuff as being all about looking thin (comments implying you are shallow or something), when you are trying to be healthier?

I got a lot of comments about how I didn't need to be on a diet last year when I was following the AIP diet trying to heal my pituitary gland. A lot of, "but you don't need to be on a diet" and "but you aren't fat" etc. I totally appreciate that people wanted me to feel better about my body and probably thought they were being supportive that way, but at the same time it was really frustrating to feel like people were blowing off my serious health problem I was hoping to address as a shallow vanity move. (The diet ultimately didn't seem to make any difference for my pituitary or hormones, so I stopped, but that's kind of beside the point.)

A year out, I'm 20 pounds heavier (hormone related?) and so ironically now interested in dieting for the more traditional reason of weight loss. But the assumption that it's about looking good still feels pretty hurtful to me. Regardless of whether this is "lifestyle" or "hormones" or "hormonal changes due to lifestyle" or "microplastics in my diet" or "tomatoes and legumes causing autoimmunity" or whatever, I am seriously concerned about the long term health implications of being overweight and especially of continuing to get more overweight. And my quality of life is already impacted by it being *physically* less comfortable to live in my new heavier and less capable body. It's true that it's also *emotionally* less comfortable in my new heavier body (I was assumed/asked if I was pregnant twice in the last month, which has never happened to me before, and definitely stung), and we could certainly do with less of the body shaming of our society that feeds that, but it would be nice if we could find a way to reject the body shaming without simultaneously blowing off people's motivation to be healthier.

I have an autoimmune disease and I think the issue there is that there’s a lot of pseudoscience around the link between diet and disease. For example, gluten is absolutely vilified on the internet but my endo and ENT both said the evidence is not quite as black and white as the Internet would have you believe. Same thing with the AIP diet. The ENT even said she can’t recommend it in good conscience because it’s so restrictive, it’s not livable.

So, yes, while wellness is not necessarily about weight loss, it’s propped up by a lot of the same bunk science whether you’re talking about losing weight or healing your [whatever] by the magical powers of your gut.

The other thing that’s so fucked up about having an autoimmune disease is how many people who light up and say, “‘Maybe I have that!” when I tell them. Mine causes me to gain weight so I take a pill for that. The number of people who wish they could have my diagnosis in order to get a “weight loss pill” (which it obviously isn’t!) is astounding.

[mskitkat]

goldengirlz There needs to be so much more research around diet and various disorders. I wish that existed. No one can explain to me how eliminating dairy from my diet makes such a big difference. My doctors just shrug and tell me how lucky I am that I found something that works for me.

[goldengirlz]

Jun 11, 2019 16:08:20 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

goldengirlz There needs to be so much more research around diet and various disorders. I wish that existed. No one can explain to me how eliminating dairy from my diet makes such a big difference. My doctors just shrug and tell me how lucky I am that I found something that works for me.

Yes and I don’t mean to be dismissive of people who really do believe that cutting [whatever] cured their [whatever].* But sooo much of the info that’s out there is snake oil. There’s even debate in the medical community over whether “leaky gut” is a real thing.

Considering how hard it is to study anything diet-related, all these studies need massive caveats and qualifiers but you wouldn’t know it from googling.

*ETA: After all, there was even a study we talked about on this board a while back about how the best diet for a particular person might be determined by his or her genes. Really early but also fascinating research. There could be a very good reason for why cutting dairy helped you but that doesn’t mean it would work for everyone with your condition (I know you weren’t implying that!)

[fuckyourcouch]

Jun 11, 2019 15:59:42 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

Jun 11, 2019 14:09:00 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

I know this is kind of the opposite of the point of the article (maybe?), but I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of feeling judged by others who percieve any sort of dieting/wellness stuff as being all about looking thin (comments implying you are shallow or something), when you are trying to be healthier?

I got a lot of comments about how I didn't need to be on a diet last year when I was following the AIP diet trying to heal my pituitary gland. A lot of, "but you don't need to be on a diet" and "but you aren't fat" etc. I totally appreciate that people wanted me to feel better about my body and probably thought they were being supportive that way, but at the same time it was really frustrating to feel like people were blowing off my serious health problem I was hoping to address as a shallow vanity move. (The diet ultimately didn't seem to make any difference for my pituitary or hormones, so I stopped, but that's kind of beside the point.)

A year out, I'm 20 pounds heavier (hormone related?) and so ironically now interested in dieting for the more traditional reason of weight loss. But the assumption that it's about looking good still feels pretty hurtful to me. Regardless of whether this is "lifestyle" or "hormones" or "hormonal changes due to lifestyle" or "microplastics in my diet" or "tomatoes and legumes causing autoimmunity" or whatever, I am seriously concerned about the long term health implications of being overweight and especially of continuing to get more overweight. And my quality of life is already impacted by it being *physically* less comfortable to live in my new heavier and less capable body. It's true that it's also *emotionally* less comfortable in my new heavier body (I was assumed/asked if I was pregnant twice in the last month, which has never happened to me before, and definitely stung), and we could certainly do with less of the body shaming of our society that feeds that, but it would be nice if we could find a way to reject the body shaming without simultaneously blowing off people's motivation to be healthier.

I have an autoimmune disease and I think the issue there is that there’s a lot of pseudoscience around the link between diet and disease. For example, gluten is absolutely vilified on the internet but my endo and ENT both said the evidence is not quite as black and white as the Internet would have you believe. Same thing with the AIP diet. The ENT even said she can’t recommend it in good conscience because it’s so restrictive, it’s not livable.

So, yes, while wellness is not necessarily about weight loss, it’s propped up by a lot of the same bunk science whether you’re talking about losing weight or healing your [whatever] by the magical powers of your gut.

The other thing that’s so fucked up about having an autoimmune disease is how many people who light up and say, “‘Maybe I have that!” when I tell them. Mine causes me to gain weight so I take a pill for that. The number of people who wish they could have my diagnosis in order to get a “weight loss pill” (which it obviously isn’t!) is astounding.

My endo said the same thing. It’s just not sustainable - and more importantly I don’t feel any damn better following the AIP. but people sure love to tell you about it.

And yes, the number of times I’ve had the convo where people perk up and make it about themselves is exhausting.

[waverly]

Jun 11, 2019 14:09:00 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

I know this is kind of the opposite of the point of the article (maybe?), but I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of feeling judged by others who percieve any sort of dieting/wellness stuff as being all about looking thin (comments implying you are shallow or something), when you are trying to be healthier?

I got a lot of comments about how I didn't need to be on a diet last year when I was following the AIP diet trying to heal my pituitary gland. A lot of, "but you don't need to be on a diet" and "but you aren't fat" etc. I totally appreciate that people wanted me to feel better about my body and probably thought they were being supportive that way, but at the same time it was really frustrating to feel like people were blowing off my serious health problem I was hoping to address as a shallow vanity move. (The diet ultimately didn't seem to make any difference for my pituitary or hormones, so I stopped, but that's kind of beside the point.)

A year out, I'm 20 pounds heavier (hormone related?) and so ironically now interested in dieting for the more traditional reason of weight loss. But the assumption that it's about looking good still feels pretty hurtful to me. Regardless of whether this is "lifestyle" or "hormones" or "hormonal changes due to lifestyle" or "microplastics in my diet" or "tomatoes and legumes causing autoimmunity" or whatever, I am seriously concerned about the long term health implications of being overweight and especially of continuing to get more overweight. And my quality of life is already impacted by it being *physically* less comfortable to live in my new heavier and less capable body. It's true that it's also *emotionally* less comfortable in my new heavier body (I was assumed/asked if I was pregnant twice in the last month, which has never happened to me before, and definitely stung), and we could certainly do with less of the body shaming of our society that feeds that, but it would be nice if we could find a way to reject the body shaming without simultaneously blowing off people's motivation to be healthier.

There are certain things that I don't talk about with people because I am not interested in their comments or judgements.  And a lot of people are both ignorant in general and especially on health issues and opinionated, which is not a great combination.   But yeah, certain health issues that we have had to deal with I just let it be known that I don't want to discuss it.  Mine were less dietary, and we have some commenters in the work place on food, but I would just continue to not bring up the topic and shut it down when necessary because it is really none of their business.  And I have had comments on my size quite a bit college student/ thin to gaining weight for a medical reason that everybody felt the need to comment on, so I get it. It also helped to have a canned response sometimes even a bit snarky because it's annoying to respond to the same comment for the 80th time and then change the topic. When I was just a tad snarky or irritated they stopped bringing it up to me.  It helped that I had other people running interference for me as well.  Mostly this was in the workplace and with the general public (i.e. random old lady), but someone can also run interference for you with your friends and hopefully with your family you can be more direct with them. The people that are body shaming are the people that have the real issues, so it helps for me to be like man that person has issues.  And even the praise is super annoying because it is so great that you are so (insert the blank)- meanwhile life threatening medical issues over here, but fine praise my size while I am in the hospital (random old lady).