Newborn chatter

[hamster]

Aug 4, 2019 21:46:56 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

I am so irritable and having the hardest time with my 4-year-old.

This is my tipping point. I have ZERO patience for my toddler. I mean, he's a tough age anyway and getting molars, but I'm just not able to cope and really dont even enjoy being around him for the most part. And that makes me feel awful.

[hamster]

Aug 4, 2019 20:57:00 GMT -5 namasteak said:

((( hamster ))) will you talk to your OB or PCP? Even if you think it is mostly shitty situational stuff you deserve to feel better. Don’t underestimate the power of sleep deprivation either. I hope you can work out a way to get more sleep ❤️

At this point, no. I don't want meds and I suck at therapy.
I'm going to start with some extra sleep and go from there. I know I can't regulate my emotions when I'm over tired, so hoping that will at least take the edge off.

[namasteak]

Aug 4, 2019 21:46:56 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

Aug 4, 2019 20:47:10 GMT -5 hamster said:

I'm pretty sure I have some PPD
I think most is just shitty life stage problems, but it feels elevated beyond that.

I know lack of sleep is a driving factor. D will now be getting one bottle a day for training (we've been slacking and now he is struggling) with his first overnight bottle on Wednesday. Working on getting C used to his sound machine so D can move to his own room (with adjoining wall) this weekend.

We will go from there.

I am so sorry. I am coming to this realization for myself, too. I'm trying to decide what I need to do about it.

For me I think I just had a baby and never stopped...I started working again (I'm freelance, so it's not full time, but still) 3 weeks after S was born, then we moved a few weeks after that, then my in-laws came for a few weeks, then we took off on our own vacation after they left. Now I'm back and our new place is  a disaster, I definitely don't get enough sleep, and I feel like I just can't mom anymore. I am so irritable and having the hardest time with my 4-year-old. Also tons of anxiety. 

Is this something I go back to my OB about? Or my primary physician?

(Also sorry to quote and hijack...started typing and it all just came out)

First of all, hugs.

Second, You could talk to either dr. You could also reach out to postpartum support international for talk/text support, online groups or resources on their site.

[namasteak]

Aug 4, 2019 22:26:44 GMT -5 hamster said:

Aug 4, 2019 20:57:00 GMT -5 namasteak said:

((( hamster ))) will you talk to your OB or PCP? Even if you think it is mostly shitty situational stuff you deserve to feel better. Don’t underestimate the power of sleep deprivation either. I hope you can work out a way to get more sleep ❤️

At this point, no. I don't want meds and I suck at therapy.
I'm going to start with some extra sleep and go from there. I know I can't regulate my emotions when I'm over tired, so hoping that will at least take the edge off.

I hope so too!

FWIW, my therapist said that 5 hours of consecutive sleep 2 nights in a row helps your bodies seratonin levels enough it can really help with PPD. I know that really hard to do but wanted to share a non medication potential solution.

[latte]

Sorry hamster. I hope you are at least able to get some sleep. I know my lack of sleep is really causing me to not be a nice person and I feel like I really don’t get to enjoy my baby.

[pandorica]

How do I get my baby to sleep?! She used to be OK, and then hit what I'm assuming was the 4 month sleep regression and it all went to hell. She goes down relatively easily at bedtime now, but wakes up 2-3x/night to eat and refuses to go back down. Every time I put her down she wakes up and starts flailing and then crying. We're going crazy over here 😫

[aprilsails]

Aug 5, 2019 1:59:08 GMT -5 pandorica said:

How do I get my baby to sleep?! She used to be OK, and then hit what I'm assuming was the 4 month sleep regression and it all went to hell. She goes down relatively easily at bedtime now, but wakes up 2-3x/night to eat and refuses to go back down. Every time I put her down she wakes up and starts flailing and then crying. We're going crazy over here 😫

have you tried something like the zippadee zip style sleepers? If flailing is the issue I can see that sleeper helping, and they are generally considered safe for babies who can roll.

[hamster]

Aug 5, 2019 1:25:08 GMT -5 latte said:

Sorry hamster. I hope you are at least able to get some sleep. I know my lack of sleep is really causing me to not be a nice person and I feel like I really don’t get to enjoy my baby.

This is what I was saying to H. I always feel like there is something else I need to be doing and i never get to just enjoy him.

We actually had one of our best conversations ever tonight, which is encouraging.
Alas baby is sleeping even worse then normal after staying up talking until 1030. He is hitting my rem patterns hard tonight.

[pandorica]

Aug 5, 2019 3:32:46 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

Aug 5, 2019 1:59:08 GMT -5 pandorica said:

How do I get my baby to sleep?! She used to be OK, and then hit what I'm assuming was the 4 month sleep regression and it all went to hell. She goes down relatively easily at bedtime now, but wakes up 2-3x/night to eat and refuses to go back down. Every time I put her down she wakes up and starts flailing and then crying. We're going crazy over here 😫

have you tried something like the zippadee zip style sleepers? If flailing is the issue I can see that sleeper helping, and they are generally considered safe for babies who can roll.

I haven't, I'll give that a try! Thanks!

[zarapipe]

oB can definitely help. I was shocked this time when I got a call from a nurse at my OBs office last week, about 2 weeks pp. she had standard questions to ask but one was if I had baby blues and How I was doing emotionally. I thought that was great to call. 6 weeks is far to long pp to talk to the OB again.

In other news my mother left from her visit and I’m so relieved. We have an interesting relationship and I’m glad to have the house back to just us.

[pooh8402]

Aug 5, 2019 1:59:08 GMT -5 pandorica said:

How do I get my baby to sleep?! She used to be OK, and then hit what I'm assuming was the 4 month sleep regression and it all went to hell. She goes down relatively easily at bedtime now, but wakes up 2-3x/night to eat and refuses to go back down. Every time I put her down she wakes up and starts flailing and then crying. We're going crazy over here 😫

Same! I'm on cup #3 of coffee here.

He's not flailing or anything. I have him in the halo swaddlesacks with his arms out. He just wants to nurse.

[pooh8402]

And I forgot my damn pump parts at home. Thank goodness I keep a hand pump in my work bag but ugh.

[Susie]

OMG, I just got to my office 1/2 hour late because DS just had the blowout to end all blowouts at drop off.  I cannot believe my dress and his car seat came out unscathed.  His shorts were so full of poo that I picked him up and came away with a handful.  Waistband to hem.  It came out the leg hole of the diaper.  By the time he was done, I had cleaned him from elbow to foot, diapered, dressed in spare clothes, then rinsed his clothes and cleaned the crime scene of a changing table.  H did his last diaper change at home, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't fluff the leg ruffles.  This is a reoccurring problem.  I am tired of paying the price.

This is after DS was up having a baby party at 3am and wouldn't go back to sleep... and after he and DD took turns yesterday so that I literally didn't have a moment all day when I wasn't hands on with one, the other, or both.  They were both impossible.  I am tapped out and exhausted and it's not even 10am Monday.

[pandorica]

Aug 5, 2019 7:52:58 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Aug 5, 2019 1:59:08 GMT -5 pandorica said:

How do I get my baby to sleep?! She used to be OK, and then hit what I'm assuming was the 4 month sleep regression and it all went to hell. She goes down relatively easily at bedtime now, but wakes up 2-3x/night to eat and refuses to go back down. Every time I put her down she wakes up and starts flailing and then crying. We're going crazy over here 😫

Same! I'm on cup #3 of coffee here.

He's not flailing or anything. I have him in the halo swaddlesacks with his arms out. He just wants to nurse.

I'm sorry you're dealing with it too! How old is he?

I haven't had any coffee yet today, going across the street to get it seems so far haha

[lillaguma]

Aug 4, 2019 22:11:17 GMT -5 hamster said:

Aug 4, 2019 21:46:56 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

I am so irritable and having the hardest time with my 4-year-old.

This is my tipping point. I have ZERO patience for my toddler. I mean, he's a tough age anyway and getting molars, but I'm just not able to cope and really dont even enjoy being around him for the most part. And that makes me feel awful.

It's so so hard. I feel like we used to be best buddies and have so much fun together, and now I'm just a crabby, mean mom. She has made comments about liking Daddy more and shown obvious preference for him which also hurts me, because I prefer him more too now. 

[pooh8402]

Aug 5, 2019 9:10:35 GMT -5 pandorica said:

Aug 5, 2019 7:52:58 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Same! I'm on cup #3 of coffee here.

He's not flailing or anything. I have him in the halo swaddlesacks with his arms out. He just wants to nurse.

I'm sorry you're dealing with it too! How old is he?

I haven't had any coffee yet today, going across the street to get it seems so far haha

4.5 months. It's definitely the 4 month regression. I've been trying to Ferber him but it's much harder MOTN.

[pooh8402]

Aug 5, 2019 9:55:25 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

Aug 4, 2019 22:11:17 GMT -5 hamster said:

This is my tipping point. I have ZERO patience for my toddler. I mean, he's a tough age anyway and getting molars, but I'm just not able to cope and really dont even enjoy being around him for the most part. And that makes me feel awful.

It's so so hard. I feel like we used to be best buddies and have so much fun together, and now I'm just a crabby, mean mom. She has made comments about liking Daddy more and shown obvious preference for him which also hurts me, because I prefer him more too now. 

Same. He's made the same comments to me. However, DH says he does the same when I'm not around. "Stop being mean Daddy! I like mommy more." It's basically just anyone someone tells him no, we're "being mean" and he runs and tattles to the other parent. I wouldn't take it personal.

[hamster]

I had a pretty good day today. C was in a decent mood, we went swimming in the pool, h is off work hypothetically all week, etc. I even managed an hour nap.

Tomorrow the three of us are going to brave the grocery store. I think getting out more, while extremely stressful, will be good for me.

[noodleoo]

Aug 4, 2019 22:11:17 GMT -5 hamster said:

Aug 4, 2019 21:46:56 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

I am so irritable and having the hardest time with my 4-year-old.

This is my tipping point. I have ZERO patience for my toddler. I mean, he's a tough age anyway and getting molars, but I'm just not able to cope and really dont even enjoy being around him for the most part. And that makes me feel awful.

I felt the same way until DD2 started sleeping more than 3 hours at a time (which took WAY longer than I expected). This study came out while I was on maternity leave and it makes perfect sense to me. It shows there is a real correlation between a lack of sleep and not being able to tolerate frustrating situations. I really noticed when I was sleep deprived that I had no patience to DD1. She's always frustrating, but when I have slept well I'm able to deal with her patiently and lovingly. When I was sleep deprived, I would get SO frustrated by her and found myself yelling so much more. Then I'd feel guilty for not being a better parent. It helped a little to know it is a physical reaction and not just a lack of willpower. And it definitely passed once I started getting more sleep.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/11/181127111101.htm

I hope you feel better.  Definitely get your H to take the kids so you can nap.  I even considered going to a hotel for a night just to get one night of uninterrupted sleep.  I didn't, but I really should have.  

[hamster]

Thank you so much for that article noodleoo! While rationally I know a lack of sleep is a main contributor, I cant help but feel like a terrible mom when I cant tolerate my toddler. Having science back me up is reassuring.

We all made it to the store and back with minimal issue, and Friday the four of us are going to go do something fun.

[Susie]

I am also struggling with being constantly frustrated by my 3 yo DD, so thanks noodleoo for that article.

To be fair she is doing some obnoxious stuff - mostly fighting sleep, at nap, at bedtime, and waking up early, all at the same time and all pretty recent. OMG. IDGAF if you actually sleep but I need you to be quiet in your room so I can get some down time!! She's been trying to get up before the ok to wake clock beeps, and I'm like -- MOMMY WANTS TO SHOWER ALONE! I WOKE UP EARLY TO DO THIS! LET ME!

Among other irritations.

Also? I thought I was touched out when DD was a baby, but whoa this is next level. Not only do I have a nursing infant, but I have a preschooler climbing all over me while nursing. H is not pleased, but by the time I get to bed, I'm ready for a masking tape line down the bed, which he is not to cross!

[hamster]

My mom keeps asking if I want certain houseplants. No, I do not want to be responsible for keeping one more thing alive!

[hamster]

Aug 7, 2019 17:03:05 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Aug 7, 2019 15:33:44 GMT -5 hamster said:

My mom keeps asking if I want certain houseplants. No, I do not want to be responsible for keeping one more thing alive!

When my MIL came to visit DD like 3 days after she was born, she brought me an orchid and some plants that needed to be planted outdoors but no containers to do so. Facepalm.

Also, she’s given me maybe 2 orchids prior to that, and if she paid attention she’d realize I’ve kept none of them alive. LOL. Why would you try for the third time literally right when I’m hobbling around sitting on ice packs??

She also brought me two plants when my foot was broken. How exactly am I going to water something when I cant even walk? One didnt make it long, the other made it until shortly after C was born. Plants are not always a good gift!

[Patsy Baloney]

Aug 7, 2019 15:33:44 GMT -5 hamster said:

My mom keeps asking if I want certain houseplants. No, I do not want to be responsible for keeping one more thing alive!

This is why I haven’t committed to getting sour dough starter.

[pooh8402]

Aug 7, 2019 18:51:26 GMT -5 Patsy Baloney said:

Aug 7, 2019 15:33:44 GMT -5 hamster said:

My mom keeps asking if I want certain houseplants. No, I do not want to be responsible for keeping one more thing alive!

This is why I haven’t committed to getting sour dough starter.

Ha yea that last like a week with me.

Another plant killer here too. I even kill knockout roses (they're supposed to be super hardy).

[hamster]

Aug 7, 2019 20:23:20 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Aug 7, 2019 18:51:26 GMT -5 Patsy Baloney said:

This is why I haven’t committed to getting sour dough starter.

Ha yea that last like a week with me.

Another plant killer here too. I even kill knockout roses (they're supposed to be super hardy).

Dead cacti signing in.

I have a peace Lily that has a serious will to live or it wouldn't be here either. It's impressive how many times I've accidentally tried to kill it.

[latte]

We went to the doctor today for a refill on DD’s reflux medication and the doctor said we need to work on pushing her feeds to be further apart, since she is still eating about 10-11x a day. Hopefully that goes well and she starts to consistently sleep for longer periods.

[katespade]

We're in teething hell over here. Finally got DD down at 10:30 last night, and my usually great sleeper has been up at 12:30, 2:30, and 4:30 so far. Poor little girl.

[pooh8402]

Aug 8, 2019 8:51:10 GMT -5 katespade said:

We're in teething hell over here. Finally got DD down at 10:30 last night, and my usually great sleeper has been up at 12:30, 2:30, and 4:30 so far. Poor little girl.

Are you giving her ibuprofen before bed? That usually helped give us an 8 hour stretch.

[katespade]

Aug 8, 2019 9:25:41 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Aug 8, 2019 8:51:10 GMT -5 katespade said:

We're in teething hell over here. Finally got DD down at 10:30 last night, and my usually great sleeper has been up at 12:30, 2:30, and 4:30 so far. Poor little girl.

Are you giving her ibuprofen before bed? That usually helped give us an 8 hour stretch.

Last night was the first time it's impacted her sleep, so we haven't been giving her meds before bed. We only have Tylenol in the cupboard... is that okay for teething pain, or should I go to the store and get ibuprofen today?