Happy Monday!

[gault]

How was everyone's weekend?

I ended up getting a job offer on Thursday afternoon, and i accepted on Friday! Woohoo!

Turning in my notice in a few hours, which is always awkward.

[tiramisu]

HOORAY gault!!!! I'm thrilled to hear it!!



My weekend was good. I got some productive things done around the apartment, had fun, and rested.

One of the things the dating coaching program I'm in pointed out is that we should treat ourselves the way we want a partner to treat us. So little things, like not leaving your socks laying around either or buying yourself flowers, are things we can we doing. So I'm taking it to heart and looking for ways I can shift my behavior. Like cooking for myself more often. And I've decided to learn to make tiramisu. I'm hoping that I can teach myself to make it so it's as good as the one made by one of my cousins in Italy.

[cleo29]

it was OK. I had a bad day on Friday, seeing the OW at the pool. I do love seeing that her skin looks like shit, worse than usual. It was my birthday on Saturday and I went to eat and then to see an 80s cover band with friends, which was a blast.

I don't know... I find myself just trying so hard to work through all of these feelings. I do want to work on things with H, as much as that might baffle people. I do not think this affair is a true testament to who he really is. I do think he is a good person who made an enormous mistake, but having to live with her down the road, seeing her at the pool or at the school is so, so hard. So, dealing with that.

[bullygirl979]

cleo29, hugs. And happy birthday!

[bullygirl979]

Congrats, gault!

[bullygirl979]

Weekend was good!

Friday night we had a wedding, which was really fun. What was not fun was waking up early on Saturday and going for a long run when the heat index made it feel like 95 and I was slightly hungover and completely exhausted. Ha! I lounged the rest of the day and watched The Upside Saturday night. Sunday was another run in hot as balls weather and more relaxing.

[doriswe]

It was a tough weekend. We went to a country music festival on Friday night and not only was it a billion degrees, we also had crazy storms blow through. I ended up with a killer headache that ended up hanging on all weekend. Add to that stabbing stomach pain and nausea. I was a hoot all weekend. Went in to ER yesterday and got meds and IV fluids. Slept most of the day away but feel like a human again, today.

I’m on vacation all week so I’m thrilled to not be at work. Plus I’m navigated observing another court, in the city DD lives in, so part of my time off is paid (miles + hours). Taking the kids to Hamilton on Wednesday.

[downtoearth]

I got divorced! Link to my thanks to CEP here, but I really THANK YOU GUYS too!!! Just venting here and seeing life after divorce in these weekend posts has helped so much!!! You guys have helped so much.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/611774/ncep-divorced-progress

So my weekend was about avoiding being in my small town, but really wonderful. I knew I would need to just be away b/c it was my first weekend without the kids AND the first weekend after the divorce, and I'm not ready to spend 5 days in my house without kids yet - I'll get there, but I need to give myself time. I also had lots of people who wanted to be with me. So in short...my weekend was filled with great people and fun.

Long Version:
First I had a celebration glass of wine with two of my closest friends in a backyard early on Friday. They have been my rocks. I came home to find a new (smaller) tent that I had bought myself had arrived.

Next I packed real quick and headed out to another friend's birthday party campout on a lake. We ate food, drank until 1am and mostly laughed. It was all couples... and me, but I didn't mind at all. I felt happy and part of things. Plus I woke up early a little freaked out and ended up paddle boarding to an island on the lake and back - about 1hr 45 min of solitude and exercise in a beautiful place. Had breakfast and snuck out as they started the bloody mary bar (which looked amazing).

I drove about 2-2.5 hours away to hang out with my sister in two different small towns. She is on tour, with one other actor, for this activist play around our state. I was their roadie who helped set-up, got them coffees, got to watch the play again, and have some drinks and great talks/laughter. I am so smitten with the other actor and he flirts back - we have been texting too and we were able to spend about 3 hours just talking (well, 1.5 hours was running and talking in the trails and along the river near the town and another 1.5 just walking and having lunch). Plus my sister is amazing and funny and always knows the right thing to say to make us laugh. And some of her friends came to the second night of the show and were also great to hang out with. It was lovely.

I loaned the other actor my camping gear since he has a couple days off and advice to head out to a certain camp spot to regroup and relax (the play is great, but intense and emotional). I am hoping that he stays at my house later this week when he has a couple days off near me, and since my sister is teaching a theatre camp this week before they head out to another part of the tour. I think he's going to, which is so exciting and also frightening. I'm just seeing what happens. [shrug]

Then I met XH in another little town, and grabbed the kiddos and dropped two of them off at my sister's theatre camp in her town, and headed back to my town. So I was gone from about 4pm Friday to 1am Monday. So much traveling, listening to good music, connection with amazing people who I don't have to talk about kids or XH with, all coupled with outdoors fun. Great weekend.

[downtoearth]

gault , congrats. How did the notice go?

tiramisu , good advice on treating ourselves with love and attention. I love that your going to be an expert at your namesake.

cleo29, hugs. Happy Birthday - sounds like your girlfriends are amazing! So sorry you had a tough time.

Since telling the kids in early June, I see XH and his GF at least once a week out and about - randomly - once 3 times in one week. It sucks and I'm still not good at it. I inadvertently glare or have to take a lot of deep breaths and it hasn't gotten easier. I am trying some things the counselor told me, but not doing great. It sucks worse to see my kids with her. Ugh. I don't have the same feeling when I see XH about 3 times per week without her. My town is so small - I can't avoid this. I also can't see willingly staying in a community if you had options to move to another school or pool community, while trying/contemplating reconciliation. Have you talked with H and your counselor about being serious about being away from that?

[doglove]

No complaints from me except the heat as well, went to Asheville for work and had a migraine most of the time so I couldn’t enjoy it too much. Came home and mostly relaxed. I am still running, but my body did not enjoy an early morning run yesterday in the heat. I already can’t wait for fall.

[tiramisu]

Happy Birthday cleo29! And lots of hugs, too. I'm sorry you had a tough day. I do get wanting to try to work it out. It unfortunately didn't end up working for me, but I'm glad I tried with my XH, because really it was for me. And you have to make the best decision for you. I'm sorry you have to see her around.


downtoearth congrats on the divorce being final!! Your weekend sounded amazing. I'm glad that hearing about life after divorce was helpful for you and that you had such a good plan for that first weekend.

[cleo29]

THanks, tiramisu,. I found out yesterday that she is now claiming that all this "mean girl, high school behavior in the neighborhood" is ridiculous and that people are now being mean to her kids. this is such bullshit. No one is being mean to her kids. People might not have really cared too much for her before and now want very little to do with her, but that is due to her actions. These are the consequences and she is still blaming others, including me, for how the fall out is going. I am so mad my stomach is sick.

And all of this because she baked 48 cupcakes for her son's birthday, i think thinking that people would swarm the table wanting one, and she left with at least half left. NO one is telling their kids not to take one. Her lack of ownership is stunning.

[gault]

Jul 22, 2019 15:13:40 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

gault , congrats. How did the notice go?

tiramisu , good advice on treating ourselves with love and attention. I love that your going to be an expert at your namesake.

cleo29, hugs. Happy Birthday - sounds like your girlfriends are amazing! So sorry you had a tough time.

Since telling the kids in early June, I see XH and his GF at least once a week out and about - randomly - once 3 times in one week. It sucks and I'm still not good at it. I inadvertently glare or have to take a lot of deep breaths and it hasn't gotten easier. I am trying some things the counselor told me, but not doing great. It sucks worse to see my kids with her. Ugh. I don't have the same feeling when I see XH about 3 times per week without her. My town is so small - I can't avoid this. I also can't see willingly staying in a community if you had options to move to another school or pool community, while trying/contemplating reconciliation. Have you talked with H and your counselor about being serious about being away from that?

The first thing my boss said when i told her was "I've invested a lot in you". But that she understands since the company is in a perilous situation. We'll see how the next few weeks go! Thanks for asking.

Congrats on your big life changes- you have been so capable and kickass through the whole process and i foresee such a great few years ahead of you!

[kaneen]

Welp, it's Tuesday but I'll play too.

My weekend was very low key with lots of relaxing. Friday night I took my parent's out to dinner as a little thank you for letting me stay with them during my renovation. Saturday I did laundry and went paint and wallpaper shopping. Sunday I spent some time on the beach and then packed for a trip. Sunday night was travel.

I'm going to Boston this weekend to visit a guy I met a few months ago. We met when I was on a work trip in Boston and then just started talking and texting a lot. He invited me to come up for a visit so I'm going. I'm staying in this beautiful hotel that used to be a jail. He's planned a bunch of touristy stuff for us to do so I'm excited to see the city and to get to know him better.