My kids, being kids, are egocentric and they've completely confused the idea of date night.
When we have date night, my mom watches them. But they misunderstood from a young age and think of it as them having date night - so they call it "grandma date night." It's gotten to the point where if I'm busy for the evening, they call it "daddy date night." If my husband makes it home for dinner (which happens about once a week) it's "family date night" and the default - just me and them "mommy date night."
We let it go at first because we thought it sounded funny (like other strange kid sayings) and now it just sounds normal.
Date night = "regular dinner at home with the designated adult, practice piano, do homework and read a few stories."
This doesn't sound at all weird or creepy. What I've seen that's a bit out there is Daddy and daughter date nights. Dressed up, flowers for her and some dance or dinner out. It's weird.
I don't think that's creepy or weird at all. It's usually in the context of fathers teaching their daughters how they should be treated on a date (with respect) so that they will hopefully avoid assholes when they're older.
My friends that act like their husbands can't help but be lazy and unhelpful - like "that's just who they are as people so I guess my life has to suck forever because of it". It also happens to be the same friends that think "boys will be boys" and that's why their sons are little monsters. I just want to yell, "ALL THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE ARE PLAYING YOU! WAKE UP!"
It impacts me not at all, but it makes me so angry.
I’ve always interpreted that the teacher is saying they are all “friends” to each other — not that the children are the teacher’s “friends.”
Oh I say “my friends” all of the time! Yes, we are all friends . A classroom family.
This came up not too long ago in another post. It's such an individual thing. DSs 3rd grade teacher called the kids "friends" and I liked it. It was the first time I heard it. My son didn't walk out of 3rd grade thinking he and his teacher were buddies.
She would use it, for example, to get everyone to look at her - "O.k. friends, let's all look up front", or "Ok friends, next we're going to do ___". I felt it was a nice way to grab their attention. What else should they use? "Hey kids/ everyone/ boys and girls"? Sure, those would work too- but "friends" just sounds a lot nicer to me and more inclusive/ personal.
Yes! And I'll raise you with people who address people on social media when they aren't there (children, dead people, etc.).
THEY CAN'T READ YOUR POSTS!!!
Oh this irritates me too. I have a close friend who always does a big sappy post to her parents for birthdays, anniversaries, etc, but neither of them are on social media. IDK why it bugs me, but it just seems like AW behavior since it is clearly not actually intended for the people she is supposedly wishing well to.
To take this a step further - I have a FB friend who's father A- isn't on FB and B- has dementia. She posts about him a LOT. Now - I suspect that some of it is cathartic for her. I don't want to totally judge her for it. But I do also wonder if her father would be o.k with this. My dad has dementia and OH MY GOD how upset he would be if I plastered it, including pics of him, all over FB.
There is really a level of privacy there that concerns me.
My friends that act like their husbands can't help but be lazy and unhelpful - like "that's just who they are as people so I guess my life has to suck forever because of it". It also happens to be the same friends that think "boys will be boys" and that's why their sons are little monsters. I just want to yell, "ALL THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE ARE PLAYING YOU! WAKE UP!"
It impacts me not at all, but it makes me so angry.
Except it does because those people are walking around and shaping our society. It should piss you off.
I’ve always interpreted that the teacher is saying they are all “friends” to each other — not that the children are the teacher’s “friends.”
At our pre-school it’s also a way of not gendering they kids. Rather than “ok, boys and girls...” it’s, “ok, friends, please line up.” It also encourages the kids to use that language, so DS1 will come home and say, “I played with a new friend at school today.” I actually like it. I think it encourages them to think about their peers in friendly terms and helps reduce the divide between sexes.
Late to the party, but this ^^. I teach MS and I use "friends" instead of "guys." I tried "folks" for awhile but it just didn't work for me.
When people thank their children for choosing them to be their parents. They didn’t chose you!!!
Yes! And I'll raise you with people who address people on social media when they aren't there (children, dead people, etc.).
THEY CAN'T READ YOUR POSTS!!!
My SIL used to wish my DH a happy birthday on her own timeline with this long, loving post about how awesome he is, blah, blah, blah. Total AW. My DH doesn't and hasn't EVER had any kind of social media accounts. He wouldn't ever see it and it would drive me bonkers.
We do a "Secret Santa" with my in-laws and give a wishlist when our name is drawn. So we're basically in a room, unwrapping gifts THAT WE WANTED and then have to guess who gave us the gift. A lot of men write down gift cards. Wat???
I mean, I'd rather save my money and not trade gifts at all. I can buy my own shit on my list.
We've tried the White Elephant exchange and that didn't go over too well. What is wrong with people??? Why do we have to exchange gifts/GC's? Why can we just give the kids gifts and save our money?!? #RatchetsetForLyfe #Baughhumbug
We have a pool. It is a rectangle. My yard is also a rectangle. I just found the as built survey we had of the yard when we redid the pool house and have learned that my pool is not squared up to the side of the yard. As in, it's slightly crooked.
I've lived here 10 years and clearly never noticed but now it's all I think about when I look back there.
I have a similar problem!!! We have an above ground septic system (rectangle) in our rectangle yard. When they were digging to install they explained that my property line wasn't completely straight but the structure had to be 10 feet of the property line. They asked if I wanted it square to the house or square to the property line (which would give me the most usable yard) so I opted for the latter. I wish I had lost a few feet and made it square to the house. It is a 30 year system so it will be like that for at least 25 more! this was 5 years ago and still bugs me!!!
When my mom says “He doesn’t do this for us” whenever my son does something like refuses food or throws a temper tantrum.
Well, he doesn’t do it for me, so it must be you. Because when he screams, you give him what he wants, like a different meal or animal crackers. That doesn’t happen in my house. He IS doing it for you. So STFU before I completely lose my shit.
This doesn't sound at all weird or creepy. What I've seen that's a bit out there is Daddy and daughter date nights. Dressed up, flowers for her and some dance or dinner out. It's weird.
I don't think that's creepy or weird at all. It's usually in the context of fathers teaching their daughters how they should be treated on a date (with respect) so that they will hopefully avoid assholes when they're older.
I don't have strong feelings about this, but I meant it in the same context that someone else said that a mommy son going on a date was weird. The kids initiating that language amongst themselves is different than than a father posting on facebook that he is taking his daughter out on a date. But I also don't think fathers or mothers have to take their small children out on actual dates to teach them how they should be treated when out on a dinner date years from now. When someone is behaving awfully on television we tell our son "don't date anyone who treats you like that".
In conclusion (lol) no, you're right it isn't creepy. I may eyeroll a bit, but not more than all the other things that make me roll my eyes on facebook.
I think I'm seeing these things as personal annoyances, not things that others should stop doing immediately. I don't care what kind words teachers use with their students. But a kindergarten teacher did call the class "friends" and the word grated on me as well. Not that I thought she shouldn't use it, there was just something about it I hated hearing.
When people thank their children for choosing them to be their parents. They didn’t chose you!!!
Yes! And I'll raise you with people who address people on social media when they aren't there (children, dead people, etc.).
THEY CAN'T READ YOUR POSTS!!!
Eh. I can see your point for children, but for people who are dead I see it as more of a “putting it out into the universe” that may be therapeutic. Knowing the person can’t read it, and knowing one can’t speak directly to the person anymore .... I don’t judge that at all.
I have an employee that keeps asking for more hours, but she has taken at least 4 weeks off since August to help out a relative who had a baby and some other health issues (not covered under FMLA). She helps out the relative every other week but was every week for a while for half the week. I guess I don't understand how she can work more hours when she is never available on the other work days, and is constantly asking for days off. Am I supposed to be keeping track of what week she is available if it is every other? I just don't have the bandwidth to keep track of other people's personal schedules.
ETA- She might be covered under FMLA, so maybe I should get HR involved and have her document the medical necessity. They can't find anything wrong with the relative, so.... Does that documentation work when they can't find anything wrong?
When I defriend people on FB and they refriend me lol. I hardly post on FB, I mostly use IG. If I didn’t have so many pics on there I’d get rid of it all together.
I had this problem with groups. People kept adding me to groups without my permission. I would take myself off the group because I am pretty picky about what groups I am in. I don't want to be in judgy mom groups (I think that blew up), sorority alumni groups that all of sudden start debating abortion because someone posted a job opening, or endless amounts of boutiques. So I would remove myself quietly, and they would keep adding me back on. One person did this 5 times to a boutique group- I am not here to buy clothing. Finally FB changed the settings because I think I get to approve now before I get added to the group, and when I leave I think I can say they can't add me back.
When I defriend people on FB and they refriend me lol. I hardly post on FB, I mostly use IG. If I didn’t have so many pics on there I’d get rid of it all together.
I found out 2 people unfriended me when FB recommended them as friends to me. When I blow my nose, you put a tissue ad on the screen, but you can't tell that these people don't want to be my friends? LOL
We do a "Secret Santa" with my in-laws and give a wishlist when our name is drawn. So we're basically in a room, unwrapping gifts THAT WE WANTED and then have to guess who gave us the gift. A lot of men write down gift cards. Wat???
I mean, I'd rather save my money and not trade gifts at all. I can buy my own shit on my list.
We've tried the White Elephant exchange and that didn't go over too well. What is wrong with people??? Why do we have to exchange gifts/GC's? Why can we just give the kids gifts and save our money?!? #RatchetsetForLyfe #Baughhumbug
This would irritate me too. At my last job, we did a secret santa thing and sometimes the final gift would be a giftcard. It seems pointless. If I wanted to spend $15 at Target I could have just skipped the gift exchange and spent $15 of my own money.
I think gifts as adults are weird, period. My H and I go back and forth on exchanging gifts or not, partly because he hates shopping and wants me to give him a list. Which is fine, but we have a joint bank account so if he's just going to buy me exactly what I've picked out, it would probably be easier to just buy it myself. I guess it provides an "excuse" to spend money I likely wouldn't spend on myself, but it seems like a stupid ritual too.
When I defriend people on FB and they refriend me lol. I hardly post on FB, I mostly use IG. If I didn’t have so many pics on there I’d get rid of it all together.
I found out 2 people unfriended me when FB recommended them as friends to me. When I blow my nose, you put a tissue ad on the screen, but you can't tell that these people don't want to be my friends? LOL
Right? And hey FB - when I have someone hidden on my friends list and something happens in their life and they make a post that garners 100+ comments - how about your send me a little notification? Because it's pretty obvious I have them hidden when I am the only one on the planet that didn't know they got married/had a baby/had a death in the family.
I get way too emotionally invested in things that have nothing to do with me. Tonight I was at target and they were arresting a woman for shoplifting. I started crying because I felt so badly for her. She took children’s Tylenol. I went up to the officers and offered to pay for the Tylenol, and instead they started berating me and telling me to stop interfering with their investigation. They were literally manhandling her and treating her so terribly, over such a small thing. I definitely don’t condone shoplifting, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Yesterday, at the airport, there was a woman with the lost bag and they were giving her the runaround. Since I fly a lot, I offered to step in and try to talk to them. She was very grateful. My husband was super annoyed though because it took an extra 30 minutes. Basically, I think I care too much about things and other people, and while I don’t think that that’s a bad character trait, I probably should spend more time on things that actually affect me.
This sucks, I once saw a woman getting arrested for shoplifting baby formula, ftr I think you sound like a very kind & compassionate person.
I have an employee that keeps asking for more hours, but she has taken at least 4 weeks off since August to help out a relative who had a baby and some other health issues (not covered under FMLA). She helps out the relative every other week but was every week for a while for half the week. I guess I don't understand how she can work more hours when she is never available on the other work days, and is constantly asking for days off. Am I supposed to be keeping track of what week she is available if it is every other? I just don't have the bandwidth to keep track of other people's personal schedules.
ETA- She might be covered under FMLA, so maybe I should get HR involved and have her document the medical necessity. They can't find anything wrong with the relative, so.... Does that documentation work when they can't find anything wrong?
To use FMLA you'd need documentation that she was out to help someone in their family with a health related issue. There doesn't necessarily need to be a diagnosis, just proof from a doctor that the person has been experiencing a "serious health condition". If you aren't sure if whatever is going on qualifies, she should submit the paperwork to HR and they can make a determination.
She would also need to work a minimum of 1040 hours a year in order to be eligible for FMLA. If she's part time she may not qualify.
All that said, I agree its unreasonable for her to ask for more hours when she's unavailable to work. I'd ask her what she can commit to and what her expectations are in asking this. I don't know what your field is or what the structure is, but I do think that if you have a variable schedule and you're the scheduler, it is reasonable to expect you to keep track of her availability (but she needs to provide it to you in detail, you shouldn't have to chase after her for it!).
I have an employee that keeps asking for more hours, but she has taken at least 4 weeks off since August to help out a relative who had a baby and some other health issues (not covered under FMLA). She helps out the relative every other week but was every week for a while for half the week. I guess I don't understand how she can work more hours when she is never available on the other work days, and is constantly asking for days off. Am I supposed to be keeping track of what week she is available if it is every other? I just don't have the bandwidth to keep track of other people's personal schedules.
ETA- She might be covered under FMLA, so maybe I should get HR involved and have her document the medical necessity. They can't find anything wrong with the relative, so.... Does that documentation work when they can't find anything wrong?
To use FMLA you'd need documentation that she was out to help someone in their family with a health related issue. There doesn't necessarily need to be a diagnosis, just proof from a doctor that the person has been experiencing a "serious health condition".
Yes - My husband got FMLA leave time to help care for his father who never got a diagnosis. Still don't know what it was, just that it was fatal.
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
I have an employee that keeps asking for more hours, but she has taken at least 4 weeks off since August to help out a relative who had a baby and some other health issues (not covered under FMLA). She helps out the relative every other week but was every week for a while for half the week. I guess I don't understand how she can work more hours when she is never available on the other work days, and is constantly asking for days off. Am I supposed to be keeping track of what week she is available if it is every other? I just don't have the bandwidth to keep track of other people's personal schedules.
ETA- She might be covered under FMLA, so maybe I should get HR involved and have her document the medical necessity. They can't find anything wrong with the relative, so.... Does that documentation work when they can't find anything wrong?
To use FMLA you'd need documentation that she was out to help someone in their family with a health related issue. There doesn't necessarily need to be a diagnosis, just proof from a doctor that the person has been experiencing a "serious health condition". If you aren't sure if whatever is going on qualifies, she should submit the paperwork to HR and they can make a determination.
She would also need to work a minimum of 1040 hours a year in order to be eligible for FMLA. If she's part time she may not qualify.
All that said, I agree its unreasonable for her to ask for more hours when she's unavailable to work. I'd ask her what she can commit to and what her expectations are in asking this. I don't know what your field is or what the structure is, but I do think that if you have a variable schedule and you're the scheduler, it is reasonable to expect you to keep track of her availability (but she needs to provide it to you in detail, you shouldn't have to chase after her for it!).
She is part time, and I don't think works 1000 hours. Also it is unpaid leave, but I guess that is what FMLA is. It is not a variable schedule. It is a set schedule, but sometimes people fill in for sick/ vacations. She is gone every other week, so you are saying I should perhaps note in my calendar which weeks. I am reluctant, but I guess I can easily set it up in google as a every other week repeat. Then yes on the other weeks I can ask her first, I guess. And sometimes it is people switching so it is not me asking but co-workers helping each other out, but I am the scheduler, yes. Also, a lot of times she is working on the other days, so obviously I can't ask her to fill in for someone else because she is already there. I am not sure she totally understands how it works, I mean I think she understands partially, but hasn't really thought it through that if she is gone half the time, and already working the other time, then how can she fill in? In order to take more non-variable hours she would have to tell relative I will no longer visit you every other week, and that person will certainly push back on that (free childcare), but that is none of my business at the end of the day. I just don't see employee saying sorry I won't help you to her relative.
Here’s a really irrational one. DH starts every (non work) call with “What are you doing?” YOU CALLED ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT. It irritated me most when I was at work. I’m working, dingus.