@ WWYD Classroom collecting donations for religious charity

[pixy0stix]

This is a weird thing for a public school class to do. I wouldn't say anything more on the FB page (because Karens are gonna Karen), but I'd reach out to the teachers. What they do on their private time is different than what they want the class to participate in.

[heyjude]

The whole thing feels? Patronizing? I can’t put my finger on it....?

[heyjude]

Like if I was a mom who needed help with a young baby I think I would feel even shittier knowing I was a class project for a bunch of 7 year olds.

[wanderingback]

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.
But to be clear, is this an official school event or just something that is posted on a non-school sponsored facebook page?
Not that I don't think you should say more either way, just about who to approach.

Is charitable giving a thing that is typically happening in elementary schools these days?
While obviously I see the point in teaching kids to give back, charitable giving is such a personal thing that even if not religious could be problematic.

[meganew]

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:04 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Jan 22, 2020 20:43:28 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Apparently, this was organized by the three second-grade teachers, after the three of them volunteered there on MLK Day.

This is also super weird. Asking their students and their families to donate to a random cause they happen to e involved in on their own time? Weird.

Yeah, as a teacher I can’t ever imagine doing this. And I can’t imagine the school itself being ok with it.

[meganew]

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.
But to be clear, is this an official school event or just something that is posted on a non-school sponsored facebook page?
Not that I don't think you should say more either way, just about who to approach.

Is charitable giving a thing that is typically happening in elementary schools these days?
While obviously I see the point in teaching kids to give back, charitable giving is such a personal thing that even if not religious could be problematic.

Anecdotal- but the school I work at does various fundraisers throughout the year and the kids partake in helping to raise money/bring in goods, but it always goes back to families in the neighborhood or at the school. The money is raised and there for families who may need it within the community- like we had a student lose a parent suddenly and those funds paid for the funeral costs. I don’t think we’ve ever given money to an outside organization.

[redheadbaker]

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.
But to be clear, is this an official school event or just something that is posted on a non-school sponsored facebook page?
Not that I don't think you should say more either way, just about who to approach.

Is charitable giving a thing that is typically happening in elementary schools these days?
While obviously I see the point in teaching kids to give back, charitable giving is such a personal thing that even if not religious could be problematic.

It's like a weird gray area. It's not really an official school event, but it was organized by the teachers, the donations are being brought to school. 

[redheadbaker]

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.

Also, on their website, they are overtly anti-abortion. "The [org]'s board believes in the sanctity of human life. The home stands behind young women that choose life instead of abortion."

And their "Resources" page links to several Pregnancy Crisis Centers. 

[biscoffcookies]

I would not be comfortable supporting that organization, both because of its general views and also its conditioning of resources upon Bible study.

At a minimum, I would not be participating in the donation effort via the school, and I might try to find another organization that provides help to mothers/children to provide a donation to instead. I don't think that a pro-life/religious organization is one that should be the focus of a public school effort. Food bank, animal shelter, that type of thing, yes.   I'd also be fine with it if it was a religious-based organization as long as it offered aid free of strings/preaching (we have a couple organizations in my town that have roots in religion but offer meals/clothing/etc. to all comers without strings or proselytizing, and those I have supported in the past).  But this one, hard pass.

[eclaires]

Jan 22, 2020 20:25:41 GMT -5 heyjude said:

Even w/out the Bible stuff it feels like a weird charity for young kids to be supporting.

My kids went to Catholic preschool and every year there was support for a local Catholic org that’s basically the same idea and I always vocally opted my kids out because I thought it was fucking weird. I didn’t complain because hi, I put my kids in Catholic preschool so I knew what I was getting into. But we didn’t participate and I said basically the above because the whole concept was totally beyond them. Weird fit, IMO, and it felt like brainwashing anti choice garbage.

[redheadbaker]

Another parent sent me a message through Facebook. She's a room parent in one of the other classrooms. This idea was presented as a shelter for mothers and children. The parent had never heard of it and didn't look it up, but knowing now, agrees this is inappropriate, and will send an email to the teachers.

[wanderingback]

Jan 22, 2020 21:57:12 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.

Also, on their website, they are overtly anti-abortion. "The [org]'s board believes in the sanctity of human life. The home stands behind young women that choose life instead of abortion."

And their "Resources" page links to several Pregnancy Crisis Centers. 

Oh hell no. Just as suspected.
This pisses me off even more than the religious aspect for obvious reasons haha and I’m not even religious.
This whole thing just seems like a terrible idea.
Can you suggest they donate to a pro-abortion organization as well? Lets see how well that goes over!

[redheadk]

Jan 22, 2020 23:01:47 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Another parent sent me a message through Facebook. She's a room parent in one of the other classrooms. This idea was presented as a shelter for mothers and children. The parent had never heard of it and didn't look it up, but knowing now, agrees this is inappropriate, and will send an email to the teachers.

I'm glad you are getting support on this.

Personally, I'd give feedback directly to the principal about this. They need to hear pushback about this firsthand. 

[lolo]

Jan 23, 2020 0:20:30 GMT -5 redheadk said:

Jan 22, 2020 23:01:47 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Another parent sent me a message through Facebook. She's a room parent in one of the other classrooms. This idea was presented as a shelter for mothers and children. The parent had never heard of it and didn't look it up, but knowing now, agrees this is inappropriate, and will send an email to the teachers.

I'm glad you are getting support on this.

Personally, I'd give feedback directly to the principal about this. They need to hear pushback about this firsthand. 

I agree with this, especially since there are multiple classrooms involved.

[themoneytree]

Jan 22, 2020 21:57:12 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah I agree this whole thing is weird now that you mention more.
To be honest the organization you described had my spidey senses going up as an anti-abortion organization from the beginning.

Also, on their website, they are overtly anti-abortion. "The [org]'s board believes in the sanctity of human life. The home stands behind young women that choose life instead of abortion."

And their "Resources" page links to several Pregnancy Crisis Centers. 

I don’t really care about the religious aspect, but this here is a major issue and I would definitely say something. Ugh.

[Deleted]

Jan 23, 2020 0:20:30 GMT -5 redheadk said:

Jan 22, 2020 23:01:47 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Another parent sent me a message through Facebook. She's a room parent in one of the other classrooms. This idea was presented as a shelter for mothers and children. The parent had never heard of it and didn't look it up, but knowing now, agrees this is inappropriate, and will send an email to the teachers.

I'm glad you are getting support on this.

Personally, I'd give feedback directly to the principal about this. They need to hear pushback about this firsthand. 

I think this is a good opportunity to raise the issue of setting fundraiser guidelines.

[orval]

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:13 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

This is a weird thing for a public school class to do. I wouldn't say anything more on the FB page (because Karens are gonna Karen), but I'd reach out to the teachers. What they do on their private time is different than what they want the class to participate in.

I agree.  I don't think any public school should be taking donations for any charity.  Except for the school itself.  

My ds goes to Catholic school and they do a dress down day once a month or so.  Kids have to bring $1 or more to dress down.  The student council picks the charity.  I give $1 if I am not a big supporter sometimes $20 if I am.  I don't think any $/goods should be collected at a public school.  

[sporklemotion]

Jan 23, 2020 0:20:30 GMT -5 redheadk said:

Jan 22, 2020 23:01:47 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Another parent sent me a message through Facebook. She's a room parent in one of the other classrooms. This idea was presented as a shelter for mothers and children. The parent had never heard of it and didn't look it up, but knowing now, agrees this is inappropriate, and will send an email to the teachers.

I'm glad you are getting support on this.

Personally, I'd give feedback directly to the principal about this. They need to hear pushback about this firsthand. 

I agree. At my school (and I would assume at most), the principal has to sign off on things that get sent home/communicated like this, even if they are not official school activities. Our principal tends to just sign off, but if something like this blew up in his face he’d be accountable (and should be).
I’m a teacher and am normally not one to advocate going up the chain too quickly, but if the school doesn’t have policies about this, they should.

[lovebeingmama]

Jan 23, 2020 7:10:13 GMT -5 orval said:

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:13 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

This is a weird thing for a public school class to do. I wouldn't say anything more on the FB page (because Karens are gonna Karen), but I'd reach out to the teachers. What they do on their private time is different than what they want the class to participate in.

I agree.  I don't think any public school should be taking donations for any charity.  Except for the school itself.  

My ds goes to Catholic school and they do a dress down day once a month or so.  Kids have to bring $1 or more to dress down.  The student council picks the charity.  I give $1 if I am not a big supporter sometimes $20 if I am.  I don't think any $/goods should be collected at a public school.  

See, I think those fundraisers where kids can dress down for bringing in cash are much worse than the general idea of public schools collecting donations for (appropriate) charities. I cringe thinking about situations where you can literally see who A)chose to and B)can afford to donate. I know these are popular in schools with uniforms, but I have to believe it puts a number of families/students in uncomfortable positions. Totally unnecessary.

[orval]

Jan 23, 2020 8:25:46 GMT -5 lovebeingmama said:

Jan 23, 2020 7:10:13 GMT -5 orval said:

I agree.  I don't think any public school should be taking donations for any charity.  Except for the school itself.  

My ds goes to Catholic school and they do a dress down day once a month or so.  Kids have to bring $1 or more to dress down.  The student council picks the charity.  I give $1 if I am not a big supporter sometimes $20 if I am.  I don't think any $/goods should be collected at a public school.  

See, I think those fundraisers where kids can dress down for bringing in cash are much worse than the general idea of public schools collecting donations for (appropriate) charities. I cringe thinking about situations where you can literally see who A)chose to and B)can afford to donate. I know these are popular in schools with uniforms, but I have to believe it puts a number of families/students in uncomfortable positions. Totally unnecessary.

As I said, this is a Catholic school.  There are plenty of kids that don't dress down because they just forget. We have many times.  

For public school, what might be an appopriate charity to you, may not be appropriate for me like the original poster.  I just don't see how any are appropriate.  If you feel the need to teach kids about donating, do it on your own. 

[Bad Dingo]

Jan 22, 2020 21:32:08 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Is charitable giving a thing that is typically happening in elementary schools these days?
While obviously I see the point in teaching kids to give back, charitable giving is such a personal thing that even if not religious could be problematic.

My daughter's school has had fundraisers for Puerto Rico but the school is majority Latinx with many kids having relatives in PR so it makes sense.  I can't imagine there'd ever be a religious affiliated fundraiser though.

OP, I'd definitely talk to the teachers about the inappropriateness of having a school sponsored fundraiser for a religious organization.  There are many much better ways to help the community and teach about civic responsibility.

ETA: Just read further and saw that they are anti-abortion.  Burn it down.

[msmerymac]

Jan 22, 2020 18:43:44 GMT -5 eclaires said:

I wouldn’t like that.

We have one charity that is religiously affiliated that has helped us in the past (we do a huge giving tree/angel tree program that serves 240 kids) by giving us coats or coat coupons. They have a store like goodwill basically. We’ve gotten some pushback on it but it we also don’t donate to them - we basically accept their donation. Another church donates pantry boxes for our event too. I’m not crazy about this BUT we have families in need and they just get these items (no strings attached) if they want them.

We have multiple thrift shops around us that are religiously affiliated and support a variety of "charities," most notably crisis pregnancy centers. I would never shop there to support their work, but if they wanted to donate money to my organization, hey, at least it's not going to someone who is lying to women about the connection between abortion and breast cancer. 

[carmenere]

Jan 23, 2020 7:03:28 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

Jan 23, 2020 0:20:30 GMT -5 redheadk said:

I'm glad you are getting support on this.

Personally, I'd give feedback directly to the principal about this. They need to hear pushback about this firsthand. 

I think this is a good opportunity to raise the issue of setting fundraiser guidelines.

Agreed. It's possible that there is a school or district policy that the teachers involved either don't know about or chose to ignore. And if there's not, there needs to be. 

[Deleted]

Jan 23, 2020 9:03:54 GMT -5 carmenere said:

Jan 23, 2020 7:03:28 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

I think this is a good opportunity to raise the issue of setting fundraiser guidelines.

Agreed. It's possible that there is a school or district policy that the teachers involved either don't know about or chose to ignore. And if there's not, there needs to be. 

I also think that since one of the people involved seems to get why this is a problem, it’s worth approaching this with a collaborative attitude. “I understand they were excited to help people and I applaud desire to instill a sense of purpose in our children, but I think we need to make sure that any future projects are undertaken with a little more care that they are appropriate for the children and do not involve organizations that are sectarian or discriminatory in nature.” I would t go guns blazing just yet; I’d reserve that for being blown off my administration.

[DotAndBuzz]

I think it's good to introduce the idea of philanthropy to kids at school, and have no problem at all with philanthropy drives at a public school, provided no one is shamed into participating, or excluded in any way if they don't. It's for those reasons that I wince a bit at dress down days, etc, because if you *don't* donate, your kid doesn't get a "reward" of dressing down. Charity contribution shouldn't be affiliated with a reward, or clear indication of who participated, and who didn't, imo.

Part of our school's approach is to build community, and we've (PTO mission statement, teachers, parents, etc) decided that includes our local community as well, not just our school families. We've collected non-parishibles for the food bank at a local state university (which has a lot of students experiencing food insecurity), collected water in the immediate aftermath of the Flint water crisis (we're close-ish, and had the means to have it distributed to those in need), collected new, unused books for the children's hospital to use for kids who are immunocompromised, etc.

However this one? Absolutely not. Nope nope nope. Time to ditch the FB posting about it, and go straight to the principal. They may not be aware of the details, or that it's even happening, but they need to be, and a new organization needs to be selected immediately.

[msmerymac]

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:04 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Jan 22, 2020 20:43:28 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Apparently, this was organized by the three second-grade teachers, after the three of them volunteered there on MLK Day.

This is also super weird. Asking their students and their families to donate to a random cause they happen to e involved in on their own time? Weird.

IIRC, redheadbaker lives in a small school district for the area (I'm local). Which doesn't excuse it, but it does make sense to me how one person or a small group of people could have outsized influence on something like this without a lot of official channels to go through.

I've also heard of the charity, which is very popular and supported by a lot of churches and other religious organizations, though I would never support it myself for obvious reasons.

[msmerymac]

Jan 22, 2020 21:08:14 GMT -5 heyjude said:

The whole thing feels? Patronizing? I can’t put my finger on it....?

It is. Also, the assumption that it's a good decision to participate is patronizing. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T SUPPORT YOUNG MOMS AND BABBBBBIES?!

[redheadbaker]

Jan 23, 2020 9:14:26 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:04 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

This is also super weird. Asking their students and their families to donate to a random cause they happen to e involved in on their own time? Weird.

IIRC, redheadbaker lives in a small school district for the area (I'm local). Which doesn't excuse it, but it does make sense to me how one person or a small group of people could have outsized influence on something like this without a lot of official channels to go through.

I've also heard of the charity, which is very popular and supported by a lot of churches and other religious organizations, though I would never support it myself for obvious reasons.

Yup. There is one elementary school, one middle school and one high school in the whole district.

[lovebeingmama]

Jan 23, 2020 8:33:14 GMT -5 orval said:

Jan 23, 2020 8:25:46 GMT -5 lovebeingmama said:

See, I think those fundraisers where kids can dress down for bringing in cash are much worse than the general idea of public schools collecting donations for (appropriate) charities. I cringe thinking about situations where you can literally see who A)chose to and B)can afford to donate. I know these are popular in schools with uniforms, but I have to believe it puts a number of families/students in uncomfortable positions. Totally unnecessary.

As I said, this is a Catholic school.  There are plenty of kids that don't dress down because they just forget. We have many times.  

For public school, what might be an appopriate charity to you, may not be appropriate for me like the original poster.  I just don't see how any are appropriate.  If you feel the need to teach kids about donating, do it on your own. 

Ok, but even you say you still give $1 even if you don’t necessarily like the charity. So you still feel obligated to participate so your kid gets the prize of dressing down. That’s kind of a bad situation to put anyone in, regardless of type of school or organization. And even if everyone in your school can afford it, I promise this happens in schools where not all can afford it, and it can be embarrassing for kids for no reason. We can agree to disagree on this, and it’s fine that it works for your family.

I’ve worked in public schools that have participated in some great fundraisers for great charities. As I taught middle school, the ideas and even the execution of the fundraiser often came straight from the students themselves. No one was ever forced to participate (and I can’t remember any where there were rewards for individuals for donating something), but I always loved watching the kids work at something they were passionate about. I believe there is a lot of value in teaching kids about being charitable and helping others. (Again assuming the charities are appropriate). There is definitely a place for it in schools.

That said, I wouldn’t be comfortable with the OP’s situation and wouldn’t participate. I just don’t think the whole idea needs to be thrown out.

[hocus2]

Jan 23, 2020 7:10:13 GMT -5 orval said:

Jan 22, 2020 21:07:13 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

This is a weird thing for a public school class to do. I wouldn't say anything more on the FB page (because Karens are gonna Karen), but I'd reach out to the teachers. What they do on their private time is different than what they want the class to participate in.

I agree.  I don't think any public school should be taking donations for any charity.  Except for the school itself.  
 

  We have annual drives at our public school. I'm not opposed as long as it is non-competitive (no class earns prizes for doing more) and not affiliated with anything controversial. We've support a lower income school (e.g. new coat drive, stock their emergency pantry etc), toy drives for kids with cancer, items for the homeless etc. I'd say that 60% of students participate in the drives on average. 

While I this particular ask is highly problematic drives in general can be a positive part of the school's community culture.