Post by fivechickens on Feb 8, 2020 14:24:46 GMT -5
My kids are 8, almost 9, and I would not travel with them by myself unless absolutely necessary. Going to an airport by yourself can be daunting, no way, would I add three kids to that.
I don’t think there is anything judge worthy about that. We all have our limits of what we can/can not handle or feel comfortable with.
I realized this morning that I haven't spoken to my parents or siblings in like 6 weeks. I regularly go 6-12 months without speaking to my brother, and I did text with my sister a bit about a month ago, but otherwise no contact since Christmas. I should probably feel worse about it than I do, but I realize it's been nice to be removed from all their health issues, and them refusing to take care of themselves.
I suspect my mom hasn't called because she's still mad at me about the "drama" at Christmas between me and my sister.
I've been applying for jobs at my "dream" company off and on for like 5 years. It's only recently that I'm going to really be needing a new job. Put in a few more apps, and finally got a call and an interview next week!
But then I started reading Glassdoor reviews and while know it's mostly the bitter that post there, I'm no longer excited. Like not sure if I even want to go to the interview. It's great money/benefits but possibly at a detriment to my work/life balance. I'm not at a point in my life where I'm willing to bend on that.
Good thing is I got a call last Monday about a forthcoming offer for a different company but it was lower money that I wanted to consider. Basically a lateral move. I was less than enthusiastic, and not upset about still not receiving the written offer (because of the other pending interview). But now I've flip flopped and hope it'll come next week.
I'm all over the place, lol. Is it a bad sign it's been a week since the call about a forthcoming offer but I haven't received it?
I think it’s reasonable to be overwhelmed at the though of traveling/flying with 3 small children. Yes when you have kids you obviously have to be able to handle them but still, seems like a lot, and I think it’s ok to be overwhelmed.
You have to really want to/love travel to travel with multiple kids. They require a ton of crap and they turn most vacations into just a trip. I have 3 kids (9,6,1). I could see myself traveling alone with the kids to see family if I knew I would have a lot of help on the other end. H on the other hand would never. He hates traveling and doesn’t care to see any of his extended family enough to get on a plane. I had to plead for him to go to Jamaica with me sans kids. It doesn’t strike me the least bit odd that some people wouldn’t travel solo with multiple kids.
I only have one toddler and I don’t want to fly alone with her. I don’t understand the judgment of a parent not wanting to take three alone.
I admit a double standard. I am here for any woman who is like "ugh, taking my 3 kids someplace is taxing" because women do so much with high expectations from society to be perfect at it. But if a man complains that it's taxing I'm like "screw you, dude. 10,000 people will fall all over themselves to offer you assistance and compliments if they see you struggling alone with 3 kids at the airport. Suck it up and move on."
Eta: that's my knee jerk internal monologue. Obviously I don't go around screaming at fathers of young children.
I only have one toddler and I don’t want to fly alone with her. I don’t understand the judgment of a parent not wanting to take three alone.
I admit a double standard. I am here for any woman who is like "ugh, taking my 3 kids someplace is taxing" because women do so much with high expectations from society to be perfect at it. But if a man complains that it's taxing I'm like "screw you, dude. 10,000 people will fall all over themselves to offer you assistance and compliments if they see you struggling alone with 3 kids at the airport. Suck it up and move on."
Absolute truth. AND the dad will be gazed at with soft, adoring eyes while the mom will be glared at for imposing her brats on the civilized people.
My kids are 8, almost 9, and I would not travel with them by myself unless absolutely necessary. Going to an airport by yourself can be daunting, no way, would I add three kids to that.
I don’t think there is anything judge worthy about that. We all have our limits of what we can/can not handle or feel comfortable with.
I do think there’s a comfort level factor here that’s fair to point out. My mom has only flown by herself maybe a handful of times in her whole life while I fly by myself all the time (and actually prefer it!) My H has been flying alone with DD since she was 2; I really don’t get the sense that he thinks it’s an overwhelming thing either. At least he’s never complained about it and he packs for her too.
That said, three kids is a world I know absolutely NOTHING about, so I can’t judge not wanting to wrangle three. Three is 200% more kids than I have, lol.
My kids are 8, almost 9, and I would not travel with them by myself unless absolutely necessary. Going to an airport by yourself can be daunting, no way, would I add three kids to that.
I don’t think there is anything judge worthy about that. We all have our limits of what we can/can not handle or feel comfortable with.
I do think there’s a comfort level factor here that’s fair to point out. My mom has only flown by herself maybe a handful of times in her whole life while I fly by myself all the time (and actually prefer it!) My H has been flying alone with DD since she was 2; I really don’t get the sense that he thinks it’s an overwhelming thing either. At least he’s never complained about it and he packs for her too.
That said, three kids is a world I know absolutely NOTHING about, so I can’t judge not wanting to wrangle three. Three is 200% more kids than I have, lol.
Lol
I hate traveling so the airport probably is more daunting for me than the average person.
On the subject of random things a reasonable person should be able to do but I inexplicably can’t:
The last time I tried to put air in my tires, I failed miserably. I couldn’t get the damn low pressure warning light to shut off. I thought maybe I had a leak* (*I was pretty sure I was just incompetent) so I took the car to a tire place in my neighborhood and tipped a guy $20 to “diagnose” the fact that I’m an idiot.
On the subject of random things a reasonable person should be able to do but I inexplicably can’t:
The last time I tried to put air in my tires, I failed miserably. I couldn’t get the damn low pressure warning light to shut off. I thought maybe I had a leak* (*I was pretty sure I was just incompetent) so I took the car to a tire place in my neighborhood and tipped a guy $20 to “diagnose” the fact that I’m an idiot.
At least I got my tires filled.
My check engine light came on right before we were leaving on a road trip so I flipped out and went immediately to the dealer. My gas cap wasn’t on right.
On the subject of random things a reasonable person should be able to do but I inexplicably can’t:
The last time I tried to put air in my tires, I failed miserably. I couldn’t get the damn low pressure warning light to shut off. I thought maybe I had a leak* (*I was pretty sure I was just incompetent) so I took the car to a tire place in my neighborhood and tipped a guy $20 to “diagnose” the fact that I’m an idiot.
At least I got my tires filled.
Discount tire will do that for free, ya know. Lol
Good to know! He didn’t charge me anything; I was just so grateful (especially because I came in without an appointment right before closing) and wasn’t sure how much to give.
I’ve been selling clothes on FB and poshmark to fund buying another Dudley Stephens fleece. Because I’m basic AF. These are clothes I’m not wearing, so I would sell them anyway, fwiw.
FWIW regarding parent travel, DH is an amazing, completely hands on Dad. And would drive with E solo anywhere. But he doesn’t fly often and never travels for work, so the airport can be stressful for him and adding in our honey badger kid could be asking a lot.
Me OTOH wouldn’t bat an eye bc I fly somewhat regularly for work.
Post by mccallister84 on Feb 8, 2020 19:05:27 GMT -5
The flying thing is completely reasonable IMO.
Listen, I SAH with my girls. I take them everywhere solo with little hesitation - 4 hour trips to my parents, Hershey park, etc.
You could not pay me enough to fly solo with them. When they are older sure. I would fly solo with one of them (either one). H is actually the one who has done a solo flight with DD1 and I’m sure he would fly solo with one of them again but two young kids (18 months and 3 years) in an airport is a lot. If we HAD to do it for one reason or another, we would and we would survive but I don’t think any less of someone for choosing not to take that on.
I’ve been selling clothes on FB and poshmark to fund buying another Dudley Stephens fleece. Because I’m basic AF. These are clothes I’m not wearing, so I would sell them anyway, fwiw.
FWIW regarding parent travel, DH is an amazing, completely hands on Dad. And would drive with E solo anywhere. But he doesn’t fly often and never travels for work, so the airport can be stressful for him and adding in our honey badger kid could be asking a lot.
Me OTOH wouldn’t bat an eye bc I fly somewhat regularly for work.
I’ve been thinking about trying to sell a few things on Poshmark- any tips?
This is one of the things that annoys the crap out of me about my husband. He wants to do visits to our parents together. Ugh. No. I don't like my in laws and I want a break. This year I decided I was done and he could be as annoyed as he wanted at me, I'm not going. Too bad for him if he doesn't like it.
I would love to do that and quite honestly it would save us a bunch of $$ but the logistics of my H traveling alone with the three kids is too much.
How do you all make it work?
We live 4 hours from the ILs so its driving distance. I became comfortable letting him take DD and DS after DD was old enough to talk to me and let me know the details of the trip. When it was just DD, I always went with her. Flying is another story. I doubt my husband would take them alone on a flight. DS is one of those babies who doesn't believe in being a lap baby tries to escape from everything. Maybe when DS is older, like 4 or 5.
I'm currently gathering up the courage to fly solo with the two of them over DD's spring break. We'd go to Disney. We were just there so I know how I'd manage with DS. I could stay home, Disney isn't anywhere super special since DD's been 3 times already. But it's the first time in years I've felt the courage to do something beyond my very vanilla comfort zone and I want to be brave and accomplish it.
I can't even remember if I posted this or not, if I did, I am sorry. I have been enjoying the Jonas Brothers new music. I am not sure how to feel about this. lol
I can't even remember if I posted this or not, if I did, I am sorry. I have been enjoying the Jonas Brothers new music. I am not sure how to feel about this. lol
I’ll sit on this bench with you. I don’t even think I registered them previously (to old??) but I really like their new stuff. I’ll also throw out the New Direction guys solo stuff.
If you mean One Direction, then I agree! I've actually seen both Harry and Niall in concert. Different shows, but both good. Especially Harry.
(Although I will admit I also don't dislike their original band stuff, either. Especial the later stuff. I just like the solo stuff more ;-) )
I can't even remember if I posted this or not, if I did, I am sorry. I have been enjoying the Jonas Brothers new music. I am not sure how to feel about this. lol
I’ll sit on this bench with you. I don’t even think I registered them previously (to old??) but I really like their new stuff. I’ll also throw out the New Direction guys solo stuff.
I recently defended the lyrical merit of a Shawn Mendes song. Not even sure who I am anymore.
I’ve been thinking about trying to sell a few things on Poshmark- any tips?
Price competitively and be patient. I also find if I post a couple new things every couple weeks it helps.
Most of my Loft stuff is $8-$10 and Boden I might go up to $15-$20. Since shipping is another $7 on top of the price, I find sellers are more picky with clothes. I have sold a couple bags and some shoes too.
I only have one toddler and I don’t want to fly alone with her. I don’t understand the judgment of a parent not wanting to take three alone.
I admit a double standard. I am here for any woman who is like "ugh, taking my 3 kids someplace is taxing" because women do so much with high expectations from society to be perfect at it. But if a man complains that it's taxing I'm like "screw you, dude. 10,000 people will fall all over themselves to offer you assistance and compliments if they see you struggling alone with 3 kids at the airport. Suck it up and move on."
Eta: that's my knee jerk internal monologue. Obviously I don't go around screaming at fathers of young children.
H and I both travel alone with our kids (9 and 6). It’s so annoying how people jump to help him because he’s a dad alone. He gets so many comments about how he’s doing a great job.
I only have one toddler and I don’t want to fly alone with her. I don’t understand the judgment of a parent not wanting to take three alone.
Back in the 60s my Mom was a college student and one of her older brothers and his wife moved to CA from Maine. They asked my Mom to fly out a week later with their 3 yr old and infant so they had time to get settled. This was when flying was a dressed up occassion and more proper. Flight from hell. She was tending to the infant when the 3 yr old needed to go to the bathroom. She sent him on his own (I don't think she had ever babysat or had much experience with kids). Shortly after a Flight Attendant came and said "Mam I think your son needs help". My Mom turned and here he was running down the aisle naked swinging his little sailor jumper in the air. My Mom promptly relplied "That's not my kid".
I only have one toddler and I don’t want to fly alone with her. I don’t understand the judgment of a parent not wanting to take three alone.
Back in the 60s my Mom was a college student and one of her older brothers and his wife moved to CA from Maine. They asked my Mom to fly out a week later with their 3 yr old and infant so they had time to get settled. This was when flying was a dressed up occassion and more proper. Flight from hell. She was tending to the infant when the 3 yr old needed to go to the bathroom. She sent him on his own (I don't think she had ever babysat or had much experience with kids). Shortly after a Flight Attendant came and said "Mam I think your son needs help". My Mom turned and here he was running down the aisle naked swinging his little sailor jumper in the air. My Mom promptly relplied "That's not my kid".
Your aunt and uncle are either brilliant or maniacally evil. Possibly both.
Post by litskispeciality on Feb 10, 2020 12:26:09 GMT -5
I don't travel alone on a plane because airport travel freaks me out, so no judgement that a parent of one to fifteen children doesn't want to fly alone. I've heard people wish for family friendly flights, meaning it's pretty much all people with kids, and I think that makes sense. Have rows that have more than three seats, and then let all the kids cry when their ears pop etc. I agree though that anything a man/dad does is heroic where it's just a mom's job. If a dad grocery shops alone on Sunday morning at 7am it makes sense, but if a mom has to shop with three screaming kids and two carts it's "why can't she get her s together?" which is crap.
I also hate how difficult air travel is now. My poor dad is semi-handicapped at 70 and has determined he's not going to fly again in his life. He missed a big trip to his hometown due to a bad fall and now worries he'd need a wheelchair and a traveling companion just to get through the travel, esp where he goes never had a direct line. These thoughts come from a place of privilege, but as we've said here, not everyone can live near family/friends whatever they need to fly too, and shouldn't be limited because of kids or physical ability.
Post by litskispeciality on Feb 10, 2020 12:34:14 GMT -5
I DD'd my first confession about my DH, but will update here. Now he's making a huuuuge production out of not passing. He said he sent an email to the testing board submitting a formal inquiry into the revised test, wondering if the rumors that the test were shown before the test are true. I get his point, esp if it gives some people an advantage, but I can guarantee you they aren't going to investigate, esp given why they moved the test in the first place. I'm just sick of his entitled attitude about every step of this process. He had no problem with how they do it until he didn't meet the requirements for the second time.
I also hate how difficult air travel is now. My poor dad is semi-handicapped at 70 and has determined he's not going to fly again in his life. He missed a big trip to his hometown due to a bad fall and now worries he'd need a wheelchair and a traveling companion just to get through the travel, esp where he goes never had a direct line. These thoughts come from a place of privilege, but as we've said here, not everyone can live near family/friends whatever they need to fly too, and shouldn't be limited because of kids or physical ability.
I just wanted to add or note that most airlines are actually good about helping with a handicapped situation. They offer assisted travel for people in wheelchairs traveling alone. We had to do this for some elderly grandparents who needed assistance and it worked out very well every time. They will get them to their gate and allow them to board early. I feel like most airlines are very accommodating.
I also hate how difficult air travel is now. My poor dad is semi-handicapped at 70 and has determined he's not going to fly again in his life. He missed a big trip to his hometown due to a bad fall and now worries he'd need a wheelchair and a traveling companion just to get through the travel, esp where he goes never had a direct line. These thoughts come from a place of privilege, but as we've said here, not everyone can live near family/friends whatever they need to fly too, and shouldn't be limited because of kids or physical ability.
I just wanted to add or note that most airlines are actually good about helping with a handicapped situation. They offer assisted travel for people in wheelchairs traveling alone. We had to do this for some elderly grandparents who needed assistance and it worked out very well every time. They will get them to their gate and allow them to board early. I feel like most airlines are very accommodating.
ditto this. My friend’s mom now needs a wheelchair when traveling and my friend actually feels so much better about her mom traveling alone now. The airlines generally take really good care of passengers needing physical assistance (I know there are always horror stories but I think those are rare) and an attendant is assigned to them to bring them to their next flight, baggage, pick up etc.
Post by litskispeciality on Feb 10, 2020 13:57:11 GMT -5
Ok that makes me feel better about travel. Part of his concern is probably physically being able to travel across the airport during the layover if he doesn't have anyone to push the wheelchair, I guess I could tell him this, although I would worry about him traveling alone due to other issues such as his memory. I guess if he really needs to go somewhere by plane I'd have to look into using time off to go with him, but make sure the airlines know he has needs.
I admit a double standard. I am here for any woman who is like "ugh, taking my 3 kids someplace is taxing" because women do so much with high expectations from society to be perfect at it. But if a man complains that it's taxing I'm like "screw you, dude. 10,000 people will fall all over themselves to offer you assistance and compliments if they see you struggling alone with 3 kids at the airport. Suck it up and move on."
Eta: that's my knee jerk internal monologue. Obviously I don't go around screaming at fathers of young children.
H and I both travel alone with our kids (9 and 6). It’s so annoying how people jump to help him because he’s a dad alone. He gets so many comments about how he’s doing a great job.
My BFF has a 3 year old and twins who are about 5 months. When he’s out walking with them by himself he’ll wear one baby and push the other two kids and he said that people will literally beep their horns at him and shout out their windows cheering him on. His wife has reported that that’s never, ever happened to her.