February 2020 Wellness Thread

[reginaphalange72]

Let's get our first monthly wellness thread going!

As a reminder, this is a place to discuss your wellness journey, both physical and mental. This is NOT a place to discuss weight, diet/dieting, or make value judgements about bodies or food.  To C&P from the original CEP wellness thread: "We aren't here to dissect our diets or share fitbit stats. The purpose here is to take a more holistic view of our mental and physical health, chat about body image issues, and whatever else we need to do to feel good about ourselves." (thanks ESF )

If you have not yet read it, I highly recommend starting with this article: Smash the Wellness Industry: Why are so many smart women falling for its harmful, pseudoscientific claims? Here is an excerpt:

The diet industry is a virus, and viruses are smart. It has survived all these decades by adapting, but it’s as dangerous as ever. In 2019, dieting presents itself as wellness and clean eating, duping modern feminists to participate under the guise of health. Wellness influencers attract sponsorships and hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram by tying before and after selfies to inspiring narratives. Go from sluggish to vibrant, insecure to confident, foggy-brained to cleareyed. But when you have to deprive, punish and isolate yourself to look “good,” it is impossible to feel good. I was my sickest and loneliest when I appeared my healthiest.

So to get this started:

How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month? Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on? Is there anything you are currently struggling with? Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about?  Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win?

ETA: You don't have to answer these specific questions. Or with any specific format. They're just ideas

[reginaphalange72]

I'll start


How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month?
I've worked really hard over the last 8 months or so to really explore my relationships with running, food, and my body image and I think I've made a lot of really good progress, but I definitely still catch myself making value judgments about things (food choices, my body, etc.) occasionally. Though the frequency has dropped dramatically.  

Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on?
Trying to continue my journey developing a better understanding my body and its needs, while not attaching values of "good" or "bad" to things.

Is there anything you are currently struggling with?
I started working from home three weeks ago, and in many ways, I love it. But I've also been struggling with finding a good routine that doesn't make me feel sluggish and a little depressed. I know certain things that work pretty reliably (getting dressed in actual clothing rather than PJs, taking the dogs for a walk at lunch and getting outside for a bit, paying attention to and honoring my hunger cues, etc.) but I do definitely feel like I've gotten a bit more hermit-y in these three weeks. I don't HATE it. But I don't like it (the hermit-ness, I love working from home) either. I'm trying to stay aware of what's going on with me physically (some days I feel SO sluggish, which usually seems to correlate with not eating enough veggies) and mentally (see above) and what triggers these different feelings.

Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about?
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas of things to try to improve mental health when working from home, I would love to hear them!

Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win?
Weirdly, taking 2019 off from running made a huge difference in my mental health. I was so far down the hole of using running and racing and distance and body type as a measure of my value as a person and it was just eating me up. I was miserable. Giving myself that permission to just let it go for a year, not do ANY of it, and removing myself from running stuff on facebook (and eventually deleting my profile entirely - the only social media I had) made a huge difference.  I took some time to reflect on how I was letting the decisions and actions of others drive my own decisions and actions, and how much money (race entries, gear) and mental health it had been costing me, and I was horrified. Over the course of that year, I tried to figure out what it was about running and racing that I enjoyed, and decide if it was worth it.  I came away from all of that with a much healthier outlook on it all, and am enjoying myself so much more than I ever have.

[moreace01]

How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month?
I love to run and generally like working out. Like I'd rather do that than just about anything else. Getting to the gym or going outside at this time of year is a challenge but when I do it, I feel loads better. So, I'm at gyms that work for my schedule/location and that helps a lot. I started doing speed work (finally) and it's really helping. Seeing my progression is fun as well. 

For mental health, I started seeing a therapist due to issues with my job. I don't entirely know if it's working... I have talked to A NUMBER of other people who think maybe taking some time off would really help. I can't even answer recruiters right now because I'm so overwhelmed and I don't want to word vomit at them - I am sure I will come across as disgruntled. 

Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on?
I put things off that seem difficult or that I don't want to do, or mainly, that I'm scared that I don't know what I'm doing. Case in point - I should refi my condo. But the last time I did it, I didn't ask the right questions and I ended up not in the thing I thought I was signing up for. Also see above re: job. From a mental health perspective, that's my biggest struggle.

I am trying to be better about body image. Like everyone, I have things I don't like (I have a massive amount of cellulite on my legs and am starting to get varicose veins - which is entirely unfair). But I'm trying to get to the point where eff it, I'm just going to go out there and do my thing and not care about if anyone is looking or not. They most likely aren't, but if they are, that's their problem. I wear shorts when I run outside, but not in the gym...maybe someday I'll be ok enough to wear them to the gym too. And I will, this summer, run without a shirt. Screw it. When it's hot out, it's hot out. 

Is there anything you are currently struggling with?
The J O B. It's to the point where I'm so angry, I can't even see straight. It's... not good and I'm not making much progress in this area. 

Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about?
Oh....at this point, just thanks for letting me vent. Lol.

[reginaphalange72]

moreace01 - liking for the positives. I'm sorry you're struggling mentally, but I'm glad you're working with someone on it!

I totally get the job frustration. Been there. It's so hard when a large portion of your daily life is taken up with something that's a source of negativity/anger/frustration.

[Wines Not Whines]

Winter is hard for me. Sunlight is like medicine for me, and I don’t get enough of it in the winter. I have to do my workouts early in the morning, so even if I run outside, it’s dark. On nice, sunny days, I try to go outside for a 10-minute walk if I have time. But I don’t always have time during the work day, and a lot of winter days aren’t sunny (we’re on a very rainy steak right now). But getting fresh air is better than nothing.

I’m really trying to eat healthier, especially when it comes to snacks. I eat a lot of unhealthy snacks. I’m definitely ok with treats in moderation, but I’m not always good at moderation.

[reginaphalange72]

Feb 11, 2020 18:54:45 GMT -5 Wines Not Whines said:

Winter is hard for me. Sunlight is like medicine for me, and I don’t get enough of it in the winter. I have to do my workouts early in the morning, so even if I run outside, it’s dark. On nice, sunny days, I try to go outside for a 10-minute walk if I have time. But I don’t always have time during the work day, and a lot of winter days aren’t sunny (we’re on a very rainy steak right now). But getting fresh air is better than nothing.

I’m really trying to eat healthier, especially when it comes to snacks. I eat a lot of unhealthy snacks. I’m definitely ok with treats in moderation, but I’m not always good at moderation.

Winter is F-ing BRUTAL on the east coast.  So much dark and gray.

Have you ever tried one of those sunlight lamps?  I've always been curious about those.  Less of a need now that I'm in CO, but eventually we'll move back east and I think I might curl up and cry without the sun every day.

[Wines Not Whines]

Feb 11, 2020 19:09:41 GMT -5 reginaphalange72 said:

Feb 11, 2020 18:54:45 GMT -5 Wines Not Whines said:

Winter is hard for me. Sunlight is like medicine for me, and I don’t get enough of it in the winter. I have to do my workouts early in the morning, so even if I run outside, it’s dark. On nice, sunny days, I try to go outside for a 10-minute walk if I have time. But I don’t always have time during the work day, and a lot of winter days aren’t sunny (we’re on a very rainy steak right now). But getting fresh air is better than nothing.

I’m really trying to eat healthier, especially when it comes to snacks. I eat a lot of unhealthy snacks. I’m definitely ok with treats in moderation, but I’m not always good at moderation.

Winter is F-ing BRUTAL on the east coast.  So much dark and gray.

Have you ever tried one of those sunlight lamps?  I've always been curious about those.  Less of a need now that I'm in CO, but eventually we'll move back east and I think I might curl up and cry without the sun every day.

My alarm clock mimics sunlight, and I love it. I can turn on the light at other times, too. But it stays at home and doesn’t go to work with me.

[wawa]

My biggest struggle right now is sleep.
I'm not sure how to address it.
Running makes me happy and it is pretty much vital to my mental and emotional wellness. I'm stressed and scattered lately, but running helps. But the only time I can consistently run is 5am. Which means I'm getting up at 430. And I can't figure out how to get to bed any earlier than 10 while still eating dinner and having an actual conversation with my husband and like...having clean underwear.

I know sleep is vital. So is running (to me. Right now) and the days I am up later than I want to be (like last night, 11:30) and skip my run in the interest of sleep, I don't feel better. I feel sluggish and fuzzy and getting out of bed is impossible. My brain feels like it's in molasses. I drove into a curb this morning and I'm still not sure how it happened. So I'm not getting enough sleep either way? Or im so far in the hole that if I give my body a taste it wants allllll the sleeps.

But I don't know how to fix it or how to weigh the tradeoffs of insufficient sleep and the exercise that makes me feel good and helps me focus. And is a social outlet! Which I need since lololol to spending time with my friends otherwise.

[moreace01]

reginaphalange72, I only wfh sometimes and run into some of the same things as you - on the one hand, I love not having the hassle of the commute and sitting in a desk for the sake of sitting in a desk. On the other...I eat all day long cause...kitchen...and I feel somehow slightly lazy. Do you have the option of going to a cafe from time to time or a shared workspace? Just to be out with other people?


And Wines Not Whines, I'm with you on the sunlight. I keep telling myself that we are almost there....and that this winter really wasn't very bad at all (at least not in the midwest). The next few days it's going to be the coldest all year and after that it looks like smooth sailing. I've also told myself that I really really need a vacation in March. That's when the doom and gloom gets totally unbearable. Perhaps we all need a little getaway?

[MrsE]

Hi. I’ve been MIA lately because I’ve been dealing with some health challenges and a rare disease diagnosis. I’ve been completely benched from exercise since mid December and I’m struggling to be completely honest.


How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month? I’m taking care of my physical wellness by prioritizing rest, sleep, Drs appts, and taking my medication. I’m taking care of my mental wellness by scheduling coffee dates and lunch dates with close friends.


Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on? I guess my goals are to get enough sleep at night and trying to stay as healthy as possible.


Is there anything you are currently struggling with? I’m struggling with not exercising. I’m not getting the kick of endorphins and not feeling good about myself. I’m also struggling with my body image (partially due to side effects from medication).


Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about? Maybe? I’ll come back if I think of anything.


Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win? Working from home 4 days per week has been life changing.

[labbie]

That article was amazing overall, but one part brought tears to my eyes, when she talks about loving food and the first time a dietician asked her if she could consider her love of food a gift?
I love food, and like many women I realized I categorize it, and my behaviors around it, as "bad" or "good". Those points really hit home for me in the article.
I'm premenopausal and my body has changed all the rules. I'm trying to embrace it and pay attention and learn what works for me to feel my best. One thing I've done is avoided the scale for several weeks now and focusing in on how I feel...I feel like crap when I overdo sugar. I adore coffee and the ritual of my French press and locally roasted beans. Good red wine on the weekends by the fire warms my soul. So you know what? I'm going to enjoy those things.
I NEED to move my body in order to feel balanced physically and mentally. I have a few races this year but my biggest goal is to get my consistency back and have a solid base going again. This week I've managed to get running and spinning in, and some walks at night, and its made me more productive both at home and work.
My work-life balance has greatly improved since I've gotten a work laptop (yes my company was about 20 years behind in tech, and finally got some new leadership in so thank goodness). Instead of being stuck late at the office I can come home and walk the dog and eat dinner with DH before working a bit more.

[MrsE]

Feb 13, 2020 13:40:47 GMT -5 @vtcupcake said:

Feb 12, 2020 11:50:42 GMT -5 MrsE said:

Hi. I’ve been MIA lately because I’ve been dealing with some health challenges and a rare disease diagnosis. I’ve been completely benched from exercise since mid December and I’m struggling to be completely honest.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you've come back to say hi. If you need anything (locally), I'm here for you. 

Thank you, that is very sweet. 😘

[foundmylazybum]

Feb 11, 2020 15:53:45 GMT -5 reginaphalange72 said:

I'll start


How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month?
I've worked really hard over the last 8 months or so to really explore my relationships with running, food, and my body image and I think I've made a lot of really good progress, but I definitely still catch myself making value judgments about things (food choices, my body, etc.) occasionally. Though the frequency has dropped dramatically.  

Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on?
Trying to continue my journey developing a better understanding my body and its needs, while not attaching values of "good" or "bad" to things.

Is there anything you are currently struggling with?
I started working from home three weeks ago, and in many ways, I love it. But I've also been struggling with finding a good routine that doesn't make me feel sluggish and a little depressed. I know certain things that work pretty reliably (getting dressed in actual clothing rather than PJs, taking the dogs for a walk at lunch and getting outside for a bit, paying attention to and honoring my hunger cues, etc.) but I do definitely feel like I've gotten a bit more hermit-y in these three weeks. I don't HATE it. But I don't like it (the hermit-ness, I love working from home) either. I'm trying to stay aware of what's going on with me physically (some days I feel SO sluggish, which usually seems to correlate with not eating enough veggies) and mentally (see above) and what triggers these different feelings.

Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about?
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas of things to try to improve mental health when working from home, I would love to hear them!

Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win?
Weirdly, taking 2019 off from running made a huge difference in my mental health. I was so far down the hole of using running and racing and distance and body type as a measure of my value as a person and it was just eating me up. I was miserable. Giving myself that permission to just let it go for a year, not do ANY of it, and removing myself from running stuff on facebook (and eventually deleting my profile entirely - the only social media I had) made a huge difference.  I took some time to reflect on how I was letting the decisions and actions of others drive my own decisions and actions, and how much money (race entries, gear) and mental health it had been costing me, and I was horrified. Over the course of that year, I tried to figure out what it was about running and racing that I enjoyed, and decide if it was worth it.  I came away from all of that with a much healthier outlook on it all, and am enjoying myself so much more than I ever have.

I worked at home for a year, and sometimes felt the same way you did.


A few things that helped me. Warning some contradict each other!



Depending on the job, wfh allows you to work in a way that best suits you.

We are heavily conditioned to work "on a schedule" and it doesn't mean that schedule is best for us.

However, as humans we need schedules.

Thus, be flexible and try out different work tactics and times.

The super famous poet, Pablo Neruda would wake up, have breakfast in bed, call his friends, take a neighborhood walk, write for 3-4 hours then take a break with a cocktail! Write first 1 more hour then have dinner with his lover!

A lot of people on my teams LOVED getting up at the asscrack and starting working, but I always got up later, drove to run, then started and worked later. They had a mindset about "the early bird" but guess what..we had the same (and a lot of times I had more creative) results.

I say this as my biggest tip that wfh is freedom to make a freeing schedule.

This also allows you to..go out, work from a different location: in your home, yard, coffee shop. Try different times etc. Embrace flexibility to get good work!

[hurricanedrunk]

How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month?

I'm keeping up with my training, trying to take it one day at a time. Not beating myself up if I miss something or have to tweak a workout. Winter is always tough so having a warm/fun vacation on the horizon is a must.

Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on?

I've been trying to drink more water each day. I do pretty good when I am work with a bottle in front of me but am really bad at home during the weekends.

Is there anything you are currently struggling with?

I am struggling with anxiety right now. It gets worse when work is crazy and creeps over into the rest of my life. My biggest issue with it is health related anxiety. For example I've always had "chest pains" that happen on both sides but I will think I am having a heart attack if it's only on my left side. When it's bad I think every little thing is a blood clot or a heart attached and that I'm dying. Really it's just normal stuff but aahh! I need to get back on the CBD oil or something. I see my DR in early March and am trying to decide if I want to go back on medication (not really) or have some test etc done to quell my nerves.

Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about?

I'm curious what kind of a DR you see on a regular basis. I only go see my OBGYN and typically rely on him for the "other" things I need. Do I need a PCP?

Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win?

I am leaving for vacation in 3 days and am pumped!

[sadlebred]

All goals have been put on hold for now. I'm struggling with debilitating fatigue. Think so bad you can't get out of bed or it's a struggle to get out of the house. I've been putting up a facade and haven't missed a ride or anything yet, but I die as soon as I get in the car. (Not I'm tired, but I need to take a 2 hour nap NOW). My PCP and OBGYN have pretty much ruled out the obvious stuff-anemia, thyroid, "female" hormonal problems, diabetes, cardiac issues (I have worked with a sports cardiologist for a number of years and have had every cardiac test out there-the ticker is good), cancer, most things that can kill me. We're left with autoimmune although no tests have suggested that or maybe viral. The problem with viral is that it just has to work itself out and will most likely eventually go away. I've had a sleep study done a little while back for something else, and everything is normal. It's not normal to need to sleep 10-11 hours a day 8-9.5 hours/night with a long nap).

If anyone has some suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

I did recently finally get put on permanent telework status, so that naps are helping me keep my concentration up during the afternoon. Our whole dept. was offered telework and all but 2 people took it, so it's not because of the whatever-it-is. We have to go in for 1 week/quarter. Not too bad. I have no problems not getting out of my bunny slippers to work.

[emilyj]

How are you taking care of your physical and mental wellness this month?
- Physical health, I'm bouncing between doctor's appointments to try and get a plan in place for whatever TF is going on with me right now, that there are still more questions than answers to. I'm keeping up with my training, and I'm working on steps to overcome the wretched time I have falling asleep. Mentally, I'm trying to be realistic about my time and what I need to do so I don't get overloaded. I feel constantly behind right now for some reason, so I'm trying to really protect my time and not let 'oh, can you just do this quick' insert itself into my life 10 times a week.

Do you have any goals or challenges you are currently working on?
- I'm working on continuing to build up a strong base with my training, and I'm also working my diet (I know this isn't a weight loss thread, but diet is a huge priority for me right now). I crossed the line from insulin resistant to pre-diabetic (which I am so unbelievably pissed at it's not even funny), but I asked my new doctor if I could go see a diabetes educator, and he referred me immediately. I've been doing a lot of reading to try and figure out how to eat a) for this new diagnosis, and b) so I can get those numbers trending back down instead of up.

Is there anything you are currently struggling with?
- I've had a bunch of shit crop up in the last 6 months that I'm trying to wrap my head around. My kidney function is has been testing at below normal levels, I'm slightly hyperthyroid, the pre-diabetes, and I've had persistent numbness/tingling in my feet for the last 6-7 months. I've had nerve testing and a shit ton of bloodwork done. We've ruled out a lot, but still don't have a clear picture as to what the hell is causing everything. I'm trying to stay away from Google. :-)

Is there anything specific you want to talk/ask others about? Is there anything you have done that has given you a big wellness win?
- I think I'm most proud of the fact that I wasn't willing to sit back anymore while my old doctor's office jerked me around. I switched practices, and I've been really good about advocating for myself when I go in. I bring a list of questions, and I don't leave until they are all answered (and then I don't forget anything). I've made some medication changes, but still decreased the amount I was taking overall, so I'm really proud I took that step.

[reginaphalange72]

Just getting caught up now...

moreace01 and foundmylazybum - Yes, I can work any time and any where, provided it works for whatever I'm trying to do that day. Coffee shops will definitely be an occasional thing. I like the atmosphere and it's nice to get out once in a while. Fortunately this past week I had a three day long in person team meeting at our local office, so that was some good time spent with people. I am definitely more creative and active at night, though I have also gotten myself into a pretty good sleep schedule that involved getting in bed by 9:30/10 pm, so that one might not totally jive with my nighttime creativity.

MrsE - I'm so sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Sending good thoughts your way!

labbie - Giving myself "permission" to enjoy the foods that I truly love was huge! It's been so freeing to stop labeling things as "good" and "bad." I hope you have the same experience!

hurricanedrunk - We do an annual physical with our PCP, annual eye exams, and dental cleanings every 6 months. Prevention is key!

sadlebred - No helpful suggestions. I just hope you feel better soon. Give yourself permission to just sleep if you need to sleep.

emilyj - I hope you get some answers soon! And congrats on not letting your old doctor keep jerking you around!

[reginaphalange72]

This was quite a week. I actually asked H today if it had been one week or two because I honestly could not believe that all this evolution happened in just one week.

I've been insanely stressed out and anxious about life and finances and our general 5 year plan for the past several years. For the past year and a half I've felt horribly guilty that I found us a (wonderful but) super expensive place to rent in town and while we could afford it, the guilt was just eating me up and I've been trying recently to get us to a lower cost of living. Our lease is up at the end of June, and we have been trying to figure out what the plan is (we intend to move back east in the next year or two). I kept trying to make the case for leaving this house and either moving back east now (not that I WANT to leave Colorado, I just want to pay less for rent), or finding a cheaper place to live here. H kept thinking I was just excited to get started on building our future house, so he kept pushing back (he doesn't like change). This whole thing made for a lot of stress and arguments.

I finally pieced this all together and figured out how to articulate it on Sunday night and it basically ended with me having a meltdown due to how stressful it's all been. H had no idea I was feeling this way and now he's fully on board with getting us to a lower cost of living when our lease is up in June. Throughout the course of the week we have managed to come together with a completely awesome 2-4 year plan that we are really happy with and excited about (Short version is I'm a crazy person and have wanted a tiny house for a looooooong time and we are going to start building our own this summer after we move back up into the mountains. When it's done we will take it back east.). I realized last night that I haven't been this calm and happy ever in my entire adult life. I feel like a completely different person. So much lighter and happier and at peace. And H is amazing and is now all fired up and excited about the whole plan, which I NEVER thought would happen (he was a borderline hoarder when we met and has made huge strides in decluttering but still hates getting rid of stuff). We feel so great and excited to be actually taking control of our lives for once, rather than just being a passenger and dealing with things as they come. It's pretty awesome.

[cuadrado]

Feb 17, 2020 15:53:13 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

If anyone has some suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Have they checked you for a vitamin B12 deficiency or screened you for MS?

I hope you feel better soon!