It shouldn't be hard it is to disconnect yourself from a Trump supporter-which is different from a Republican- it should be a morally easy choice.
Your parents are have a Trump flag hanging off their garage? Ask them to name one thing he has done to better their lives. If they can, please report back because I am generously curious.
“He’s named pro life judges to the bench and will continue to do so.” When it comes to voting and my parents and ILs, one issue consistently trumps the rest.
The only family members I have who are Trump supporters, also have plenty of, I don't know what to say-personal issues? psychosocial dysfunction? - that seemed to worsen in the last 10-15 years. Just like when people feel lost or empty they turn to a cult, the whole MAGA thing seemed to have served that purpose for them. They were moderate democrats when their lives were more together and as they spun out they became conservatives and then MAGAts. It doesn't excuse anything, but explains it a little and is sad to watch. Luckily none of them are people I was that close to and they began to distance themselves from the family so i don't have to interact with them. i won't be inviting them to my daughter's bat mitzvah in a couple years and otherwise I don't have anything to do with them.
Post by sawyerthedestroyer on Aug 2, 2020 22:02:11 GMT -5
I cut off my parents last month. Cutting them out has been on my mind for the last couple of years already, but I thought I needed to do it the right way, offer an explanation or something.
Until about a year ago I felt like other posters have said, like I kept squeezing myself into smaller and smaller boxes to avoid conflict, while they did nothing to ease my discomfort. So I stopped being quiet, hoped my cries for common sense and decency would sink in.
Waiting as long as I did took a huge toll on my mental health as I relived childhood traumas and fretted over what to say.
Then my mom posted a diatribe about how she'd like to vote for a gentleman, but doesn't have that choice in this election so she's going to vote for trump because of what he can do for the unborn. Something in me snapped. I sent her a text that simply said, you care more about the unborn than you do your own grandchild. Do not contact us again. For me, this ended up being the right way.
It shouldn't be hard it is to disconnect yourself from a Trump supporter-which is different from a Republican- it should be a morally easy choice.
Your parents are have a Trump flag hanging off their garage? Ask them to name one thing he has done to better their lives. If they can, please report back because I am generously curious.
“He’s named pro life judges to the bench and will continue to do so.” When it comes to voting and my parents and ILs, one issue consistently trumps the rest.
My dad was a deadbeat dad and basically after Trump was elected I stopped wanting to have any type of relationship with him. Apparently his entire family are all die hard Republicans and I had no idea since again he basically wasn't in my life. I have one Aunt that won't talk politics with me and respects my views. But all the rest I unfollowed and just don't want to have a relationship with them.
I struggle with my inlaws a little because while they newly American they don't see the point in voting at all. I almost got into a debate with my MIL which is rare. She knows Trump is bad for this country but she also thinks that Biden is too and that both candidates are really stupid. I asked her why she thinks Biden is stupid and she really could't give the reason. I told her she needs to stop watching CNN and Fox News and actually do a little research before making blatant statements. Honestly I try not talk to politics with them because they perspective is extremely swayed by their personal experience with war (1990 Yugoslavia war). My SIL just became a citizen this year and she asked me about how voting worked. I told her it really is just researching a little and finding which candidates line of with your beliefs. Then she gave me this well I don't have time to do that. She knows Trump blotched Covid at least. So I am hoping she takes some time to consider voting.
My mom and bro are both like me which is I consider a conservative liberal or somewhat in between. We all voted for Clinton.
I haven’t cut my conservative relatives off only because I know that if I do, they’ll be completely insulated in their Fox News Republican social bubble. And I’m going to call their shit out. I think it’s my responsibility to do so. I think cutting them off, at least for me, shirks that responsibility.
I'm here. I won't delete them on FB or let them get away with spewing BS. If they want to delete or block me, that is their choice. I'm not going to make it easier for them to sit with their beliefs like nothing is wrong. Last week, I had a cousin post some QAnon BS and I carefully called out every. single. point. She told me that she had her beliefs and I had mine/we could agree to disagree/it was her FB and she could post what she wants/keep it civil/etc. I responded that if she chooses to publicly post this shit, I'll continue to publicly refute it. Maybe I won't change her mind, but hopefully someone else reading it won't blindly follow.
If you truly love and care about your Trump friends and family, you should be doing everything you can to make sure they are not a shitty human being. If they truly respected you, then maybe something you say will be a light bulb moment for them. If you think they are beyond help, then making them uncomfortable is the least you can do as a liberal. Stop rewarding them with your silence.
I haven’t cut my conservative relatives off only because I know that if I do, they’ll be completely insulated in their Fox News Republican social bubble. And I’m going to call their shit out. I think it’s my responsibility to do so. I think cutting them off, at least for me, shirks that responsibility.
Absolutley this! I hate echo chambers because it just widens the divide. I challenge my dad every step of the way. No default rote thinking with those stupid email forwards going unchecked. And in honestly, this helps me, too. I can’t find conviction in my views unless I explore the alternative. The irony is, my relationship is closer with my dad than my sisters, who don’t engage in this. If i just ignore his emails, words, etc., he becomes less human in my eyes and more @ evil@ if I talk to him about it, he comes off more lacking critical thinking skills and more misguided. It does get ugly, but I think it helps,
Post by litskispeciality on Aug 3, 2020 14:53:22 GMT -5
DH and I are growing further and further apart politically. We were both young when we met, the parties have changed over the last 14 years or so. Deleted the rest of my comments.
Post by emilyinchile on Aug 4, 2020 6:00:15 GMT -5
This attitude [of someone on the FAR right suggesting we just don't talk about our different views] is one I don't know how to deal with yet. On the surface, it sounds reasonable to say "let's not fight, we're each entitled to our views", so if I try to insist that a particular topic is too important/one where there really is a wrong view, then I sound like the intolerant, pushy one, and that feeds into the "liberals are crazy and oversensitive" narrative.
How do you live by your principles of standing up for what's right and not come across this way when the person you're talking to can't see that his or her views are not a question of personal preference but of human lives and rights and like, actual Nazi behavior?
DH and I are growing further and further apart politically. We were both young when we met, the parties have changed over the last 14 years or so.
I'm sorry. This would be hard, because divorce is a much bigger process and life change than just stopping talking to a sister or grandmother. I agree, Republicans of 14 years ago were a very different story than Republicans of today. My XH was one, and I had friends in college that were too. We'd butt heads and argue over it, but it wasn't the same total difference in morals and values back then. At least, I didn't see it that way then.
When I was married to my XH we did mostly just avoid talking about it. He did support some of the things I did, like LGBTQ rights/marriage and was pro-choice. He was raised in a very conservative rural area, so I think some of his perspective was shaped by actual ignorance - until we moved to a larger college town, he just had no exposure to a lot of people and ideas. He also didn't go to college. That said - I can't imagine being married to him now, for a number of reasons, but all this stuff since Trump ran for president has felt so important and so personal (even if not directly harming me, it's harming me emotionally because I'm so upset about it). My H is 100% in alignment with me (if anything, he's shifted ME to be more liberal) and it's been so wonderful to be able to talk about all of this all the time and not have to avoid it to avoid argument. I know there is no way this would be the case with my XH, who may not have a been a Trump supporter (I have no idea) but probably would not have been on the same page as me about a lot of things. This could have been what finished us if we were still married, honestly.
The whole "They're otherwise decent people", "They treat me with respect", etc. is the Trumper equivalent of "I can't believe he beats his wife! He's always been nice to me! He's such a stand up guy! Coaches little league! She must be exaggerating. Maybe she's making it up for attention." Most people don't say the last two sentences out loud, but they're the logical and necessary follow-on, and the same applies to Trumpers. The logical follow-on of "They're otherwise decent people" is "POC, LGBTQ, immigrants, women, etc., should stop asking so much of people. I mean, he tells great jokes at the family BBQ and he bought me ice cream every summer when I was a kid. Can't they look past the fact that he wants to kill/maim/deport/imprison them?" It's gross.