Adhd meds at an early age: Update

[campermom]

I know my child has predominant hyperactivity/impulsivity presentation. I have a looooong list of interventions, behavioral strategies and skills practice that I do with him. While he has come a long way, his emotional reactivity and dysregulation is still significant. I do not think he meets indicators for other disorders.

He is my youngest and his challenges far exceed any of the developmental tantrums and challenges we had with the others.

One of the gentle posters here once said that she felt sweaty, just going to the playground. That’s me. I put an enormous amount of effort into managing—and being on top of or what I call Premanaging-being proactive, Catching things before they happen. SOooooo much positive to counteract the negative ratio. My family all says I do great with him and I’m very consistent in parenting him, and that it must be exhausting, but they have also said he’s made great growth.

I have taught my child Zones of Regulation, he has had laminated photo charts, and he’s had a consistent behavior mod chart for over a year. I mean there’s a ton of other accommodations and strategies and sayings we have taught but you get the gist.

His return to daycare has not gone great. As a result of upset parents emails, his class was changed and now I do feel better about who he will have. While I realize any child will have a difficult transition back, he is standing on top of tables and almost lost the water play day, and recently acted out by soiling his pants, and then peeing in them while she got him new shorts-which has never happened. He turns 5 this week (youngest kindergartner in his school probably).

He will have the best K teacher at his public school, (great w behavior management and structure) but he will be full virtual. He will be at daycare getting his virtual learning there.

I’ve worked with a psychologist for about 6-8 months or so, and have been obviously discussing my concerns about adhd or other disruptive behaviors disorders and she agreed it’s time to have him evaluated. ETA: by the psychologist at the practice who does early childhood Evals.

If we end up doing a med trial, what’s been your experience at age 5? I would prefer a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner at this age rather then his pedi. Which meds if any were prescribed?

[imojoebunny]

I would look for a pediatric neurologist for meds, once you have an eval. I found that pediatricians were not that great with meds for my daughter. She ended up not having ADHD, though she had the diagnosis, but the pediatrician was more than willing to provide us with meds we said were not productive, even after hearing DH (who is kind of a commanding person, used to being bossy) and I (who kept a log of the issues we were having, which were completely out of character). We found a great Pediatric Neurologist who monitored her much more closely, and had a much lower tolerance for side effects. Many of our other friends have gone to that route, whose kids really do have ADHD, and been much happier with the way the meds are managed. The evaluation was done by an educational psychologist, but they don't do meds, just the diagnosis. Some pediatricians will do an ADHD eval, but not mine. For DD, she turned out to have visual processing disorder and dyslexia, which mimic ADD symptoms in a classroom.

[campermom]

Thanks imojoebunny. I added that I won’t have him evaluated by the pediatrician, I would only have it done by someone who regularly assessed for psychiatric dx and the psychologist wants her colleague from her practice.

The one she suggested is familiar and I know she does good work.

Pediatric neurologists are very hard to find here, however. Even in the close proximity to a lot of national children’s hospital centers. Most neurology practices Nearby only work with adults. The peds are pretty full for things like seizure or other neurological etc.

Child Psychiatrist or psych NP could prescribe and be easier to access. Curious about that magical age 5 to 6; however. Under 6 seems like a big cutoff.

[VeryViolet]

I don’t have advice but I just wanted to send hugs. I am dealing with similar issues. DS is a bit older a few months shy of 7 going into first. Everything has been magnified by the lack of structure COVID has brought on. In my case I will say we have not been great with routine at home for a whole variety of reasons but basically because of the dumpster fire of a year. I actually didn’t send DS to daycare this summer even though they opened and I sent his sister because I didn’t think my mental health could handle the daily bad reports/incidents. I feel like an asshole for thinking it and saying it but it is really what it boils down to.

Sorry I didn’t mean to go off on my own tangent. I hope you find answers and the right solution for your son. It is so hard and even though you know you aren’t alone it can feel really isolating to feel like you have to work so hard and everyone else is just having an easy time with their kids.

[cari]

My DS2 (6) has ADHD and started meds soon after his sixth birthday. I wish we had started sooner. For him, his impulsivity was the most challenging thing we dealt with. He could not control a single impulse he had and it was dangerous and scary and so frustrating. It took us about 6 months for us to find the perfect meds/dosage bc we started very small and very slow. We take him to a specialized behavioral clinic where we did the Genomind testing to find out what meds his genetics/body chemistry would react to. He takes methylphenidate (Ritalin) at 10 mg 3 times a day and 1 mg of guanfacine (Tenex) twice a day and he is now the best version of himself. I recommend finding someone who is ready and willing to take it slow and steady to find the perfect solution.

Good luck and feel free to reach out here or via pm if you have any questions!

[suzubell]

We started meds at 5 and he didn’t have a great reaction. Honestly, it was a bit traumatizing to all of us. We took a break and he had genetic testing done to match him to a medication. The result was much much better. I’d pay for it again 100 times over.

[undecidedowl]

DS1 started meds right after turning 6 and being diagnosed. The psych actually asked why we waited to bring him in when issues had been apparent much earlier. DS didn't start meds until the end of K because of the timing and he would have really benefited from them earlier in K. His inability to stay engaged in class really set him behind and he didn't catch back up until being properly medicated in 1st grade.

He takes 10 mg Adderal xr. We had major sleep issues at first but they settled out and melatonin helps.

[SusanBAnthony]

I don't know much about that age but the things you described are my life...... Can't go to a playground with our pre-managing behavior, etc. It's exhausting.

My kid is on Adderall XR. We were told that was the starting med pretty much no matter what. It seems to help (idk with behavioral meds..... So much of it seems to be how we interact with him...). Anyway he reports it makes him feel better but that he has a hard time finishing food. This year it's moot because of distance learning but we are putting the option to carry a granola bar and eat it an hour after lunch in his IEP when it comes up.

[wanderingback]

I would definitely pick a child psych over a psych NP for the initial eval. I’ve had meds make a life-changing difference for some of my young patients once they’re on the right medication. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, so hang in there!

[roni]

Commiserating. My son was diagnosed with ADHD combined at 5 and we started medication when he was throwing furniture at kindi prep camp. We took a break from medication this spring and summer as we were home, but once virtual 1st grade started, after 2 days we knew we needed to restart. He had huge tantrums even without the chaos of an in-person classroom.

My thought on early medication was that I wanted him to love school and this would provide support for that early love to grow. I will say our pediatric psychologist said he couldn’t start meds until 50 lbs and he just made the cutoff. I didn’t research at all to see if that’s really a thing.

You sound like an amazing parent. All that managing and prework is exhausting.

[whattheheck]

My DS started meds in first grade and it was a game changer for him. He started on focalin then switches to the daytrana patch that I loved but there were manufacturing issues. He’s now in HS and takes quillichew.

One thing his doctor said to me that convinced me to go with meds is that it’s not a lifelong commitment. You don’t like how they’re affecting him? You stop. Somehow I had it in my head that since it was my “last resort” I was giving up hope and drugging him for the rest of his life. His doctor helped me see that I was simply looking for a tool that would work. Much like looking for the right drill bit for a job. That changed my perspective.

[CurlyQ284]

I think sweaty playground mom may have been me, because I say that a lot lol. I stated seeking help when DS was 4.5, it took forever to find someone because of his age but he was kicked out of 2 daycares and then started getting suspended in Junior Kindergarten. The evaluation was several parts and completed in early December just after his 5th birthday. My son has severe ADHD combined type, ODD, and adjustment disorder (we moved in the spring of that year and it was basically the match that lit the fuse).

His pediatrician was not super helpful, he told me "he seems fine to me" because he was ok for 10 minutes while the doc was in the room but after the eval he started him on Quillichew, I think it was because its one of the few options that aren't just swallowing a pill. He did better at school, still getting into trouble and a couple suspensions but then November of the following year (kindergarten) issues increased so we increased the dose and it got worse. I changed him to my doc and she said that kids with ODD tend to do better on non-stimulants so she changed him to generic Strattera in the spring of kindergarten year. He improved A LOT. He had been having sensory issues with loud noises and melt downs if things were messy and that went away when we changed meds. I think the stimulants were a bit much for him.

1st grade went really well! No suspensions and not even sent to the office once!

So that's been our journey. I'm still exhausted all the time because he still has melt downs and is just a very rigid child, its a lot to manage. Especially since covid, and I'm working from home. He is actually about to have a fit right now 😳

A friend of mine has a daughter with similar issues and they started meds in the spring, she is having a tough time right now and said she can't stop crying this week so we are going out for margaritas on Monday. I'm not sure its ever going to be easy. Just "not AS bad"?

[campermom]

I’m reading all of these and feel a sense of validation and understanding. Thank you! Curlyq YES. When you said that, it was really a life changing reflection moment for me. So thank you for being open about your child’s (and all of you childrens!) struggles. If anything, talking about it has helped at least one person here!

[sugarbear]

We took DS to a pediatric psych NP (I guess that's what you'd call her-- he was diagnosed by the ADHD center in our city) for the diagnosis but had meds prescribed by his pediatrician. He started them later-- I believe he was 9-- after a year of counseling. The counseling actually helped both him and me, a lot.

He is on 9mg of Concerta and there is a noticeable difference. He doesn't eat much and so we often skip weekends.

[maudefindlay]

DS2 started meds before 5. The first med he took worked. You should know right away. The change was dramatic. Concerta extended release. We did notice it wearing off around 3pm, so added another med at noon, Ritalin at a small dose. This helps him be functional for homework, activities,...anything really. Negatives are that the meds suppress his appetite. He is underweight by a bit. He also for the first year or so had trouble falling asleep. Was up till midnight. We used a low dose of Melatonin and that helped. Now at 9 he falls asleep by 930 without Melatonin. Happy kid, happy siblings, and parents. So glad for the meds.

[kdubs923]

DS was diagnosed ADHD combined when he was 4.

His biggest struggle has been impulse control. Daycare nearly kicked him out because they felt they couldn't keep him safe or his classmates safe (ex. they'd say, OK time for recess, and he'd bolt to the door, without any awareness of people in his way or whether there was an adult already outside). If you stopped and talked to him, one on one, he knew the rules. He couldn't explain why he didn't follow them. He had every intention of following the rules - then an impulse (to grab a toy, play outside, etc) would come on and any previous discussion was lost from his mind. He was also just ALWAYS moving. Like a motor. He wouldn't be able to calm himself.

Our pedi sent DS for a neuropsych evaluation at our local children's hospital. We met with a social worker, a psychologist, and teachers from school had filled out Vanderbilt testing. He received the ADHD diagnosis.

Initially, we were not interested in meds (he was newly 4). The psych was able to make recommendations for daycare/school to make him more successful, (sensory breaks, quality work vs. quantity, ability to stand if needed during class or lunch, etc). We tried these modifications and did well for about 6-8 months. One night, after another tough day at school, DS broke down and cried. He was upset that he 'Always has bad days. Nobody in his class has a bad day every day. I try to hard to follow the rules & it's just more bad days where I get everything wrong.'. That's when I knew we needed more than some modifications - he wants to follow the rules & have a 'normal' school experience but it was just truly beyond his control.

We started him on Guanfacine, which is a non-stimulant, prescribed to help with impulse control. This helped him quite a bit. He started in K last fall. We were upfront with his teacher about his diagnosis and what we've tried that has been successful. After seeing him struggle in a more structured, academic setting, we tried Ritalin, which was immediately not a good fit. We've since switched to Adderall, 5mg 2x a day, which has helped him be far more successful. Since being home for Covid, he just gets the morning dose, as his school work would be completed by the time the first dose wore off. Also, it did impact his appetite, so I was glad he had time to regain some of what he lost.

Anecdote: Through this process, and watching DS start to thrive on meds, DH sought out a formal diagnosis and started on Adderall himself. Growing up in the 80's, he just struggled instead of receiving help. He was brushed off by teachers that he's an energetic boy, he's trouble, he doesn't listen, etc. He now wonders how life would have been like if school and life hadn't been so hard (he failed a bunch of classes in college and ended up dropping out). He's smart and has a solid career that he loves, but wonders if he had been able to apply himself academically & been given more of a chance, if he would have taken a different path. His realization made me feel better about trying meds for our son, as I didn't want him to wonder what if or resent us for making life harder than it needed to be.

Hugs. This is so tough. You're doing a great job.

[mags]

I feel your pain, it was a long long hard journey with my youngest son. He is now 25 so I did actually survive.

At a very young age I knew something was just a bit off. People, especially my family blew me off, but I knew!!! Being a special ed teacher I could spot it a mile away. I finally got his Dr. listen to me, started therapy, got an apt. with pediatric neurologist, and did tons of behavior modification, charts, rewards, etc. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, the ODD is horrific to deal with.

Some of it helped a little, some did nothing at all. Impulsivity was just off the charts. He had no friends, his brother and twin sister tried to stay away from him, my heart was broken.

Finally, we decided to try meds, and I can not tell you how much it helped him. They put him on Ritalin and it was a game changer for us.
He could sit and do his schoolwork, watch a movie, play with other kids (still a bit rough). He was a different kid when he was taking his meds. They wore off by dinner, but as long as he got through school, I could manage.

It was an up and don battle, turns out he was extremely bright and bored as all hell in school. We know what boredom does to a kid like that. They started him in gifted classes which also helped.

He is 25 now, graduated with AP credits and honors diploma. Unfortunately, after HS he decided no more meds, and could not complete college without them. He has a steady job for years, does ok for himself, lives on his own, and is finally at 25 getting a grip and controlling his ADHD himself.

I always said he could be the poster child for ADHD meds. I honestly do not know what would have happened to him without them. Seriously, I could have seen him getting into drugs, dropping out, and god know what else.

After all these years, it still pains me and makes me tear up. It was hell for all of us, and some days I never thought we'd get through it.

You too will find a solution, stay strong, don't give up, you know him better than anyone else, if what they say sounds off, it probably is@

Please keep us updated.

[mags]

Aug 26, 2020 11:29:31 GMT -5 kdubs923 said:

DS was diagnosed ADHD combined when he was 4.

His biggest struggle has been impulse control. Daycare nearly kicked him out because they felt they couldn't keep him safe or his classmates safe (ex. they'd say, OK time for recess, and he'd bolt to the door, without any awareness of people in his way or whether there was an adult already outside). If you stopped and talked to him, one on one, he knew the rules. He couldn't explain why he didn't follow them. He had every intention of following the rules - then an impulse (to grab a toy, play outside, etc) would come on and any previous discussion was lost from his mind. He was also just ALWAYS moving. Like a motor. He wouldn't be able to calm himself.

Our pedi sent DS for a neuropsych evaluation at our local children's hospital. We met with a social worker, a psychologist, and teachers from school had filled out Vanderbilt testing. He received the ADHD diagnosis.

Initially, we were not interested in meds (he was newly 4). The psych was able to make recommendations for daycare/school to make him more successful, (sensory breaks, quality work vs. quantity, ability to stand if needed during class or lunch, etc). We tried these modifications and did well for about 6-8 months. One night, after another tough day at school, DS broke down and cried. He was upset that he 'Always has bad days. Nobody in his class has a bad day every day. I try to hard to follow the rules & it's just more bad days where I get everything wrong.'. That's when I knew we needed more than some modifications - he wants to follow the rules & have a 'normal' school experience but it was just truly beyond his control.

We started him on Guanfacine, which is a non-stimulant, prescribed to help with impulse control. This helped him quite a bit. He started in K last fall. We were upfront with his teacher about his diagnosis and what we've tried that has been successful. After seeing him struggle in a more structured, academic setting, we tried Ritalin, which was immediately not a good fit. We've since switched to Adderall, 5mg 2x a day, which has helped him be far more successful. Since being home for Covid, he just gets the morning dose, as his school work would be completed by the time the first dose wore off. Also, it did impact his appetite, so I was glad he had time to regain some of what he lost.

Anecdote: Through this process, and watching DS start to thrive on meds, DH sought out a formal diagnosis and started on Adderall himself. Growing up in the 80's, he just struggled instead of receiving help. He was brushed off by teachers that he's an energetic boy, he's trouble, he doesn't listen, etc. He now wonders how life would have been like if school and life hadn't been so hard (he failed a bunch of classes in college and ended up dropping out). He's smart and has a solid career that he loves, but wonders if he had been able to apply himself academically & been given more of a chance, if he would have taken a different path. His realization made me feel better about trying meds for our son, as I didn't want him to wonder what if or resent us for making life harder than it needed to be.

Hugs. This is so tough. You're doing a great job.

We have very similar stories. Our boys sound a lot alike.

[lurkie22]

We haven't started medication for our DS (8) yet, but he was diagnosed with ASD at 5 and ADHD at 6. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for posting, too. It helps to know that other people have these struggles, because I felt very alone and isolated even before COVID.

DS is more on the inattentive side of ADHD, but definitely has the impulsivity - mostly sudden screaming, rage when his rigid routines are messed with, and just a total lack of awareness about where his body is in space. He bumps into door frames, furniture, jumps off high playground equipment that's way too high - and I never know when he's going to do it. It takes a split second for things to go from "fine" to "OMG - STOP!!", and then he's always so shocked when something bad happens. Last weekend he rode his bike into a parked car, and was so upset and embarrassed. He just literally didn't see it. I feel so awful for him, because I'm sure it's not easy to be in his head, but it's also exhausting and demoralizing.

It makes me the "sweaty playground mom" pretty much all the time! As I was typing this, he went from quietly playing with DD to yelling "DD! I'm going to destroy you!" because she moved some of his Lego over. I'm basically an anxious basket case at this point because I never know when I'm going to have to jump up and run to help before things get ugly. Thanks for making me feel less alone!!

[CurlyQ284]

Aug 26, 2020 10:28:58 GMT -5 campermom said:

I’m reading all of these and feel a sense of validation and understanding. Thank you! Curlyq YES. When you said that, it was really a life changing reflection moment for me. So thank you for being open about your child’s (and all of you childrens!) struggles. If anything, talking about it has helped at least one person here!

This seriously makes me tear up, I'm so glad!
I think the worst part was how isolating it all is. That year was literal hell, we were in a new town, i had few friends and none that would understand what we were going through. Somebody called CPS and they showed up to evaluate "what was going on". It was humiliating, devastating, frustrating. I was asking everyone for help and they kept saying come back when he's 7 but also we are going to have CPS evaluate you. I'm not sure my marriage will survive all this. I was drinking too much, my anxiety was at an all time high. It was pretty much my darkest time.

Anything I can do to help other moms in the same spot, I will do what I can! If you're in Michigan I can buy you some margaritas like my local friend here. We actually joked about making a support group but maybe we should really do it.

[dcrunnergirl52]

I've been in your shoes.

DS1 was 5.5 when he was diagnosed with ADHD-combined (halfway through kindergarten)--he has a late August birthday too. We put him on meds right away, and it was life changing for him and our entire family. It took us a few weeks to find the right med/dose, but once we did, it was so amazing. Since then, we've had to change meds and doses a few times, but I can't imagine life if we had never gone the med route.

DS2 was diagnosed about 18 months ago at 5.5 with ODD and OCD caused by intense anxiety. We also have him on meds--finally finding the right combination in Lexapro and Guanfacine. When his anxiety was out of control, one way it manifested at home was through lack of impulse control, so you may also want your DS screened for anxiety.

[mags]

Aug 26, 2020 12:34:04 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Aug 26, 2020 10:28:58 GMT -5 campermom said:

I’m reading all of these and feel a sense of validation and understanding. Thank you! Curlyq YES. When you said that, it was really a life changing reflection moment for me. So thank you for being open about your child’s (and all of you childrens!) struggles. If anything, talking about it has helped at least one person here!

This seriously makes me tear up, I'm so glad!
I think the worst part was how isolating it all is. That year was literal hell, we were in a new town, i had few friends and none that would understand what we were going through. Somebody called CPS and they showed up to evaluate "what was going on". It was humiliating, devastating, frustrating. I was asking everyone for help and they kept saying come back when he's 7 but also we are going to have CPS evaluate you. I'm not sure my marriage will survive all this. I was drinking too much, my anxiety was at an all time high. It was pretty much my darkest time.

Anything I can do to help other moms in the same spot, I will do what I can! If you're in Michigan I can buy you some margaritas like my local friend here. We actually joked about making a support group but maybe we should really do it.

Unfortunately, it was one of the things that ended mine. I had total responsibility for son, and felt like I had no support. It all fell on me. People do not understand, its been 20 years for me and hearing others go through same thing makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I lost my BF, neighbors, and ultimately a marriage over it.

[CurlyQ284]

Aug 26, 2020 13:32:49 GMT -5 mags said:

Aug 26, 2020 12:34:04 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

This seriously makes me tear up, I'm so glad!
I think the worst part was how isolating it all is. That year was literal hell, we were in a new town, i had few friends and none that would understand what we were going through. Somebody called CPS and they showed up to evaluate "what was going on". It was humiliating, devastating, frustrating. I was asking everyone for help and they kept saying come back when he's 7 but also we are going to have CPS evaluate you. I'm not sure my marriage will survive all this. I was drinking too much, my anxiety was at an all time high. It was pretty much my darkest time.

Anything I can do to help other moms in the same spot, I will do what I can! If you're in Michigan I can buy you some margaritas like my local friend here. We actually joked about making a support group but maybe we should really do it.

Unfortunately, it was one of the things that ended mine. I had total responsibility for son, and felt like I had no support. It all fell on me. People do not understand, its been 20 years for me and hearing others go through same thing makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I lost my BF, neighbors, and ultimately a marriage over it.

Yes, thats exactly how I feel.
I won't go into details because this isn't the place but its been more of the same during Covid. I've about had it.

[onomatopoeia]

I'm just going to ditto a lot of the other posters. We have very similar stories, I could attach my name to almost all these posts and have it be accurate. I was also the sweaty mom at the playground. His pedi wasn't much help but we finally found a good pediatric psychiatrist (after a horrible experience with another one). It took a while to find the right medicine and dosage but it has been life changing. Right now he's on Concerta for the ADHD, and Memantine (he also has ASD tendencies).

DS was 8 when he started on meds and I wished we'd done it sooner. It's actually one of my biggest regrets, but hindsight is 20/20 right? We had tried everything else, like you, and it just wasn't enough. He was miserable and I felt like a failure. He's 14 now and although he still has some challenges (don't they all?) he's doing well and is a really good kid.

Fortunately my DH was/is fully invested and on board. It was really isolating otherwise though. I cried myself to sleep so many times. No one really gets it unless they've gone through it.

[campermom]

Thanks everybody. All of these comments have been helpful.

Today sealed the deal for me. I’m at a campground with all 3 by myself while my husband goes to work and he went to time out SO many times, threw rocks several times when he got mad. It was an awful day. I felt so helpless bc I couldn’t punish my other 2 and take them from the pool, but I couldn’t leave them alone.

I have a virtual screening w the psychologist in Sept and she will line up testing around November hopefully. I’m hoping that can be streamlined. There really is no need for a cognitive and academic assessments etc at this age other than giving her interactions directly with him. We will see what she recommends.

[mae0111]

I’m sorry it was such a hard day, and I’m glad you’ve got an appointment.

We didn’t figure out that DD1 needed meds until she was almost 10, but looking back there were so many signs that were missed. She is not ever disruptive at school, but home has been so awful for so many years. We’ve calmed down with meds - we maybe have 2-3 solid meltdowns per week, down from 3-4 per day (just during the non-school hours). DD1 is very resistant to coaching so social situations are still hard, but improving.

I wish we did something sooner. You’re doing the right thing.

Personally, I’ve found this to be very isolating. I’ve only met one other parent that seems to be in a similar situation, and our styles are different. She chooses to keep peace in her household with unlimited screen time. I don’t judge her - I just don’t want to do that. But attempting to discuss this with friends leads to awkward silences and subject changes. I hope you are able to figure that part out better than I could.

ETA - she is on Vyvanse. She has shown some binge eating tendencies, and Vyvanse is used to treat that as well as ADHD.

[lightbulbsun]

I just wanted to add in my story. I got diagnosed with ADHD a little later, when I was 8, I think because I am a girl and because the diagnosis was more difficult to get at that point. I started meds right away (dexadrine, then later adderall). I turned out fine, lol.

I don't remember much, but I have been told that the change in behavior was immediate. I used to fall out of my seat at dinner pretty much every night, to the point where my mom would strap me in with a belt. Once I was on meds stuff like that completely stopped, but I've still always been myself when I'm on them. Its hard to explain, but I just feel so much more in control of myself when I'm medicated. In middle school my mom decided to see if I really needed the meds by taking me off of them for a year, and that was the worst year I ever had academically. I think it also messed with me socially, but who really knows because middle school sucks for everyone.

ETA: I did go through some guilt at some points thinking that the meds were giving me an unfair advantage at school, because my mom called them my "smart pills". But really, they were just helping me get on the same starting point as people without ADHD. And I think that's the point, ADHD gives kids a disadvantage learning and functioning in a normal environment, and meds help with that. It won't change your child's personality (as long as you find the right meds and dosage), and it's not some miracle pill to get smarter or behave better, but it gives people more control over themselves.

[campermom]

Update;
We have an appt with the psychologist who tests young kids at the practice that we’ve been going to for my son. I’ve been waiting for I don’t even know how long. They called to cancel tomorrow’s intake bc he’s not 6 yet.

They recommended a large children’s hospital.

NO, they don’t take my insurance and neither does the other 4 children’s hospitals nearby. They do for medical but not for behavioral.
His pediatrician won’t do a med trial without an eval.
So I told them no. It’s not cancelled. We are having the appointment. It’s just a parent virtual intake, without him. I emailed over the 1.5 page list of interventions that I have done with him (and had success with) but the fact that my 5 year old cannot sustain a trip to the grocery store over 10 minutes without melting down? He’s had a behavior chart on place for over a year and my kid can tell you all about the Zones of Regulation? That he has almost been hit by a car twice bc he runs away from me in the parking lot

Can someone please just test this child?

Here! He doesn’t need a cognitive or academic. He’s not on the spectrum. He doesn’t have language delays.
He is too youngfor the Conners so do the Conners Early Childhood.
Do some observations, some directed play.
Ask him some questions? He will TELL you “I get so mad and I forget to use my calm down tools”

[AdaraMarie]

That is so maddening, I'm sorry they're putting you through all of this.
My dd is older but ultimately did get diagnosed with both asd and adhd even thiugh her asd is not apparent to very many people it is there.
She is on adhd meds and has had ot and counseling for mind/body regulation and it is so frustrating.
She is doing so much better this year than in the past but she still doesn't know how to use her regulation strategies in the moments when she needs them even though she could teach a course on them when she is calm.
I hope you are able to get them to listen to you and take things seriously. I know all about one kid being an attention drain (and doing it alone as I am a single mom).

[lurkie22]

I'm so sorry they tried to cancel over something so arbitrary. I hope you get to keep the appointment. It really should be based on behaviours (especially when there's risk involved!), not age.

On a somewhat random note, I was thinking how much more stressful Covid times are when you have a child with impulse issues. I had to take DS for covid testing today and despite watching the video about how to do the test, seeing the nurse being in full PPE and having a full understanding (on an intellectual level) the risks, he managed to touch the floor of the testing room with his bare hands and then touch his eye before I could get him to the sanitizer. It makes having treatment that much more urgent to me, when there are kids out there who just can't control themselves. He was so upset after he realized he touched his face, but in the moment it's like he just can't control his body, no matter what the risk is.

I so understand what you said about the parking lot too - there are just so many more dangers when you don't know what your kid is going to do next. (And sometimes they don't know, either!!)

I hope your concerns get heard tomorrow and that you can start the process for treatment. Hugs.