You guys...4 yo dd told me last night that she told the black girl in her class that they couldn’t be friends because she’s a brown person. I’m horrified at how she must have made that little girl feel. We’ve had plenty of conversations about how people all look different, and that’s ok, and isn’t D’s brown skin and braids beautiful. I can’t believe she said that to her. So we had more conversation last night about how it’s good to be friends with all different kinds of people, like D who has brown skin and J who wears glasses, etc.
Anything else I should be doing? I already feel like I failed, and want to make sure I handle this right. She’s going to tell D on Monday that she’s sorry she said that.
Bernadine ouch. I agree, ask why she said that. And definitely have her apologize.
I think some people might think its too young, but I started having conversations with DS at a young age, like maybe kindergarten, about how people are treated unfairly because of their skin color, or gender and that he needs to stick up for those kids and/or tell a teacher. Kids hear stuff from their parents and parrot it on the playground, and I didn't want him to just not understand and shrug it off. He had to stick up for a classmate in first grade, unfortunately. So maybe you should have a talk with her about racism and how she can make things better.
I was getting dressed this morning and saw a huge bug on the wall. I turned to get my phone to take a picture (a friend of mine is an admin for Orkin and has done all the jobs so she could identify it asap) and TP so I could grab it and flush it. When I got back, it was GONE. Its in my BEDROOM.
I dont know what kind of bug it was, it was half dark because H was still asleep. I've been feeling the urge to puke all morning WTFFFFFF. I cannot stress how huge this bug was.
Yikes! I would definitely ask her why she said that and what made her think that was the case. I am horrified for you! I'm certain she did not get that from your house so i guess knowing where she picked that up might help identify next steps?
It is beautiful out again today. I'm sitting on my deck trying to get started on school work. I have to read and listen to a lecture, then meet with a classmate virtually at 5pm. I don't want to do any of this today, but at least i can sit in fresh air for it!
I am getting anxious about my biopsy on Monday. It is more the fact that i can't eat or drink and have to be alone for the whole thing that is making me anxious... I am pretty confident the actual procedure will be fine and that the result will be ok too. I just want it to be over with.
Yes I’d definitely ask her why she said that. And I would straight up tell her that people are treated differently because of the way they look and skin color, and it isn’t right. And not being friends with someone with brown skin isn’t nice and not something we do.
Bf and I got up and cleaned at 7:30am - just needed to vacuum and pick up the living room. It feels so good to be done prior to 8am.
I’m going to a girls’ night with my friends for the first time in 15 months! Yay vaccines and science!
I think Emily Yoffee did a Dear Prudence on that subject Slate just reran a few weeks ago. FWIW, I didn't love her answer but she and some expert said the child did it for attention and to basically ignore it. That's all very well and good for White Mom but not for the brown or black classmates and their families, IMO.
I'm not strict on most things but raising a white man who understands his privilege and consent is my hill to die on. If this happened in my house, in calm terms I'd let my son know the consequences if I ever heard such bullshit cross his lips again and step up our in-home education on privilege and and history.
Anyway, start fresh with her. It's not too soon for important conversations and unfortunately due to repeated killing of black and other people if color, there are a TON of resources on having those talks with your kids.
Also, I really hesitate to say this because I know you are already upset and feeling bad and I don't want to make you feel worse but it is important. In the next convo, try not to focus on the little girl's hair and skin being beautiful; that is its own kind of micro-aggression.
Round and round we go. I woke up to texts from DD’s friends saying I needed to check on her. Went downstairs and found her trying to drink Clorox cleaner. She only got a little on her tongue because of the taste, but when I think what could have happened...
She’d written an 11-page suicide note/will.
We’re at the hospital now. I need all the prayers and good thoughts.
Plus, DS needs an mri because his eeg was somewhat abnormal.
Bernadine Kids that age can be brutal. I’m wondering if she didn’t hear that from someone at school and just mimicked it.
Yep. My DS(also 4) has told me on & off this year that he doesn't like me because I'm a girl. He only likes daddy and papa because they're boys. We just discuss what he can say instead (that he likes how they play with him better). And I reiterate how hurtful his words can be when he talks like that.
Also ditto what circa1978 said. I'm raising a white male. We talk often in age appropriate ways that he gets to be a loud voice in support of black and brown people because of his privilege.
Bernadine, we have a book called A Kids Book About Racism that is age appropriate and has helped foster conversations with both of my kids. We started talking about racism and how/why people are treated differently by white people a couple years ago with them and I think having resources like this helped me bring it up in an age appropriate way. I also started being much more intentional about the books I buy for them around the same time and, as a result, the books we read almost always feature kids who don’t look like them. I think that has helped some too in that we can point out how various characters are both similar and different than us.
I woke up at 9! I feel so rested.
I just finished meal planning. Going to take DS1 for a bike ride before I pick up a library book and go to the grocery store.
Other than that, I’m looking forward to just relaxing and hanging at home this weekend. I’m planning to finish the book I started a couple days ago and start reading one my coworker sent me.
Post by sunnysally on Mar 27, 2021 11:46:50 GMT -5
katfco, I am sorry for everything your family is going through.
I tried to finish our taxes this morning, but I need H's drivers license number and he isn't home. I cannot believe we pay more in taxes than I made at my first professional job.
I also had to call my credit card company to dispute a charge. I have emails confirming refunds from Vietnam Air, but the credits have not appeared in my account. A dispute feels wrong, but the CC said it is the only way to go.
I also called the company we have our June vacation booked through and they said they are reviewing and will probably make the cancellation notice in a few weeks and to wait to make changes because when they cancel I will will have more options.
I feel all of the above is enough work for one weekend.
We have had a really fucking awful week. While there isnt a way to make it better, we are giving ourselves something to look forward to and going out to dinner tonight. The kids are going to my parents overnight. It will be the first taste of semi-normalcy in a year.
katfco, sending you many good thoughts and hope for your family.
I regret being generous with my notice when I resigned. My boss is being a giant dick, which is making my decision to leave feel so much better, but I am over the daily battle. I will be wearing scrubs at my new job, so I am buying myself new shoes, new fun pens, and thinking about a new backpack. I'm undecided on the backpack style I want though ... any suggestions on a medium sized backpack (I prefer more athletic styles vs leather or purse-y)?
I bought a Hoosier cabinet on Facebook from this peppy old man and I think I made a new friend. He was telling me about his cousin who might have a line on some original spice jars for it. Ha!
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen some random strangers to chat with. He was masked and told me he had both shots when I arrived. The new small talk!
circa1978, thank you for mentioning that, I’ll change what I’m saying.
She just said that D was different than her. I just bought Anti-Racist Baby for her, before this even happened, so we read that this morning. I’ll get a Kids Book About Racism too, and I’ll change the way I talk to her as well.
Oh my god, katfco, I’m so sorry. Huge huge hugs to you
Bernadine, you may also want to talk to your daughter’s teacher. There’s a good chance the other little girl told her parents and they’ve talked with the school. It’ll be good to let them know you’re aware, you’re mortified, and you’re on it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it but you have gotten good advice and I know you’re doing all you can.
katfco, I just want to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug. I can only imagine how hard this is but please know you are an amazing mother and doing everything in your power to help her.
It's sweet 16 weekend and I just watched the highly anticipated game between the two female freshman phenoms in the nation. It was a good game, and Uconn pulled out the win.
Now I have to try and not watch the other 7 games because I REALLY need to get some schoolwork done. UUggghh, decisions, decisions.