Post by starburst604 on Oct 4, 2021 15:16:19 GMT -5
DD is 6 and lately has developed a habit of telling tall tales and insisting they are true, or just being untruthful. I really don't like it. Examples are somehow the topic of a dead fish came up and she tells me that such and such boy at school scared her with a dead fish. So I asked questions that would uncover how untrue this was, like "where did he get a dead fish? where did he keep it? etc" and she just kept digging in her heels about it until I finally let it go.
Then twice last week she didn't eat the lunch I made for her and when I asked her why she said they didn't have enough time to eat lunch before recess which I thought was odd the first time, but maybe a fluke, but then she said it again a couple of days later. I grilled her on it and even said that I'd ask her teacher about it at our parent/teacher meeting next week and find out why she doesn't give her a enough time to eat lunch. She stuck with her story and I knew she was lying. Yesterday I made that same pasta, which she barely touched and then she finally said "I just don't like that kind, I only like the curly one". This just got me so enraged but I kept my cool and just said she should have told me that so I didn't keep sending that for lunch and that she needs to stop saying things that aren't true. She goes on to still insist she was telling the truth about not having time to eat lunch! Honestly, it's a quality of my H's that I hate - the tendency to exaggerate or gloss over details to make something sound either less alarming or more serious/funny/exciting depending on what his angle is. I see it coming out in her and I don't like it at ALL. I also hate that most of the time I can't prove she is lying.
And now, as I was writing this (!!!) I got an email from her teacher telling me that she twisted her right ankle at recess today, which I knew because the nurse also emailed me about it but said that she was able to move it and ambulate fine after some icing. Well, the teacher said she noticed her hobbling and asked if she was ok, she repeated that she had hurt her ankle at recess except this was the OTHER ankle and when the teacher pointed that out, she said she must have hurt that one too. She's always been a little dramatic about very minor injuries but this is just flat out lying.
I guess my question is 1) is this a normal developmental phase or am I raising a compulsive liar? 2) suggestions for how to talk with her about it age appropriately and get across that she needs to be truthful? If this is what she's saying to us I can't imaging what wild tales she's telling other kids.
I think this is developmentally normal! Dd went through a phase at age 6 and seems it have mostly outgrown it at almost 7. She did just tell me last week that their teacher didn’t let them eat lunch when really she meant she wanted to play longer so hurried through lunch and ate very little.
What type of lie it is depends on how I react. For your lunch example, I would use that as a teaching moment of the consequences of lying (you don’t get a lunch you actually like).
If it’s a fantasy tale that Bobby turned into a unicorn at lunch and flew away, I usually respond as neutral as possible with a, “hmmmm is this a made up story or a real story?”
I also don’t think they are necessarily intending to lie at this age (at least about some things!) We had a lot of problems with her telling us we didn’t tell her to do X. Really I think she gets so focused on other things that her brain either doesn’t process that we are talking to her, or she legitimately forgets we did. If she looks like she’s not doing it I ask her first to please listen, make sure I have her attention and then tell her what to do. It’s about 50% successful, lol.
I’m also not sure that they grasp the true meaning of some words, so they sound like they are lying but they mean something else. Sometimes I forget that she’s only been alive for 6 years, so doesn’t have the same vocabulary as an adult. We just had a total bus misunderstanding due to this.
I heard or read that until age 8 lies should be seen as "wishes". Something about brain development and they don't fully understand reality vs make believe until that point. Also that it is very common as they work it out. So you don't call them out on lying exactly but make it clear you know it's a made up story.
I really like @drbeckyatgoodinside on Instagram and she has a few videos on lying. This is an article from her but I know I've watched her talk more in depth on IG about it goodinside.com/blog/why-do-kids-lie/
Developmentally normal, unfortunately. I call it out when it happens, and emphasize that if he lies a lot, I might not believe him when he’s telling the truth. I figure he partly does it for attention so I try not to give him too much negative attention/punishment from it unless it’s truly egregious. Honestly him losing my trust is punishment enough.
My questions - has anyone ordered from primary and felt the quality sucked? I recently bought four shirts to tie dye, and they felt really cheap and thin. After pre-washing the seam is ripping out in three separate places on one shirt. Since it was just a craft project I’m not returning, but I’m pretty disappointed since everyone raves about what great basics they are.
Next question - how much homework does your first grader have? We have two books at their reading level a night plus math (35 questions in a week) and it seems like a lot. And this teacher said she didn’t believe in homework…
My questions - has anyone ordered from primary and felt the quality sucked? I recently bought four shirts to tie dye, and they felt really cheap and thin. After pre-washing the seam is ripping out in three separate places on one shirt. Since it was just a craft project I’m not returning, but I’m pretty disappointed since everyone raves about what great basics they are.
Next question - how much homework does your first grader have? We have two books at their reading level a night plus math (35 questions in a week) and it seems like a lot. And this teacher said she didn’t believe in homework…
We have 20 min of reading and spelling that usually takes 5 min. No math thankfully.
Post by starburst604 on Oct 4, 2021 20:58:57 GMT -5
moonpie my DD is in first and there have only been 2 assignments outside of daily class work. Projects that take a bit more work like “glue picture here and draw the family”. But other than that nothing. I’m actually surprised but pleased!
There is also a reward chart type deal when they read at home a certain amount they get a prize.
I heard or read that until age 8 lies should be seen as "wishes". Something about brain development and they don't fully understand reality vs make believe until that point. Also that it is very common as they work it out. So you don't call them out on lying exactly but make it clear you know it's a made up story.
I really like @drbeckyatgoodinside on Instagram and she has a few videos on lying. This is an article from her but I know I've watched her talk more in depth on IG about it goodinside.com/blog/why-do-kids-lie/
Well, if she wishes someone will scare her with a dead fish she should be careful what she wishes for. But in seriousness these replies are reassuring. I also asked a text group of friends with same aged kids and about half replied they are dealing with the same. One mom said she has a pathological liar on her hands, ha!
starburst604 - Totally common and really annoying. My older kid is 7 and doesn't really "lie" but definitely digs in on things he has no way of knowing. We've had hundreds of arguments about driving laws. It's fun. For more imaginary type lying, I typically make it clear that I know it's a story, but maybe entertain it as a hypothetical. For lying about things he might get in trouble for, it's more complicated...I kind of work backwards and work REALLY hard on not getting mad when he volunteers the truth up front and try to approach it as helping him make things right (this is hard and not my natural response). I also make it clear when he digs in on a lie for something that he'd already be in trouble for, that there are consequences for the behavior AND the lying.
moonpie - my kid's in 1st. His teacher said that all homework assigned is "optional" although I think she expects us to do it. I've mostly decided not to do any of it. In general, I think 6.5 hours/day of school and plenty and we did online school last year so I'm 100% done facilitating that for now. He does have a bag full of super short readers that he's supposed to practice, but no specific time or due date. We are working on that, mostly because my kid likes it. He feels super cool being able to read to his younger brother.
moonpie I bought stuff from primary once and it immediately pilled, and got holes in the seams after one wash. I was also super disappointed since everyone raves about it. They're all pajama clothes now and my kid loves how comfy they are, but I'd not spend that much just for pajamas.
moonpie we have two sides of a math sheet every night, and directions to read for 15 minutes and practice sight words (they get a different sheet of sight words every week). I wasn’t really expecting homework in first grade, so I’m not a fan of the worksheet every single night. We just count his normal bedtime reading as his reading homework, and we don’t time it.
My almost-4 year old has started with the lying thing! Like stupid random stuff that's obviously false, but she digs in big time. It drives me crazy! I was hoping she was about to outgrow this but you all are not giving me hope, lol.
Is there any solution to the 3 year old bedtime battle when school encourages naps for a kid who quit napping a year ago? Send help.
Just crappy sleep commiseration.
We got an email on Friday from the teachers that one twin wasn’t napping and wanting to explore ideas.
Monday after school we got a written official incident report that if she doesn’t sleep we will need to pick her up at nap time - basically kicking her out.
They are both growing out of naps and bedtime is now a 1-1.5 hour affair.
Is there any solution to the 3 year old bedtime battle when school encourages naps for a kid who quit napping a year ago? Send help.
We ended up locking her in her room. It was horrific and I still cannot talk about that period of life without getting emotional (and that was over 5 years ago).
Daycare was no help, the pediatrician was no help. It was terrible.
The only thing that worked was Santa brought a very special bed tent and we told her it would come down if she didn't stay in bed.
Is there any solution to the 3 year old bedtime battle when school encourages naps for a kid who quit napping a year ago? Send help.
Just crappy sleep commiseration.
We got an email on Friday from the teachers that one twin wasn’t napping and wanting to explore ideas.
Monday after school we got a written official incident report that if she doesn’t sleep we will need to pick her up at nap time - basically kicking her out.
They are both growing out of naps and bedtime is now a 1-1.5 hour affair.
😭
What? That's insane. I would push back on this. My DS stopped napping at daycare long before his classmates. He had to sit quietly and read, play with a quiet toy, or listen to his headphones during that time.
moonpie , so far we haven't had any homework in 1st which I'm happy with. They are too young for homework and studies back this up. They did send home some suggestions for things we could do at home for reading and math, but it really did seem like suggestions and wasn't any formal assignment. I do have DS read to me nightly, but we have been doing this for the past year or so regardless.
My questions - has anyone ordered from primary and felt the quality sucked? I recently bought four shirts to tie dye, and they felt really cheap and thin. After pre-washing the seam is ripping out in three separate places on one shirt. Since it was just a craft project I’m not returning, but I’m pretty disappointed since everyone raves about what great basics they are.
Next question - how much homework does your first grader have? We have two books at their reading level a night plus math (35 questions in a week) and it seems like a lot. And this teacher said she didn’t believe in homework…
Primary quality has definitely declined in the past couple of years.
My first grader has not had any homework yet. Last night he had an optional review sheet for his math test today, and he was SO EXCITED to do it, lol. We'll see how long that enthusiasm lasts once he has daily homework.
My almost-4 year old has started with the lying thing! Like stupid random stuff that's obviously false, but she digs in big time. It drives me crazy! I was hoping she was about to outgrow this but you all are not giving me hope, lol.
starburst604, commiseration. Like Poppy, my 4 year old does this too. it is weird and not logical. I usually ignore it because I think it is totally normal and just part of his imagination. But by 6 I think I would be a bit more annoyed.
We got an email on Friday from the teachers that one twin wasn’t napping and wanting to explore ideas.
Monday after school we got a written official incident report that if she doesn’t sleep we will need to pick her up at nap time - basically kicking her out.
They are both growing out of naps and bedtime is now a 1-1.5 hour affair.
😭
What? That's insane. I would push back on this. My DS stopped napping at daycare long before his classmates. He had to sit quietly and read, play with a quiet toy, or listen to his headphones during that time.
I asked if she could color quietly but they said no. They said they could try a fidget toy. We ordered her a weighted blanket too, and are sending more food at lunch in case she is hungry. It was just such whiplash yesterday. And my sister got kicked out of a private school, so I am extra salty about these things.
Is there any solution to the 3 year old bedtime battle when school encourages naps for a kid who quit napping a year ago? Send help.
Ugh, I can commiserate too! I was going to ask if there is a 3 year old sleep regression. DD2 is 3 on Thur (!) and the last few weeks bedtime has been a disaster. She's awake in her crib for 1-1.5 hours after we put her down, often yelling for us to come up. She still naps at daycare and at home, but I've been wondering if dropping it will help with bedtime. But they say she falls asleep at daycare so I doubt they will let her skip it. I don't know what to do, I'm just exhausted and sick of it.
Add on DD1 having night terrors again and I'm so over kids and sleep.
What? That's insane. I would push back on this. My DS stopped napping at daycare long before his classmates. He had to sit quietly and read, play with a quiet toy, or listen to his headphones during that time.
I asked if she could color quietly but they said no. They said they could try a fidget toy. We ordered her a weighted blanket too, and are sending more food at lunch in case she is hungry. It was just such whiplash yesterday. And my sister got kicked out of a private school, so I am extra salty about these things.
I'd be super salty too. Your girls are about 3, yes? That's totally within the normal range to drop nap.
I asked if she could color quietly but they said no. They said they could try a fidget toy. We ordered her a weighted blanket too, and are sending more food at lunch in case she is hungry. It was just such whiplash yesterday. And my sister got kicked out of a private school, so I am extra salty about these things.
I'd be super salty too. Your girls are about 3, yes? That's totally within the normal range to drop nap.
They turn 4 next week!
And to be fair, my kid shouldn’t be a jerk and keep other kids up. But like, let’s try some things before you threaten to kick her out for half the day🤷🏻♀️
I'd be super salty too. Your girls are about 3, yes? That's totally within the normal range to drop nap.
They turn 4 next week!
And to be fair, my kid shouldn’t be a jerk and keep other kids up. But like, let’s try some things before you threaten to kick her out for half the day🤷🏻♀️
That is crazy - neither of my kids napped after about age 2.5 and they just played quietly at daycare and no one said anything about it. As long as they are quiet I don't see what the issues is, your kid can't be the only child they have ever had not nap at this age?!
Does anyone else deal with cyclic vomiting syndrome with your kids? Both my girls have it and the episodes are getting more frequent for my 6 year old and she is now in real school and missing school when she has an episode. I would love to get some better strategies to avoid episodes or something to help make this better and less frequent. She has a well visit tomorrow and I want to press the pedi on it cause I feel like its just so far an answer of "well she just has this". Any suggestions?!
Is there any solution to the 3 year old bedtime battle when school encourages naps for a kid who quit napping a year ago? Send help.
Probably not the solution you're looking for, but I switched preschools because my son's former school wouldn't budge on forcing him to nap or be silent even though he's 4. It was making our home lives miserable and I couldn't deal with it for a whole entire year more. It's so unfair to the kids too! My son's current school offers a nap to the 4 year old room, but alternative activities are provided after 20 mins to the non-nappers.
I'd be super salty too. Your girls are about 3, yes? That's totally within the normal range to drop nap.
They turn 4 next week!
And to be fair, my kid shouldn’t be a jerk and keep other kids up. But like, let’s try some things before you threaten to kick her out for half the day🤷🏻♀️
Whhaaaat?! That's crazy.
Both of my kids stopped napping in the age 3-4 range. Daycare would require they lay down quietly for a period of time - 30-45ish minutes? (Lay down quietly does not need to be sleep. Snuggling a stuffed animal, looking at a book, quiet fidget toy) And then after that, kids could get up and play with whatever quiet toys the teacher set out (coloring, puzzles) on the other side of the classroom.
Most kids are dropping naps around that time. I'm always baffled when daycare would act like something like that is a brand new problem. No way my 4 year old not wanting to sleep at naptime is the first kid ever of the dozens and dozens of kids that have come through this class.
I would definitely push back and ask what solutions have worked for other kids in similar situations?
Next question - how much homework does your first grader have? We have two books at their reading level a night plus math (35 questions in a week) and it seems like a lot. And this teacher said she didn’t believe in homework…
My 1st grader doesn't have much at all. Occasional worksheets, but they are to be done with parents and not turned back in. She's doing a 1000 books project through school, but no specific reading homework.
Post by starburst604 on Oct 5, 2021 13:48:24 GMT -5
Where can I find onesie style PJ's in girl's size 7-8/Medium? With feet or without. DD really loves those and always says how much she misses wearing them, but everything I see has a hood and I know she won't like that for sleeping. These must be out there somewhere?
Where can I find onesie style PJ's in girl's size 7-8/Medium? With feet or without. DD really loves those and always says how much she misses wearing them, but everything I see has a hood and I know she won't like that for sleeping. These must be out there somewhere?
Where can I find onesie style PJ's in girl's size 7-8/Medium? With feet or without. DD really loves those and always says how much she misses wearing them, but everything I see has a hood and I know she won't like that for sleeping. These must be out there somewhere?
I just ordered some in a size 7 from Carter’s.
Thank you! I haven't thought to shop there since she grew into girls sizes. I'll check them out!