November check-in

[wanderingback]

Wow time flies!
How is everyone doing?

Question for discussion - have you watched anything good on hulu, netflix, etc lately?

[wanderingback]

I'm feeling pretty good!
All side effects from methotrexate completely gone now. Hcg is dropping nicely, down to 700. I'm almost tempted to skip my blood draw next week and go in 2 weeks instead, but we'll see how I feel.
Otherwise, I'm starting acupuncture again in a couple of weeks so I'm really looking forward to that. 

As far as netflix and hulu go - ever since the summer I've been on a kick to watch the ridiculously bad, but oh so good lifetime type movies. Usually about a man stalking a woman or a burglary or some other predictable story line. Killer Clove, Fatal Affair, My Teacher My Obsession and Deadly Switch have been a few favorites over the past few months lol. On a more serious note I did watch the Colin in Black and White (about Colin Kaepernick and racial injustices against Black people) over the past few days and highly recommend. 

[stellelinds25]

I'm doing ok most of the time. An acquaintance announced her pregnancy over the weekend...they did IVF too and we were on the same timeline, so that stung and brought some feelings back to the surface. Just waiting for my period to start (which I hear can be brutal after a m/c....can't wait for that) and if it doesn't start by Monday I have to go for another beta...last one was 19, so hoping it's 0.

I haven't watched anything lately....the last thing on Netflix was Virgin River, I need to watch the new season of You though!

[thedutchgirl]

wanderingback, glad your side effects are over!

stellelinds25, I'm so sorry about the announcement. It can be so difficult to hear, and at this time for you especially.

My transfer went perfectly last Thursday. Because I'm doing a modified natural, I'm only on estradiol and endometrin suppositories, plus two estrogen patches every other day. It is really nice not to have to do PIO or a much higher number of patches.

That said, I am finding myself symptom spotting a lot and trying not to. Without the PIO, the progesterone is more localized, so I'm not sure if all the symptoms would be the same. I had cramping Monday and Tuesday (4 and 5dpt) that I'm really hoping was implantation, but of course it is impossible to know. First beta is Saturday. We're not testing before--I'm too chicken. I am getting more nervous for it as it gets closer.

HBO: The Outsider on HBO--10 episode miniseries. It's based on a Stephen King novel, so it has those King horror elements. It's really good. Also, Insecure is back! Love Issa Rae.

[stellelinds25]

Nov 3, 2021 11:28:00 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

My transfer went perfectly last Thursday. Because I'm doing a modified natural, I'm only on estradiol and endometrin suppositories, plus two estrogen patches every other day. It is really nice not to have to do PIO or a much higher number of patches.

That said, I am finding myself symptom spotting a lot and trying not to. Without the PIO, the progesterone is more localized, so I'm not sure if all the symptoms would be the same. I had cramping Monday and Tuesday (4 and 5dpt) that I'm really hoping was implantation, but of course it is impossible to know. First beta is Saturday. We're not testing before--I'm too chicken. I am getting more nervous for it as it gets closer.

HBO: The Outsider on HBO--10 episode miniseries. It's based on a Stephen King novel, so it has those King horror elements. It's really good. Also, Insecure is back! Love Issa Rae.

Crossing everything for you that you get good news on Saturday!

[thedutchgirl]

stellelinds25, thank you so much!

My confession is that because I triggered ovulation (and I've never done egg retrieval or triggered before), I tested a couple days later just to see a "positive" pregnancy test. I've never had one before. If Saturday goes well, I'm totally testing for the real thing after we get the call.

[dove]

I'm 8 DPIUI #3. This will likely be our last attempt at this. I just don't have it in me and IVF is not something I'm wanting to do.
Like thedutchgirl I also triggered this time because MH was having surgery on the predicted ovulation date. I also tested just to see a line there (and to make sure I did it correctly). That might be the only time I ever see that in my life.

[thedutchgirl]

dove, hugs to you for doing the same thing. I hope you have a good outcome with this IUI, and if not, I hope you find peace. This is a rough process/time.

[dove]

Update - cycle day 1 today and it was 4 days early. IUI 3 is a bust.
I think this is it for us. I sent my dr. a message on the portal requesting a consult to talk about next steps or stopping treatment.
I am still against pursuing IVF. Doing IUIs was hard enough for my mental and physical health. My body has been through enough.
This is where the road ends for us.

[thedutchgirl]

dove, I'm so sorry.

[shananasplit]

Nov 7, 2021 17:54:07 GMT -5 dove said:

Update - cycle day 1 today and it was 4 days early. IUI 3 is a bust.
I think this is it for us. I sent my dr. a message on the portal requesting a consult to talk about next steps or stopping treatment.
I am still against pursuing IVF. Doing IUIs was hard enough for my mental and physical health. My body has been through enough.
This is where the road ends for us.

I'm so sorry. I'm wishing you peace in whatever life holds for you next <3 

[wanderingback]

Nov 3, 2021 10:47:01 GMT -5 stellelinds25 said:

I'm doing ok most of the time. An acquaintance announced her pregnancy over the weekend...they did IVF too and we were on the same timeline, so that stung and brought some feelings back to the surface. Just waiting for my period to start (which I hear can be brutal after a m/c....can't wait for that) and if it doesn't start by Monday I have to go for another beta...last one was 19, so hoping it's 0.

I haven't watched anything lately....the last thing on Netflix was Virgin River, I need to watch the new season of You though!

Ugh sorry about the pregnancy announcement. I checked in with a friend I text/call every few months and he let me know his wife was pregnant. It’s everywhere!

I watched season 1 of You and found it entertaining, I should binge watch the next 2 seasons

[wanderingback]

I’m sorry dove.
I hope you do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

[wanderingback]

I guess I kind of spoke too soon cause my latest hcg didn’t drop by 15%. So now my doctor is saying surgery is an option and should strongly consider it. My liver function had went up a decent amount after my 2nd dose of methotrexate and he hasn’t rechecked it so tomorrow I go back to recheck liver numbers. If liver numbers have gone down then can consider a 4th dose of methotrexate.

I really don’t know what to do because as much as I don’t want surgery this process really seems like it’s gonna last for 8+ more weeks at this rate and there’s still a risk for rupture at anytime. As much as I also didn’t want to do IVF the thought of another ectopic does not sound appealing either! On top of that my partner is out of the country so if I did have surgery this week I’d need to figure out who to ask to accompany me home.

[thedutchgirl]

Oh wanderingback, I'm so sorry. What an awful situation. I wonder if surgery might help to identify if there's a defect in that tube, or the other? That could give you more clarity on whether to go forward with IVF or if the tubes have been the issue and are correctible.

Then again, it could be a fluke. And I know you are very well aware of all this as a physician, but sometimes it helps to bounce ideas off others. I hope we can be a sounding board for you when you want it.

[pinkpeony08]

dove I’m so sorry. Sending hugs and peace with whatever is the right next step for you.

wanderingback ugh, how frustrating and a tough spot to be in.

[stellelinds25]

dove I'm sorry, I hope that you are able to find peace in your next steps <3

wanderingback I'm sorry that you got crummy news...hoping that your numbers are down and you can avoid surgery!

[dove]

Thank you everyone. I am not ok. The tears come and go.
But this is it. It’s just one more thing my “benign” brain tumor took from me.

[wanderingback]

Thanks everyone for the posts! Things seem to be stable now and definitely on the decline. So no surgery indicated. So just gonna keep going with weekly blood tests till hcg 0. What a long road.

Today we had a baby shower for a coworker. It’s the first time I’ve cried in awhile! I actually know she was trying for awhile so I’m very happy for her. Thankfully I could turn my camera off but then I got called to speak lol. A good cry is therapeutic though!

[wanderingback]

dove <3

[shananasplit]

Ugh. Had my baseline for my FET and my estrogen is too high. I didn't think to ask where it should be, but I'm sitting at 186. RE is having me come in Tuesday to see if it goes down and we can proceed. Trying to be more chill about it than I feel.

[wanderingback]

Nov 12, 2021 17:10:12 GMT -5 shananasplit said:

Ugh. Had my baseline for my FET and my estrogen is too high. I didn't think to ask where it should be, but I'm sitting at 186. RE is having me come in Tuesday to see if it goes down and we can proceed. Trying to be more chill about it than I feel.

Ugh sorry. I hope things improve on Tues.
I hope you can at least have a relaxing and distracting weekend. I just put on some trashy reality tv!

[wanderingback]

Beta seems to be steadily dropping now. So I’m crossing fingers that by 8 weeks from now I can be back to 0. I also had some vaginal bleeding yesterday which I take as a good sign!

[dove]

Nov 7, 2021 17:54:07 GMT -5 dove said:

Update - cycle day 1 today and it was 4 days early. IUI 3 is a bust.
I think this is it for us. I sent my dr. a message on the portal requesting a consult to talk about next steps or stopping treatment.
I am still against pursuing IVF. Doing IUIs was hard enough for my mental and physical health. My body has been through enough.
This is where the road ends for us.

Welp... I'm back bc I'm a glutton for punishment. Last cycle I said that IUI #3 would be it for us. Well the RE can't see us for a consult until after the holidays which would put us out 2-3 cycles. So guess who's on the IUI train again?
I figured it's better to do *something* than just sit there and not do anything until we can consult. 

I just wish I had the hope still. I'm just going through the motions at this point. 

[pinkpeony08]

Nov 17, 2021 10:30:22 GMT -5 dove said:

Nov 7, 2021 17:54:07 GMT -5 dove said:

Update - cycle day 1 today and it was 4 days early. IUI 3 is a bust.
I think this is it for us. I sent my dr. a message on the portal requesting a consult to talk about next steps or stopping treatment.
I am still against pursuing IVF. Doing IUIs was hard enough for my mental and physical health. My body has been through enough.
This is where the road ends for us.

Welp... I'm back bc I'm a glutton for punishment. Last cycle I said that IUI #3 would be it for us. Well the RE can't see us for a consult until after the holidays which would put us out 2-3 cycles. So guess who's on the IUI train again?
I figured it's better to do *something* than just sit there and not do anything until we can consult. 

I just wish I had the hope still. I'm just going through the motions at this point. 

My brother and sister in law conceived with iui while saving for another cycle of ivf. Even their RE said “I can’t believe that worked!” Hoping the same for you!!

[thedutchgirl]

dove, I hope an IUI works for you!

Since you have decided to consult with an RE, and I know you have concerns about the hormones, one thing you might want to raise with your doctor is mini-IVF or natural IVF, where you basically don't stim to get extra eggs. It could take more rounds, but you might avoid the worst parts of egg retrieval.

[dove]

thedutchgirl thanks for the insight! I currently see an RE; but when we started this adventure, we talked about avoiding IVF and hoped an IUI would work given my test results and overall health profile. Alas, here we are.

[thedutchgirl]

dove, oh good! Well hopefully it is a numbers game at this point on IUIs. I'm glad you are already established with an RE.

[Jalapeñomel]

Nov 17, 2021 15:04:48 GMT -5 dove said:

thedutchgirl thanks for the insight! I currently see an RE; but when we started this adventure, we talked about avoiding IVF and hoped an IUI would work given my test results and overall health profile. Alas, here we are.

I’m totally being nosy over here because I’m invested in y’all.

When we first started we said no to IVF, but then our line in the sand moved. If yours moves, it’s ok. If it doesn’t, that’s ok too. I’d give yourself grace if you do change your mind.

IF sucks any way you slice it.

[wanderingback]

dove, I don't know your history in regards to what type of infertility you have, but I did want to mention that it's ok to change your mind which also means it's ok to not make any specific decisions right this second. Maybe 1 month you want to do IUI and the next month you don't and just want to do timed sex and then something else the next month. Also, if you do consider IVF and want to know more talk to your doctor about specific concerns and different options (for example clomid only before egg retrieval instead of other meds too). Hang in there and I hope the journey continues smoothly for you.