I'm in day 1 of a 4 day training and it's PAINFUL. We're onboarding a new CRM technology and I thought this was a specific feature training to train folks but so far it's just learning how to train folks - ummm, I've done a crapton of training in my career so this is rough to sit through. I'm hoping it gets more feature focused...
"No apologies needed. Work and travel have been taking up most of my time these days so I haven't been seeing anyone as much as when we were in school. Hope I can connect with everyone at the next group get together. I hope all is well with you." (if I'm remembering right and this is a grad school friend?)
Like, I'd be polite, establish that you are busy, and not directly address anything that you don't want to.
How close of friends were you prior to the Simone Biles thing? And how nasty did it get? I didn't remember the exchange being that awful, but I might not have read everything. Also, wasn't that like 2 years ago now? Time has no meaning, so I have no idea.
oh man, Simone Biles' BFF emailed me. She says she owes me an apology and "stands by her feelings, but not how she handled it". And she wants to reconnect. I hate awkwardness.
Don’t engage. A text back “accepting her apology” is fine then move on.
The best replies to a “sorry, but not really sorry” emails are:
1) Lol, no I’m good 2) new email, who dis? 3) nothing. 4) an actual sincere response. Like, thank you for reaching out. And then either say you’d like to reconnect too, or that you still need some time, or that you’re not interested.
Good luck. She sounds exhausting!
It was a fairly sincere email. I'm trying to work out how I want to respond. Because the truth is, I feel like our friendship was kind of fading before that incident. And the Simone Biles thing was just final confirmation of, ok, this friendship isn't working. I need to figure out how to say, "It's fine, I harbor no bad feelings around the situation, I don't want it to be awkward or weird if we're in a group situation with mutual friends, but no, we won't go back to being besties again."
I think what you have is great, just leave off some. She doesn’t need to know all your feelings, just what you want to share.
Like, thank you for reaching out. I appreciate your sincerity and openness. I think it would be great for us to be able to reconnect.
And then just keep her with whatever boundaries you need.
"No apologies needed. Work and travel have been taking up most of my time these days so I haven't been seeing anyone as much as when we were in school. Hope I can connect with everyone at the next group get together. I hope all is well with you." (if I'm remembering right and this is a grad school friend?)
Like, I'd be polite, establish that you are busy, and not directly address anything that you don't want to.
How close of friends were you prior to the Simone Biles thing? And how nasty did it get? I didn't remember the exchange being that awful, but I might not have read everything. Also, wasn't that like 2 years ago now? Time has no meaning, so I have no idea.
So we were VERY close for the first half of my MBA program, up until probably early 2020, I'd say. H and I were in Montana summer of 2020 and then in our last semester, we were on different working teams in school and saw less of each other and then in 2021 I just started feeling like we weren't as good a match as I had previously thought. She was hesitant to get the vaccine because REASONS and honestly that really impacted my opinion of her and there was other weird Covid behavior stuff. There are other things that are too nuanced to get into here, but all in all, I was pulling away.
The Simone Biles thing was...weird. Because it felt like a joke to me, she obviously took it more personally, she said she couldn't believe I'd question her and told me that I hadn't been a good friend to her for awhile (which...wasn't totally false, see above). When I didn't respond, the next day she texted asking if I felt at all apologetic over what had happened and I didn't respond to that either because no I didn't and then that was it. And it was not even a year ago, I think it was the end of last summer.
The sort of complicated part is that we have two mutual friends that I am closer with than she is and the three of US are very close, like we've done a weekend away together and see each other fairly often. And she knows that so I can't say I don't see anyone lol. I don't want her thinking we're going to buddy back up and become a foursome because none of us want that.
I had another dream last night where I was still married to my XH. This time we were packing for a vacation with my family. Before we left I was trying to text my current H and tell him that I wished he was going with me instead. In real life I didn't meet my H until almost 9 months after I split with my XH, so this was obviously not very realistic. I woke up feeling very relieved that my H was the one sleeping next to me
But hell, do I need therapy or something? I have these dreams semi regularly (at least several times a year). I haven't seen my XH in almost 9 years and rarely even think about him beyond random memories of my life back then or when I see post or articles about divorce related stuff. I am tired of him showing up in my subconscious though! Go away!
I have these same dreams. It's like I've been with my now husband, but have to go back and suffer through life with my ex. It's a real nightmare. Reading the disconnect thread and realizing we've also been married 17 years, maybe my mind is reminding me that my "boring" marriage is not actually boring? LOL
Post by emilyinchile on Apr 26, 2022 14:10:47 GMT -5
Omg I feel so bad. I had a guy here doing maintenance on our heater, and he was wonderful - arrived early, polite, didn't overcharge me even though in my ignorance he totally could have. He asked to use the bathroom before leaving and then sort of rushed out saying he'd send me the payment info in a bit. You guys. I forgot that we had the water to our guest toilet shut off because it's been running. This poor man ran away from my house because he couldn't flush the toilet and must have been so embarrassed! And I can't exactly text him to say hey, FYI, it wasn't your fault.
Oh sweet Jesus. Our dog daycare lady called about an hour ago that her ex-husband had left a gate open and Donny got out. So I jumped in the car, H jumped on his bike and we went searching. We had a couple people say they saw him and I ran all over this trail by the creek and I'm so sweaty. H found him when he ran out the other side of the woods. He was so scared. Poor little guy. He actually did stop at home, though! Our camera caught him on the front step for a minute. Then he went on our regular walk route. I didn't think he was that smart.
The best replies to a “sorry, but not really sorry” emails are:
1) Lol, no I’m good 2) new email, who dis? 3) nothing. 4) an actual sincere response. Like, thank you for reaching out. And then either say you’d like to reconnect too, or that you still need some time, or that you’re not interested.
Good luck. She sounds exhausting!
It was a fairly sincere email. I'm trying to work out how I want to respond. Because the truth is, I feel like our friendship was kind of fading before that incident. And the Simone Biles thing was just final confirmation of, ok, this friendship isn't working. I need to figure out how to say, "It's fine, I harbor no bad feelings around the situation, I don't want it to be awkward or weird if we're in a group situation with mutual friends, but no, we won't go back to being besties again."
She stands by her feelings? Does this mean she still thinks she’s friends with Simone Biles? 😆
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
It was a fairly sincere email. I'm trying to work out how I want to respond. Because the truth is, I feel like our friendship was kind of fading before that incident. And the Simone Biles thing was just final confirmation of, ok, this friendship isn't working. I need to figure out how to say, "It's fine, I harbor no bad feelings around the situation, I don't want it to be awkward or weird if we're in a group situation with mutual friends, but no, we won't go back to being besties again."
She stands by her feelings? Does this mean she still thinks she’s friends with Simone Biles? 😆
I don't know lol I think it's her feelings that I wasn't being a good friend by questioning her obviously truthful and in no way insane declaration.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Post by sofamonkey on Apr 26, 2022 15:29:50 GMT -5
TR how do the other 2 gals feel about her? I’d probably ask them at this point.
After your last note, I can really see why you want to pull back. She said she still stands by her feelings. What, that you shouldn’t question her? If the other 2 don’t see themselves as close with her either, I’d just say thanks for reaching out, and you’ll think about what type of relationship you want moving forward.
TR how do the other 2 gals feel about her? I’d probably ask them at this point.
After your last note, I can really see why you want to pull back. She said she still stands by her feelings. What, that you shouldn’t question her? If the other 2 don’t see themselves as close with her either, I’d just say thanks for reaching out, and you’ll think about what type of relationship you want moving forward.
Or sent a snoop dog drop it like it’s hot gif.
Oh we've discussed it extensively lol They feel similarly. That they don't have any bad feelings toward her, but she did ditch one of them when the two of them were supposed to go to Nashville for a concert, SBBFF bailed and then went to Costa Rica with other friends instead. So. They're both ok just being, like, acquaintances < add that to the list of words I need spell check for.
She's someone who tries to be best friends with everyone and I just...have higher standards for my friends, I guess. I don't trust people who are friends with everyone.
TR,maybe you can reach out to Simone Biles and see how she usually handles things with this person. Being that they're BFFs she might have some good insight.
I'm fighting with my insurance company. I've had trouble walking for over a year now. At first I thought it was from working from home and COVID and I was just out of shape. But it's at the point now where I can't walk more than twenty feet or so without needing to stop. And I'm falling a few times per week. Just out of nowhere my legs give out and I'm on the ground. Obviously my quality of life has suffered. I went to my primary care who sent me to an orthopedist. They ruled out anything bone/arthritis related. So now my primary care thinks I either have MS or I'm just stressed from my divorce. She wants me to have an MRI, but my insurance has denied it for going on three months now. I'm so frustrated at this point.
Im not sure if anyone else has covered it but if your insurance is through an employee I would reach out to that employer’s HR rep and ask them to have the broker assist with this. That’s why employers use brokers (I say this as a Benefits Manager and a former insurance broker).
If this has already been covered I apologize for the duplication.