Chore charts and allowance

[isabel]

I want to implement a chore chart and allowance for the kids.

If you do a chore chart, did you buy one? Create one? What do you use?

If you give allowance, how do you give it and track it? Do you give cash or allocate it to a different account? 

Basically, just tell me what you do for these things because even though I can figure it out on my own, I figure you guys might have ideas I haven't considered.

[timorousbeastie]

I have this chore chart for DD: a.co/donwd1C When she reaches a certain amount of stars earned, she gets $. If she wants to save the money rather than cash it in right away, I keep a running total written on the chart as to how much she has saved. (I do it that way mostly because I don’t want to have to have cash on hand all the time. When she’s ready to spend it, I just use my credit card and deduct it from her total on the chart, saving me the hassle of giving her cash.)

[mrsGreeko]

We don’t tie money and chores together. The basic reason is that chores have to be done regardless of whether you feel like you need the money. It’s too easy for kids to decide they don’t want the money more than they don’t want to do the chore.

In our house you do your chores because everyone in a family has to help keep the house running. You get an allowance because everyone gets to share in the family “wealth.”

We give cash weekly. We keep a cash jar in our closet with small bills for allowance and activities that might require small bills. Equivalent to their age. They have to use it if they want candy at the store or v bucks in Fortnite or makeup or anything extra. They are encouraged to save in their bank accounts, but not forced since it’s their money. Generally we stay out of their money and let them spend it as they see fit (and make low stakes mistakes). Allowance ends at age 16. They get access to their savings account and get an associated checking account when they get a job.

We don’t keep track of chores on a chart because that’s just too much damn work for me. But most chores are things that are done at specific times (washing the dinner dishes, wiping the counters after dinner, taking out the trash after dinner) or things that affect them directly (didn’t do your laundry? Guess you don’t have clean clothes) so a chart isn’t required.

[isabel]

Jun 14, 2022 22:08:17 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

We don’t tie money and chores together. The basic reason is that chores have to be done regardless of whether you feel like you need the money. It’s too easy for kids to decide they don’t want the money more than they don’t want to do the chore.

In our house you do your chores because everyone in a family has to help keep the house running. You get an allowance because everyone gets to share in the family “wealth.”

We give cash weekly. We keep a cash jar in our closet with small bills for allowance and activities that might require small bills. Equivalent to their age. They have to use it if they want candy at the store or v bucks in Fortnite or makeup or anything extra. They are encouraged to save in their bank accounts, but not forced since it’s their money. Generally we stay out of their money and let them spend it as they see fit (and make low stakes mistakes). Allowance ends at age 16. They get access to their savings account and get an associated checking account when they get a job.

We don’t keep track of chores on a chart because that’s just too much damn work for me. But most chores are things that are done at specific times (washing the dinner dishes, wiping the counters after dinner, taking out the trash after dinner) or things that affect them directly (didn’t do your laundry? Guess you don’t have clean clothes) so a chart isn’t required.

They're not tied together for us either. Allowance is allowance because they're old enough to start having their own money. The chore chart is because I'm terrible at remembering to have them do stuff and I think they'll respond well to having a list rather than me just randomly being like "oh, you need to clean the table." I'll eventually phase it out with the expectation that they just do these things without being asked, but I think we need to start from this spot to get there.

I like the cash idea because I think physical money will help them get the concept better than just telling them how much they have. Where do your kids keep their money? Do they deposit it or just keep the cash in a certain spot?

[jj]

Kids definitely need experience managing money, but I struggle with the idea of an allowance because I think money should be earned.

We don’t pay for chores, but we do allow them to earn money for doing extra jobs above and beyond their expected contributions to the family.

[loira]

We don't have a chore chart, but I do have reward charts for violin practice and speaking French, because we talk a lot about jobs and what DDs jobs are (go to school, speak 2 languages, learn a musical instrument). Every day, if I feel like she's done her job for those things, she gets a sticker on a square. Each chart has 10 squares and upon completion she gets a dollar. So possible 2 dollars every 10 days. I just draw the squares on paper myself.

[winemaker06]

For weekly allowance, I used to try to keep track of small bills but couldn’t keep up. Then someone with older kids suggested a journal they can use, so I got each kid a small notebook, and made a checking-account type ledger in it. They can look at it any time to see balances, and we add and remove entries together. This gives us a chance to practice math too. And like a previous poster, I use my credit card for things for them and we deduct it from their paper “account”.

[gerberdaisy]

What do you all consider to be age appropriate allowances? Obviously this varies, but am struggling with what to give the kids.

We don't do a chore chart, have tried and failed. While I need to be better about asking the kids to do regular items, one thing we usually do is Sunday chore lists. No reward, just give them a list of items that needs to get done before we can have fun as a family.

I really need to be better about having my kids help out/do their part. In the moment its just easier to do it myself, but doesn't help anyone in the long run.

[mainelyfoolish]

I don’t have a chore chart, I just bug my kids when they need to get stuff done. Probably not the best method.

For allowances, I give my kids cash. I keep a stash of small bills and pay allowances every week on Saturday. When they were little, I tried having them divide the money into save, spend, share jars and it was a disaster…my kids just spent out of any jar or put everything into the spend jar because “they forgot.” 🙄 Now they either keep their money in one jar or in their wallets. Or they leave their cash dumped somewhere in their room, but that’s not my problem if they can’t find their money when they want to use it.

If my kids have accumulated a large stack of small bills, I will trade them for larger denominations and I have my small bills back to keep paying allowances. I also get the small bills back if my kids want to buy something online or at a store when they didn’t being their wallet; I put it on my credit card and they pay me back with the cash. The same 1s and 5s just keep getting recycled!

[VillainV]

[mention]gerberdaisy [/mention] most “experts” recommend one dollar per year of age per week. So an 8-year-old would get $8/wk or $32/mo. Younger kids do better with weekly. Pre-teens or teens should be able to handle a monthly amount.

This is a good opportunity to teach kids about saving vs. giving vs. spending, so especially for younger kids it might be helpful to give smaller bills and physically separate them into different jars for each purpose. As they get older, you can talk about budgeting.

One thing my parents did with me back in 90s was they would give me extra above my allowance to cover the cost of my weekly violin lessons, then I was responsible for paying my teacher myself. I think this started when I was 13 or so. So I had to budget for it and make sure I didn’t spend my violin-lesson $$!!!

[Jalapeñomel]

I made and laminated a chore chart at work, and it includes things like: feeding the dog and cat, picking up bedroom, putting away legos, putting away laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. He doesn't get allowance for chores.


We give our child money for doing things above and beyond the ask. For example, his teacher sent a note home that he helped out the new student at school one day, so he earned money for that. He decided to put his clothes away without asking, he earned money for that. We had to leave a fair early, because his sister was throwing a fit, and he didn't complain, so he earned money for that. He took his time on an exam instead of rushing through it, he earned money for that. 

He keeps his money in a money jar (lol), and then when he decides he wants to spend it, he has to make twice as much. He then puts part of it into a charity, part of it into savings and then can spend the rest. He wanted Splatoon, which was $60. So once he had $120, he bought the game for $60, put $10 into a charity fund, and then $50 into savings. 

[mrsGreeko]

Jun 14, 2022 22:36:56 GMT -5 isabel said:

Jun 14, 2022 22:08:17 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

We don’t tie money and chores together. The basic reason is that chores have to be done regardless of whether you feel like you need the money. It’s too easy for kids to decide they don’t want the money more than they don’t want to do the chore.

In our house you do your chores because everyone in a family has to help keep the house running. You get an allowance because everyone gets to share in the family “wealth.”

We give cash weekly. We keep a cash jar in our closet with small bills for allowance and activities that might require small bills. Equivalent to their age. They have to use it if they want candy at the store or v bucks in Fortnite or makeup or anything extra. They are encouraged to save in their bank accounts, but not forced since it’s their money. Generally we stay out of their money and let them spend it as they see fit (and make low stakes mistakes). Allowance ends at age 16. They get access to their savings account and get an associated checking account when they get a job.

We don’t keep track of chores on a chart because that’s just too much damn work for me. But most chores are things that are done at specific times (washing the dinner dishes, wiping the counters after dinner, taking out the trash after dinner) or things that affect them directly (didn’t do your laundry? Guess you don’t have clean clothes) so a chart isn’t required.

They're not tied together for us either. Allowance is allowance because they're old enough to start having their own money. The chore chart is because I'm terrible at remembering to have them do stuff and I think they'll respond well to having a list rather than me just randomly being like "oh, you need to clean the table." I'll eventually phase it out with the expectation that they just do these things without being asked, but I think we need to start from this spot to get there.

I like the cash idea because I think physical money will help them get the concept better than just telling them how much they have. Where do your kids keep their money? Do they deposit it or just keep the cash in a certain spot?

They all keep it in different places. My kids are quite a bit older now. My almost 16 year old carries a purse so she keeps some in there. She also has a “savings” jar in her room and she puts all changes and $1 bills in there and then deposits in the ATM when it is full (she has access to her bank account and has a checking account and ATM card since she has a job).

My 13 year old has a box that she keeps her money in usually. She moves hers around more though.

My 10 year old uses a box I think too.

I let them figure out where to keep their money safe. And there’s been some lessons learned with that. My 10 year old DS got 2 $100 bills for Christmas and a $50 bill and left them out and our dog ate them (luckily the mutilated currency division reimbursed the money, but it was terribly upsetting). So now he knows to keep his money somewhere safe where the dog can’t get it.

[VillainV]

Just a note about where to “keep” the money — C has a wallet and a piggy bank where he keeps a small amount of cash (maybe $30-40). If he accumulated more than that, we can deposit it for him into his bank account (we take the cash, and transfer the same amount into his account). He has a “spending” and a “savings” account and it’s easy to transfer between them. He doesn’t have a debit card, so if he wants to make a large purchase and doesn’t have enough cash on hand, we’ll pay for it and transfer money from his account to ours.

[thebreakfastclub]

Just knowing myself, I'm not motivated to create or follow through on any kind of chart.

My 9yo is 100% responsible for his personal laundry and a load of towels for the whole house each week. He earns $5 a week allowance for this.

He's trying to earn $100 for some video game that releases in Nov, so we brainstormed extra chores he can do every week to get there. I reserve the right to decrement pay for a bad attitude, lol.

[moonpie]

We failed at a chore chart. We also don’t do an allowance.

Dd does have extra chores she can do for money. She picks when she does them, and I give her money when she’s done based on what the chore is. It’s not standard stuff like make your bed and clean up after yourself. It’s things like matching all the clean socks (omg my family goes through socks), helping the 3 year old clean up her room, collecting/sorting the dirty laundry. Basically stuff that helps me that isn’t her responsibility. I’m outsourcing my own chores, lol.

[achi]

My son is about to be 7. I printed and laminated this chart: www.vivaveltoro.com/free-printable-chore-chart-kids/

I use dry erase markers to change out the chores as some are seasonal, or whatever other reason they may change. The general rule we follow is that he gets a check for each chore he makes a decent effort to complete. If he's falling behind on something and we have to remind him multiple times and/or he flat out refuses he gets an x. Three x's means he's in danger of losing his allowance for the week and he will have to do extra to re-earn it. So far it's only come to that once.

[missva]

For those with kids old enough to have one, the Greenlight debit card and app have been awesome for us. You can tie allowance to chores and the kid marks off when they've completed them. Or you can add one off chores. There are also spending, saving, giving, and investing options. DS got one when he was 12.

[niq]

I have failed on charts at least three times, lol. But we're going to need to do some sort of good behavior chart next school year.

We have a chore "checklist" but there aren't any rewards. It's just for the basics in the morning and evening, plus putting away the utensils. We'll add setting the table soon.

We're not doing allowances, but we pay for extra housework like gardening, heavier cleaning (even vacuuming counts), washing the car, etc.

[isabel]

This is helpful. Thanks, all!

gerberdaisy, I decided to do a dollar amount equal to their age (so $7 for the 7 year old, $5 for the 5 year old) and I'm going to give them allowance twice a month, on the 1st and 15th, which is when my DH gets paid. Weekly felt like too much money, but I also didn't want to do a different dollar amount for some unknown reason that I can't figure out for myself. lol So this feels reasonable. I may increase the frequency over time or just give them an opportunity to make more through non-standard chores or good grades. The dollar amount will increase annually on their birthdays.

[heygrey]

We give our 8 year old an allowance because H and I each get an "allowance" - we take our personal spending money out in cash at the beginning of the month so we do the same for him. He gets $20/month - $10 spending, $5 saving, $5 giving. Typically I can make up 10/5/5 out of my own money and trade for a 20 from the ATM.

The spending money lives in a wallet in my nightstand. I have intentions of opening up a checking account for him, but I think he grasps the concept of physical money better and is less likely to part with it because he likes counting it and seeing it grow.

Saving is intended for something bigger when he's older. We've talked about the possibility of going on a trip when he's in high school, or a car, or college. Something substantial that will likely require more than he has, but he can contribute. (Again, I intend to open an account, but it's in my safe right now.)

Giving - this is the first year we're doing it, but we intend to have him choose a nonprofit and make a $60 donation near his birthday every year. He loves animals and has already decided that he is going to give it to a local wildlife rescue that we visit. We'll see if that's still his choice in February. (Also, cash in the safe and I'll just make the donation myself and save the cash to give him again the next year!)


Chores are completely separate and just an expected part of being in the family. We don't have set things, he's just expected to pitch in with a good attitude when asked. I want him to learn money management skills and so far this seems to be working?? We do occasionally offer opportunities to earn extra money for work. He can help return recyclable cans and keeps some of the money. We have been doing a lot of yard work and would offer $X for a specific task, like $.50 for moving a small pail of rocks. He can choose to do as much or little as he wants. He can also sell some things if he wants to earn more money. (I sell them on Marketplace.) I've also been known to give him $5 and just quietly donate things that aren't worth selling, but I'm happy to have him get rid of.

[dochas]

I could never decide what to do for allowance. My son doesn't spend a lot of money, so he ended up with quite a bit in his piggy bank from birthdays, etc so I started paying him interest on that. Every month he counts all his money and then we would calculate 5% and that's how much he gets. Now he has 1 envelope for long term savings and one for charity and 10% goes in each. When the savings hits $20 we put it in his online savings account that doesn't get touched. The charity one so far he's used for special school fundraisers. He just bought himself and xbox with money he saved in his piggy bank. And this month he will find out how much less interest he's earned since he spent a big chunk of money!

For "chores" I have put things on his dry erase calendar. Daily he has to play with the dog outside and practice drums. Beyond that there is really nothing scheduled. When it's time to clean we all clean together. He's 11 and he used to empty his hamper when full and fold his clothes when I brought them up clean. I just taught him how to wash and dry, so now he'll be doing that when his hamper is full. Paying for these tasks just isn't my preference on how to handle money. When he does something big and specific in the yard my husband sometimes pays him for that, or offers a day out together somewhere that costs money.

Edited - everything is cash. 

[dochas]

Jun 15, 2022 23:57:15 GMT -5 heygrey said:

We give our 8 year old an allowance because H and I each get an "allowance" - we take our personal spending money out in cash at the beginning of the month so we do the same for him. He gets $20/month - $10 spending, $5 saving, $5 giving. Typically I can make up 10/5/5 out of my own money and trade for a 20 from the ATM.

The spending money lives in a wallet in my nightstand. I have intentions of opening up a checking account for him, but I think he grasps the concept of physical money better and is less likely to part with it because he likes counting it and seeing it grow.

Saving is intended for something bigger when he's older. We've talked about the possibility of going on a trip when he's in high school, or a car, or college. Something substantial that will likely require more than he has, but he can contribute. (Again, I intend to open an account, but it's in my safe right now.)

Giving - this is the first year we're doing it, but we intend to have him choose a nonprofit and make a $60 donation near his birthday every year. He loves animals and has already decided that he is going to give it to a local wildlife rescue that we visit. We'll see if that's still his choice in February. (Also, cash in the safe and I'll just make the donation myself and save the cash to give him again the next year!)


Chores are completely separate and just an expected part of being in the family. We don't have set things, he's just expected to pitch in with a good attitude when asked. I want him to learn money management skills and so far this seems to be working?? We do occasionally offer opportunities to earn extra money for work. He can help return recyclable cans and keeps some of the money. We have been doing a lot of yard work and would offer $X for a specific task, like $.50 for moving a small pail of rocks. He can choose to do as much or little as he wants. He can also sell some things if he wants to earn more money. (I sell them on Marketplace.) I've also been known to give him $5 and just quietly donate things that aren't worth selling, but I'm happy to have him get rid of.

We handle things almost exactly as you do. The bolded is a great idea!

[al dente]

Can I bump this since so many people (everyone?) said they don't tie chores into allowance, but pay for "extra" household cleaning?

Do your kids not ask for money when it comes to basic chores? I paid my kid today to vacuum, and then when night came and it was time to clean up her toys she was all "ehh how much do I get paid for cleaning this?" Lol. I feel like this is going to become a thing of being paid for every little thing I tell her to do.

I would like to have her start having some agency over money, but we are the only people she will get money from. So now idk how to do that without it being linked with chores.

[waverly]

I link mine to chores. My mom did pay for each task like folding laundry was a set amount for example 25 cents.

I just give mine $5 a week for their chores. And I don’t break out each chore. But it is for chores in general.

Mine do a lot though so I think we are past the point of them just getting themselves ready and picking up their toys and that kind of thing. They are older, 11 and 9, so their chores are becoming managing household tasks necessary for our home to function and more added all the time. I may need to give them a raise!

Also they still have to do the chores. They don’t have the option to not do them because they don’t want the money. They still have to do them and they still get paid. It’s like a job like you don’t get to go to your job and say I don’t want to be paid so I don’t do this task. You still have to do the work and the law says they still pay you.

[AdaraMarie]

al dente My kids get $10/week and they also have chores to do. They are not linked partly because I didn't want the problem you have.
Their privileges are linked to completion. They know if the ask to play with their friends or watch tv the first thing I will ask is if their chores for the day are done.

[isabel]

Jun 28, 2022 3:00:27 GMT -5 al dente said:

Can I bump this since so many people (everyone?) said they don't tie chores into allowance, but pay for "extra" household cleaning?

Do your kids not ask for money when it comes to basic chores? I paid my kid today to vacuum, and then when night came and it was time to clean up her toys she was all "ehh how much do I get paid for cleaning this?" Lol. I feel like this is going to become a thing of being paid for every little thing I tell her to do.

I would like to have her start having some agency over money, but we are the only people she will get money from. So now idk how to do that without it being linked with chores.

So I'll give you my update.

I explained to my kids that they get allowance regardless of what they do because I feel it is important that they have money and learn how to spend it.

They are required to do chores because everyone in our house does chores. This includes standard daily things (like putting your dishes in the dishwasher, putting your clothes away after they're washed, etc.), but also bigger chores that we may ask, like vaccuming. If you don't do your standard chores that you know to do, you don't get video game time. If you don't do the extra chores you're asked to do, same result. They're both highly motivated by screen time, so this is really easy for us.

I am also finding myself talking to them more frequently about how running our household works. For example, DS1 was going to recycle a cup of yogurt the other day. I told him he needed to rinse it out before putting it in the recycling bin. He said he didn't want to do that. We had a conversation about who is going to do that if he doesn't. He kind of rolled his eyes, but he rinsed it out after we discussed that DH or I would have to handle it if he didn't. I think that aspect is helping too and making him realize how much effort H and I put in around the house.

So I think to untie money from chores, you need to freely give allowance (I give it on the 15th and 30th of every month because that is when DH is paid and I figured it would be easier for me to remember). Then you have to find their "currency" for not doing stuff around the house. Can't get chores done? That's fine, but you won't have any fun either. Same thing as AdaraMarie.

[heygrey]

Jun 28, 2022 3:00:27 GMT -5 al dente said:

Can I bump this since so many people (everyone?) said they don't tie chores into allowance, but pay for "extra" household cleaning?

Do your kids not ask for money when it comes to basic chores? I paid my kid today to vacuum, and then when night came and it was time to clean up her toys she was all "ehh how much do I get paid for cleaning this?" Lol. I feel like this is going to become a thing of being paid for every little thing I tell her to do.

I would like to have her start having some agency over money, but we are the only people she will get money from. So now idk how to do that without it being linked with chores.

I don't pay for extra household cleaning, because even if it's not something done daily (dusting, vacuuming, washing sheets, etc.) it is still done regularly. 

The things I pay for are one off or seasonal tasks that H and I are already doing, but even some tiny help is useful. We do yard clean up in the spring and we've done major landscaping projects the last two years. There are lots of little tasks involved in those that DS can help with for a few dollars. 

[mrsGreeko]

Jun 28, 2022 3:00:27 GMT -5 al dente said:

Can I bump this since so many people (everyone?) said they don't tie chores into allowance, but pay for "extra" household cleaning?

Do your kids not ask for money when it comes to basic chores? I paid my kid today to vacuum, and then when night came and it was time to clean up her toys she was all "ehh how much do I get paid for cleaning this?" Lol. I feel like this is going to become a thing of being paid for every little thing I tell her to do.

I would like to have her start having some agency over money, but we are the only people she will get money from. So now idk how to do that without it being linked with chores.

We don’t tie chores and allowance, but if they are looking to earn extra money they can ask me if I have any chores that are paid. And then I will find them a chore to do that I’m willing to pay for. Usually weeding, picking up dog poop, wiping down baseboards, stuff like that.

So there is clear delineation between the chores that they are always expected to do as part of the family and the “extra” paid chores that they can ask for if they want to earn extra money.

[quesyrah]

Chores and allowance aren’t connected in my house.

Chores are done because we all share the responsibility of keeping our home.

Allowance is strictly to teach budgeting and good money habits. They are 8 and 12 and get $10 a month. They have bank accounts (and debit cards), so at the beginning of each month, I have an auto transfer from our joint checking to each of theirs.

[quesyrah]

Jun 14, 2022 22:55:33 GMT -5 jj said:

Kids definitely need experience managing money, but I struggle with the idea of an allowance because I think money should be earned.

We don’t pay for chores, but we do allow them to earn money for doing extra jobs above and beyond their expected contributions to the family.

My kids jobs are to do well in school, be good listeners, be helpful to their parents, etc. because they’re kids.

We don’t dock their allowance or anything though because even if I don’t perform perfectly at my job every single day they will still pay me.

But that may be a helpful way to look at “earning” their allowance.