There are plenty of ways kids get around it too. My oldest’s phone was super locked down. But she figured out that she could hot spot the phone to make other devices work without triggering screentime rules or wifi limits. She also found a friend willing to sell her his old phone for cheap so she had a burner phone that had no limits on it. I think a lot of parents are doing the best they can, but it’s HARD because there are so many avenues around the roadblocks parents put up. For everyone in this thread saying their kid’s phone is super locked down there are probably at least a handful of kids who have figured out ways around it and their parents don’t know yet.
Your DD is going to do some great things in life. I know it led y’all to some super bad times but I kind of admire her tenacity!
Lol, it will most definitely serve her well in the future, but it definitely makes parenting super frustrating.
If I could step on my soapbox for a moment as an anti-truancy attorney, please make sure that you set a phone curfew for kids of all ages in addition to other forms of "locking down" the phone. 1-2 hours before bedtime, the phone gets handed over to you until the morning. Get a regular alarm clock instead of letting them use the phone's alarm. Even if they don't have social media on their phones, the number of kids I've met with who stay up late or wake up in the night just to watch YouTube for hours upon hours without parents having any idea .....
Yep all technology (school laptop, iPad, phone) has to be charging downstairs by 9 pm on school nights and 9:30 on weekends. Later can be negotiated for school reasons and that’s it. DD will wake up to texts sent at 1 am from friends. It’s crazy to me!
Same. On school nights all devices are off at 830. DD does have a computer and tv in her room but 99% of the time once she falls asleep she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night.
If I could step on my soapbox for a moment as an anti-truancy attorney, please make sure that you set a phone curfew for kids of all ages in addition to other forms of "locking down" the phone. 1-2 hours before bedtime, the phone gets handed over to you until the morning. Get a regular alarm clock instead of letting them use the phone's alarm. Even if they don't have social media on their phones, the number of kids I've met with who stay up late or wake up in the night just to watch YouTube for hours upon hours without parents having any idea .....
There are plenty of ways kids get around it too. My oldest’s phone was super locked down. But she figured out that she could hot spot the phone to make other devices work without triggering screentime rules or wifi limits. She also found a friend willing to sell her his old phone for cheap so she had a burner phone that had no limits on it. I think a lot of parents are doing the best they can, but it’s HARD because there are so many avenues around the roadblocks parents put up. For everyone in this thread saying their kid’s phone is super locked down there are probably at least a handful of kids who have figured out ways around it and their parents don’t know yet.
yup. If I had a dollar for every parent who has told me "but my kid doesn't have social media"...yeah, no. Sorry, parents.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
There are plenty of ways kids get around it too. My oldest’s phone was super locked down. But she figured out that she could hot spot the phone to make other devices work without triggering screentime rules or wifi limits. She also found a friend willing to sell her his old phone for cheap so she had a burner phone that had no limits on it. I think a lot of parents are doing the best they can, but it’s HARD because there are so many avenues around the roadblocks parents put up. For everyone in this thread saying their kid’s phone is super locked down there are probably at least a handful of kids who have figured out ways around it and their parents don’t know yet.
yup. If I had a dollar for every parent who has told me "but my kid doesn't have social media"...yeah, no. Sorry, parents.
Yes it kind of makes me laugh that some people (not specifically on this post just in general) truly think their kids won’t find a way around it. I’m not saying every single kid will do it, but plenty of them will. And my daughter tells me all about everyone’s secret accounts 😂
My daughter has more ‘freedom’ than most in regards to her phone m, but the novelty of a lot of it has already worn off because she doesn’t need to hunt down ways around it. This could very well bite me in the ass (check back with me in a couple years and I’ll update everyone 😂), but I’m trying to navigate how to approach it all without just blindly saying no immediately to everything related to the phone.
My DD is in 4th and I am noticing a lot more kids getting phones this year. Much to her disappointment our stance is that she will get one when she needs it. We work from home and currently she is never on her own (gets driven to/from school and all activities).
If she was walking to school or going to sporting events with a team we would look into getting a phone, but we will probably wait until 14-ish unless circumstances change.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Feb 3, 2023 22:28:19 GMT -5
My 4th grader has an old (really old) iPhone that is wifi only and doesn't leave the house. She uses it to FaceTime/use Facebook messenger kids.
For Christmas we got her an apple watch with service. She isn't allowed to wear it to school. It's useful because she's gotten into an uncomfortable situation at a playdate where the mom said DD2 wanted to stay and play, but she was super uncomfortable and wanted to come home. Now she can text me on her own and not have to talk to me on the mom's phone. She also has a lot of anxiety that one of us will forget to pick her up at after school activities, so she's allowed to wewr it for that.
Just last weekend I was at a big birthday party for a 5th grader. Of 15 kids, only 2 were on their phones during the party, and I was honestly surprised it was only 2.
ilikedonuts, there’s a REALLY fine line somewhere. I see it all the time on a parenting tech page on FB. People go to extreme lengths to make sure their kids are “safe”…only then to find out that they’ve found ways around it…and then those ways have no boundaries. Parents are devastated, and then try to somehow lock things down even more.
Complete permissiveness isn’t the answer, either, of course. My goal is to somehow not make it the forbidden fruit while also setting boundaries so they cannot get themselves into situations they’re not ready for yet. Thankfully, so far, my 6th grader is on board with this.
This generation of kids is *so* smart, resourceful, and incredible problem solvers. If we can channel this into good, our future is going to be in great hands.
Based on how much my 13 year old throws fits about not having social media I'm confident she hasn't worked around the limits 😂.
Now if she ever stops the incessant complaining I'll know she bought a burner phone lol.
What grade? I would love to hold out on social media access as long as possible as well. But I also want to achieve some balance between what my parents made me go through which was "NO TV EVER" and then I watched ALL THE TV I possibly could for the next 12 years after I graduated HS. Unfortunately I had the same behavior for all the other unreasonable things they adamantly denied us when we had to be under their rules.
Thanks everyone. I guess I should be surprised that 4th graders have phones. Next year they move to middle school so more kids will probably be getting phones for many of the reasons mentioned here. Unfortunately for DD, I can see the middle school from my front window so there is no reason she's going to need one.
Since I started the thread, I have learned that DD is apparently the only one in her class without an iPad. TBF, I did give her access to an old iPad I had from work but for some reason that's not the same. She never asks for it so I don't know why she thinks having her own iPad would be any different than the free access she already has to the one I offered her. Her best friend from class apparently has 2 iPads! I told her that's because she doesn't have any siblings so she needs an iPad for each hand. DD was not amused and would happily trade in her little brother for an iPad.
DD waffles between selling 2500 GS cookies this month (she's sold 0) to earn the iPad prize or else trying to find the money in her piggy bank to to go the store to buy one. 😂
Based on how much my 13 year old throws fits about not having social media I'm confident she hasn't worked around the limits 😂.
Now if she ever stops the incessant complaining I'll know she bought a burner phone lol.
What grade? I would love to hold out on social media access as long as possible as well. But I also want to achieve some balance between what my parents made me go through which was "NO TV EVER" and then I watched ALL THE TV I possibly could for the next 12 years after I graduated HS. Unfortunately I had the same behavior for all the other unreasonable things they adamantly denied us when we had to be under their rules.
She's in 7th grade. It's a weird mix of kids with no rules and kids who don't even have phones.
I'm willing to take the chance that she works around me, I won't knowingly let her have social media until 9th grade at least.
I learned recently that kids get around the no texting rules at school by having shared google docs that they write notes in. Like the modern passing notes, lol.
I learned recently that kids get around the no texting rules at school by having shared google docs that they write notes in. Like the modern passing notes, lol.
Yes. They can’t have phones out during school hours (except lunch) but find plennnttyy of ways to pass notes to each other via computers. My DD knows all of them tells me all about it. Perhaps I should discourage it but don’t. The days they have enough free time to pass notes are her favorite ones, lol. I just remind her to be careful about what they type because even if you erase it’s there forever.
We got trouble, right here in River City. With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Phone!
(The Seattle Public Schools try to lock down the laptops -- the math team can't play Skribbl during breaks because the school laptops block it -- but the kids play chess or download Minecraft "educational edition")
More seriously the "fix" is for teachers to nut up/put on their big girl pants and fucking take away the Distraction Rectangles during class or class-like activities.
More seriously the "fix" is for teachers to nut up/put on their big girl pants and fucking take away the Distraction Rectangles during class or class-like activities.
End rant.
Have you somehow missed all the news stories detailing attacks by students (and their shitty parents) when they "nut up" and ask students to follow the school cellphone rules?
Yeah, nope. This is a parenting issue, we don't get to shirk teaching our kids to be responsible with tech just because it's hard.
More seriously the "fix" is for teachers to nut up/put on their big girl pants and fucking take away the Distraction Rectangles during class or class-like activities.
End rant.
Have you somehow missed all the news stories detailing attacks by students (and their shitty parents) when they "nut up" and ask students to follow the school cellphone rules?
Yeah, nope. This is a parenting issue, we don't get to shirk teaching our kids to be responsible with tech just because it's hard.
Seriously. This kind of shit is why teachers are quitting in droves. It is not my job to monitor your kid's screen time. I use computers in my class for education purposes. Is that what you do at home, or you don't feel like parenting and want to dump it on teachers?
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
More seriously the "fix" is for teachers to nut up/put on their big girl pants and fucking take away the Distraction Rectangles during class or class-like activities.
End rant.
No the solution is for parents to "nut up" and be parents. Your response is just so obnoxious. It is your job to monitor your child's phone use. Be a parent and don't let your kid bring their phone to school, they can use the office phone if they need to contact you.
Parents lose their ish when the phones are taken away. I like the idea of having a spot for kids to check their phones in during class but people worry about phones being stolen. And many parents insist their kids must be able to contact them at all times and vice versa.
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
More seriously the "fix" is for teachers to nut up/put on their big girl pants and fucking take away the Distraction Rectangles during class or class-like activities.
End rant.
NOPE. Fucking parent your kid.
I mean, christ on a cracker. With all the extra shit parents expect of teachers, including managing the technology that parents send with their own kids, when the fuck do we expect teachers to actually get to focus on teaching?
This attitude is literally ruining education for everyone. And if you believe you support public education and have this attitude? You are part of the problem.
Parents lose their ish when the phones are taken away. I like the idea of having a spot for kids to check their phones in during class but people worry about phones being stolen. And many parents insist their kids must be able to contact them at all times and vice versa.
My son's middle school tried to crack down on phones this year, and at back to school night most classes had something similar to a shoe organizer, with each spot given a number and kids assigned a number for each class so they had a regular spot.
Within the first week, my son reported that a girl got busted for bringing an old phone to put in the organizer and keeping her actual phone with her. Apparently her mom had given her the old one bc she wanted the girl to be able to keep her phone on her.
From what I can tell, most teachers have given up at this point in the year, so I don't think the effort was a success.
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
I agree with this. At our schools, the kids literally have a computer sitting open in front of them at all times. It is an enormous distraction, and my son has actually said it is a big source of his struggles in class. He compared it to having a delicious cookie sitting directly in front of you all day, every day, and being constantly yelled at if you want to eat it.
You can tell by his grades which teachers are mostly paper-based and which are mostly computer based. He does so much better in the paper-based classes.
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
You don't have to sign up for school tech. Yes- it's a responsibility lumped on parents- you absolutely can say no. Or purchase your own and do better with the parental controls- or talk to the IT department about your concerns. You aren't helpless!
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
You don't have to sign up for school tech. Yes- it's a responsibility lumped on parents- you absolutely can say no. Or purchase your own and do better with the parental controls- or talk to the IT department about your concerns. You aren't helpless!
In my district we most definitely do not have the option to say no to the school issued Chromebook and they definitely do not allow personal laptops instead of the school issued chromebooks. During covid and up until this school year they allowed personal laptops, but starting this school that was no longer allowed. Because this way the school has chargers available, they have tech support available for those specific Chromebooks, they have control over what is and isn’t blocked so that you don’t have parents blocking YouTube when lots of teachers are using mainly YouTube videos in their classrooms.
The distractions device aka school issued Chromebook is a huge issue for my youngest. But, it’s required and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Tried seeing if I could add something to his 504 about getting a “dumber” Chromebook that had more limits or something for him and that was a no also.
You don't have to sign up for school tech. Yes- it's a responsibility lumped on parents- you absolutely can say no. Or purchase your own and do better with the parental controls- or talk to the IT department about your concerns. You aren't helpless!
In my district we most definitely do not have the option to say no to the school issued Chromebook and they definitely do not allow personal laptops instead of the school issued chromebooks. During covid and up until this school year they allowed personal laptops, but starting this school that was no longer allowed. Because this way the school has chargers available, they have tech support available for those specific Chromebooks, they have control over what is and isn’t blocked so that you don’t have parents blocking YouTube when lots of teachers are using mainly YouTube videos in their classrooms.
The distractions device aka school issued Chromebook is a huge issue for my youngest. But, it’s required and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Tried seeing if I could add something to his 504 about getting a “dumber” Chromebook that had more limits or something for him and that was a no also.
So, you don't have to sign any contracts- the school will accept any damages/lost/stolen computers as part of doing business? That's not the way it works here at all, and I would be a massive thorn in my entire district's side if they tried this. DS has his own laptop because he's a computer science kid- the school laptops are frankly, insufficient. There are plenty of kids at the MS level who don't have laptops because their parents won't sign the contract (which pushes damage/loss fees on us), and I don't blame those parents one bit.
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
You don't have to sign up for school tech. Yes- it's a responsibility lumped on parents- you absolutely can say no. Or purchase your own and do better with the parental controls- or talk to the IT department about your concerns. You aren't helpless!
I did talk to the IT department about my concerns. They sent me back an email that said we will look into it, and then crickets. My H even said yeah they aren't going to do anything lol.
There is literally no way for my kid to complete required coursework without having access to a computer, and they absolutely need it in class. They take tests on it, are given assignments that they need to submit electronically by end of class, etc. I don't think that buying my own device is a solution-- the problem is how much the computers are intertwined with the daily lessons, not an issue with the school supplying it.
For the 2020-2021 school year, the teachers were literally not *allowed* to use paper in the class. There was a lot of pushback, especially as we learned more about covid. So now teachers have the option to use paper or online. But even classes that are largely paper based still have elements that require a computer.
It sounds like cmeon's district may handle it differently, but it is absolutely not something that we can opt out of here.
Yeah, the COVID years (which is definitely NOT A THING here anymore) were weird for everyone. I am just blown away by the idea that public schools out there are sending kids home with computers- and parents are either not being made responsible for them financially- or they just all politely accept that they are?
I won't deny that it would be pretty rough to go through a day in HS without a computer, but my MSer could definitely get by without one. State testing has to be done on school issued devices, but that's really the only requirement (and schools have a few for that purpose).
My son watches You Tube videos in class on his school issued Chromebook. He is not bringing his phone to class or using his phone. It's the school device. We've talked to him about it at home, but if he is at school, how do I enforce it when it is a school issued device and the school says it has to be charged and brought to school every day? Personally I would vote that they use paper and pencil rather than a Chromebook, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And it certainly sped up with Covid eLearning.
You don't have to sign up for school tech. Yes- it's a responsibility lumped on parents- you absolutely can say no. Or purchase your own and do better with the parental controls- or talk to the IT department about your concerns. You aren't helpless!
The teachers use google classroom to assign work. They use Google sheets to write either group or individual projects,(typing is part of the 4th grade curriculum), they have to complete 90 minutes of iready a week- computer based, they research for projects, they take reading tests, they read books on the computer if the teacher or library doesn’t have one they like. The kids don’t use the computer constantly, but you can’t opt out here. My DD moves between 4 classrooms most days and they carry the computer with them. Edit my DD is currently working on group projects about the water resources of Pakistan, the history of the Pueblo people of Colorado, and the economic drivers of France. The other kids in these classes all have different countries or native nations. They also frequently make their own videos and TV shows. They couldn’t do any of that without a computer.