According to my MIL, the dog’s “best friend is a cat.” I’m not 100% sure what that means, but it sounds like he’s befriended at least one neighborhood cat.
And my cat thinks she’s a dog, so there’s that. She was also fostered with a dog and apparently got along great with him. That was a little dog though.
Well, in my experience, there’s always a lot of hissing and excitement on everyone’s part in the beginning and then they settle and adjust:) I have put my cats in my bedroom before, which is fine, except that the litter is then also in my bedroom. Dogs also like to eat treats from teh litter box, so that’s something else to consider.
I love to travel with my dog, but sometimes it’s nice to just be free of that responsibility! Are they in a city that would have decent boarding options? We have one we really like.
They usually board him. My MIL has just been obsessed with this idea for literally years now. It’s like a bucket list dream for her or something. I can’t even explain it.
I honestly can’t imagine this happening on my house. But I just realized that no one in our immediate families have pets. Neither do my closest friends.
The thing with traveling with pets, isn’t it a lot more work? Are they going to bring their dog to every dinner or activity out?
It sounds like the worst trip ever TBH. None of the national parks they want to see allow dogs and apparently it’s hard to find dog-friendly hotels.
I’m hoping this ridiculous idea dies on its own.
Do they know bringing their dog will affect the stuff y’all will do? I’ve had a dog before and never ever traveled with him because that isn’t a vacation to me.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else would do. It is acceptable for you to make the decision to say no to this, and I think if that is what you want, you should say no.
A simple statement is fine. “We will not be able to have the dog at our house, please make other arrangements” or “no thank you” is adequate.
It is your house. Tough shit for them.
My H is the one who’s been trying to soften me. The question is, do I REALLY want to make this a whole thing? I need to pick my battles, especially when it comes to his family. (It’s not like my mom is so easy to deal with!) And he says he’ll owe me one …
Hmm. With this added info, I’d ask ahead what specifically he will owe me before I agree. Haha! But I’d likely say yes in your shoes, and evaluate before any future visits.
It sounds like the worst trip ever TBH. None of the national parks they want to see allow dogs and apparently it’s hard to find dog-friendly hotels.
I’m hoping this ridiculous idea dies on its own.
Do they know bringing their dog will affect the stuff y’all will do? I’ve had a dog before and never ever traveled with him because that isn’t a vacation to me.
This is my thing with my mom and her dog too. She wanted to bring her for Christmas last year, and while I didn’t outright say no, she thankfully read between the lines and boarded her.
Her dog is crazy anxious and has multiple sedatives that my mom gives her. If she had brought the dog here, it would have severely limited my mom’s ability to do literally anything with my kids, even taking them to the park. I just don’t understand why you would want to drive many hours to stay somewhere knowing that you are going to have all the responsibility of dealing with a dog who can’t really be left alone for long periods of time.
The only time we bring the dogs when we travel is when we go camping. Even then, it depends on if we want to deal with them.
We used to bring the dogs to my parents house, at their insistence, which worked fine for the most part. Our dogs are fine around people, etc etc. HOWEVER for some reason, one of the dogs always found and rolled in poop in their backyard. They didn’t own dogs, and figured it was from the neighbor’s dogs. This happened twice. Once was in the middle of winter, and my cousin and I donned makeshift covers by putting trash bags with arm and head holes cut out. The second time was warmer, but there will never be a third time. So, I politely decline any inclusion of them at any invitation. Haha.
Well the other day my friend brought their dog over when they visited for brunch. He ate a piece of my son’s wooden toy and broke it. We’re missing the Y in his alphabet puzzle now. So. No thank you.
I love dogs but I don’t really love other dogs in my house. My dog doesn’t shed, doesn’t drool, doesn’t eat kids toys, and doesn’t lick. When it’s warm and they can be outside, it’s fine but definitely no overnight visits.
Absolutely not. I honestly find it weird how people just show up with their dogs and assume it's fine. I volunteer at a kids activity thing, and the amount of times someone shows up with a dog assuming it's ok shocks me.
Anyways I also don't want to be cleaning up fur forever and ever or having dirty floors from the dog going in and out. I barely want my dog in my house, nevermind a second dog that I have no attachment to. Hard no.
That's a hard and immediate pass in my house. I don't have dogs, but have two cats. I can't imagine trying to temporarily introduce a dog into their environment. Also, I just don't like dogs and would be so stressed out about the shedding and dirt a dog would track in. But I imagine that is very dependant your feelings to your in laws, their dog, and how much stress you can handle.
What's their backup plan if your cat and their dog won't tolerate each other? Are they willing to board the dog in your town?
I told my H that if that happens, they need to find a hotel.
I think my feelings about this are probably colored by how ridiculous my MIL can be about this dog. I posted before, for example, about how they let the dog lick all the plates and utensils before they put them in the dishwasher. THAT won’t happen in my house under any circumstance.
You can't run yourself ragged policing the dog their entire visit though, that just won't be sustainable. I would expect some shenanigans like plate licking to occur. Also will the dog be in a crate overnight? Do you have a fenced yard for it?
To answer your question we don't have pets and as people and a home not set up for animals we don't host them.
We are fine with dogs visiting our house, within reason. My MIL has mostly outdoor dogs that aren't indoor trained, so she doesn't bring them because we live in an apartment.
Otherwise, the dogs that mostly come over are my friends who have little dogs. I have a border collie who couldn't care less about other dogs and pretty much just ignores them.
Our own dogs have needed a lot of time to prove they are safe and trustworthy to our cat who was here before them. She acts like a dog but really is only interested in being with the people family members and not the dog family members. It seems like potentially a lot of stress for your cat for a short-term visitor. You can confine the dog to designated areas of the house for the cat to have undisturbed space. We use baby gates set up with space left at the bottom so our cat can go back and forth to the dog zone if she chooses but our dogs are larger and cannot fit under there. I don’t think I would even get into that for a short term visitor though. If I agreed to let the dog stay, I would keep them separated.
I told my H that if that happens, they need to find a hotel.
I think my feelings about this are probably colored by how ridiculous my MIL can be about this dog. I posted before, for example, about how they let the dog lick all the plates and utensils before they put them in the dishwasher. THAT won’t happen in my house under any circumstance.
You can't run yourself ragged policing the dog their entire visit though, that just won't be sustainable. I would expect some shenanigans like plate licking to occur. Also will the dog be in a crate overnight? Do you have a fenced yard for it?
To answer your question we don't have pets and as people and a home not set up for animals we don't host them.
Lol yes, dogs aren’t great at following one set of rules at one place and another set of rules at another.
I love dogs, but ironically we stopped allowing my MIL to bring her dog over once we had a kid. The dog was older and just really particular and we all agreed that it was best she stayed home. (They're local, so it wasn't anything overnight.)
I remember once years ago we went to a SB party and ended up leaving early because our last dog was young and we didn't want her crated too long. The hosts were all apologetic that they should have told us to bring her and it would be NBD.
A PP said above, your house, your rules. If someone said no dog, I would respect that. Part of ownership is the cost of boarding/pet sitting when you're traveling.
Post by emilyinchile on Feb 6, 2023 7:16:33 GMT -5
I took my dog to a lot of other people's houses (always with enthusiastic consent) and love dogs and would be happy to host a non-destructive one in my apartment. Even with all that, I think it's more normal NOT to bring your dog/allow someone to bring their dog, so I see no problem in saying that it just doesn't work for you guys.
I have dogs and a cat. From my experience, it takes a long time (weeks to months) for a dog and cat to become comfortable and friendly with one another. I've let some friends bring their dogs to my house, but mostly in the nice weather when we're going to spend most of the time outside. It isn't fair to my cat to have an unknown dog in the house. I definitely wouldn't want someone to stay with their dog overnight in a non-emergency situation.
If I were the OP, my stipulations for allowing the ILs dog to stay at the house with them would be 1. The dog and cat can be safely and fairly separated. I'd be OK with the cat being confined upstairs and the dog downstairs, if you have two floors. I would not be OK with confining the cat to a bedroom or a basement for the duration of the dog's stay. 2. ILs pay for a cleaning service after their stay. You don't have or want a dog and therefore shouldn't have to clean up after someone else's in your own home.
Post by fivechickens on Feb 6, 2023 7:22:50 GMT -5
My aunt’s dogs (3 and 16) are allowed over for a few reasons. They are are good dogs and for the most part don’t bug my animals (though my cat would disagree). Before my aunt got her 3 year old dog we promised that if something were to happen to her and my uncle we would take him so it seems silly to say ‘he’s not allowed over’ and, most importantly, my aunt does a lot for us that allowing their dogs over when they need to bring them seems like a small gesture.
No one else has brought their dogs over or asked.
We take our dog to my aunts and MIL. They both love animals so it’s an extra bonus for them.
Until recently DD was terrified of all dogs. She is now okay with most of them but wouldn't want a dog in her house. We are also all allergic. I'm going to pass on having to pop allergy meds like crazy in my own house and then clean up after. DH and I are on the same page though so that makes it easier. Since your DH is the one wanting to allow this I'd make it clear he needs to be in charge about setting up ground rules and he gets to do all the clean up.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Feb 6, 2023 7:59:38 GMT -5
We have 2 dogs and don't have a traditionally fenced yard (we have an invisible fence, which I know is controversial but it works for us). So if someone wants to bring their dog, as long as they've met our dogs and know they get along, they are welcome to as long as they are comfortable with our dog door being open for our dogs and our lack of fence (which honestly has only happened when we've had outdoor gatherings and we've been sitting on our back patio and SIL brought her dog with a tie-out).
We generally don't mind pet guests. My SIL has brought 2 dogs a couple times, my dad brought 2 dogs on his recent trip, and my ILs just brought their cat for a weekend! So generally all are welcome. We have a blind old lady dog who is friendly and likes the company and we haven't had any issues with the other dogs getting along.
However, I did draw the line with my parents bringing their English mastiff in his younger years. I loved that dog but he was just enormously inconvenient and had no manners. By the time he was older and basically just a giant puddle of love, I wouldn't have minded him visiting but he was too stiff to handle the long car rides.
No. Dogs are fine, if they leave me alone and dogs don't do that (the jumping...). No one I know would ask to bring their dog into my home. And as someone else said, if they did and I agreed, they would need to clean everything back to how it was.
All dogs are always welcome as long as they are good with children. If I’m nervous your dog will bite that’s a big no. Our house is very dog friendly though and we can easily throw some gates up if needed.
Like we had a neighbors puppy over the other day and she immediately peed in the house so I gated her out of the carpeted rooms (not her fault. She was excited).
My parents hate dogs and they always welcome my dog and even babysit him. I am so thankful and I know they only do it because they love ME. Houses can be cleaned and they understand that.
Are they comfortable with having to find a last minute place to stay?
We bring our dogs to my ILs but they don’t have pets. We don’t bring our dogs to my dad’s because his dog doesn’t get along with other dogs. We tried by introducing them on neutral ground but it never worked. My parents previous dogs loved our dogs and we’d bring them but again, we’d have them meet for a walk or play time at the park first.
When people have visited us, we’ve always introduced the dogs at a park somewhere first and were prepared for them to have to leave if it didn’t work out when we tried it at home.
I think it really only works if all animals meet ahead of time or you can try it out for a brief bit of time so I wouldn’t be comfortable with what your ILs want to do at all. I also think it’s odd to want to bring your dog to a house where people don’t have dogs themselves (unless they asked you to).
ETA my guess is that the idea might die out when they try to book any hotels on their way or activities. I’d also ask them to find a possibility of a place where you are in case they need it before they leave.
I’ve never had someone try to bring a pet into my house, so I don’t even know what I’d think of that. My dog doesn’t like other dogs, though, so it would be a non starter for us.
Post by starburst604 on Feb 6, 2023 8:47:33 GMT -5
Our dog gets along fine with other dogs, so in general it’s fine if the other dog is ok with dogs and kids. However, MIL has this tiny 5 lb dog and I’m afraid our dog would hurt her by just trying to play. He’s a 75 lb puppy and loves to play rough. She brought the dog without asking us a few days after he’d been neutered which pissed us off. It was enough work trying to keep him calm without the excitement of another dog around.
There are very few homes I’d bring our dog into however, even if the owner was ok with it. He’s too much of a bull in a china shop at this point.
I let dog owners know that dogs are welcome in my house. I’ve noticed that dog owners have their own comfort level regarding how much they want to supervise/deal with their furry family members, so it hasn’t been an issue. In the past 10 years, several family members have added dogs to their family and they bring them which makes it easier for them to stay for longer periods of time. Both holiday dinners and overnight.
Since there is always an exception, one cousin (young-ish) has a dog with severe behavior issues and is poorly trained. It’s a sad situation where the dog would benefit from better handling but the cousin prefers to “baby” him which perpetuates the poor behavior. With that dog’s history of biting, that dog is not welcome.
I don't have a dog but I have a cat who is afraid of dogs. I don't mind when my mom or sister bring either of their small dogs to my house because otherwise they'd need to hire a dog sitter (they both live in another state). I would not want them to bring their dogs for a quick visit if they lived nearby. Also, no large dogs. I don't want to deal with the mess of someone else's dog.
I guess I don’t really have a rule. It hasn’t come up that I’ve needed one. I have two cats. I think my rule would probably be No. but I would also consider a yes if it was a VERY small dog. I don’t know. My cats have never, in their 10 years been around a dog , so I’d probably stick with NO. Also, if I had a smaller house I’d probably be a No.