It's always been a hard no for my house. First we had a cat who didn't like any other animals, then DS was terrified of dogs and now he's wary of dogs and also allergic to them.
One friend brought her dog (with my permission) and left him on my covered front porch in his crate. Her house was for sale so she couldn't leave him there during showings. It was spring, not the dead of winter and she checked on him frequently.
What I might do is totally different than what anyone else might do. Doesn't make one right or one wrong.
We're a very dog-centric family. We have a dog, my sister has three (all <20lbs), and my mom has a dog. If we're getting together, we generally bring our dogs. My sister and I will watch the other's dogs when we travel and can't bring them. But we often bring our dog when we travel and drive because we do a lot of stuff she enjoys.
A bunch of our friends have dogs and we'll get our pooches together at houses for playdates. It's a win for all of us.
But we do not have a cat (H is incredibly allergic to them) and our dog is friendly with all the dogs we know, so there aren't any crazy variables at play.
My in-laws brought their dog once for a weekend visit without asking first and I was FLOORED. They were very "oh, is that a problem?" and DH just shrugged but I could not believe the audacity.
They asked after that, and since my kids ADORE their dog and she's so old she's basically furniture I allow it, but I don't love it.
I think dogs are cute and admire them from afar but I don't love them in my space.
I’m just realizing the only person who’s ever asked is my BIL, and it was a no because their 2 dogs are huge and not well behaved. But in theory, I’d allow a dog that gets along with mine and won’t destroy my house.
We’ve only brought our dog to family’s houses (when invited). They love him and ask to make sure he’s coming with. I think they want him more than us lol.
I’m fine with well behaved dogs visiting. But I won’t leave their dog home alone with our dog, so we have to be able to either stay home the whole time they’re here, or take the visiting dog (or both dogs) with us if we go somewhere. So if they’re coming over for a couple hours, it’s fine. But overnights and weekends can get tricky, and a lot of times it just doesn’t work.
I don't like the idea of having to be the bad guy in my own house, so I think it's a pretty ballsy and inconsiderate request tbh. I just...really don't understand the need people have to have their dogs with them all the time. I have cats and I'd never ask anyone if I could bring my pet to their house - my pets are no one else's problem. Anyway, I'd be a strong no.
It depends upon the dog but I’m mostly ok with it as long as they are trained and don’t have accidents/aren’t ill. Cats on the other hand are a hard no.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Feb 6, 2023 10:13:54 GMT -5
My family and DH's family are both total dog families. All family get togethers involve everyone bringing their dogs. My in laws often won't bring their dog when they come to our house just because they're convinced he's super badly behaved (he isn't - he was a rescue who was basically untrained when they got him, so he just isn't as absolutely perfectly trained as their past dogs), and it actually makes DH mad because he wants them to bring their dog over.
A badly behaved dog is another issue. A good friend of mine got a puppy maybe 4 or 5 years ago, and she was always wanting to bring her dog with her when she and her kids would come over. At first, I was totally fine with it, but the dog wasn't fully potty trained and always ended up going in my house. It also meant that the entire visit was spent trying to stop my dog and her dog from destroying the house as they gleefully ran all over and played. So, in that case I had to start saying no.
I were in your inlaws' situation, I'd 100% want to bring my dog with me on a long trip to visit my son. In fact, in my family it would be weird to take a trip like that without your dog. But they also should 100% ask permission and abide by whatever rule you set. It's your house, and you're under no obligation to allow dogs to visit.
I am a firm no on animals in my home. I have allergies and even a short visit would make me miserable. The hair and odor linger even after throrough cleaning. No one in my family has pets, so it's not currently an issue. My ex ils used to try and bring their dogs and would be super offended when I said no.
I fully admit I have issues with animals, it could stem from my step grandmother. She had like 8 dogs and and a million cats, plus she used to bring her horses inside, they lived in a single wide trailer, chaos and allergy misery.
Post by mrsslocombe on Feb 6, 2023 10:27:24 GMT -5
LOL it's extremely unlikely that anyone is going to roll up to my Brooklyn apartment with a dog, but it would be a case-by-case basis if we are talking about overnight visits. We don't have any pets, and would make little effort to make the place dog-friendly. And I have neighbors that will complain about ANYTHING so the dog would have to be very well behaved.
Nobody has ever asked, but we'd say no. I don't have pets, I don't want pets, and I don't want to deal with the aftermath of someone else's pets - hair everywhere, dirty floors from their paws, scratching my $$$ hardwood floors, allergies, and so on.
I honestly find it weird how people just show up with their dogs and assume it's fine.
This is my POV. I really like dogs, and I'm very comfortable around well-behaved dogs, but I think a lot of dog owners forget dogs don't really belong everywhere.
Even with all that, I think it's more normal NOT to bring your dog/allow someone to bring their dog, so I see no problem in saying that it just doesn't work for you guys.
This is comforting to hear. We don't have any pets, and I might be ok with a well-behaved dog visiting inside, but I know my H would never want anyone's pet in our house due to some mild allergies and not wanting pet hair left behind. We have had friends bring their dogs over, and we've just visited outside. I hope that wasn't seen a completely unwelcoming, but at the same time, if I had a dog, I would never assume it could go in my friends' homes.
With the disclaimers that we have one easygoing, but energetic dog at home already and I’m probably a contender for the NOT having my shit together thread in that my house is often barely controlled chaos, I generally welcome my people to bring their dog over if they want/need to. But I don’t have any cats or other pets that might not get along with another dog, and we’ve never had someone try and bring a dog that isn’t well-behaved or friendly. I’m a pushover and would let her bring the dog and see how it goes. But if it went downhill, I’d be making my DH deal with it all.
My husband and I were just talking about this this morning.
My in laws moved 12 hours from us last summer, and then adopted a senior golden and a senior lab. 3 of 5 of us have allergies, and we have a hypoallergenic dog (schnauzer poodle) who doesn't really like new other dogs. Also, I'm not too keen to be cleaning up after your sheddy dog for God knows how long afte ryou leave. I told my husband never ever ever. My BIL just randomly brought his shedding dog for an overnight visit a couple of years ago and my dog was pissed (as was his mom) - like who does that?
We have friends we vacation with and all bring our dogs with, so my guy knows those dogs and is used to them. If we have those families over we'll invite those dogs. But otherwise, hard no.
I have a dog. My parents have a wonderful lab. My brother has a wonderful mutt. I do not want any other dog than my own IN my house. A nice summer day where we're all outside having dinner/beverages? Sure, bring the dogs. But INSIDE my house is a hard no.
Of course, if there was some true emergency, we'd allow it. But just for funsies...hard pass.
I told my H that if that happens, they need to find a hotel.
I think my feelings about this are probably colored by how ridiculous my MIL can be about this dog. I posted before, for example, about how they let the dog lick all the plates and utensils before they put them in the dishwasher. THAT won’t happen in my house under any circumstance.
You can't run yourself ragged policing the dog their entire visit though, that just won't be sustainable. I would expect some shenanigans like plate licking to occur. Also will the dog be in a crate overnight? Do you have a fenced yard for it?
To answer your question we don't have pets and as people and a home not set up for animals we don't host them.
Sure, a plate or two might get licked, but that’s different from my MIL actively using him as a garbage disposal. Hopefully she has more tact than that in someone else’s home, but I’m not above preemptively saying something either.
Good point about crating him at night and when we go out. I don’t want him left unsupervised with our cat. I‘ll mention that to H as a dealbreaker.
And we don’t even have a (usable) yard (just a large deck) … so … yeah.
My parents bring their dog over all the time, but our dog knows and likes him. She can be reactive to dogs she doesn't know, though. And I don't think we'd ever allow one in our house until she'd met them on neutral territory.
Post by exploding people on Feb 6, 2023 12:26:40 GMT -5
We are a "please bring your dog(s) to our house to play with our dogs and also let us love on them" household. We have a fenced back yard and close the doors to any rooms we don't want them in.
We've had 1-2 dogs at all times for the last ~16 years, and we welcome well behaved guest dogs to visit. My dad and brother both bring their dogs when they come, and we do likewise. We've had a few friends bring dogs as well.
When we've visited friends whose dogs we weren't 100% on, we would bring crates for our dogs so we could keep them in a bedroom separated and safe when we didn't have 100% eyes on.
Post by Velar Fricative on Feb 6, 2023 12:44:18 GMT -5
I don't even like dogs and we have zero pets but we did dog-sit when my ILs went on a cruise. That dog was small, friendly and just didn't give us any issues and I knew she wouldn't, which is why we agreed.
Dogsitting is basically a nice way to appease my kids without the commitment of owning a dog of our own since they want a dog. So I might even agree to short-term visits but the opportunity hasn't come up (if we see neighborhood dogs being walked outside by our house, the kids will come out and play with the dog instead of them coming into our house).
It would be highly dependent on the general behavior of the dog but mostly the general behavior of the owners lol. I would say no if the owners used their dog to lick dishes clean.
No shedders in my house. We have small, long-haired breeds that are regularly groomed. I shed more than they do. I like dogs but I’m not willing to clean all the shedded fur for other peoples dogs.
Well we have a large dog ourselves and really like dogs. This hasn’t come up much but I have no problem with dogs in our house- I would if they were poorly trained or if they didn’t get along with my dog. We live in the land of doodles so all my friends dogs are non shedders, but I would have no issue with the hair if it came up. I’m sure I would grumble as I cleaned though lol
We have a very skittish and scared cat, who hides immediately whenever other humans come over. She would be utterly terrified with a dog in the house, even if one were on the top floor and one were on the bottom floor. It hasn't come up but i couldn't let my brother's dog in the house. I dogsit her often and love her to death but it would be a hard no to have her over.