s/o - Affection: Do you kiss your children on the lips?

[Pilsy]

The thread about affection includes a couple specific comments regarding kissing on the lips. 


Do you kiss your child(ren) on the lips? If not now, did you ever? 

[fortnightlily]

No. These days I mostly I kiss him on the cheeks or top of the head, or just blow him an air kiss. When he was a baby and toddler I'd kiss toes, knuckles, tummy, boo-boos. Kissing on the lips is something that's always felt reserved for a romantic context. That said, if someone else kissed me on the lips and I could tell they weren't trying to be romantic about it I'd be a little taken aback but I wouldn't make a big deal of it.

[Pilsy]

I never did when they were babies, and then when they became toddlers and learned to kiss, they would often go for the lips and I didn't stop them. They were kissing, and it was so cute, I didn't want to meddle by telling them how to do it.

Now that they're older (8 and 5), I never intentionally kiss them on the lips - I go for the cheek or forehead - but they sometimes move with purpose to catch my lips! I'm afraid I'm going to hurt their feelings if I tell them not to kiss me on the lips, but I'm really ok with my only lip-kissing being reserved for my H.

How weird or unkind is it for me to tell my children how to kiss me?? Anyone here scarred as a child from that conversation? lol

[suzyp]

I come from a lip kissing family (which I did not know was unusual until I was in college).

No kids, but I am 47 and kiss my mother on the lips. Pretty sure she kisses my husband on the lips too. Also kissed my grandparents on the lips and various aunts/uncles.

[starburst604]

We do kiss DD on the lips. I guess she’ll let us know when she isn’t into that anymore.

[Jalapeñomel]

Yes.


I have no idea why people get weird about this.

[goldengirlz]

Mar 24, 2023 15:46:56 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Yes.


I have no idea why people get weird about this.

Because many of us were raised by highly repressed and/or emotionally stunted parents?!?!

H and I talk about this all the time and how it trickles down into how we show affection in our marriage. But I’ll spare you the therapy session. 😀

[rachers]

Yes, we do. Our DD calls them smoochy kisses. But really only my DH and DD.

[mcppalmbeach]

I absolutely still smooch my 5yo on the lips and absolutely not to the 14 and 11yo. They would die lol.

[sonrisa]

Mar 24, 2023 15:46:56 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Yes.


I have no idea why people get weird about this.

Germs? I've been told it's how kids get cavities. So we don't. Lots of hugs and kisses but not on the lips.

[dontlook]

I kissed my baby/toddler kids on the lips all the time. My kids are now 12, 9, 4. They all prefer cheek kisses now which is fine with me. We never kissed in my family growing up. I never thought about it before but my small kids always gave lip kisses so I went with it. I don’t have strong feelings about any of it.

[abs]

No.

I have not kissed DD at all in years. She asked us to stop once she started puberty.

[beerlover]

We used to, just a brief peck on the lips. DS is 6.5. However, we just watched the Sandlot (remember the scene where the boy pretends to drown so he can make out with the lifeguard after she tries to give him CPR) and now hes been trying to essentially make out with me after seeing that so I have put a stop to the kissing on the lips and had to have several conversations about how that is not cool. Sigh lol.

[thebreakfastclub]

No. My 10yo son can deal with a kiss on the head but that's about it.

[Patsy Baloney]

I’m the problem! I grew up with a mom who suffered from bad cold sores. We didn’t share chapstick and we didn’t kiss on the lips.

My kids don’t care, though. They kiss on the lips, cheeks, etc. I always aim for the top of the head.

[noodleoo]

Yes, I kiss my 4 year old on the lips all the time. She likes it and it’s cute, so why not? It probably started after the Bluey episode about smoochy kisses.

DD1 was never as into lip kisses, I usually kiss her head or cheek. But sometimes she wants one too (probably after she sees me kiss her sister). I’m sure she will be too old for it eventually but I’ll do until she doesn’t want to anymore.

[heygrey]

I used to, but I guess DS has grown out of it? When he was younger he always pulled us in for smoochy kisses at bedtime, but now he'll give me his cheek or forehead for bedtime kisses. Stopping wasn't really initiated on either side, we just ended up here. He's 9 so I doubt will go back to lip kisses at any point.

[Jalapeñomel]

Mar 24, 2023 16:14:37 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Mar 24, 2023 15:46:56 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Yes.


I have no idea why people get weird about this.

Germs? I've been told it's how kids get cavities. So we don't. Lots of hugs and kisses but not on the lips.

I understand why some people don’t do it, but people get really weird about it.

I vividly remember Stella talking about how sexual kissing on the lips is, and that should be reserved for sexual encounters only…and lots of women agreed.

[dancingirl21]

When my boys were toddlers, yes. Now that they are 9 and 6, no. Neither of them wants to anymore so that’s easy for me to stop since they are saying no. Both are good with cheek/head kisses still.

[sju]

I used to when they were under 5 (or maybe 7?) DD still kisses me on the lips sometimes but I don’t. I follow her lead. With DS, it’s mostly cheek or forehead but I sometimes I kiss his nose when he’s leaving. I am weird but his nose is too cute.

[scm1011]

Yes, for both my kids (6 and 3.5). I don’t expect it to be that way forever (I don’t kiss my parents on the lips) but as long as they want me to I’ll smooch those little lips.

[blondemoment123]

Depends on his mood. Sometimes he wants lips and other times gives me his cheek. He's 5, I don't think this is weird 🤷🏼‍♀️

[mala]

Big kid, no, rarely when she was a toddler if she asked. Little kid more often but shes the one who goes for it, I try to get cheeks or forhead, but shes a stubborn little thing.

[wanderingback]

Nope.
No judgement to those that do.

[Pilsy]

Just to be clear, I wasn't asking because I find it worthy of judgment. IRL, I often feel like I'm the only person who ever does this, so I was curious, and I'm glad to know I'm not alone!

[roxysoxy]

Mar 24, 2023 16:14:37 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Mar 24, 2023 15:46:56 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Yes.


I have no idea why people get weird about this.

Germs? I've been told it's how kids get cavities. So we don't. Lots of hugs and kisses but not on the lips.

This is why I've never kissed my kids on the lips. I have had a lot of dental issues and was hoping not to spread the germs to my kids. My parents kissed me on the lips when I was young and it doesn't bother me if others kiss their kids on the lips.  

[krystee]

I didn’t intend to (did not grow up with a family who did that) and never did with DS1, who never tried to kiss me that way. DS2 (just turned 5) always goes for the lips when he goes to kiss me. I go for the top of head or cheek, but if he is the one kissing me, we do lip.

[somersault72]

My 5 year old yes, my 15 year old not anymore (I don't remember when we stopped). He gives me kisses on cheek or on the head now and we still hug.

[macmars45]

H's parents kissed him on the lips until he was 18.
My parents never kissed me on the lips.

No we don't kiss DS on the lips in our house. At 4.5/5 he started disliking being kissed or kissing H/me so kissing DS in any way is a rarer occurrence. Every once in a while he'll kiss H or me on the cheek.

I don't care if other people kiss their kids on the lips.

Pilsy if you want to change the status quo start a conversation about it. I've had so many conversations with DS about it. Nothing big or planned, just naturally as it comes up. It's been in conversations about consent and how people can change their minds and decide they are no longer okay with something they previously were as well as conversations about kissing specifically because people have different preferences and comfort levels. Obviously these conversations aren't in depth or long because he's 6.

[starburst604]

Can a smooch on the lips really cause cavities? I’m trying to figure out the science around that. I can see deep make out sessions really sharing germs but a quick smooch/peck?

DD is a cuddly, snuggly, smoochy kid and I’ll enjoy that while it lasts. This post reminds me that we had her 2 BFFs over recently and she addressed me as “Mumma” like always and they were poking fun at her, saying they call their mothers Mom. I was like, well I don’t answer to Mom so if she wants my attention she has to say Mumma! Maybe she’s a little younger for her age that way? I don’t know, I’m enjoying before she’s totally embarrassed by me and doesn’t want to be seen with me.